Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TRIPP
D ixie has plagued my mind in the few days since that night. Small accidental finger brushes, a few longing stares but we’ve never had a moment alone since. I could have easily followed her up to her room, before dragging her back into mine, but I didn’t. I stayed away. I took myself back out onto the porch with a glass of whiskey to keep me warm as I sat in the rocker and watched the stars.
“Right,” Riggs claps his hands together, wincing at the loud sound and Pacey moans, letting his head fall as it hits the breakfast bar with a thud. “Ow.”
“It's far too early for this, my head is pounding,” I groan as I nurse a cup of coffee. We decided to hit The Boot last night to try and hash out the last few details before the funeral.
“And this is why we don't drink on school nights, children,” Riggs smirks, but scolding us at the same time.
“Idiot,” I shake my head, my hand pressed to my forehead. My head is pounding.
“We need to be switched on, we're not going to be welcome at Clay's funeral, but we need to go. We need to show the town that we're not going to cower away. Yes, Clay died on our land, but we did not kill him.”
Pacey sighs, his eyes darting to the door once he sees Dixie standing there holding Lainey.
“Carry on,” I grit, eyes moving from Pacey and nodding for Dixie to come in. She walks in but keeps her head down, cautious almost.
“Is there any word on Austin showing his face?” Riggs turns his attention to Pacey and he just sits tall, eyes cast down as he puffs his cheeks out.
“He hasn't said.”
“I think he should go,” Dixie turns around after placing Lainey in her highchair, my mom waltzing through and taking over whilst ushering Dixie to sit down next to us.
“And why's that darlin'?” Riggs raises a brow, dragging his own stool out to take a seat, boyish grin tugging at his lips.
“Because if you say he isn't guilty of killing Clay, then by him going surely it would work in his favour?” her blue eyes bounce around the room and my heart drops.
“But then it's like leading a sheep to a pack of wolves,” Pacey eyes her, and she sits a little taller.
“But are you shepherds going to leave him alone with the wolves?” she counters back, and I hear my mom snigger softly.
“No,” he tightens his lips as he shuffles in his seat.
“So, I think he should go.”
Silence fizzles around the table, eyes bouncing between all of us when we hear my dad, “I agree with Dixie. We all go. We're united and we won't let one of our own take the blame for something he didn't do.”
Riggs smirk grows wider, whistling through his teeth.
“Someone better go and get Austin then,” he chuckles.
“Leave that to me,” my dad says as he reaches for his cowboy hat and walks out the door before even giving us a chance to argue with him.
“Where is the wake?” I ask, bringing my cup to my lips and taking a mouthful just as my mom places a fresh coffee down in front of Dixie.
“Across town, some bar called Mules,” Pacey chirps up.
“Never heard of it.”
“Probably run by them or something,” he shrugs a shoulder up.
“Mules is my dad's bar,” Dixie slips out as if it’s not a big deal and all eyes are on hers. “Or was, still is? I don’t know,” she lets out a shallow breath.
“Your dad? He left town years ago didn’t he?” I ask, a little confused by her admission.
“He did... unless he is back?” and I see the fear in her eyes.
“But then if he abandoned it, maybe the Attaways took it over?” Riggs suggests and now it's his turn to have all eyes on him.
“Maybe…” I throw out into the conversation because I am to focused on Dixie again. Her eyes drop from Riggs’ as she plays with the delicate gold chain around her neck.
“Looks like we're going to the wake as well,” Riggs rubs his hands together before standing. “I'll be back at noon, we will ride down to the church,” and with that he walks out the back door.
Pacey and I nod as we push ourselves from the table and place our cups in the sink.
“Mom, will you ride down with us or take a truck?” Pacey asks and I hover close to Dixie.
“I was going to offer to stay home with Lainey, a funeral is no place for a baby,” her eyes slice from Pacey's to Dixie and she gives my mom a soft nod. “Your dad will ride down with you,” she smiles at Pacey, cupping his cheek as she rubs her thumb across it. “Take your guns, you never quite know what will happen once you're in that church.”
I swallow the lump that forms in my throat.
I have no idea who is going to be inside that church. Sure, we have Clay's brothers, uncles, cousins... but he was also in with the big boys from the city.
“I don't think I can go,” Dixie whispers beside me and I turn to look at her, crouching down so I am level with her.
