Chapter 17
STEVIE
After we demolished the pasta dish, Evan acted like the grown-up he was and brought up the topic I’d been avoiding all day.
“Who has Willow tonight?”
“Dina and her mom. The twins’ birthday is today, so they’re having a school-night sleepover. Dina will get them on the bus in the morning. I was kind of hoping to stay here with you. If that’s okay, I mean.”
Evan scooted his chair over and turned so my knees were between his open thighs.
He reached for my hands and held them in his lap.
“Of course it is, sweetheart. If I had my way, you’d stay here every night from now on.
I want you to consider this your home whether I’m here or not.
There’s no pressure or anything, just know you’re welcome here always.
Now that you have a key, you don’t even need to ask. ”
I scrabbled over to his lap and straddled him so I could show my appreciation in kisses. We finally made our way over to the sofa in the main room before settling down again with me all up in his grill. I wanted to be as close to him as I could get, even if the conversation wasn’t going to be easy.
“I would love to stay here more often, but after last night… I can’t trust my mom to be there for Willow. I don’t know what her problem is lately, but…”
Evan’s hands tightened on my back, pulling me closer against him. “You know the guy who runs the Vape Snake is a known heroin dealer, right?”
My stomach dropped. I’d heard rumors the guy was shady as hell, but hearing it confirmed by someone who worked close to law enforcement was a completely different thing. “Shit. Well, maybe that explains why she quit.”
“What happened to her job at Valley Cross Cement? How’d she get hooked up at the vape shop?”
“She lost her job after Kade got arrested. When he finally had to start serving his time, she took his part-time position there,” I explained.
“Does she usually leave Willow home alone?”
I could see the concern in his face. “Well, no, but…”
“I hope you’re not calling me a butt—”
“No, no. I’m sorry. It’s just… I mean, I want to say no. I want to say she never does. But that’s the second time she’s done it in the past two weeks.” Evan’s expression got stormier, so I hurried to reassure him. “I didn’t know. Willow told me this morning when I interrogated her about it.”
“Babe, I’m a mandatory reporter. That means I have to report child neglect within forty-eight hours. I obviously didn’t want to do anything without talking to you first, but I can’t just let it stand. She needs appropriate supervision.”
My heart thundered in my chest. “I know. But, Evan… if you report us to CPS…”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “It wouldn’t be you. It would be your mom. Stevie, I’m afraid she could have gotten into some bad shit if she was working with the people at that vape shop. Has she ever used?”
I shook my head. “No. Not that I’ve ever noticed. I swear, Evan. She doesn’t even really drink that much. She’s just depressed because of Kade going to jail.”
He pulled me against his chest and tucked my head under his chin. “Do you want me to talk to her? Or would that make things worse? Hell, maybe we should see if we can get her in to see a doctor. Maybe she needs that kind of help.”
Bless him for trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I knew the truth.
My mom was making sketchy choices because she’d been completely gutted by Kade’s conviction.
She’d gone from a tough and hardworking mom to a woman who’d given up on everything.
She simply didn’t seem to give a shit anymore.
“I think maybe I should be the one to talk to her. But can you be there too? Just in case she doesn’t take me seriously?”
“Of course. Do you want to go tonight while Willow is gone?”
I felt my nerves kick up. “I don’t know if she’s there. She never came home last night, and she’s not returning my messages.”
“Then we’ll wait. As long as we know Willow is in good hands, it’s not a rush.”
He continued to stroke my hair and rub my back, dropping kisses onto my face here and there. After several minutes of comfortable silence, he brought up another dicey topic.
“What were you doing in Dallas?”
Fuck.
How the hell did I answer that without lying to him?
If I told him I was dancing at a club, I’d seem like a negligent ass.
If I told him I was working at a club, he’d ask what kind of work.
And if I told him I was a go-go dancer… well, I didn’t want to find out how he’d react. The man was clearly the jealous type.
“Working,” I said calmly. I could do nonchalant. I could nonchalant the shit out of this.
“Doing what?”
“Oh, uh… I don’t want to say.”
He set me forward on his lap so he could see my face. His was stormy as hell. I raced to explain. Kind of.
“It wasn’t anything illegal. I swear.”
