FOURTEEN
Dead eyes stare at me.My hands shake uncontrollably. Sick gurgles in my stomach, rising steadily, closer and closer to spilling from my throat. The taste of it is bitter in my mouth, and I can’t help but gag.
My feet won’t move, but my entire body trembles uncontrollably. I scream, but no one hears me. I turn, racing away, then fall to my knees so hard the reverberations rock through me from head to toe. Vomit. My body tries so hard to eject the contents of my stomach, it strains the muscles of my abdomen and bursts blood vessels in my eyes. I gasp for breath.
Staring in the mirror, wild eyes blink, facial features drawn. Lips tremble. What have you done?
Blood. Everywhere. Splatter. Naked bodies. Horror-stricken expressions. My heart pounds and pounds as my brain delves into dark, dirty places. Skin crawling, I know I can’t handle this. Don’t want to look anymore.
I need this to be over. I need to erase all of it from my head. Every sick memory. Every twisted moment.
Someone is screaming, the sound hoarse and heart-wrenching. Over and over and over. It’s so agonizingly awful, I wish someone were there to make them stop. I can’t listen for another second.
“Wilder. Wake up, man.” A rough voice rouses me from sleep. Royal.
I suck in a sharp breath, bolting to sitting. My legs are trapped, and I panic for a moment until I realize the sheets are twisted around my legs. I grunt, kicking myself free. My eyes finally fly open, but I can’t see shit in the pitch dark of the room. “Fuck. What the fuck,” I heave out, my heart racing out of control. Sweat has popped out on my forehead, and I swipe it away, only to realize my chest is drenched with it as well.
“I assume that was a nightmare,” Royal grunts out. “You fuckin’ hit me and woke me up.” He pushes onto his elbow.
Royal had joined me in bed shortly after I’d crashed, too exhausted for it to even matter what we’d done together the last time we’d slept side by side. He said he’d sent Beckham to Echo, knowing she’d be who he needed tonight.
Fuck.I’m glad she didn’t see me like this.
“Can I get you something? Water? Or something else…? I bet Kara has some alcohol stashed somewhere if you need something to mellow you out.”
I shake my head, unable to dislodge everything clawing at my brain. “No. I’m good. It was nothing.” I flop down on my side and tuck the pillow under my head, tormented by all the demons that chased me through sleep. Fragments of memories, old and new. Disturbing imagery and fucked-up thoughts.
The mattress gives as Royal moves, and then, out of nowhere, his arm loops around my waist, and he tugs me back against his chest. His chin rests on my shoulder as he whispers, “You’re fuckin’ shaking. Don’t tell me that was nothing.” The warmth of his hand splayed over my pec distracts me for a moment before I rear up, breaking free of his hold.
I climb hurriedly from the bed, my head bowed and chest heaving. “I said it was nothing. Back off.” Lifting my arms over my head, I lock my fingers together as my chest heaves. I stride across the room, and back, unsure whether what’s in my goddamn head will ever leave me the fuck alone. If I keep moving, maybe I can outrun it. Everything distorts in my mind and is now ten times worse than living through it the first time.
I huff out a crazed laugh. Could it get worse than what I’d done? My chest jerks, my breaths coming so labored and ragged they hurt. It’s like I can’t get enough air. I’m fucking cracking. Pitching forward, I grasp my thighs above the knees and drop my head, staring at the floor between my feet. Oh. Fuck. Me. I’m trapped with this pseudo reality. Can’t get it out of my fucking head. The nightmare creeps through my brain at half speed, like sick sludge, and the vivid, horrific images sink into my marrow. I feel everything that deep. Won’t ever be able to rid myself of it. I haven’t felt like this in a very long time, and I’m positive that witnessing the aftermath of Freya and Zane’s demise has caused this.
“Wilder, the fuck. What can I do?” Royal grips my shoulder with one hand and has the other on my back. “Don’t fuckin’ check out on me.” His breaths are heavy now, too, and he uses his brute strength to wrench me around to look at him, eyes flashing as they pierce mine, searching out answers I can’t ever share. “Don’t,” he rasps.
I try to break free of his hold, and we end up wrestling for dominance. Our bodies clash together. Once. Then again. And again. His heated skin on mine makes my brain turn to mush. I inhale deeply, taking in his woodsy cologne. Liquid heat races through my veins, and my jaw clenches hard as my dick awakens like a raging beast. It juts outward, stabbing into his hip as we grapple. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I’m buck naked, and hell, this is one part fucking fighting match, one part foreplay. With a grunt, he gets a hold of me, yanking me hard against him. Adrenaline crashes through me, my body raging. I let out a frustrated groan, gripping the back of his neck and glaring at him with a snarl on my lips. Lust claws at me from the inside out. He’s tearing me to shreds.
