Chapter 14 #2
As I'm leaving, I pull up Ryan's Instagram, scanning until I find the post that Emma mentioned. It was his first game of the season, and we were celebrating his first NHL win. It was a big deal. I smile at the photo because we are smiling ear to ear next to each other. He’s in his hockey gear, and I’m not wearing anything worthy.
Just a hoodie and jeans. But I think we look like a couple?
My chest tightens. Emma hadn’t thought so. No way that a gorgeous, famous athlete would have a nobody girlfriend. So, I must be his sister, right? Because right. Right? Right. Ugh!
I bite my lip, my finger hovering over the screen. I should ask Ryan to take this down. I don't want strangers to recognize me in public because of this one photo.
But the pit in my stomach stops me. Because the truth is...I like this picture. I like the way Ryan is smiling, his eyes bright and excited. I like how happy and comfortable I seem by his side. For that one shining moment, I let myself imagine it was real. That I was his and he was mine.
It's stupid. It's self-sabotage. But I can't bring myself to stop this tiny piece of a fantasy. So, I exit out of the app and head to my car, my mind already jumping ahead to tonight.
To Ryan.
I need to text him back.
Oh my god, am I considering ghosting him? What’s wrong with me?
Can I ghost my best friend?
One hour later…
Baddie Addie: So sorry, Ry. I worked a double today and I’m exhausted. Talk later?
I hit send, happy with my response. But then he doesn’t reply, so I’m lying awake in my bed, tossing and turning, checking my phone over and over and over again.
Chapter 14
I wait until it's just Chase and me left on the ice after practice, the rest of the guys have already filed off to the locker room. Chase's always been easy to talk to, level-headed, and sincere in a way that makes me feel like I can open up without judgment. I take a deep breath, preparing myself.
“It's gone south,” I admit out loud.
Chase glances over at me, his eyes full of sympathy and concern. “What happened?”
I run a hand through my sweaty hair, the words sticking in my throat. “I think I fucked up, man. She came over one night and I asked her to cuddle.”
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You asked her to cuddle?”
I nod miserably, feeling like the world's biggest idiot.
Chase shrugs, his expression neutral. “Okay. And then what?”
“When I woke up, she was gone. Didn't hear from her all day. We were supposed to go for our usual run the next morning and she was a no-show.”
“Damn,” he mutters, wincing. “That's not good.”
“No kidding. If my dad suspected something was off before, I'm really in for it now.”
“Yeah, you were definitely off your game out there today. Coach is gonna sniff that out real quick. Have you tried talking to her?”
I let out a humorless laugh. “She's barely responding to my texts. I overstepped, crossed the line.”
Chase frowns thoughtfully. “Or maybe she's finally realizing she has feelings for you too and it spooked her.”
I scoff, shaking my head. “No way, man. Not a chance.”
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Hey, you know her best. I'm just saying, this calls for an in-person conversation to clear the air.”
“I don't know,” I sigh, feeling the weight of the upcoming game pressing down on me. “Maybe I should just give her some space, let it blow over.”
Chase claps me on the shoulder as he skates past. “Like I said, you know her best. Do what feels right.”
I nod absently, watching him head off the ice.
Once I'm alone, I take a few lazy laps around the rink, trying to clear my head.
She texted me back last night, but she had a lame excuse.
Chase's words echo in my ears. I do know Addie best, and that weird silent treatment isn't like her at all.
She normally sends a quick text back, but she must be feeling out of place.
As much as the idea of confronting her makes my stomach churn with anxiety, I know it's the right call.
Decision made, I finish up practice and head straight for Addie's place, my heart pounding against my ribs the whole drive over. I have no clue what I'm going to say, how I'm going to fix this, but maybe an apology is a good start.
I raise my hand and knock on her front door. I search my keyring for the spare key she gave me when she moved in here. Before I can chicken out, the door swings open and there she is, looking softer and more vulnerable than I've ever seen her.
“Hi,” she says with a smile, stepping back to let me in.
“Hi,” I mumble back, taking in the explosion of paperwork strewn across every surface. The couch, coffee table, and a few on the kitchen counter.
She walks over to it and sits in the middle of the piles. “Sorry about the mess. I just have some catching up to do. What are you up to?”
“Sorry to just drop by. I thought we should talk in person rather than a text message.”
She nods, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, that's probably a good idea.”
I shuffle my feet awkwardly. “So, uh, I'm heading out tomorrow for the game against the Dodgers.”
“Right, of course. Um, do you need anything?”
My eyes land on hers, imagining that hockey stick underwear she wears. I silence my naughty thoughts as I shake my head. “No, but is there anything I can help with? With all this?”
She blinks, following my gaze. “Oh. Um, sure. You can sort that pile there by date.”
“Okay,” I say, grateful for something to occupy my hands. We work in silence for a few minutes before I can't take it anymore. I set the papers aside with a sigh.
“Addie, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other night. That's the last thing I would ever want.”
Her eyes snap to mine, a kaleidoscope of emotions swirling. Slowly, she sets down her own stack of papers. “I'm sorry too, Ry. For not responding, avoiding, and for making things weird.”
Relief floods through me at her words. “Already forgiven and forgotten.”
The ghost of a smile flits across her face, there and gone again in an instant.
“I’m not really good at this,” she continues. “I can stick to the original plan, but I’m not sure I can handle anything more than that.”
I hope my face isn’t twisting like my heart is. She’s telling me that she doesn’t want anything more, and the message is received. Uncharted territory leads to unknown waters, so I have to respect what I’ve gotten myself into.
“Okay,” I nod. I can do that. Totally can do that. Yep. “Hold on,” I say, more than okay with that. “You still want some of this vanilla?”
She nods. “I still need practice, so yeah.”
“Okay,” I grin, returning back to the paperwork. I glance at the date and have more questions brewing. “So–”
“Do you want an Olipop?”
“Yeah, I’ll take one.”
I watch as she walks to the kitchen. “So, do you want to come over tonight?” I ask.
“Tonight?” she laughs.
I nod, knowing that I’m pressing my luck. But this is Addison. We had an awkward moment, I apologized, and she still wants to do this with me, so of course I’m going to press my luck.
I say, “You know, for practicing purposes. It might help my performance for the upcoming game since you have this new job and can’t be there physically.”
She opens up her can, the spritz fills the air. Instead of handing me the flavor she picked, she throws it. “Strawberry Vanilla for you,” she smiles as I open my can. “If I can get all this work done in time, I’ll be at your house tonight.”
I cheers to that and take a long sip.
“Oh, and Wilder?” she sits in between her paperwork. “There will be no more cuddling.”
“Yup. Got it.” I throw a thumbs-up at her. “I can help for another ten minutes, but I have to go home to get ready for a hot date tonight.”