Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
ETHAN
What are the chances that I could scoop Ollie up, blanket and all, and take him to my cabin where I can be around him all the time and never let him out of my sight again, without him waking up?
He shifts on the pillow next to mine and scrunches his nose, before he shuffles closer and closer until his face is smashed against my shoulder.
Fuck, he’s so adorable. And he’s definitely not helping me decide against kidnapping him.
No. Bad Ethan.
Putting my arm around him, I pull him in until he’s almost spread all over my chest, and he never stirs, just keeps breathing deeply on me.
I let him sleep like this, my gaze moving over his soft features, before curiosity gets the better of me and I look up, drinking in every detail I can of his small studio, the place that has been his home all these years.
From the bed, I can barely glimpse a tiny kitchenette, hidden by a half-wall that obscures my view.
The early morning light falls on the two-seat couch in front of the narrow TV set, a colorful quilt spread over it.
Blue and green cushions are thrown haphazardly here and there and a wicker basket sits at the foot of the couch.
A glass filled with water stands on the coffee table, a single purple bloom dipped in, beautiful even in its solitude.
Just like him, I think as my eyes helplessly seek him out again.
I meant what I told him yesterday. He’s been mine since before I’d even realized it myself. This beautiful sunshine of a boy that’s been plagued by storms for too damn long.
His bite mark throbs on my neck and something inside me purrs in approval, knowing he’s wearing an almost identical one on his.
Even though they’re not true mating marks and they will fade in a few days since they weren’t done during a heat cycle, it doesn’t matter.
Because even the thought of one day putting one on him that will be permanent fills me with indescribable longing—to be the one to care for him, to make him happy, to watch him blush and smile and laugh.
Great. I’m glad I’m not running ahead of myself at all. Some restraint would be really good right now so I don’t scare him the fuck away.
Ollie chooses that moment to sigh on me and all thoughts of restraint fly out of my head.
Well. That didn’t last long.
He hums when I run my fingers up and down his back beneath the blanket.
“I don’t want to wake up,” he mumbles on me, but arches his back, chasing my touch and I have to bite back a smile.
“Are you sure?” I let my hand wander further down, teasing the swell of his ass. “Because from what I see, you’re pretty eager to wake up.”
He grumbles like a cute kitten and rubs his face even harder against me.
“I don’t want to open my eyes and realize you’re not really here and that this is just a dream.”
My hand stills on him, my chest suddenly tightening at his softly spoken words because I know he means it. And that’s what makes it so much worse.
Lifting my other hand, I brush my knuckles on his warm cheek, relishing the way he leans into it.
“Does this feel like a dream?”
His eyes are still shut and I can feel him swallowing. “It feels too good not to be.”
Slow-rising anger boils inside me at his small, paper-thin voice.
Fuck everything that happened to him to make him feel like this, everything that made him think moments of happiness are something he can only dream of.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart.”
Green eyes crack open and fall on mine, all sleepy and lovely, widening slightly when I tilt his chin towards me and I lean forward.
“How about this?”
His breath hitches when I brush a kiss against his parted lips.
I have every intention of keeping it light and gentle, but when Ollie’s sighs of contentment morph into tiny moans, I nip and suck on his lips a little bit harder, lick into him a little bit deeper, kissing him like stopping seems unfathomable.
His eyes are glazed when they focus on mine again, his cheeks wonderfully rosy, his lips used and red. Heart-stoppingly beautiful.
“Alright, you convinced me,” he smiles in the way that’s both shy and coy that makes me absolutely crazy about him.
“I’ll be happy to convince you any time you want.”
There is a subtle change in his expression, sadness seeping through the cracks, and I don’t think I would have been able to notice it if I didn’t track every one of his reactions like it’s my favorite pastime.
“What is it?”
His eyes snap to mine, open and vulnerable, clearly not expecting me to have noticed the change in him, something that fuels my earlier spark of anger.
“Do you mean it?”
Fuck, the uncertainty in his tone is going to kill me.
My hand cups his nape, making sure he doesn’t look away from me when I say, “I mean everything I’ve ever told you.”
He looks at me with such heart-breaking softness that when his eyes slide briefly shut as if in relief and he melts in my hold, resting his head on my chest once more, I feel like I’ve received the biggest reward in the world.