“Then why won’t you tell me?”
“You’re going to get mad, and I’m just not sure about this job yet. It’s… I’m trying to become a bartender.”
Truth. That was the truth.
“Why would that make me mad?”
He wasn’t buying my bullshit, so I was going to have to do a much better job selling it. “I assume you’re going to lecture me about being on the road home late at night.” I lifted an eyebrow at him.
Gotcha.
“I am! It’s dangerous. I can tell you a million stories about fatal accidents that happen in the middle of the night.”
I lifted the other eyebrow. “What about me being an adult?”
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” he lied. “It’s the other crazies on the road that late.”
I didn’t have any eyebrows left to raise, so I pulled out the big gun. “Okay, Daddy.”
His face froze in horror at the name. “No.”
“But, Daddy…”
“No. Jesus fuck.”
I stuck out my bottom lip in a pout. “What will you do if I misbehave, Daddy?”
“I am not your father.”
“Say it again, but this time call me Luke.”
He finally snorted with laughter and grabbed me in a chokehold as if he was going to give me a noogie. I pulled out of his reach easily. “Touch the hair with disrespect and you lose petting privileges,” I grumbled. “Believe me, you do not want to lose Stevie petting privileges.”
“No, I do not.”
We settled back down on the sofa, our lips finding each other again before long. Conversation came to an amicable end as our mouths and hands explored each other’s bodies well into the night before Evan took mercy on me and let me fall asleep in his nice big bed surrounded by his warm embrace.
There was a bad brush fire on Walnut Farm the following day that took the Hobie FD all day and into the night to contain.
Everyone assumed it had started after some high school kids had neglected to properly extinguish a bonfire since it was the site of most of the town’s bonfire nights.
But whatever the cause, the result was no Chief Paige in the bakery or in my pants.
Which sucked or didn’t as it turned out.
That afternoon I stopped by the hospital and quit my job at the coffee cart.
If things at Feathers were going to work out, I wouldn’t be able to juggle another overnight job at the same time.
And the tips alone at Feathers far outstripped the measly hourly wage at the coffee cart even when I considered the fuel cost of driving to and from Dallas.
But more important than any of it was Willow.
I left the hospital and headed home to get there before the school bus did.
There was no sign of my mother having come home the night before, so I tried her cell phone again.
Still no luck. I tried desperately not to think of her doing something stupid.
I packed Willow up and drove to the vape shop just to see if anyone there knew where she might be, but I didn’t have any luck.
The stoner behind the counter didn’t even act like he knew who she was, so I gave up and went home.
By Friday morning, I was dreading Evan’s call.
I knew he’d ask about my mother, and I’d have to tell him she was MIA.
He’d already stretched the rules by not calling CPS after finding Willow home alone, and I would never ask him to cover for us twice in the same week.
As it was, I already felt awful for putting him in this situation.
To add to my stress, I was scheduled to work again that night at Feathers.
Darius planned on putting me behind the bar but said he couldn’t guarantee it.
Either way, I needed the tips. I’d already signed Willow up for dance before finding out about my mom losing her job.
As great as it was to see Willow so excited about the lessons, I knew I now needed to keep working hard to make enough money to pay each month’s dance tuition on top of all the other obligations we had.
There was no telling whether Mom would be helping with the next month’s rent, so I had to assume it was all on me.
The stress of managing everything and keeping secrets from Evan had me in knots all day until he finally called me midafternoon after I’d come in from getting Willow off the bus.
“Hey,” I said, wandering back to the privacy of my room. My stomach jangled with nerves, but the sound of his familiar voice soothed me anyway.
“Hey, sweetheart. Did you make it home okay from work? I stopped by Sugar Britches, but Nico said you’d already left.”
“Yeah, I had to get home before the bus came. Is everything okay at the fire house?”
“Mm-hm. Catching up on all the work we missed yesterday with the Walnut Farm fire. Things are slammed over here. Listen… I have this thing tonight. I’m supposed to meet up with some buddies of mine in the city to celebrate an engagement. I was thinking I might cancel since I haven’t seen you…”
“No. I have to work tonight anyway, and Willow is staying with the twins again. You go ahead and have fun with your friends.”
