Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

CASH

T he next week passed in a blissful haze the likes of which Cash had never experienced before. Wilder spent more nights in the foreman’s quarters than not—enough that Cash had gotten out a spare toothbrush for him to use. Since it was on the back side of the bunkhouse, it was easier for him to sneak out in the early morning, but, Cash noticed, he didn’t make sneaking out that big of a deal. It was almost like Wilder wasn’t as worried about being caught as he used to be. Something had shifted between them after that night at Roddy’s. They were stronger than ever.

Wilder never left without waking Cash with lazy kisses to say goodbye before he slipped out the door, and each day Cash’s heart seemed to swell, allowing more and more space for Wilder inside. It was still too early to say the words, but he felt them with every secretive smile, every comforting kiss, every familiar touch. They would break free eventually, and he could only hope that when they did, Wilder would accept them and not pull away in fear.

All too soon, it came time for the auction. He was loath to leave when things with Wilder were so good, but it was the last auction Lain would be able to attend for some time. He wouldn’t leave Mary-Beth during her postpartum time. This might be the only auction they went to until spring.

While Lain said goodbye to the girls, Cash met with the ranch hands in the common room. Wilder stood against the wall, a rakish tilt to his hat with his arms and legs crossed. A hickey was just barely visible at the edge of his collar, and Cash heated at the sight, remembering the way Wilder clenched around him as he sucked the mark into his sun-tanned skin.

“Clyde’s in charge while we’re gone,” Cash said, focusing on the others, who sat around the table. “It should only be an overnight trip. If anything goes wrong, Clyde can call me. If any of you have any issues, go to him.”

He wondered if he’d accidentally planted a seed with Wilder about co-owning the ranch, but Wilder gave no indication that he cared that he wasn’t the authority as the remaining resident Blackwood in Lain’s absence.

“We took care of the big stuff already,” he went on. “The cattle are settled, the feed is stored. Finish winterizing the A and B barns, run the fence lines once a day to make sure there are no breaks, and hopefully you don’t run into trouble.”

“We can handle it, boss,” Clyde said. “Don’t you worry. Go find us some good cattle to add to the herd.”

“That’s the plan.”

He turned to go, and a thrill went through him when Wilder slipped out the door ahead of him. Outside in the brisk air, he paused, inhaling deeply. Wilder didn’t acknowledge him, heading down the walkway toward his room. Cash desperately wanted to give him a proper goodbye. Over on the front porch, Lain and Mary-Beth were talking, holding hands and leaning close.

Wilder disappeared into his room and emerged a moment later with his laundry bag, shooting Cash a pointed look.

Oh.

Cash had to get his travel bag from his room, which was right next to the laundry room. How convenient. He followed sedately behind Wilder, who didn’t appear to notice anyone was walking the same direction as him.

They rounded the building, and the moment they were out of sight, Cash lunged, yanking Wilder’s laundry bag off his shoulder and shoving him up against the brick wall, grinning at Wilder’s sputter of surprise.

“We’re not even inside yet!” he hissed.

Cash didn’t care. He crushed their mouths together, his body singing with triumph when Wilder melted into him immediately, his moan muffled between their mouths. He threw both arms around Cash’s neck, and Cash’s arms tightened like a steel band around his lower back, pinning their bodies together completely.

“I’m gonna miss you so fucking much,” Cash said when they parted, drinking in Wilder’s dazed expression.

“Promise?” Wilder murmured, a smile lifting his lips.

“Oh yeah. That hotel bed will be real lonely without you in it.”

“Gotten used to having me in your bed already, huh?”

There was so much he wanted to say to that. The words crowded up his throat. Yes, I’ve gotten used to it. Yes, I want it every night. Move your crap into my room so you never have to leave. Let me tell Lain about us so we don’t have to hide. Let me love you the way I so desperately want to. Let me be your home.

He swallowed it all back down. Now wasn’t the time. Not right now, when he had to leave. That wasn’t a conversation to have in the moments before he left. When he said those words, he wanted to be able to take his time with them. Say them and show them at the same time. Make Wilder feel them.

Wilder’s face had softened, his blue eyes filled with vulnerability. How much of Cash’s feelings were visible in his expression? Could Wilder see the truth?

“Can I call you tonight?” Cash asked. “I’d like to hear your voice before I fall asleep.”

A slow flush spread across Wilder’s face and neck. It made Cash want to do very dirty things to him. “Yeah. I’d like that.” He cleared his throat, smirking mischievously. “Phone sex isn’t off the table either, just FYI.”

Heat trailed like fingers across his skin. “Good to know. Looks like I’m penciling in an early night tonight.”