“Waking up next to you feels different, you know,” he mumbles against me and I give in to the need I have to run my hands through his messy-from-sleep curls.
“Yeah?”
He nods. “Yes. You make me want to wake up knowing you’ll be there.
Knowing I won’t wake up to a world where I’m unwanted and discarded.
Knowing I’ll get to see you and talk to you.
You make me feel warm, Ethan. And I don’t just mean physically.
Though that, too,” he chuckles awkwardly, wrapping himself around me even more tightly.
“Sometimes I think that all the cold I felt as a kid somehow changed me, shut out any warmth I could have felt when I grew up.” He pauses, and there is nothing in this world that could tear my attention from him in this moment, from the confession he’s speaking on my skin.
“It’s like with the pancakes, remember? At first, I didn’t try them because I couldn’t spare money even for something like that.
But afterwards, when I could have, I simply didn’t.
Maybe I just wanted to have them with someone else. ”
The room feels suspiciously empty of oxygen when I try to suck in a breath, and it’s all because of Ollie’s raw honesty. I’ve never wanted to protect someone more, to keep them safe and make sure they’re fed, and rested, and… loved.
The word ripples like a tidal wave inside me.
Christ, that’s what it is, isn’t it?
I look at him the way he is right now, rumpled from sleep, covering me with his body, spilling his innermost truths in the peaceful quiet of these four walls, and my chest physically aches from what I feel for him.
Love.
I love him.
This sweet young man who’s been hurt so much but is stronger and braver than he knows. Who’s shy but also bold with what he wants. Who’s soft, and hard, and beautiful.
My hand tightens on his hair and a small whimper escapes him, his gaze tilting up to look at me.
“You’ll never have to feel unwanted ever again, little fawn. I’ll make sure you know exactly what it feels like to be cherished and cared for. If you let me.”
He’s silent for a moment but soon he’s nodding and the smile he aims at me makes me realize what he means about feeling warm.
“Okay. Now, do you have to work today?” I whisper against his temple, nuzzling his familiar scent while my hand strays down his body to cup his ass. “Or can I have you all to myself?”
He lets out a breathless giggle that’s like music to my ears.
“I have a shift later in the afternoon, but nothing else since it’s Sunday. So,” he pushes against me, letting me feel how hard he is, needy and ready just for me, “you have me almost completely to yourself.”
I tear the blanket off him, grinning wildly, and he gasps at the sudden movement. But his eyes turn addictively heated when he melts on his back and he spreads his legs making just enough room for me to settle between them.
“Then that’ll just have to do for now,” I whisper hoarsely before we drown in each other for the rest of the morning.
***
Thump.
My head hits against the short kitchen cabinet for the third time in less than half an hour, which draws yet again Ollie’s attention, who frowns, eyeing the side of my forehead.
His hand comes up immediately to rub the spot, which will probably soon match the fading bruises I still have left from the accident.
“Damn it, Ethan, you can barely fit in here.”
“As long as I fit just fine where it counts, it doesn’t matter.”
Ollie swats my arm and I laugh.
“You are incorrigible, you know that? You’re gonna look like you were attacked or something when you leave,” he says, his eyes dropping to the couple more marks he left on me in the last few hours.
My hand reaches out to squeeze his hip, just enough to pull a strangled sound from him, before I finish up with our extremely belated breakfast.
“And I’m fucking fine with it, baby. It just means I’ll carry you on me wherever I go.”
“God, the things you say,” he grumbles adorably, but he’s smothering a smile when I turn to glance at him.
Grinning, I grab the breakfast sandwiches while Ollie picks up our coffee mugs and we head to the couch.
We’re several bites and sips in when my gaze falls again on the lonely flower and Ollie doesn’t miss it.
“I found it a couple of days ago, lying on the street when I was leaving my convenience store job. It must have fallen off some bigger flower arrangement without anyone noticing,” he shrugs. “It felt like a shame to let it wither before it had the chance to brighten up someone’s home.”
His tone is almost fond and I can’t help looking at him, sitting cross-legged next to me, with the tips of his hair still damp from the earlier shower, in the home he made for himself.
“I think it looks really pretty in here.”
His soft smile is answer enough.
“Did you have fun yesterday, Ollie?” I blurt out, suddenly needing to know.
He looks at me over the coffee he’s just taken a sip of and when he lowers his mug, there’s something playful in his expression.