Chapter 9
STEVIE
The place was hopping even by Saturday-morning standards.
I’d hoped to work on perfecting a new nut bar I was creating, but there was such a steady flow of customers, it was almost noon before I even had a chance to catch my breath.
Otto Wilde came rushing in dressed in his uniform with my car keys in his hand.
“It’s gassed up and parked out back. Chief wanted me to make sure you got his messages about the fire.”
My stomach dropped. “What fire?” Please oh please let him be okay.
Otto reached across the counter and grabbed my hand for a quick squeeze.
“No, no. He’s fine. But he had to go to Haskell and take over for their fire chief who’s been injured along with several of his firefighters in a meth lab explosion.
He said he’ll call you as soon as he can and said to tell you he put his house key on your key ring in case you want to go over there. ”
At this, Otto’s eyes dropped, and I saw a blush on his cheeks. I wasn’t sure whose cheeks were redder: his or mine.
“Oh. Okay. Thanks. You, ah… you didn’t need to bring my car here though. I could have gotten Sassy to help me later.”
Otto looked back up at me with a grin. “She’s on an all-day ride. Plus, are you kidding? The chief wouldn’t leave until he was done barking orders to all of us about keeping an eye out for you and making sure you were alright.”
I pictured big strong Chief Paige instructing the men at the fire house to look after the flirty twink at the bakery. Wonder how that had gone down.
“Thanks,” I said. “I guess. I mean, he’s going to be okay, right? Just regular work, not… not going back to that meth lab, right?”
Otto reached across again, this time to clap me on the shoulder.
“He’s going to be just fine. There’s nothing left of the meth lab anyway, and most of his work will probably be done at a desk going through lab results with the investigator.
But if you can’t get ahold of him for any reason, don’t hesitate to call me or come find any of us at the fire house.
He probably won’t be gone more than a week anyway. ”
A week? Ugh. Just when I was almost ballsy enough to ask him to take my virginity and toss it permanently onto the pile of other crap I’d kept around way too long.
I nodded. “Thanks, Otto. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime. Stay safe, yeah?”
Watching him leave, I realized it was the first time I could remember not lusting after another firefighter in uniform.
I was fucked.
That afternoon, I went home to my place.
Well, to my mom’s place which was where I lived.
The same shitty-ass apartment in Valley Cross where I’d lived most of my life.
Before Kade got arrested, I’d been on the verge of being able to afford my own place, but now I was the primary wage earner in our little trio.
Living with my mom made me feel like a child which was obviously one of my hot buttons.
I spent plenty of nights avoiding the situation by staying over at Sassy’s place or working overnight at the hospital, but inevitably I’d find myself back there if only to check on my sister, Willow, and make sure everything was okay.
Willow was on the front walkway chatting animatedly with Aria and Ayana, who lived in the apartment building next door to ours and went to the same school Willow did.
“Hey, ladies,” I called as I walked around to my trunk to get out the surprise I’d picked up a few days ago. “Special delivery for Willow Dolores Devore,” I called out.
Willow’s violet eyes narrowed at me. She hated when I used her full name because it was ridiculous.
My mother in her temporary grief at being abandoned by my asshole father had poured all of her sadness into naming the precious baby he’d left behind.
Weeping Willow and Lady of Sorrows. I did not get my tendency for drama from inside a cereal box. That shit was in my DNA.
The girls sidled over to the car. “What is it?” Ayana asked. “Something from Sugar Britches?”
She loved saying the name of Nico’s bakery, and the three girls giggled as if it were a dirty word.
“Well, I brought some cookies home too. But this,” I said, pulling the slender box out of a shopping bag, “is the surprise.”
Willow took it from me, pulling the end open and sliding out the soft pink ballet slippers. The girls stared at them in awe for a beat before squealing. “Ballet slippers! Ohmygod ohmygod!”
“After next weekend I’ll have enough to sign you up for lessons with Miss Sandra at the dance studio.”
“Can she be in our class?” Aria asked. Since I was sure there was probably only one class appropriate for first graders at the small-town studio, I agreed.
“That would be great so your big sister and I can share the driving,” I told her. “I’ll text Dina before I sign up to make sure it’s okay with her.”