“Why not?” I whisper, eyes focused on her ocean blues.
Her lips part to speak but she rolls them instead, shaking her head from side to side as I watch her eyes well. She pushes from the table and disappears upstairs.
I stand, eyes roaming between Pacey and my mom, waiting for one of them to tell me to follow her.
My mom rolls her eyes and I take that as my cue. Turning, I climb the stairs two at a time and stop outside her bedroom. Lifting my hand, I curl my index finger and hover it over the wooden door. Inhaling heavily, I knock softly.
She doesn't answer.
I knock again then push down the handle of the door, popping my head around the doorframe. And that's when I see her. Sitting at the edge of her bed. Tears soaking her cheeks, hands buried into the lap of her pretty white nightdress.
“Talk to me,” I usher softly, not stepping into her room until she asks me.
Her glistening eyes meet mine, and I watch as she sucks in a breath, bottom lip trembling.
I have no idea what the hell is going on, but what I do know is I don't like seeing her upset.
“Can I...” I pause for a moment as I push the door a little wider and she gives me a nod. Slowly stepping into her room, it's cosy. It's always just been a spare room with a single bed. Sage green walls, cream carpet, cream-stained oak furniture and a little lamp.
Sitting next to her, I place my own hands in my lap and we sit in silence.
She sniffles beside me and my heart aches.
“What’s going on Dix…” I trail off as her watery blue eyes meet mine.
“I can’t do it.”
“The funeral?” I ask stupidly, but I want her to say the words out loud, I want to hear it come from her lips.
She nods.
“Why? What’s changed… wasn’t that what you were coming back for?” and I hear the way her breath trembles on her intake, fresh tears streaming down her face, and she nods, eyes cast down into her lap as she picks the skin around her nailbed.
“There is so much you don’t know…” she whispers.
“Then tell me,” I reach my hand across, grabbing her chin softly and turning her head to face me. “I have nowhere else to go.”
That was a lie.
I had the funeral to go to.
But in this moment, she was more important than the funeral.
“That’s a lie,” she half laughs, half chokes out a sob.
“Okay, fine, but still, I’m not going anywhere,” my thumb pad brushes against her cheek, catching a tear that rolls from her beautiful eyes.
“When I left town, I was signed by a guy called Lucian.”
I nod. I have no idea who Lucian is but still, I find myself nodding as if I do.
“He promised me the world; the tours, the fame, the fortune—” she stutters.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispers, “but after a few months, things started to change. I was chained to him at every moment, I only done the shows he wanted me to, only toured where he said… and then Clay turned up.” She sniffles.
I stay mute for just a moment. I want her to keep speaking. I don’t want her to stop.
“He seemed so kind, he and Lucian were friends and that’s when I was thrown into a whole new world. I was taken to the city, to be wined and dined and shared amongst friends,” she swallows, and I see the way her throat bobs up and down, eyes glistening.
“Until one day he didn’t want to share anymore. Lucian had got all he wanted from me and my singing career begun dying a slow and painful death. That’s when Clay swooped me up, cocooning me into this false pretence of safety. He was bored within a few weeks, the visits from wherever he was coming from were getting less and less and then I found out I was pregnant with Lainey. I knew she was his. I hadn’t been with anyone apart from Clay at that point. He was pissed, I told him I didn’t want him in mine or the baby’s life, but thought he had a right to know so if he decided down the line he wanted to meet her, he knew about her.”
She shudders as she intakes a deep breath.
“After a couple of months, he turned up telling me he wanted to know his daughter. Wanted to be just her dad though and anything romantic between me and him was long gone. He said he would be back a little more as he had business to attend to with the big suits and that’s the night I overheard him talking about his plans for the land, the ranches, the empty gold mines…”
I roll my lips.
