Chapter 20
CHAPTER
TWENTY
WILDE
I stay focused. Every day, I have my list, and I get to work.
Fixing fences and repairing houses, checking the land for any areas that are prone to fires once the peak of summer hits.
I train in the mornings, and late afternoons, I visit the Cutty and try to be social.
I work myself to exhaustion until it’s late, and the only things I want to do are eat and pass out.
So far, it’s working for me.
But it’s only been three days, and there’s no way this is sustainable.
I stop my truck along the side of my house, tired from a long day helping the Raylons with the extra bedroom they’re adding to their place.
JJ has just turned fourteen, and he’s past old enough to have his own room, so Rooney, Ziggy, and I lent Paul and Arleen a hand with getting the frame built properly.
It was on the tip of my tongue, so many times, to ask Gracie to make me another pot like the one Hudson broke.
She’s always been such a sweet kid, but asking for a gift doesn’t feel the same.
So I’m left to stare at that empty place on the table where it should still be while I deal with all these mixed feelings Hudson brings out in me.
I climb out of my truck, cursing that it’s still too early for bed. The sun is high enough that I have a few hours to fill before I can realistically sleep, and for half a second, I debate jumping back in the cab and heading to the ridge that overlooks Old End.
But I’m not going to give in to that temptation because I know exactly two things will happen.
One, I’ll remember every moment of the night I’m trying to block from my memories, and two, that curdling anger and frustration at them selling off the town will grow.
There’s no winning at this. Sex was temporary relief from the irritation Hudson fills me with, but that can only put it off for so long.
Because he’s set on destroying my home, and that’s not something I can forgive.
I lock my truck—not something I ever do—because it gives a strong signal to myself that I’m not going anywhere else tonight. There’s a flurry of birds in the trees overhead, a breeze almost strong enough to keep the spring heat away, but otherwise, everything is quiet and still.
Like it should be.
I throw a quick look out at my house to make sure no one is lurking inside, and then I strip off my shirt and head for the swimming hole. It’s one of the reasons I decided to build my home here. It’s about a hundred yards away, through the trees, and where I like to unwind after a long day.
The swimming hole has craggy rocks around three sides, with trees towering over it. The sun is low enough that it’s not hitting the water anymore, but I know from experience that it’ll be warm from the day.
A steady trickle of water falling from rock bounces around the small space, and I check that there’s no wildlife hanging around before I strip off. The last thing I want is a bear taking a drink while my dick is out.
It doesn’t matter how attractive Hudson is; I’ll never understand someone like him.
I stride deep into the water, letting myself feel every drop, every shift in the breeze, every rock under my feet.
This, right here, is the real prize. It’s not money or success.
It’s this. Taking in the surroundings and appreciating how incredible it is.
I dive under the surface, cutting myself off from everything as I swim to the other side.
In a lot of ways, I feel sorry for the people who live in big cities and don’t know what they’re missing out on.
I never did. And it shouldn’t have taken something traumatic for me to understand what the difference is between living and existing.
Living will always be a work in progress, but I’m getting better at it.
Movement catches my eye up on the shore, and my heart rate spikes as I see Hudson pause by the place I left my pants. His gaze flicks from them to me, and like he’s making up his mind, he strips off his shirt.
I’m treated to an eyeful of his body, chest and torso a road map of pinks and browns as he heals from his accident.
“Hey,” he says, lifting his voice enough for me to hear him. “Didn’t know there was a dress code.”
Then he shoves his shorts and underwear down in one.
Heat rolls over my head and passes south.
I’d been careful not to look too closely the other night, but as Hudson walks lazily to the water, there’s nothing stopping me this time.
You’d think common sense would do its part and catch up, but it’s apparently deserted me as I drink in everything from Hudson’s broad shoulders to his trim waist, slightly eager cock, and thick, long legs.
He kicks at the water, sending it in an arc across the surface.
I’m already moving slowly closer before I tell myself to stop .
“What are you doing here?”
“Thought you might like to admire your hard work,” he says, dragging his hand over the line of bruises on his inner thigh. “I know I have been.”
I chew back my reply, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing how sexy they are.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me this was here? It’s awesome. I’m going to have to bring my brothers.”
“No.”
Those permanently curled lips part in glee. “You want to keep it our little secret, huh?”
“No. Only Wenders get to use the pool. Get out.”
Instead of getting out, he surprises no one by walking in deeper. I watch the exact moment his dick disappears from sight and try not to feel disappointed.
“What’s a Wender?”
“Someone who lives in Wilde’s End.”
“I live here,” he points out. “And I own the place. Does that make me King Wender?”
“Nope. Still makes you a pain in my ass.”