The girls ran off to tell Dina right away as I made my way upstairs to the apartment. When I walked in, my mom poked her head out from the kitchen. She looked just as down as usual.
“Oh, hey, kiddo. It’s just you. Thought it was the landlord again.”
Before she could turn back around, I called for her to wait. “I’m signing Willow up for dance lessons next week with the Johnson twins. I’ll handle the cost and the driving, so you won’t have to worry about any of it.” I took a breath in hopes I’d caught her on a good day.
She nodded and muttered, “Yeah, fine,” before shuffling back into the kitchen.
Yep. Caught her on a good day. At least she was dressed and talking.
I released the breath and made my way back to my bedroom.
All of Kade’s stuff was still in half the room per my mother’s pleas despite the long prison sentence he’d just begun serving.
He’d finally done one too many stupid drug deals with the idiots he called friends.
Honestly, it had been a relief to see him sent away.
My mom had been very young when she’d gotten pregnant with Kade, and the two of them had been more like friends than mother and child in recent years.
I’d worried maybe she was at risk for getting caught up in the same shit as Kade.
Luckily, it appeared she was smarter than he was because I’d never seen any sign of her using or dealing.
But, she’d adored him. Needless to say, she’d been devastated at the sentencing.
It had been like a death to her, and she’d had to come to terms with the massive disappointment he wasn’t as perfect as she’d thought.
To add insult to injury, her boss at the cement plant was an uptight prick who’d fired her as soon as he discovered she’d been associating with criminals.
His implication her own son was a criminal lowlife had crushed her, but she hadn’t been able to disagree with his assessment.
Which only depressed her more. The only upside was the change in her attitude toward me.
For the first time in my life, she seemed to realize I was the “good” son after all.
She’d begun offering vague, hesitant apologies here and there which were so awkward, I just wanted her to stop trying.
I was grateful for the change in her attitude, but I’d have been more grateful if she’d snapped out of her funk and found another full-time job.
Her losing that income, especially after hiring a lawyer to help Kade, was a blow.
At least she’d been able to take over Kade’s part-time job at the vape shop when he left, which meant she got out of bed every day and brought in some money again.
I was thankful for that regardless of feeling the greater burden of the living expenses on my measly income.
But despite being employed again, she still wasn’t herself.
She was still a bit withdrawn, moody, distracted, and getting skinnier by the day.
Seeing her had brought it all back to the forefront of my mind, and I realized I’d been spending too much time away from home.
Willow needed me. Both of them needed me.
I knew Dina, Aria, and Ayana had done a great job having Willow spend lots of time with them to distract her from the loss of my brother, but she needed love and attention from me. From family.
“Mama,” I called down the hall toward the kitchen. “How about I handle dinner for us tonight? Anything special you want me to make?”
“I don’t care. Whatever you and Willow want.”
“Are you working tonight?” I asked. There was no response for a full minute.
“No. I quit. That guy’s into some shady stuff, Stevie. And I don’t have the energy to deal.”
I opened my mouth to scream out a million questions including, “How the fuck are we going to pay rent,” when I realized she was full-on depressed. She needed help, but I wasn’t sure I had enough money to help her get it. I really needed to start that job at Feathers.
I blew out a breath and lay back on my single bed, pulling my phone out to reread some of the messages Evan had sent me that morning.
Is it strange I miss you already?
If you need anything and can’t get me, call the fire house.
Don’t forget to take a nap, sweetheart.
Did you get your car? Otto was supposed to bring it to you.
And the last one that had come in only moments before:
There’s $200 in a yellow coffee mug in the kitchen cabinet. Please take it if you need it.
I’d expected to feel smothered or at the very least annoyed by his parental attitude toward me.
But that’s now how I felt at all. Never in my entire life had anyone cared enough about me to remind me to get some sleep or to arrange to get my car gassed up and delivered to me.
Or offered me money to ease my financial worries.
I carried those messages in the deepest recesses of my heart where I begged fate to let them be real and not part of some elaborate scheme to fool me.
Before I could second-guess myself, I sent him a message back.
Is this really real?