“I had no idea what they were going on about, but then it clicked. They were talking about the old mines at the top of the creek... the ones that filter into your land... the same mines that run directly under your ranch...” her face tips up to mine and I can see the concern etched into her face. “Lucian was involved in all of this, Clay promised him a cut of whatever they made when they explored the gold mines, then Lucian heard of his death and well, the suits have pushed him out. He used me for ransom, but they didn't care. I was nothing to them, didn't mean anything. I was just Clay's baby momma,” she sighs. “Lucian told me I was never going to leave Wyoming, he had originally had plans to take us to Los Angeles, make me the star... but we both knew that was never going to happen, not now that I had Lainey. I love singing, I wanted to pursue that as a career and don't get me wrong, I was noticed, people knew who I was in Wyoming, but not here, not in LA. I would have been plankton in a sea of fishes. Single mom, down and out, broke. Lucian took everything from me, so I had to run. The only place I knew I could come back to was here... then with Clay's funeral, it seemed like the perfect time.” I don't miss the tear that rolls down her cheek and runs off her chin, dissolving into her dress. She slowly looks at me, eyes bouncing between mine, “I came back hoping for some money; hoping to collect what Clay promised for Lainey. I didn't even think...” she pauses for a moment shaking her head from side to side. “Lucian is going to be there, and once he sees me, he will drag me back to Wyoming kicking and screaming,” and that's when she looks away from me.
My blood is boiling, and I am so fucking mad at this whole situation. The situation with Clay, the situation with her shitty manager. Old feelings chip away at the surface and the need to protect her blazes through my veins.
I push from the bed and step towards her, her eyes still cast down as if she is ashamed of what she has just told me. Gripping her chin softly, I tilt her head back to look at me and her glassy blues break my fucking heart.
“Nobody is going to get to you, nobody is going to touch you... anyone and I mean anyone lays a finger on you, I'll chop their fucking hands off and shove them up their asses.”
She blinks, her lips parting and that's when she stands in front of me, trembling hands resting on my chest, my erratic heart beating under her fingertips as I let my fingers lazily sweep her hair away from her face.
“You promise?” she whispers.
“I promise,” I breathe, just as I lower my lips to hers, softly, delicately before my tongue pushes through and everything inside of me burns like wildfire. Her hands are in my hair, mine cupped around her pretty face as our kiss deepens, as if she's all the oxygen I am allowed, kissing her is like breathing, like living... existing. Ten years of pent-up misery and heartache rolled in with protectiveness and a blazing love all mixed up and poured into this kiss.
The one kiss that ripped my heart from my chest and delicately landed in her small hands, for her to keep and protect.
And I was just praying she done just that.
Dressed in an all-black suit, white shirt and black cowboy hat and boots, I was ready to go. We knew this was going to be reckless, like playing with fire, but we all agreed that we were going.
Not only to pay our respects to a man that had died, but to also clear our name of this bullshit once and for all.
Walking across the hallway downstairs, I saw Riggs and Aspen waiting for us in the small lounge area, Riggs cradling a crystal glass of whiskey, Aspen eyeing him occasionally as Pacey joins them.
“Well, don't we look handsome,” Pacey jokes, smirking as I walk into the room and reach for my own glass of amber. I needed something to calm the nerves that were shocking me with every heartbeat that thumped in my chest.
I rolled my eyes, slipping the sleeve of my blazer up as I checked the time.
“Is Marty meeting us here?” Riggs asks, arms protectively wrapped around Aspen’s back. She wears a knee length black dress, hair pulled into a neat bun with a few loose strands framing her pretty face.
“Nah, he is going to meet us up at the church, we don't need to give the Attaways anymore reason to think he is on our side. But then what does it matter? Kelcie is in their pockets...” I take a mouthful of my drink and wince at the burn, “I am so fucking mad I stepped down so easily, thought I was doing the right thing,” I shake my head from side to side as disappointment surges through me.
“Look, what's done is done, all we can do is show up, show everyone that we're still the same group of brothers. We have our enemies; we don't need to make any more. So, with that,” Riggs turns and places his glass on the oak mantel above the fire. “We go in there,” he pauses, stepping forward as his eyes dance between me and our kid brother, Pacey, “we take our guns, but we do not be the first to pull, do you understand me? We're taking them for protection, not to start a full-blown fucking war,” his voice is stern, and me and Pacey give him a firm nod. “No one fucking draws their guns until I tell you to, no fucking fighting unless they provoke it.”
And my mom walks into the room holding Lainey at that very second.
“We don't need any more drama brought on our name, please boys...” and she doesn't just look at me and Pacey, she focuses on Riggs too. “No fighting. Be the bigger men, heads held high and walk away.”
Riggs nods.
