14. Wilder
Chapter fourteen
Wilder
I dropped to the ground in front of Rosie so fast my knees cracked as they hit the concrete.
“You’re okay? You promise?”
She shivered. “Yes. Just c-cold.”
I shook my head, frowning. “No. That’s the shock too. We have to get you back upstairs.”
“What if we aren’t safe here anymore?”
I wanted to make promises. To tell her I’d keep her safe above all else. But how could I do that when I couldn’t even prevent Addams, a fully trained servicemember, safe? Rosie was intelligent and brave when she needed to be, but getting her to safety felt like an uphill battle that I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to fight. Stroking tears off her cheeks, I kissed her on the forehead then got to work. I stuffed the most important things we’d found into a large duffel bag and slipped the straps over my shoulders like a backpack. I gathered the flashlights, switching them off and storing them in the tote Rosie had carried down with us. Leading Rosie back upstairs drained me. Around every corner I expected an angry mob. I figured we had about a fifty-fifty shot at that kid telling the truth. Killing an unarmed minor wasn’t something I was desperate enough to do, but if he fucked us over and Rosie got hurt as a result? I’d have to rethink my moral compass after that.
Once back in our secured apartment, I affixed one of the propane canisters to the silver campstove. Lighting it with my Zippo, I boiled a tiny pot of water, pouring the steaming liquid into a pumpkin-shaped mug. The spoon clinked against the ceramic as I stirred in the hot cocoa powder. Rosie needed something sweet to help pull her out of her state of shock. If it cheered her up, that would be a bonus. I found her perched on the edge of the bed a minute later.
“You were supposed to get changed,” I said gently, placing the hot mug on her bedside table.
“I was?”
Blood smudged her cheek, and when I looked down, I found more staining my clothing. Returning to the kitchen with a clean washcloth, I dipped it into the remaining warm water in the pot. She hadn’t moved an inch when I sat down next to her, and she barely seemed to notice as I stroked the damp fabric over her cheek, erasing the visible reminders of tonight. I folded the cloth, and wiped a clean section over the rest of her face, washing away the salt from her tears.
“Let’s get you comfortable, okay?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
I found another pair of pyjamas in the dresser and helped her into them. She crawled into bed, all but burrowing beneath the blankets. It pissed me off that I couldn’t make the apartment warmer. I’d get her a fucking fireplace one of these days. Her fingers trembled as she accepted the mug and lifted it to her mouth.
She smiled, drawing a deep breath after a particularly long gulp of cocoa. “That’s really damn good.”
“Yeah? Instant hot chocolate cooked over a camp stove is my speciality.”
“Gosh, I’m lucky. Are you gonna have one?”
I shrugged.
“I’d like it if you did.”
Rosie reached out, lacing our fingers together.
“That was a hard night for us both.”
I nodded, looking down at her smaller hand interlaced with my own. Keeping everything I was feeling to myself hurt too much. Good thing I didn’t have to.
“The friend I lost…his name was Addams. Ethan Addams.”
Rosie squeezed me tighter.
“He and I were part of a small group. A platoon.”
I didn’t know where I was going with this, but the words kept coming.
“We’d had others with us too, but bad shit kept happening. It was like we couldn’t catch a break.”
My breath hitched.
“But Addams and I were still together. So that was good. The two of us were doing okay. We figured we’d make our way back to CFB Cumberland, let them know about what happened to everyone else, and put this mission behind us. But we fell asleep in a warehouse together. And when I woke up, he was gone.”
I don’t know when I pulled my hand away from Rosie, but all of a sudden I was pacing the small bedroom.
“Even his pack was gone. I waited around…thinking maybe he went to check something out?”
I shook my head.
“But why would he do that? He was clever. Being alone? That’s not good.”
“Wilder.”
My name hung in the air, the mere sound of it enough to stop me.
“I’m so sorry about your friend,” she said, tears shining in her blue eyes.
“Me too.”
“Do you want to sleep?”
I was absolutely wired. Ramped right up on adrenaline, fear and anger. Rage bubbled right beneath the surface of my skin like the water I’d just boiled in the pot. The idea that someone could so easily walk right in on us and try to take the things we needed to survive filled me with a gnawing fear I couldn’t shake. Sleep wouldn’t come without difficulty.
“Yeah,” I lied. “Sleep sounds great. Right after my hot chocolate.”
