THIRTY-ONE
I exhale,totally unprepared to return to TZE. I know it’s a reaction to the vulnerability I’d felt while living here, having had someone sneak into my room while I was alone and afraid. It’d shaken me to my core.
I would have thought I’d feel similarly in my own home or SIN, knowing someone had come after us in those places, too, but that’s never been the case, because I wasn’t alone. A surge of warmth moves through my body. All I feel is safe and cared for by the three men in my life. Each of them has proven they’ll always do what they think is right, no matter if it takes them into some morally gray territory. This leads me to believe this absolute truth—these brutal boys would go to great lengths to make sure no one lays a finger on me. They radiate touch-her-and-die vibes. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, they would follow through if necessary.
So, here I am, back where it all began, because the sisters of TZE are having a memorial service for Freya this evening. Wilder and Beckham had come back to the house in time to help Royal with Chase so that I could attend this event. They’d mentioned that SIN was relatively quiet last night, especially for a Friday night, and they didn’t see any reason why TZE would be any different tonight.
As I climb the stairs to the big porch, my stomach rolls over uncomfortably, gurgling with apprehension. The desire to skip out is strong, but it’d look awful if I did. Freya was my big sister and all. I work my jaw back and forth. No matter, of course, that she’d been sneaking into my room. That much I’m sure of. Had she left me those awful photos? Texted Royal on that burner phone Cassie mentioned? Written the final note on the mirror in my bathroom? Not that the cops have said a damn word about that or the key they found, so who the fuck knows what else she was responsible for. My heart rate picks up, and my hands go clammy. I wipe them on the skirt of my navy-blue sundress, hoping to blend in at this service. Show up. Pay my begrudging respects. Leave. That’s all I have to do. I wanna do this and then get the fuck outta here, because the more I think about it, the worse about that girl I feel. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I let myself inside.
“Echo! Wow, I wasn’t sure if you’d make it.” Shani rushes toward me, giving me a quick yet awkward hug. A tentative smile spreads across her face. “How have you been?”
For about the tenth time since Wilder dropped me off earlier, I release a huge sigh. “I’m— You know. It’s been weird, right?” Surely she’ll understand that.
She winces, but we don’t have time to discuss anything further, thank goodness, because Cassie hurries toward us. “Echo, can I talk to you for a sec? I was going to text, but then I figured it’d be just as easy to talk to you while you were here today.” She pushes her glasses up on her nose and jerks her head in the direction of the small office she has at the front of the house, which is on the opposite corridor of my room.
I give Shani an apologetic smile, then turn to follow Cassie. “I guess I’m glad I came a little early.”
“I’m glad you came, period. This has been such a difficult time for all of us, but I know it’s been especially rough for you.” She closes the door as we enter the room, and she gestures that I should sit. She doesn’t take a seat herself, though, but simply props herself against the dark wood desk. “First, I hope you’re doing okay. It’s been a week, and it feels like a million years since I’ve seen you.”
“I’m good.” I grit my teeth. “You know, all things considered. They didn’t let us know about the key or the burner phone you mentioned, by the way.” I’m curious as to what she has to tell me now, because I would have thought the information she relayed about Freya would be as bad as it could get.
“I kinda assumed they wouldn’t say anything, investigation and all. But maybe they’re keeping her family in the loop.” Her head bobs as she studies me. “So, there are two things I wanted to talk to you about. First, I know you’d been staying over at SIN before all hell broke loose, and I didn’t really expect you to come back here after we got the all clear—but I wanted to make sure you’re officially moving out, because if you are, I was hoping it would be okay if we packed up the rest of your stuff to empty the room. We have a couple transfer students coming in, but not until second semester, so it’s no real hurry, and we can bring your things wherever you want, no problem,” Cassie finishes in a huff with a flourish of her hand.
