Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
WILDER
W ilder’s duffel sat at his feet. He stared at it, fingers buried in his hair, and thought about what he wanted to do next. A lone lamp lit the room, glowing on the bedside table. The room itself was fine, if a little dated. The green carpet and flowery wallpaper trim left something to be desired, but it wasn’t like he was planning to be here long.
He was trying to convince himself to leave, but he hadn’t counted on how much it would hurt . The ranch was home, Cash was home, and it felt like he’d hollowed out a place inside him for both. Leaving had left him feeling like a raw nerve, exposed and throbbing.
If it was better for him to leave, why did it hurt so bad?
He thought back to the moment Lain and Cash had arrived at Mary-Beth’s room. The relief he’d felt when Cash entered the room nearly took him out at the knees. It had taken all his concentration not to lean into his friendly touch and give everything away. He’d never felt a connection to another human being like that before. Being with Cash made him feel happiness he’d never known existed.
He loved him, and he sucked down a broken, hitching breath as it hit him. Was he really willing to walk away from that?
Cash’s voice came to him as though he were in the room. ‘ Aren’t there things you wish you could say to him? Things you sat in that cell and dwelled on for eight years ?’
Yes, there were things he wanted to say to Lain, but more important things he needed to say to Cash. Maybe there was no hope for them if Wilder wasn’t welcome at the ranch anymore, but he owed it to both of them to try.
He could go back, say his piece to Lain and tell Cash how he felt, and then no matter what happened, at least he’d have closure.
Questionable decision made at last, he straightened with a sigh. He’d been hunched forward for so long that his back ached.
He was facing the door and the wide window, which was only covered by the sheer curtain because he’d been too preoccupied to close the blackout curtains hanging on either side of it, so he saw when a shadow passed in front of the window.
And then someone knocked on the door.
Wilder blinked at it in confusion. Who could possibly know he was here? Maybe it was one of the motel staff, although he was pretty sure only the sleepy man at the front desk was on the grounds right now.
He stood wearily and opened the door.
Cash. His hat was askew, his eyes wild. Relief shot through his expression when their eyes met, only to be followed swiftly with wariness and hurt .
Wilder had put that there. He’d run, and Cash had chased him down.
“I’m coming back,” he blurted out.
Cash’s honey brown eyes widened. “You are?” he croaked.
“Yeah.” God, he’d made a mess of this. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have let them run me off. It was stupid. I came here to figure out what I wanted to do next, and I realized all I wanted to do was go back—go back home. To the ranch. To you.”
Cash looked skeptical. “Billy said you didn’t want to be there anymore. That he dropped you off at the bus stop because you wanted to leave.”
Wilder frowned. “What? No. I didn’t say that; I just said I was leaving. And he dropped me off here. I mean, it’s not far from the bus stop, but the thought of buying a ticket made me kind of sick to my stomach. And besides, they’re closed at this hour anyway.”
Cash’s brow furrowed. “Then why would he say that?”
Wilder laughed bitterly. “Are you kidding? He probably hoped you’d write me off as a lost cause and give me enough time to catch a ride out of here first thing in the morning. I doubt he’s ever even been inside that bus stop. He wouldn’t know they’re closed right now.”
Cash shook himself. “I’ll deal with him later. I just—I’m so glad you’re still here. You’re really coming back?” He inched closer, and it was still too far.
Wilder took his hand and tugged him into the room, letting the heavy door fall shut behind them. Then he placed Cash’s hand on his waist. “Yeah, I’m staying. At least for a little while.”
Cash stiffened, his hand fisting in the fabric of Wilder’s shirt. “A little while?”
“I have things I need to say to Lain. You were right about that. I don’t know how he’ll respond. Maybe he’ll fire me. Maybe I won’t be welcome there anymore.”
“Then I’m coming with you, wherever you go.”
Wilder reared back in shock, but Cash didn’t let him go far, wrapping both arms tightly around him. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yes. If I have to choose between the ranch and you, I’m choosing you. I’m not dancing around my feelings for you anymore. I’m sorry if that scares you, but?—”
“I fucking love you,” Wilder said quickly, before his nerves could get the better of him.
Cash’s face split into a grin, and he laughed breathlessly. “Good, because I fucking love you, too. And you’re not going anywhere without me. I don’t care if I have to find a new job. We’ll go get my old camper and live on the road if that’s what you want.”
“I think my parole officer would protest me not having a permanent address,” he said. He was smiling so hard his face hurt.
“Okay, then we’ll get it and park it somewhere, just the two of us. I’ve got some money saved up. We could buy a little tract of land. Get some animals, plant a garden.” His lips brushed Wilder’s. “And our little camper will be rocking every night while I show you exactly how loved you are.”
Caught between laughing and kissing, Wilder pressed their lips together and clung to Cash in relief.
“We’ll be together,” Cash whispered against his mouth. “No matter what.”
“No matter what,” Wilder breathed, kissing him properly.
Cash pulled away suddenly, raising a finger. “But, for the record, I don’t think he’s going to fire you.”
“You don’t know what I’m going to say to him,” Wilder pointed out. “It might be something really mean.”
“I think he might deserve it,” Cash said. “And I think he might know he deserves it.”
That drew Wilder up short. “What?”
“Mary-Beth gave him a pretty stern dressing-down after you left the hospital. Said he’d let you down, and I told him I agreed.”
“You did what?” His eyes were going to fall right out of his head.
“He should’ve defended you. Mary-Beth’s parents have always been assholes. She still loves them, because they’re family, but they’ve never made it a secret that they don’t think Lain is good enough for her. He’s learned to let their words roll off him to keep the peace, but he shouldn’t have expected you to do the same.”
Wilder closed his eyes, slotting his body against Cash’s and resting his head on his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here. How did you find me?”
“Well, Billy said he took you to the bus stop. This was the nearest motel within walking range, if he left you on foot.”
Wilder hummed. “This used to be the only motel in town. It was the first place I thought of.”
“It all worked out in the end, then,” Cash murmured. His hands swept up and down Wilder’s back, slow and soothing. “Why don’t I text Lain that I’ll bring his truck to the hospital tomorrow, and you and I get some rest? We’ve had a really long day.”
“We have ,” Wilder agreed. “Sleep sounds great. You want to stay here?”
“Why not? You paid for the room. Might as well use it.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Wilder let himself be led toward the bed. Cash’s gentle hands stripped his shirt off and then went for his jeans. His body reacted to Cash’s familiar touch, his cock thickening, but there was no urgency behind it. They were both tired and strung out from the day’s emotional rollercoaster. Cash left him only to draw the curtains and leave his hat on the little round table in the corner. When he returned, Wilder took his turn undressing Cash, scattering kisses on his strong shoulder as he did.
“Bed,” Cash whispered, thumb stroking his cheek.
In the dark and cocooned under the blankets, Wilder curled against Cash, marveling that this was how the day would end. He’d gone from trying to talk himself into a future full of loneliness to cuddling with the man he loved.
He snorted out a laugh, and Cash shifted against him.
“What’s so funny?”
“I just… I spent the last hour telling myself it was better for everybody if I left. What a waste of time. All that stress and for what? I didn’t want to leave. I wanted this. Just seems weird that you delivered yourself right into my arms when I wanted you the most. Right after I realized I love you.”
“What can I say? We’re meant to be, baby.” Cash’s lips found his in the dark. They were both smiling.
Wilder didn’t consider himself a superstitious man, but even he had to admit, it was a pretty wild coincidence.