My mouth claims his in a brutal kiss. I set out to bruise and hurt and make him see he can’t help me. No one can. But he doesn’t seem to care. He comes back at me with intensity, wickedly licking every square inch of my mouth. Heat curls like a fire flickering to life between us, and I groan as he pulls back and bites down on my lip. Grabbing my ass and yanking me close, he lines up our cocks in a way that is wholly sinful and makes my erection even harder.
His mouth. His fucking mouth. He goes from biting my lip to sucking on it, all while his eyes pierce mine, letting me know he means business. Finally, he releases me with a wet pop. My heart thrums hard in my chest. “I—” I don’t know what I mean to say, but what comes out isn’t what I was expecting. “Help me.” My chest jerks. “Make it all stop. I need?—”
And before I can finish, Royal dips his head to the side of my neck, moaning as he slides his tongue over my skin. His hands are everywhere, roaming over the expanse of my back before sliding down the sides of my torso. It’s that slow, smooth movement and a firm grip that has my legs weak. He only stops to allow his thumb to flick over my slit and to toy with my piercings. I drop my head back and moan, the sound a mixture of heady need and unparalleled want.
“That’s it. Forget about every-fucking-thing else. The only thing I want you focused on is me and the inferno raging between us.” Royal’s words choke from him, reminding me of how new he is to this.
My exhale is harsh. Audible. I grip the hair at the back of his head and kiss him the only way I know how. Fervently. Passionately. Fiercely spilling desire from my mouth into his. There’s no stopping my hips once I begin to fuck his hand. It feels too fucking amazing, and part of the rush I’m getting is the fact that it’s Royal. A guy who I never would have thought would be interested in this. But a guy who is completely and wholly into me at this very second. How much more is he ready for? Fuuuck. Please be ready for me. I need this.
“Get on the bed,” he mumbles, pushing me backward. The edge hits the back of my thighs and my body folds, landing on the mattress. Seeing the glint in his eyes, I move back farther, pull my legs up, and drop them open.
Fully exposed with my dick at full attention, I wait. Wondering what he’s going to do, I hope he’ll be the one who can take me away from the awful nightmare I’m living.
He stalks toward me, eyes trailing over my body, and I swear to fuck, it’s like he’s touching me. The sensual slide of his gaze over my dick and ass is making liquid fire shoot through my veins, and I imagine what it’ll be like when he finally decides to give in. My cock twitches with longing, jutting obscenely from my groin, drops of pre-cum leaking steadily from the tip.
Like a moth to a flame, Royal climbs onto the bed, situating himself on his knees between my spread legs. His eyes are locked on my cock, and all I want to do is grab him and rut against him like a beast. Or… he can fuck me. Surprise washes over me, the idea filling my head, and I pause, entertaining the thought. I’d let him fuck me.
Instead of the other shit that’s been in my head, a dirty slideshow of what it would be like to feel his hot, hard cock thrust inside me for the first time rushes through my mind. The mental images I conjure won’t have anything on the actual act. To have a cock filling me up. I shudder at the thought as an allover flush sweeps through my body, heat prickling everywhere. “Have you looked your fill yet? Because I need you to fucking touch me.”
After several gulping breaths, where I watch Royal’s muscular chest expand with air before he harshly pushes it back out, he skims his palms along my inner thighs. I know he’s feeling the dusting of hair on them, which was foreign to me at first in a bed partner, too, so I get his curiosity. But then, the more Beckham and I fucked around, the more I appreciated the difference between men and women. I fucking love both for different reasons. Seems like maybe he’s having some of the same thoughts. Men are just different, rougher with each other, and it’s such a fucking turn on to me. And it’s what I need in this moment.
A groan rips from Royal’s throat as he reaches out to brush his fingertips over my balls, then down to touch the sensitive skin of my taint with the pad of his thumb. He touches it leisurely, like we have all night—which we actually do, if we want it.
Oh, god. The way he’s applying pressure—rubbing—it’s driving me insane. He bites down on his lip, still studying me as my mouth goes slack at the way he’s making me feel. “Fuck yes, Wild. Feel good?”
Hardly able to find my words, I nod and gasp out, “Y-yes.”
“You’re about to be even better. Gonna make you moan.” Royal’s hand wraps around my dick again, working me into a frenzy until I’m panting. Dying for him.
Royal’s gaze is pinned on my face, watching my every reaction to what he’s doing.
My breath billows from between my lips as my heart rate accelerates.
“Whaddaya need?”
I blink hard, my entire body rioting with every word and every touch. My voice raspy, I gasp out, “I need more. Need you.”
