CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Lexi wasn’t sure why she was so focused on Wilder’s safety when she was aware that her own sport also had the potential for injury. But the very idea of something happening to him didn’t sit well with her.
She tried to tell herself it was just because it would mess up their plans for the Christmas program if he ended up with a broken arm or leg. However, deep down, she knew it was more than that.
After he’d left, she returned to the ice to do a bit more skating before Talya showed up for her shift on the ice with the guests. These quiet moments in the rink were her favorite—second to when Wilder was there with her. Somewhere during these past few weeks, she’d found her joy in skating once again.
Joy, and something more. There was a lightheartedness present in what she was doing now that hadn’t been there when she’d been so intently focused on perfection and gaining medals and recognition. Still, she wasn’t going to slack on keeping up with her training, even if her approach to it was a little different than it used to be.
As she usually did, Lexi worked her way through her jumps and her more difficult spins. There was no reason to, since she wasn’t utilizing those skills right then, but it would feel like a failure if she stopped being able to do the things she’d worked so hard to achieve.
Hours and hours and hours of her life had gone into perfecting those skills. She couldn’t let it all slip away like her career and engagement had. She wasn’t responsible for losing those two things. But if she lost her skills, it would be her own fault.
When Talya arrived, Lexi skated off the ice, then spent a few minutes talking to her before she went to the office. She put her skates in her bag, then said goodbye to Talya and left the rink.
She didn’t need to take her skates home every day, but there was no way she would ever leave them where they could be stolen. The boots had been broken in just perfectly, and it would hurt and be incredibly frustrating to lose them and have to start over with a new pair. These ones still had some wear left, so she took special care of them.
Once home, she made herself a cup of tea, then sat down at her laptop to check her email and social media. She’d protected that address closely, so unlike her social media, she hadn’t had to abandon it. It was rare that she had email of any importance in her inbox these days, but she checked it once a day, just in case.
When her inbox loaded, she stared at the message buried between junk emails.
Help!
The email address showed it was from Mik, which made Lexi wonder if he’d been hacked. There was no other reason he would be contacting her.
Curiosity got the better of her, however, and she clicked on the subject line to open the email.
Lexi ~ I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but I’m desperate, and you’re the only one who can help me. I want to ask you to please consider partnering with me again for the Olympics. If you’ve watched any of the footage from recent competitions, I’m sure you’ve seen that I’m struggling. My current partnership just isn’t working, and I know there’s only one person available who can perform at a level to match mine, and that’s you.
Lexi laughed as she read his words. He’d dropped her like a burning coal and now he wanted her to save him? He had to be out of his ever loving mind.
Lev and Irina agree that if I want a chance at a medal at the Olympics, it’s going to have to be with you. Even though we’ve not skated together for the past year and a half, I believe we’ll still rank better than I have recently.
I don’t have your number, or I would have called, since I’d rather talk to you about this over the phone. Please, give me another chance. I promise I’ll make it up to you.
Make it up to her? There was nothing he could do to make up for the hurt he’d inflicted on her.
And yet… she found herself contemplating calling him. Which was absolutely ludicrous. She owed him nothing.
And yet… there was a part of her that wanted to compete again. To prove to the world that she was still great at her sport. That they had tried to shoot her down, but she was strong enough to rise again.
But did she want to do that with Mikhail?
Curiosity got the better of her, so she picked up her phone and after figuring out how to hide her number, she tapped *67 and then the number Mikhail had included in his email. She doubted he’d answer an unknown number, but he might take a chance since he was hoping to hear from her and obviously knew she’d changed her number.
It rang three times before he picked it up.
“Hello?”
The familiar sound of his voice took away her breath for a moment. She was thrown back in time, leaving her torn between starting the conversation and ending the call.
“It’s Alexandra,” she finally said, forcing the words out through tight vocal cords.
“Hey! I’m so glad you called. I assume you got my email?”
“Yes. I did,” she said, relaxing just a bit. “It was a surprise.”
Mik sighed. “I know, but I really need you.”
In the months immediately after being dropped by everyone, those words would have been a lifeline that she would have grabbed onto with both hands. Now, however…
“What about Amberlyn?” she asked.
“We’ve dissolved the partnership.”
“Already? You aren’t even going to try for the Olympics with her?”
“No. It’s been a disaster from day one. We just don’t mesh, and it shows on the ice.”
That was very true. Lexi had seen that herself. She also had a feeling that the way Mik, Lev, and Irina operated was too much for the girl. Because they’d all been together so long, Lexi had never had a problem with the coaches’ straightforward, often forceful, way of training.
“You need to come back,” Mik said. “We could take gold again, I’m sure of it. I’m prepared to do the work, and I know you are too.”
Lexi sighed. “You think they’re just going to let us waltz in and take a place on the Olympic team?”
“If they think we’re going to bring home a medal, they certainly will.”
She didn’t share his confidence. “Why are you so determined to do this? I’m sure you could find another partner.”