Wilder chuckled, then groaned, sliding his hands down to Cash’s chest and giving him a gentle push. “You should go. Lain’s probably waiting.”

“In a minute.” He licked his way into Wilder’s mouth first, kissing hungrily until Wilder slid a hand into his back pocket and urged their groins together, letting Cash feel the bulge behind his zipper, pressing against his own.

“We don’t have time to get off right now,” Wilder groaned. “Get going, you big tease.”

“Fine,” Cash groused. “Don’t forget me while I’m gone.”

Wilder barked out a laugh. “I could never.”

With a sigh, Cash pulled away and left him to grab his bag from his room. He locked up, and when he reemerged, Wilder was still standing on the sidewalk, his laundry bag on his shoulder once more.

Cash offered him the key to his room, and Wilder stared at it in confusion.

“Why are you giving me that?”

“Just in case. There could be a fire. There could be some kind of emergency where you need to get into my room for something.”

Wilder gently plucked the key from his hand. “You think so?”

“Mm-hm. Or maybe when I call you tonight, I’ll ask you to sneak in and get yourself off on my bed.”

Wilder’s lips parted, and Cash grinned, shrugging innocently.

“You never know.” Seriously, he hooked a finger under Wilder’s chin and drew him into a sweet, lingering kiss. “I really will miss you, even though I know it’s only one night.”

“I’ll miss you, too. The ranch won’t be the same without you.”

Leaving was the hardest thing Cash had ever done, with Wilder looking at him so soft and fond. He hoped this brief interlude in their blooming relationship only strengthened their bond. Absence made the heart grow fonder, right? Although if that was true, Cash’s heart might explode. He wasn’t sure how much fonder he could get.

Lain was waiting for him by the truck when he rounded the bunkhouse. They were hauling an empty cattle trailer, hopeful that they’d have something to bring home with them.

“Ready to go?” Lain asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” He said it lightly, but the words were truer than Lain realized. As they clambered into the truck, with Lain behind the wheel, Cash asked, “How are you feeling about leaving Mary-Beth?”

Lain blew out a breath, shaking his head. “Kind of shitty, to be honest. I know she’s still a few weeks from her due date, but twins can make things unpredictable. I wouldn’t be going at all if she hadn’t told me to. She knows we need to hit one more auction before the babies get here. Lord knows when I’ll find another chance after they’re born. I don’t plan to be away from them much for that first year. It’s hard enough with one baby. It’ll take both of us to handle two.”

“I can only imagine.” He dimly recalled some of Lain and Mary-Beth’s issues with baby Annalise seven years ago, when the ranch was struggling and they were all barely eking out a living. The bunkhouse hadn’t been built then—that was a new development in the last couple of years—and Cash had still been living out of his camper. Annalise was a colicky baby, which meant many late nights with a screaming infant. Cash often saw Lain on the front porch in the middle of the night, dutifully rocking Annalise on the swing while Mary-Beth tried to get some sleep.

Lain shot him a speculative look. “What about you? Ever think you’ll have kids?”

“Me? God, I have no idea. Not anytime soon.” Rather against his will, he imagined what it would be like to have that kind of future with Wilder. Living together, sharing everything, adopting or getting a surrogate and then bringing a squishy little baby into their relationship. Watching the kids grow up, sitting on a front porch of their own and admiring the life they’d built.

It would be a dream. One he wasn’t sure Wilder even wanted.

Consciously, he scaled back the dream. Did he want a life with Wilder? Maybe. But he’d be happy with a relationship they could be out and proud about.

“Maybe one day,” he added. “Let me establish a relationship first.” He very carefully didn’t say ‘find’ a relationship.

“Anyone would be lucky to have you,” Lain said.

“Oh, please.”

“It’s true! You’re a good man, and you’re like family to us. Mary-Beth keeps trying to talk me into letting her set you up with someone.” He chuckled.

Cash tried to laugh, turning away to hide his wince. That was the last thing he wanted. He’d have to come clean about seeing someone if she tried to do that, and then they’d no doubt want to know who.

“I can find my own dates,” he finally said. “You tell her not to worry about me.”

“I’ve been trying,” Lain said easily, then shot Cash a curious look. “It has been a while since I’ve heard you mention anyone, though.”

“I’ve—been busy.” God, he needed to find a new subject. He didn’t like lying to Lain. “So, about this auction.”

Lain chuckled. “All right, I hear you. Just know we want you to be happy, and if you ever decide you’re interested in a nice Roselake girl, Mary-Beth knows a few who think you’re real handsome.”

Cash snorted. “Thanks.”

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