Royal chews on the corner of his lip for only a second before he pauses his ministrations to brace himself over me, trailing his fingertips up my torso before touching two to my lips. “Suck on them for me.” I do what he asks more quickly than I knew I ever would, dropping my jaw open and taking his fingers between my lips. He pumps them into my mouth like he’s fucking it with them, and I respond by sucking hard and laving over them with my tongue. Tasting his skin does something to me, and my dick jolts, releasing more pre-cum. It’s dripping down my dick and onto my lower abdomen, into a pool of lust. My stomach dips as he grits out, “Good boy.” His jaw is tight as he eases back again, taking my dick in one hand, the lubrication from the pre-cum making me groan and clench my teeth.
Those spit-wet fingers? They move to my ass and glide sensually around and around, making me bite back words until the tip of one finger finally enters me. My breath stutters, all the air exiting my lungs as I stare up at Royal, heat blooming inside me and spreading throughout my body. After several seconds, I finally draw in a partial breath but immediately exhale again. With his gaze still steady on my face, he whispers, “Can you take more?”
I swallow hard. “Go deeper.” My voice is rough, practically unrecognizable to me. But it is me, taking Royal’s finger up my ass. I grunt as his fingertip brushes a spot inside me that lights me right the fuck up, and I practically come off the bed as my dick hardens with a jerk. “Oh, god. Fuck.” I gasp again and again as he moves his fingers in a lazy, circular motion.
“I wanna be inside you when you come.” His breathing is growing heavier now, too. “We’ve got no fucking lube. Up. Prop yourself on your elbows.” He eases his fingers from me, then proceeds to crawl forward at the same time as I quickly change positions. “Suck on my dick. Get me all wet so I can make you feel good.”
“Fuck, yes. Come closer,” I growl, eyeing his long, thick cock as he settles in front of me. He uses one finger on my chin to open my mouth before he slips the tip inside.
He grunts, his body doing an allover shudder. “Motherfucker,” he hisses before I give him a wicked grin, swirling my tongue around his dick. I seal my lips around it and suck. This time, it’s his head that drops back as his legs widen and his hips thrust slowly forward. My heart is on a rampage, thrashing about in my chest cavity as he fucks my mouth in leisurely strokes. The taste of his pre-cum on my tongue has bombs going off inside me, one detonating after another until all I can think about is how fucking sexy he is pumping my mouth full of his cock. One glance down at me taking him like this, and his eyes glaze over with lust.
I can’t seem to control the way my dick is dripping pre-cum everywhere. My head buzzes with the taste, scent, and sound of Royal. Fuck.
He slicks his tongue over his lower lip, looking like he might be ready to eat me alive. Breathing hard, he pulls out of my mouth, throwing his leg over me so he’s at my side. “Up. You’re going to flip the fuck over.”
I move quickly, but I don’t immediately do what he says. Instead, I kneel on the bed, the same way he is. Our cocks bob between us, touching with every exhaled breath. He grabs me by the back of the neck and seals our mouths together, and our tongues do battle. Both of us panting, he wrenches away from my kiss-swollen lips only to reach between us and take my dick in his hand. He grunts, wiping the pre-cum from my skin and spreading it over the head of his cock. “You heard me. All fours. Ass in the air, Emory.” He juts his chin, and tonight, I don’t care. I will follow whatever command he gives me. It’s what I need. I wait with bated breath as he positions himself behind me. “Fuck. Look at this ass. All that training.” He grips my cheeks, separating them.
I know he’s looking at me. At where he’s about to put his dick. I drop to my elbows, arching my back, and giving him a better fucking view. “Let’s go, Kaplan. Stop fucking around.”
A second later something wet hits the top of my crack and rolls. Then more. More spit. “Fuuuck.” Something about it makes me want to blow my load before we can even give this a try. A finger, slick with spit and pre-cum presses against my hole, then slips inside. “Oh, god. Fuck me.”
“No, baby,” he grits out, “just me.” He works his finger in and out a few times before spitting again and easing the second finger inside.
I groan, my jaw clenching, but I push back against it, a whirlwind of sensation smacking me for a loop when his digits sink deeper. I stutter a bunch of unintelligible words. The funny part is, I don’t even know what I meant to say. And then I’m further yanked from coherent thought when those fingers vanish and a fat cock head replaces it. It’s wet, and the front seems slick with pre-cum. I exhale hard, pushing back against him. Letting out a small gasp, I stop with him just inside my body.
“Fucking fuck, Wilder.” Behind me, Royal’s fingers are threatening to make imprints on my hips with the tightness of his grip on me. I can feel him trembling back there. “Can I move at all?” The sound of him spitting onto his cock again reaches me as he mutters, “Don’t want to hurt you.”
My teeth clench at the unfamiliar feelings streaking through me. It’s all foreign to me, and Royal has a thick fucking cock. “I’m okay.” I groan as his dick gives a hearty twitch that I can feel on the inside. Sweat pops out on my back, and my dick steadily drips more pre-cum. “Motherfucker,” I grit out. “I need this. You better keep fucking going. Need you.”