“I need this medal. I can’t have everything fizzle out because I don’t have the right partner. Who is going to want me to coach their kid if I have such dismal results on the ice?”
Of course. It made sense that he was looking to the future. His future. He hadn’t cared at all about helping her achieve her future when he’d dumped her. Why should she help him?
Except, maybe it would help her too. She could come out of it with prospects for coaching, too. Leaving competitive skating on a high note rather than the devastatingly low note previously might be a big help for her future.
They could have selfish personal goals while working toward a joint one. Maybe?
When they’d been together before, their personal goals were identical in the same way their professional ones were. It had made things easier.
“I have commitments,” she said. “I can’t just up and leave where I am.”
In that moment, Lexi acknowledged to herself how important it was to her to carry through with the commitments she’d made there in Serenity. There was no way she wanted to disappoint Wilder or any of the others. They were relying on her, and she wasn’t going to let them down.
Not even for an Olympic medal.
That realization shook her up a bit. When had the connections she’d made in Serenity risen so high in her priorities?
“Are you near a rink?” he asked. “We’ll come to you.”
“Do Lev and Irina know you’re talking to me about this?”
“Yes. We had a conversation about it, and we decided we had to at least try to convince you to partner again.”
“And if I say no?”
“You won’t.”
She hated that he knew her well enough to be able to say that. “I have a job that we’ll have to work around. Plus, I’m involved with a Christmas skating program that I can’t abandon. I won’t have the same number of hours available to train.”
“We’ll make it work,” he said. “It might take a bit to get you back up to speed, but I think we’ll be successful.”
“I don’t need to get back up to speed. I’m still capable of doing all my jumps and spins. We’ll just need to spend some time on the pairs’ elements.” She paused, then said, “One more thing. I’m not willing to do the program we were working on. We’ll have to do an old one.”
“An old program for the Olympics?” he demanded.
“I don’t have the time to learn a new one, and I have no desire to skate to the one we had planned,” she said, keeping her tone firm. “Also, I’ll want a new costume for whatever program we choose.”
“Why?”
She wasn’t sure how to explain it to him when she wasn’t entirely sure she understood it herself. All she knew was that she wouldn’t want to stand in front of Wilder in any of her previous costumes.
“Because.”
“That’s not an answer, Alexandra.”
“I don’t have to give you a reason. It’s what I want.”
“Fine.”
“And before we make this official, I want us to skate together to see how much work we might need to perfect the program. If it’s too much, I won’t be able to do it.”
“You’ve never backed away from a challenge before,” Mik said.
“This isn’t about me backing away from a challenge. It’s about finding balance with the life I have now.” She took a deep breath. “You dropped me, Mikhail. I had to find a new direction in life. It’s not fair to expect me to drop it all for you now.”
“This will benefit you too,” he said defensively.
“Perhaps, but I’m also not willing to trash my life here for people who had no use for me when I was going through a really rough time.”
“You have to let that go.”
Did she?
He’d never apologized for what had happened. For what he’d done to her. Could she work with him without that?
She would only know once she was around him and the coaches again.
“Fine. But if I don’t feel comfortable with you, I won’t hesitate to shut it down.”
Though she wanted to tell him that he had more to lose than she did, at the heart of it, she wasn’t sure that was true. She wanted him to be professional, and she hoped that the threat of her pulling out would keep him in line. If he wanted it badly enough, he should be willing to agree with any of her demands.
After the call ended, Lexi stared blankly at her phone, fighting her first instinct, which, for some strange reason, was to call Wilder to see what he thought of Mik’s request.
She wouldn’t call her mom, because she already knew what she’d say. Even though her mom had known Mik since he was a boy, she’d never been his biggest fan. And after what happened between Lexi and Mik, she’d viewed him as their enemy. She wouldn’t want Lexi to even consider it.
Wilder, however… her mom would probably love him. She’d enjoy his personality, but it would be the way he embraced his faith that would make her happiest. Mik had never taken a real interest in church or Christianity. He’d tolerated it in Lexi’s life, probably because it hadn’t taken up that much of her time.
But Wilder? Lexi knew that he would help her embrace her faith more fully. She also thought he’d be able to give her some good advice. From the conversations they’d had, she knew that, while he might be laid back in his life, it didn’t mean he didn’t know how to consider things seriously.
What would he advise her about this situation? Would he encourage her to go for it? Or would he caution her about joining up with Mik and her old coaches again?
Maybe the bigger question was how she could trust a man she’d only known for weeks, more than one she’d known for years. Somehow, she knew that Wilder would never treat her the way Mik had. He’d already gone to bat for her, and in his own way, he’d been protective of her.
At one time in her life, she would have said she didn’t need that. But having experienced abandonment by the man who claimed to love her, she knew that she’d much rather have a man who was interested in shielding her from hurt, than one who willingly inflicted it on her.
Still, this had to be a decision she made on her own, since it was her life. Her career. Her future.