8. Wilder
Chapter eight
Wilder
“ Y ou good out there?” I grinned as I waited for her response. She stuttered over her words, glancing anywhere but the mirror.
“Um, fine. Yeah! Just…tripped.”
Tripped my ass. Maybe over her tongue. I hadn’t closed the bathroom door all the way, wanting to keep my ear out for anything amiss. I didn’t bank on her peeking at me, not that I minded. Shimmying out of my pants, I slipped on the clothes that Rosie found. She was right. They fit perfectly. I transferred the gear I wanted within arms reach into the pockets of the navy cargo pants. A Zippo lighter and a Leatherman multitool on my left side, my Sig Sauer on my right. While not regular issue for the Canadian Army, these weren’t regular times. I knew more than one of my men threw a few extra goodies into their packs before we rolled out. I’d sleep better with it at my hip.
Rosie lay stiffly on the side of the bed she’d chosen, closest to the closet, arms at her sides and her eyes glued to the ceiling. If she breathed wrong she might roll right off the edge.
“I know I’m big and macho, but I don’t need that much room,” I snorted, coming to stand on my side.
She shrugged, the blankets up to her chin. “I’m good over here.”
“Right.” I’d never spent the whole night sharing a bed with a woman, and I didn’t know if I should pull back the covers or simply lay on top of them.
“Are you cold?”
She opened her mouth, closed it again, then spoke. “Kinda.”
I’d seen extra blankets in the tiny closet that housed towels and extra toilet paper. Soft and white, I carried it over to her side stretching it over her body.
“I can do that myself.”
I shoved the fuzzy blanket beneath her hips, tucking her in tight. “Nah, keep your arms in and stay warm.”
“What about you?”
“I run hot,” I said, straining to keep a smirk off my face as her eyes widened.
Checking the windows and doors one last time, I laid down next to her. Leaving so much space between us felt ridiculous. What was the harm in having our legs brush? I’d already had her cradled against my chest when she passed out. She didn’t know it, but I’d stroked the back of her hand while she slept, murmuring encouragement that I wasn’t sure she could actually hear.
“We’re gonna find a camping stove tomorrow,” I said, my hands folded over my stomach.
“Yeah? You gonna cook me some pancakes?”
“Hell yes.”
Her giggle sounded soft, muffled by the blankets cocooning her.
“You okay with me blowing out that candle?” It made me nervous sleeping with an open flame. Maybe there would be a lantern or something safer that we could use for light at night.
“Sure.”
I turned to my side, propping myself up on my right elbow. The mattress sunk beneath my weight, rolling Rosie ever so slightly in my direction. Our shoulders brushed as I blew out the flame, casting the room into nearly pitch blackness. I could hear her quiet breaths and the creak of the mattress springs, the burnt cotton scent of the wick growing stronger.
“Goodnight,” I whispered.
It took effort to roll back to my side, away from her warmth. She didn’t say it back, but I listened as her breathing slowed, looking in her direction where only a shadow lay.
…
An echoey shout that sounded far too close for comfort filtered in through the bedroom window. I had my flashlight out and clicked on in an instant. Rosie sat up straight, spine stiff, eyes wide with undisguised fear. I held my hand up, listening hard as the man yelled again.
“Rosiiieeee, where are you?”
Her blue eyes slipped closed as she shook her head.
Someone is looking for her? Who?
Sneaking to the window, I flattened myself against the wall, peering out into the street. A waxing gibbous moon hung low in the sky, barely any cloud to dim its glow. A young guy with shaggy blond hair cupped his mouth before screaming Rosie’s name even louder, the moonlight gleaming off his blond hair. Buddy had a death wish.
He wasn’t facing our building, instead walking further away with every stumbling step. Was he drunk? I pulled the curtains tight, careful to keep my flashlight low.
I kneeled on the soft carpet, tentatively resting my palms on Rosie’s knees.
“C’mon. Out with it,” I said, rubbing my thumbs along the soft flannel pants she wore.
“I thought he’d go away,” she whispered, a tear leaking down her left cheek.
“Who is he?”
“My boyfriend.”
The word stung more than it should. But it was obviously an expired title. People didn’t hide from the ones they loved.
“Your boyfriend seems kinda dumb.”
Rosie chuckled, wiping the fresh tears as they flowed. Her half smile was pretty, even with the pink nose and puffy eyes.
“He really is. I wanted to break up so long ago. But, then all this happened. He had a truck and friends that were keeping us safe. I’m the dumb one for sticking with him.”
I shuffled closer, hips pressed up against the mattress.
“Nah, seems smart to me. You have to do what you can to survive. It got you this far. It got you…to me,” I finished, gnawing at my cheek as I waited for her to pull away.
Rosie scooted closer, opening her thighs enough so I had to slide my hands further up her legs. They settled in the creases of her hips, dangerously close to a spot I’d tried, and failed, to not think of.
A stretch of silence passed as she let me hold her close. To keep her safe for one more moment.
“I thought he’d be gone. We were only passing through. I guess that means he found somewhere to stay. I’m worried that…”
She trailed off.
“Worried about what?”
“We ran into some sketchy looking guys. I used that as a distraction to run off. What if he sweet talked his way into that group?”
I scratched at the scruff on my jaw. Dangerous gangs sprouted up overnight. It took, what, a few missed meals for people to lose their marbles? People were starving, and they’d join up with anyone who would give them some strength. Rosie and I were weak. Two people against a gang? That wasn’t a fair fight, but who cared about fair anymore?
“He seemed alone,” I said, maybe to reassure her. Maybe to reassure myself.
No matter the level of danger, my body couldn't seem to ignore its proximity to Rosie. Neither of us were particularly clean, but when I leaned in close, I found that the scent of her warm skin was enough to make my heart race. I wanted to run my nose along the muscle that ran from her shoulder to her ear. To find out if the sensation would make her shiver.
“What are we going to do?”
“Nothing we can do tonight,” I said, relighting the candle while we calmed down.
Tonight I’d keep watch out the window. A plan started forming in my head to secure our building better. The doors to the stairwells could be sealed off. We’d search for storage lockers tomorrow and then I’d see about disassembling some furniture to jury-rig some sort of latch. Anything to give us a bit more security and time. We’d been shitty about light discipline also. If we could cover the windows better, without it being obvious from the street, then that would allow us more wiggle room. There were so few people left in the city, a glowing apartment window would be like a beacon of the worst kind. Rosie’s sock feet pressed gently against my ass, like she wanted me to come closer. The ideas swirling in my mind, all the ones concerned with our safety, stopped like a sailboat that’d lost its wind. They could wait a little while.
“Wilder,” Rosie whispered my name and it sounded completely different than it ever had before.
She made it sound like it meant hope and safety. Only a couple days ago she’d looked at me with fear in those blue eyes. Now they were hooded with what I thought was desire. My dick pressed against my zipper, and I leaned against the mattress for relief. What if all she wanted was a hug and some reassurance? I needed to chill the hell out. My palms slid over her hips and around her waist. She was so tiny. I had to make sure she ate more. A gasp slipped from her lips when my thumbs grazed the bare skin beneath her t-shirt. It was my turn to be surprised, because she leaned and pressed her soft, closed lips against mine. My shock at her boldness parted my mouth, and Rosie’s wet tongue traced a path across my bottom lip.