Chapter 21 #3
But he can hold me. He can love me. He can stand by my side. He can tell me that he loves me, and my life feels a little more complete. Because with every fucking ounce of me, I absolutely love Ryan Wilder.
He cradles my face in his big hands, his touch achingly tender. “I just want you, exactly as you are, Baddie. Stubborn streak, commitment issues, and all.”
A watery laugh bubbles out of me. “You sure know how to sweet talk, Wilder.”
“I'm serious.” His thumb strokes over my cheekbone. “I see you, Addison. The good, the bad. I know you, and I love every bit of you. Holy fuck that feels so good to say. So, let me prove it. Let me show you, every day, how fucking gone I am for you.”
The way that Ryan is looking at me is like I'm his whole world. And I’ve ignored this look for years. He’s always looked at me this way. He's so certain of us. Of me. Of how he feels for me.
I want to borrow some of that certainty and be unafraid to love him.
I think that’s fair. If he’s waited all this time for me to stop being emotionally stubborn , I owe him that much.
I say emotionally stubborn lightly because I have been so in love with him too that it’s stupid how many years we let pass by.
“So, you’re moving, right?” he asks when we finally break apart. I’m smiling through happy tears, winding my arms around his neck.
I nod lightly.
His smile is brighter than the sun. “Fuck, I love you. I love you so much. I’m a fucking idiot for not saying it sooner. I’m sorry.”
This is real. He is mine .
“Baddie, I want you so much. All the damn time.”
My body trembles, the feeling settling low in my belly.
He takes my mouth again, hot and thorough, licking deep. I melt into him, my bones melting. God, how is it possible that it just keeps getting better every time? That I want him more with each kiss and each touch?
Ryan's hands skim down to my thighs, gripping tight as he hitches me up and wraps my legs around his waist. I cling to his shoulders, gasping into his mouth as he carries us to the bedroom. He lays me out on the bed like I'm something precious, his eyes roaming over me with open hunger.
“You’re all mine,” he rasps, trailing his fingers down my sternum.
I arch into his touch, my skin pebbling with goosebumps. “I am. Does that mean we’re officially together?”
A smile flashes across his face. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard. “I would love it if you were my girlfriend.”
My heart clenches and I reach for him, lacing our fingers together. “Me too.”
For a second, I think I made the moment awkward, maybe pushed too much, but then he falls onto me, crashing our mouths together like he couldn't hold back another second.
He kisses me deep and slow and so thoroughly I see stars, his large body covering mine. I wrap myself around him, welcoming his weight. Needing him closer, always closer.
We undress each other with soft moans.
When we're finally bare, Ryan sits back on his heels and just...observes me. His gaze rakes over my body, setting my nerve endings on fire.
“Ryan,” I whimper when the anticipation gets to be too much.
“You’re my girl, Ads. It’s official.” He settles over me again, the hot, hard length of him cradled against me. “I’ve always wanted this. Always wanted you. I love your eyes,” he says, his thumb brushing my cheekbone. “Your tiny freckle on your cheek.” He kisses it.
My breath hitches, everything in me attuned to his words, his touch.
“And your smile. Christ. Lights up my whole fucking world. Even when you're giving me shit, I can't get enough of it.”
“Make love to me,” I breathe.
He reaches between us to line himself up.
And then he's pushing inside in one long, perfect stroke, our moans filling the room. He stretches and fills me so perfectly like my body was made just for his.
“Addison.”
My name is a gravelly plea as he starts to move, deep rolling thrusts that send pleasure skittering throughout my body.
I hitch my legs high around his waist, tilting my hips to take him deeper. “Yes,” I moan. That feels so good, Ry.”
He sets a steady, purposeful rhythm, the drag of him lighting me up from the inside out.
“You feel so fucking good.”
I love his vanilla sex, but I have his voice in my head that reminds me that he’s bored of vanilla. I ask him to lean back, so I can put my legs on one side. When I do, he dives deeper inside me, and we both grip each other as moans escape our throats.
“Fuck, Addie.” A low growl rumbles out of him, and his thrusts speed up, going harder, deeper. “You’re mine.” He grips my ass, using it as a handlebar. “This. You. Are all. Mine.”
The words dripping from his lips makes this feel so fucking good.
“All yours,” I whimper. “I love you, Ryan.”
He slows down to kiss me. “I love you.”
His hand slips between my legs, fingers pressing in the perfect spot, and I cry out as ecstasy crashes through me. I'm distantly aware of Ryan folding his big body over mine as he comes all over my ass and thigh.
We cling to each other in the aftermath, gasping out of breath. I've never felt so connected to another human being, so completely aligned mind, body, and soul. Like two halves of a whole finally coming together.
When Ryan tries to walk away, I make a small noise of protest, not ready to let him go. He chuckles and presses a smiling kiss to my neck.
“I'll be right back,” he promises.
He returns with a washcloth to clean us up. When he rejoins me on the bed, he doesn't hesitate to draw me into his arms, tucking me securely against his chest.
I burrow into him, my cheek pressed over his galloping heart. We're quiet as our breathing slows, fingers stroking absently over sweat-damp skin.
“Do you remember that one time you fell in the snow, and I carried you all the way home?” Ryan asks.
A smile tugs at my lips. How could I forget?
“Of course I remember,” I say softly. “It's the moment I knew I loved you.”
Ryan's arms tighten around me. “Yeah? That was it for me too.”
“Really?” I ask, peering up at his face to see if he’s serious.
He looks down at me and nods.
My lips land on his because suddenly, all this time in between doesn’t seem to have been wasted. If I had to do everything all over again to get to this moment, I would do it a thousand times over.
“Ryan Wilder, I love you.”