There was silence for several beats. I knew he was dying to ask where I was working, but he probably realized it would be crossing a boundary I’d set the other night.
“Do you want to ride with me to the city?” he asked instead.
I thought of him dropping me off in front of the gay club. The mental image in my head included sirens and explosives… maybe an arrest warrant or two.
“No, thanks. I’ll be fine.”
“Stevie…” He sighed. “Are you sure I can’t help you with some money? You can consider it a loan if you want to. I just—”
“We haven’t been going out long enough for that, Evan,” I said. “And you know it.”
“No, I don’t know it. I want to help ease your burdens. Please let me help you, sweetheart.”
His voice was low and tempting, but I stayed strong. “Maybe later. After we’ve been together a while. Right now I just can’t, okay?”
Evan paused. “All right. I won’t push. Will you come home to my house after you’re done?”
I was too busy smiling to myself to answer right away.
“Or at least text me to tell me you made it home safely,” he said more softly. “Please.”
“I’ll come to your place. I’d like that,” I admitted. “I miss you, Chief.”
“I miss you too, beautiful.”
I bounced through the rest of my afternoon and evening with an extra spring in my step.
Despite the continued absence of my mother, I felt like maybe things were going to be okay.
At least I wasn’t alone anymore. I had Evan Paige on my side, and he wanted to be a part of my life.
It was the first time besides becoming friends with Sassy Wilde that I’d truly no longer felt alone.
Tonight I was finally going to get to work behind the bar, which meant I’d be able to tell Evan I was working as a barback in hopes of being a bartender soon, and it wouldn’t be a lie.
As soon as I could get ahead of the game financially, I’d have to look for a job that paid better than my hourly rate at Sugar Britches.
As much as working at the bakery was my biggest selfish indulgence, I had to finally admit it didn’t pay enough to help make up for my mom’s job changes.
I couldn’t imagine telling Nico I could no longer work for him.
The very idea of leaving all the people and the place that felt like home to me made me nauseous.
But I wouldn’t think about it yet. One thing at a time.
After dropping Willow off with Dina, I returned home and pulled on a sexy pair of skinny jeans and a tight, hot-pink tank that said Power Bottoms For Jesus on it. I had to admit to feeling a bit extra smug wearing it now that I was a legitimate bottom. A bottom in practice, not just imagination.
Hell, I was like the king of bottoms now.
I’d had sex—bottoming, obvs—a sum total of one time.
But that one time had been epic. And I’d bossed him around, hadn’t I?
I’d told him things like more and… ah… more again.
And I’d commanded him to jimmy my prostate too.
So, yeah. Hell yeah. I was a power bottom. I owned the title of power bottom.
I sauntered out of my apartment and straight into a pack of dudes with low-hanging jeans and white tank tops looking shifty next to a tricked-out Honda Civic hatchback with undercarriage lighting.
“’Sup,” I said with a nod as I headed toward my Ford sedan, praying like hell those gangsters weren’t going to peg me as gay. When I got into the car, I looked down at my lavender skinny jeans with artful slashes up and down the thighs and my super-gay tank and laughed my fucking ass off.
Sure, Stevie. You totally pass as straight. Straight out of a pride parade.
Sometimes I wondered if maybe growing up, I’d taken the whole “Be Yourself” thing a little too far.
My mom had gone through a phase of playing Sara Bareilles’s song “Brave” on repeat for like ten weeks straight a few years ago.
And before that, I’d been given a beat-up copy of a colorful book by a daycare teacher that told a story of a colorful patchwork elephant who didn’t match all the gray ones.
It was the only book that had ever been mine and not borrowed from the library or shared with my brother.
I’d read it a million times. Maybe I’d read it so much, I’d turned into Elmer the Patchwork Elephant and the dudes in the apartment parking lot were the regular gray ones.
How sad for them.
Katy Perry’s “Firework” was playing on the radio when I turned on the car. I rolled my windows down despite the February air, cranked up the volume just as she sang, “You’re original, cannot be replaced,” and sang my fool head off as I drove out of the lot.
I was in such a fantastic mood when I arrived at Feathers, even discovering I had to dance that night didn’t bring me down.
Until I saw Chief Fucking Paige sitting in the front row and panicked.