I blink. “Oh.” That was unexpected, but I don’t quite know why, as she’s absolutely correct. My mouth holds the O as I stare at her. It hadn’t occurred to me that they’d want me to move out of my room, but I guess it should have. “I?—”
Cassie puts her hands up to the sides of her face. “Oh, god. I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Shoot, I should have figured with your mom being a sister and all that this place might be special to you, even if you did have some trouble here.”
My brows shoot up, and I hold a hand up. “No actually, it’s fine. You caught me off guard, but you’re right. I’m sorry for not thinking about moving my stuff sooner.”
She gives me an awkward smile. “Well, it’s not like we’ve been able to get in all week, anyway, so don’t worry about it.”
“Right.” I return her smile with a clenched one of my own.
There’s an uncomfortable silence, and Cassie fidgets through most of it, looking down at her hands. Clearing her throat, she blows out a breath. “So, that second thing I wanted to tell you?—”
Oh boy. Here it comes.
“I actually don’t know how to tell you this, except to say it. You know how Freya helped me with the cage girl selections that first week?” At my slight nod, she continues, “Well, she was in charge every week, the only one ever to really touch the box. Anyway, at the meeting this morning, we also decided to go ahead and send a girl for tomorrow night’s fight.” The one Royal is fighting against Bear. “You know, we figured it might help us if we try to regain some normalcy around here once the memorial is over today.” Where is she going with this? I sure as hell do not want to be in on this, so I hope they didn’t pull my name again. “And… well, when we went to select someone for tomorrow night, I discovered that every single piece of paper in the box had your name on it.”
Holy. Shit. My mouth goes dry, and my brain ticks around horribly, at a loss for what the fuck is happening. “Okay, that’s weird. So… there was no way I wasn’t going to be selected that first time. What kind of game was Freya playing?” I suck in a breath. “Sorry, I know we’re celebrating her life today. But?—”
“Don’t worry. We thought it was really weird, too. Savannah and Ireland had a complete conniption fit. In fact, Ireland demanded to be the cage girl tomorrow because she claimed she was”—Cassie pauses to throw up some air quotes—“‘most deserving, and obviously our selection process is shit.’”
“Um, sorry. Okay—” I exhale hard, bringing my hands to my cheeks. I’m shaking. Badly. “I need to wrap my head around this. Thank you for telling me, though. That’s certainly not anything I was expecting. And a really bizarre thing for her to do.”
Cassie shakes her head. “I thought so, too, but some of the girls said maybe she just really wanted her little sister to be the cage girl.” She glances down at her Apple Watch and gestures to the door. “Let me know if you want to discuss it further. Right now, though, we’re due out back on the lawn for the memorial.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m going to say it again, even though I know it’s not my fault. I’m so fucking sorry for everything. I don’t know what’s happening. Or why.”
I give a little shrug, not wanting her to know just how thrown I am. Why the hell would Freya have done that? Forced me into being Royal’s cage girl. Abandoned me at the warehouse after it was over. She wasn’t looking out for me at all, but we already knew that. Hadn’t been there earlier that weekend for the bonfire either. But… my mind clicks around and around, searching for why Freya would have targeted me the way she seems to have, but I still come up empty. Dammit. What am I missing?
I wander outside, falling in with the rest of the sisterhood. I smile and say hello to a few of the girls. Christine and Samantha are together, as usual, whispering away to each other. Jennifer has an arm around Allie, who seems to be having a tough time with all this.
The backyard is set up much like it had been during the Bid Day brunch, with tables and chairs set up for everyone. There’s also a small buffet with assorted cookies and little sandwiches. I might have been interested in it if my stomach weren’t feeling so upset over what Cassie just told me.
There’s a crowd over near a display that’s been set up… photos, I think. I get an odd, sinking feeling. I should take a look. But no way am I going over there right now. Ireland and Savannah are there, rather loudly retelling the story of how they’d been talking to Freya and Zane right before they must have been killed.