I tucked Rosie tight into her blankets. “Don’t let me keep you up. Get a head start, okay?”
For a long time I stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall while I watched over her. What sort of things would she dream about tonight? I could only hope it was about hot beverages and warm fires and my hands all over her body.
…
She walked into the living area the next morning looking adorably dishevelled. From the bedhead to the twisted up pyjamas, Rosie was fucking cute.
“Wilder…” She trailed off.
“Yes?”
“I…was going to say your full name…but I don’t know it.”
I clicked my tongue in mock disapproval. “To think I was going to sleep with you and you don’t even know my whole name.”
Rosie rolled her eyes but not before I saw her cheeks turn pink. The idea of having sex with her made me feel pretty hot too.
“I mean, you really know how to make a man feel like nothing but a piece of meat.”
“Yeah, you sure are hard done by.”
“It’s Mason.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Mason Wilder, you never came to bed.”
I stretched out on the loveseat, thoroughly enjoying my scolding with my arms tucked behind my head. I might have flexed my biceps just because.
“I dozed.”
She scoffed, like she wasn’t buying it, but she didn’t press me. I had slept about ninety minutes, but the jerry cans that Rosie had found were on my mind all night, and I couldn’t wait to check out the parking garage to see if any of the vehicles left there would suit our needs. I’d briefly poked my head in there on the day I secured the stairwell door. At least half the stalls were empty. So many people tried to get out of town or were at work when they fell ill. A working vehicle with a tank of gas could get us out and away from the city and cut days off our trip. I had to at least try.
She stretched before wandering into the kitchen. “Guess what we get to have today?”
“You tell me.”
“A hot breakfast. Pancakes, baby!”
Rosie had been through something traumatic yesterday. Something that might put others in a downward spiral. The odds that the man I’d shot was the first dead body she had ever seen were high. I groaned, climbed off the couch and set a small frying pan on top of the stove that lived in the centre of the kitchen table. Rosie shook pancake mix and shelf stable milk into a mixing bowl.
“About yesterday,” I started. “You know that I had to do…what I did, right?”
She nodded, stirring the beige batter with a plastic spoon.
“When he grabbed his gun it went off by accident. He could have killed me right there…or that kid…or you. Somehow he didn’t drop it. I knew he was going to point it at me next. I shoved the kid to the ground and shot him.”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” Rosie pulled a can of cooking spray out of a bin and spritzed some in the hot pan.
“It’s important to me that you don’t think I’m some sort of…” I searched for the right words. “Trigger-happy commando.”
She shook her head, scooping a few spoons of thick pancake batter into the pan as it sizzled.
“It’s going to take a lot more than rescuing us from one gunman for me to think poorly of you.”
I sighed in relief as she flipped the pancake, exposing a dark brown crust.
“Oops, a bit too hot.”
“I’ll eat that one. Don’t worry,” I told her.
I showed her how to turn down the flame and the next one came out perfect.
“If we are going to leave, which I think we should before winter comes. I might have to do more stuff like that to keep us safe.”
Rosie cupped my cheeks with her palms, forcing me to look at her.
“We will cross that bridge when we get there, okay? Together.”
She forced me to nod with her hands, causing me to laugh.
“I said, okay?” She dragged out the word, making me chuckle.
“Yes, yes!” I moved my head exaggeratedly before pulling her into my lap.
“I need to make pancakes.”
I scooted my chair to face the stove and wrapped my hands around her waist. “You can do them from here.”
It felt wild to me that we’d been having a conversation about the necessity of killing people that threatened us, and now we flipped pancakes, dropping mini chocolate chips in the golden circles while she was perched on my lap. Would life always be like this? Danger followed by brief moments of normality? If those sweet seconds would be spent with Rosie, then maybe I could endure the bad parts.
We ate in silence, savouring the simple pleasures of hot food and each other’s company. Today, though, I wanted to allow Rosie the chance to recover, mentally and physically from all that we’d endured. We sat on the living room floor around the coffee table playing board games and working on a puzzle. While she was occupied in the bathroom, I did a lap of the apartment, peeking out the windows as covertly as possible. I heard no car engines, saw no people, and nothing seemed amiss. Maybe I’d put the fear of god into the kid and he’d stay true to his word. Was it truly too much to hope that someone had some decency?
“Wilder! It’s your turn!”
I replaced the curtain and hurried back to Rosie.