He laughs and strides closer. “Are you ever not grumpy?”
“Always. When you’re not around.” I move to the side, intending to go around him and leave, but Hudson drifts casually back in front of me. “Move.”
“I am moving.”
“Out of my way.”
Hudson only ducks his head under the water and comes back up, flicking the wet blond strands back from his face.
He’s wearing his cracked sunglasses, and droplets dot the bronzed lenses above that perpetually mocking smile.
Light from the water reflects back onto his face, and out here, his features are even sharper.
The discoloration on his skin, the line of moles by his left eyebrow, the way his top lip is a shade darker than the bottom.
Fuck, I hate how good-looking he is.
“Why are you here?”
He splashes me, and I blink the water out of my eyes in shock. “ Why are you so obsessed with that question? I followed you here. Like I follow you everywhere. Just assume that from now on and move on.”
“Fine. Then why are you following me?”
“What else am I supposed to do when you’re avoiding me?”
“Take the hint?”
A small heh parts his teeth. “Nah. Not me.”
“You’re probably fucking with your stitches,” I point out, trying to find an excuse to put distance between us.
Hudson straightens out of the water and lifts his arm, showing off the jagged scar on his midsection. “I already went and saw the good doctor. I’m all cleared for skinny-dipping with you.”
“There’s no way he said those words.”
“Fine. Not exactly.” He pauses for a long moment. “He’s the one who told me where you’d be Saturday night.”
“Good. Now I know who to murder.”
The bastard splashes me again. “We’ve covered that already. You’re a kitten.”
What the fuck is wrong with him? “A kitten ? I’ve been through more shit than you’d ever imagine. You think it’s fun to taunt me and get me worked up when you’re here threatening my whole fucking world?” A scowl ripples over my face. “ Kitten .”
He drifts closer, and I can feel his eyes on my face. “I do think it’s fun. Believe it or not, my life hasn’t been all peaches either. My brothers think I’m fucked-up. Especially for sleeping with you.”
“You told them? ”
“Didn’t see a reason not to.”
My anger has moved higher, making my neck feel uncomfortably hot and tight. “I don’t want anyone knowing about that.”
“Too late.”
I have to remind myself that I can’t drown the guy. “Do you go out of your way to be the single most annoying human to exist?”
“Sometimes. I really don’t know what you’re so worked up about though. It’s not like it won’t happen again.”
“There is no fucking way it’s happening again.” The words are out before I can stop them, and I see the exact moment Hudson recognizes my challenge.
“So if I tell you that you have my full permission to fuck me anytime and anywhere you wanted, that would mean nothing to you?”
The way my gut swims with those words is ridiculous.
I don’t want to be reacting to him this way, but with that permission, with Hudson only a foot in front of me, completely naked, my cock is already hardening.
It’s not getting away with this twice though, and at least for right now, I’m still in control of myself.
“I’d have to want it for it to mean anything. ”
“Pity.” He backs up a bit. “Lucky I still have Sutton back home, then.”
That floating in my gut tightens. “ Who ?”
“My ex. Kinda ex. He was more than a booty call, but we weren’t exclusive. They really should come up with a name for that.”
“I think it’s called dating.” But what would I know? I don’t do it. The only person I know who actively does is Queenie, and the stories I’ve heard from her are more than enough to know I never want to get involved in any of that .
“Either way, it doesn’t matter. If I text him, he’ll come. Then we’ll both come. Catch my drift?”
My jaw is tense when I say, “Have fun with him, then.”
“Not him. Sutton . Two T s. Best fuck I ever had.”
Before he can move any further, before I’ve ever had a chance to think it through, my hand flies out and grabs his neck. The water makes it easy to drag him closer. So close that if I were breathing any deeper, our chests would probably touch.
“I’m the best fuck you ever had. Don’t pretend like you weren’t begging me.”
This close, I can make out the shape of his eyes behind the sunglasses. “I was horny. I beg when I’m horny. That has nothing to do with you.”
“I know what you’re trying to do, and it isn’t going to work.”
His pink tongue drags over his bottom lip, and he tilts his head a little higher, showing off where I have hold of him. “Isn’t it?”
“Go and fuck Sutter?—”
“Sutton—”
“I don’t care. Because I know the entire time he’s with you, you’re going to be thinking about me. That’s the reason you followed me out here. But I’m not going to give you what you want.”
“What we want.”
I hate that he doesn’t know when to shut up because right at that moment, his leg brushes against my cock underwater, which tells him exactly how hard I am.
There’s no point denying the obvious, so I use a different tactic. “I’m used to not having what I want. Can’t say the same for you, city boy.”
“You’re right. Because I always get what I want, and you’re not going to be an exception.”