Sure, ladies. Because that’s what’s important here—the fact that you may have been the last to speak to them before they died. Bile rises to the back of my throat as a vivid image of Freya’s and Zane’s nude, blood-splattered bodies lying so still in the middle of Beckham’s bed hits me out of nowhere. Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, all I can do is breathe.
“That Echo girl over there? She’s the one who discovered the bodies. Along with some of the guys from SIN.” My eyes pop back open, but I can’t quite tell who said that, because there’s a growing group huddled in front of the photos. My chest clenches, and I stumble, unsteady as I grip the back of one of the chairs.
“Maybe you should sit down, Echo.” Cassie appears at my side out of nowhere. Her hand is firm but gentle on my shoulder, and she pulls out the chair I’d been gripping and urges me into it. “It’ll be over soon. I won’t blame you if you leave as soon as we say a few words. Don’t feel like you need to subject yourself to this any more than you have to. I know it’s upsetting.”
I clutch at her arm, feeling sick again. “You don’t expect me to say anything, do you?”
She shakes her head. “No. No, sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I wouldn’t put you through that.”
I swallow down the vomit at the back of my throat. “Okay. Thank you.” I exhale in a slow, steady stream. “I’m fine.” She gives me a wary look, and I shake my head. “Promise.”
A moment later, Shani sits down beside me and pats my back, then Christine, Samantha, and Jennifer fill the rest of the seats at our table, and all the girls who’d been gathered in front of the photo display disperse.
Once everyone is settled, Cassie gets our attention and says a few things that I don’t even pay attention to because all the blood in my body is whooshing through my head with the furious beats of my heart. I blink, trying to pay attention as some girl I haven’t ever seen before gets up and introduces herself as Halee, Freya’s TZE big sister. I close my eyes and try to breathe for several counts of ten while she talks about how much fun it had been getting to know Freya.
Panic is rising in me, though, and I don’t know if I can stop it. I don’t have a firm grasp on why I feel this way, except there are so many photos of Freya and her friends and family over there. It’s like she’s looking directly at me in every single one. I grip the sides of my chair and will myself to get through this. The urge to jump up and closely examine the photos is nearly overwhelming.
Finally, Cassie and Halee finish their tribute, and it’s as if the entire TZE sisterhood breathes a sigh of relief. Many of the girls gather around the alumni present, and others get food and drinks to chat over.
Shani lays a hand on my forearm. “Can I get you anything? I’m going to check out the refreshment table.”
“N-no. I’m not staying long. Thank you, though.” Slowly, I rise from the seat and make my way around the tables. I look at the information provided. Freya Golden, survived by her parents, Krista and Jeremiah, and her brother, Smith.
My heart begins to race. Wait. Smith? I chew on my lip as I look frantically at the photos. Freya is in all of them, smiling back at me, dark hair and eyes that I’d come to be familiar with, even though she wasn’t around much. My teeth scrape over my bottom lip, and I chew on it as I try to jog my memory. Feeling sicker than ever, my gaze travels to the other photos. There are a ton of them with Freya and a girl. A girl I feel like I should definitely recognize. My throat goes dry as I study their happy smiles. She’s in photo after photo with Freya. Like they’re best friends.
A chill runs down my spine as my eyes dart to a small bit of wording under a photo that appears to have been taken at a school dance. Cypress Pointe Prep. The rival elite academy in the area. The kids from Cypress Pointe always used to get together with those from Kingston Academy for our big bonfire bashes, complete with those stupid fucking car races.
I don’t realize that anyone’s near me until Savannah taps the family photo. “That’s her twin. He goes here, too. I feel so bad for him.”
Oh, fuck. Wait. Her brother. Smith. Smith Golden. The other driver in the car accident that changed all of our lives forever. And the girl. Oh my god. My entire body jerks, and I step backward. Oh my god. Oh, fuck. I stare at the board of photos that tells the story of Freya’s life breathing hard. Because now, some of the puzzle pieces slot into place.
This girl in all the photos with Freya… I think it’s Alicia.