He would never start a fight for fun, but we do need to protect ourselves. We have no idea who will be here today and just who Wallen, Clay’s brother, has on his side. His brother was killed, his dad long gone... he only had himself. The suits would be there, Wallen will want to keep this going, he will fight for the land just for his brother’s legacy. And for Lucian? Well, that cunt can rot in hell. Dixie didn't need to tell me anymore; I had already made my own mind up just how that fucker treated her over the last ten years and I am done letting it happen. She stays with me, with us.
No more running for her.
“So, we all understand?” My mom says as she stands next to Riggs and we all nod.
“Yes ma,” me and Pacey say in unison and Riggs leans down and places a kiss on her head, Lainey's wide blue eyes staring at Riggs.
He softens slightly, tilting his head to the side as he reaches out for her, and she grasps his fingers. A low rumble of a laugh courses through him and his eyes go all sparkly. Aspen steps up beside him, hand tucked under his arm as she watches the grumpy ass cowboy turn to putty in front of Lainey. I get it. I think we've all got a soft spot for her.
I hear the sound of heels clicking across the wooden floor and I turn to look over my shoulder to see Dixie. Mid length black dress, laced cuffed sleeves and heeled pumps. Long brown hair wavy and cascading over her shoulders.
She looks beautiful.
She dips her head as she slips past me and the urge to reach out and grab her just so I can hold her close is overwhelming. But I don't. I watch as she walks over to Lainey and scoops her out of my mom's arms. Lainey reaches up and places her chubby little hands over Dixie's lips just as Dixie kisses her.
“Ah man, I want one,” Riggs groans and Aspen leans into him.
“Soon big fella, soon,” she turns her face up to look at him just as he leans down and places the softest of kisses on her lips.
My eyes scope over to Dixie, and she is staring at me, all starry eyed and shit and I am desperate to take her out on a date; dancing in the parking lot under the stars and a late-night swim in the creek. Just like old times. Just like before.
The front door closes, and we all turn to see Austin, Harlow and my dad.
“Austin,” my mom breathes, walking over to him a little quicker before wrapping him in her embrace, Harlow still firmly holding onto his hand, fear burning through her eyes that if she lets him go, he will bolt like a wild mustang.
“Hey Orla,” he smiles, eyes closing for just a moment.
His dirty blonde hair is cut, tidy. He wears a matching black suit, same as me and my brothers but he doesn't have a cowboy hat.
When his eyes open, they scan over the three of us and we see the way his shoulders relax a little.
Mom steps back and only then do me and my brothers, one by one, pull him into an embrace. Just a little reminder that we will always have his back, that we will always be here for him, we will always choose him.
God didn't make him our blood relation, but he did make us family.
“Right, are we ready?” my dad asks, eyes moving between us all.
“Ready as we will ever be,” I chime as I go to open the front door, the girls walking out first, Harlow still gripping onto Austin.
“I'll take the girls and Austin in the truck, you three ride the horses down.” We nod.
My mom follows us onto the porch, leaning in and giving each one of us a kiss on the cheek.
“Be safe, I love you,” she tells each of us as we pass her and walk down to where the horses are tied up.
Steps faltering, I turn to look back towards the house and I can see the worry etched onto my mom's face and I hate that she feels like that.
Dixie kisses Lainey on the top of the head, lingering for just a moment more before passing her to my mom. I watch as she lets out a deep exhale, taking the steps slowly as she walks across the dusty floor. I wait for her and give her a look.
“You feeling okay?” I ask softly as I walk her to the truck.
She nods. But I am not convinced.
“We won't leave your side, you've got all of us. This is how we work,” I smile at her just as my dad places his hand on the small of her back. “I'll see you at the church,” and she gives me a ghost of a smile before getting into the truck.
“I'll keep them safe,” my dad says before opening his own door.
“I know,” I tip my hat towards him, “I'll see you soon.”
My heart jack hammers in my chest as I walk towards my brothers already on their horses. Footing the stirrup, I pull myself up onto Bucky's back, Riggs on Travis and Pacey on Chase.
“Ready?” Riggs asks, Travis stepping forward, tail high.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I swallow down the nerves.
“Then lets fucking go,” he kicks his horse on and me and Pacey follow across the fields and towards the church.
And for some reason, I feel like we're heading to our own funeral.