Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
OLLIE
The moment I step outside on the front porch in a flannel, sweats, the thickest jacket in existence, three pairs of socks and a pair of Ethan’s boots, I feel like I’m staring at one of those winter postcards of places you’d love to visit but will probably never go to.
It’s absolutely breathtaking.
The snow hasn’t stopped falling since I got here, turning everything I can lay my eyes on into a blend of pure white, dark green, and gray-brown.
The ground is soft when I step off the porch, my feet sinking into the fluffy snow that hasn’t had a chance to completely freeze yet.
It feels like walking on clouds.
There are snow-capped trees as far as the eye can see, the pine and spruce trees heavily burdened by the thick snow. It makes my fingers tingle with the urge to shake those branches until the snow falls around me. Or buries me, judging from how much is piled on them.
I turn excitedly to look at the cabin, since I was so out of it when Ethan first brought me here and the house looks like something out of a fairytale; logs of dark wood that make up all the details of the exterior, large windows, the porch I got a glimpse of from the inside with a table and chairs that are covered in snow right now, and trees all around it.
It should feel too lonely, too quiet up here, but it doesn’t.
My eyes snag on Ethan’s tall figure as he stands on the porch steps, his arms folded on his chest, watching me take everything in.
The air is so cold it stings my cheeks, and my breath puffs out every time I exhale, but I don’t feel cold.
Not with the way he’s looking at me, with so much warmth. Like I’m something precious.
A few flurries are still coming down and I feel them stick to my hair, to my eyelashes, to the fabric of my clothes when I move towards him again, never dropping my gaze.
He meets me in the middle and when I reach for him, his arms go around me, enfolding me in his embrace.
“So, what do you think?” he mumbles against my hair.
“I stand by my initial opinion,” I tell him, smiling up at him. “I think it’s beautiful.”
Ethan’s face lights up at my compliment. It’s obvious how much he loves this place.
“How about we walk for a bit?” I nudge his side.
He chuckles, expelling a puff of white air of his own. “Are you sure you’re not too cold?”
“Nah. Besides, you’ll make sure to warm me up later.” I glance up at him. “Right?”
Ethan’s dark gaze burns into me as he slowly cups my face, his fingers sliding until he’s fisting my curls and my breath hitches.
“Yeah, baby,” he says in the low, deep voice that I love. “I’ll warm you up real nice.” And then he’s licking into my mouth, sucking on my tongue, pulling a moan right out of my throat in a kiss that could probably melt the snow beneath my feet.
I’m disoriented and extremely hot when he pulls away, my cheeks feeling like they’re on fire.
His lips curl into a smirk that is pure evil. “I’m ready for that walk now.”
My eyes narrow at him and he barks out a laugh.
“You’re a very bad man,” I mumble as we take a path around the cabin that doesn’t look frozen.
“Just giving you a taste, sweetheart.”
I shake my head at how insanely attractive he looks when he laughs so freely.
He takes us around the cabin, nothing but snow, and trees, and us for miles. The wind has long stopped its howling and there’s nothing but quiet, only disturbed by the crunching sounds our boots make as we step on frozen bits of brunches beneath the snow.
“That’s the storage shed right over there,” he says, pointing at a smaller construction, attached to the main cabin at the back.
“Is that where you chop wood?”
Wait. Did I just say that out loud?
Judging by Ethan’s smug smile, I definitely did.
“And why would you want to know that, Ollie?”
“No reason, just wondering,” I choke out.
“Mhm, if you want me to chop some wood in front of you, all you have to do is ask.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“I could even do it shirtless if you prefer.”
I bump my side against his as hard as I can, which of course makes no difference to him. It only makes him break into more laughter.
“I hate you,” I grumble but end up grinning with him.
“Do you?” he asks as we resume our leisurely walk, his eyes still sparkling.
“No,” I whisper and press closer.
His pleased smile makes me feel warmer than all the clothes I’m wearing.
“Hey, Ethan?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you ever get lonely up here by yourself?”
“Not really. My previous job and way of life brought with them a level of tension that slowly began to eat at me. I liked my assignments and I was good at them, but I realized that it wasn’t something I could continue to do in the long run. I was giving the job too many parts of myself.”
The landscape around us is beautiful, but I barely notice anything, my attention captured fully by Ethan’s words.
“What do you mean?”
He doesn’t answer me immediately, his expression as if deep in thought.
“Let’s just say the job brought out aspects of myself that I didn’t know I had. The assignments didn’t always involve simple security detail or surveillance.” He pauses, and for a second, he hesitates, looking at me as if he doesn’t know whether to continue. Almost as if he’s afraid of my reaction.
My hands squeeze his arm in silent reassurance and his gaze softens.
“The company I worked for took care of several things, Ollie. And sometimes, that meant dealing with bad people who did bad things and needed to be stopped. I won’t get into details, but things needed to be done to make sure they were stopped.”
His eyes are peering into my very soul, begging me to understand.
Realization trickles in slowly at what he’s saying and our steps halt as he turns to face me completely.
There are snowflakes in his wild hair and even more snowflakes clinging to his clothes, but it’s the desperation that borders on panic in his gaze that grabs all my attention and doesn’t let go.
God, does he think that what he’s just told me will change my opinion about him? That I’ll see him as anything different than the fiercely protective man that’s done nothing but take care of me since the moment he found me?
I reach up to cup his face, his stubble rough beneath my palms.
“I understand, Ethan. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.
” I rub soothing circles with my thumbs on his cheeks and he peers down at me with an intensity that takes my breath away.
“It changes nothing for me. You’re still the man who brought me to safety, who’s looked at me with nothing but kindness. ”
He catches my hands in his big palms and brings them to his lips, before he lowers our clasped hands over his heart.
“I don’t regret any of my choices, but I felt that changing jobs and moving here permanently was the right thing to do for myself.
It gave me the peace I was looking for.” He steps even closer, until there’s only cold air between us.
There is a faint tremble in his hand as he reaches for my face and brushes his knuckles on my cheek, his eyes so serious and hard that something squeezes around my heart.
“And I can never regret leaving my previous job because if I hadn’t made that choice back then, I never would have found you when I did in that ravine, I never would have been able to help you and bring you here.
And the thought of you, all alone, cold and scared in that place is an image that won’t leave my head, Oliver.
It still haunts me, even knowing that you’re standing alive and well in front of me and that I’m touching you with my own hands. ”
His eyes are wild as they look at me, swimming with the worry he felt for me that day. And it’s the worry for my life I see in that caring gaze that stirs memory after memory of that day and of all those that came before it.
The uneasiness, the terror, the decision to run, the need to escape.
Mason.
I don’t even realize I’m breathing hard and fast as if I’m still running, until a warm palm caresses my face with heartbreaking gentleness.
“Is there more to what you told me about that day, Ollie?” he asks softly as his hands never stop touching me, comforting me. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but know that you can.” His gaze is fierce as he peers into my eyes. “Nothing’s going to hurt you.”
I feel it when something settles inside me.
With the snow falling around us and our breaths misting the space between us, I know that I can tell him anything.
That he’ll hold me together if I break apart.
That he’ll cast away the demons that haunt my mind.
That he can make it better.
His eyes widen at the smile I give him. Probably the most genuine smile I’ve ever given to another person.
“Take me inside, Ethan.”
And he does.