Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
DIXIE
T ucked into an armchair, I have Aspen's latest book on my lap but I'm not reading. My mind is with Tripp. My mind is on the stupid threat Lucian has now hung around my neck like a noose, and as the hours go on, I can feel it getting tighter.
Orla walks into the room and hands me a cup of cocoa, and I feel like a fraud. Both of her sons are in hospital and she is the one waiting on me. Make that make sense.
“Orla,” I sigh, taking the cup from her, “please, sit down, let me fix you some food,” I offer, a small smile pulling on my lips.
“Don't be silly,” she waves me away, shaking her head from side to side.
I lift my eyes to watch her as she potters around an already pristine living room. She hasn't slept for more than a couple of hours a night, and once she is up, she is constantly busying herself. The ranch, the house, Lainey... we've tried to step in but she shoos us away. It's her coping mechanism, I guess.
“Can I do anything?” I offer like always, but she just spins to look at me, tilting her head and giving me a lopsided smile.
“No darlin', you just enjoy your book,” she gives me a wink and then disappears out the room.
Sighing, I close the book on my lap and let my head rest onto the back of the armchair.
A moment or two passes and I roll my head around to see a tired Jorge walking through the door, kicking his boots off and reaching for the door frame as he holds himself up. He looks dishevelled and exhausted.
I push up from the sofa, stepping towards where he is standing and wrapping my fingers softly around the top of his arm, rubbing gently.
“You okay Jorge?” I ask, concern lacing my voice.
“Yes sweet girl,” he stands a little taller and gives me a smile.
“Sure?” my lip twitches at the corner.
“Sure,” he nods his head as he lifts his cowboy hat and walks across the hall to hang it up.
“I'll go down the hospital and do the night shift,” I speak a little louder, heart thrumming in my chest.
“You don't need to do that,” he sighs.
“I know I don't need to, but I want to.”
“Riggs can go with you.”
“Riggs was on last night, he is exhausted. Conrad?”
Jorge rubs his chin like he is thinking.
“Take Hudson down with you. Don't want to get Conrad mixed up in this anymore than he already is.”
I give him a shallow nod and walk into the living room to collect my belongings before climbing the stairs and grabbing a crochet blanket from the foot of my bed and a few other little things I may need. Lainey stirs behind me in her crib, and I feel an ache present itself deep inside my chest.
Leaning over her, I stroke her brown hair, soft whimpers leave her, and I just want to scoop her into my arms and run far, far away. But I couldn't.
I am too grounded here. Anchored even. Even thinking about leaving hits me right between the shoulder blades with force, winding me in an instant.
Lifting my hand from Lainey's head, I step back, clutching my bag and tossing it over my shoulder. Walking out the room, I pull it until a small gap is all there is stopping the door from hitting the doorframe.
Walking downstairs, Jorge and Orla are nowhere to be seen, but standing in the large lobby is Hudson.
“Ma'am,” he lifts his hat from his head, uncovering curly blond hair. His eyes are piercing green and his skin has a glorious sun-kissed glow to it.
“Hudson,” I smile before walking into the living room and seeing Jorge and Orla cuddled up asleep on the sofa, Lainey's baby monitor wrapped in Orla's clutch. My heart skips a beat or two as I look at them both. Bending, I grab a blanket from the blanket box and cover the both of them up.
Walking towards the armchair I was tucked into, I grab my book and begin walking back towards Hudson.
“Ready?” he asks as he opens the front door for me to take and I give him a soft nod.
The drive is silent as I watch the pretty pink sky settle over the mountains of our hometown. Hudson keeps looking over at me, checking on me to make sure I am okay. But honestly, I have no idea how I should feel.
I feel guilty for taking a man’s life, but that same man took the life of Harlow. My daughter’s uncle shot Pacey Rivera and Tripp, the only man I have ever loved.
If I could have, I would have taken them all down.
But I couldn't.
Tilting my head, I look down at my hands. They're clean with no marks, yet all I see is them tainted with blood.
“Get out your head, kid,” Hudson mutters as we pull into the hospital car park, and I snort a laugh. “Think about the future, not what’s going on right here, right now. The Rivera boys will be alright, they're made different. A little bullet isn't going to keep them down for long. Kids are wild at heart, like mustangs, you can't keep them pent up for too long.”
I turn my face to look at him, my eyes feeling heavy with unshed tears.
“Come,” he says as he puts the truck into park and jumps down, then opens my door and helps me down.
We walk in silence towards the reception, Hudson giving the reception ladies a little nod as he walks past and their cheeks blush a pretty pink. He is very easy on the eye, but he is no Tripp Rivera.
The ward is quiet, the sound of machines beeping softly in the background as we walk down the long corridor to where Pacey is. Walking into the room, my heart stutters in my chest as I see the boy who is like a ray of sunshine laying lifeless with a tube in his mouth and hooked up to a machine.
“Hey Pace,” I whisper as I walk into the room and take a seat next to him. I am unsure what to even say to him and I am sure I am the last person he would want to see here, but I don't want him to be alone.
I turn to look at Hudson and he gives me a nod.
“I'll go sit with Tripp, come down when you're ready and we will switch it out,” I smile at him just as he walks out the room and disappears.
“Everyone is real worried about you,” I say softly, hand reaching for his. “Austin misses you, he really needs you.” I sigh for a moment, “He is lost; not only has he lost Harlow, but he has kind of lost you too in a way. You're the person he would turn to if you were at home,” I rub my thumb across the back of his hand, my eyes pinned to his handsome face. “Wake up now Pace, show everyone just what you're made of,” I whisper through a tear that rolls down my cheek. “Please,” my voice trembles and I think everything has hit me.
Tripp.
Pacey.
Orla.
Jorge.
Lucian.
Even Harlow.
I begin to hum softly, my eyes closing as I begin to sing a song I wrote years ago when my mom gave me my first guitar.
I repeat the bridge as I fade my voice out and back to a hum.
My eyes stay pinned to Pacey's face. No one deserves this. Especially not Pacey. He is the kindest kid I have ever known. Will always show up for you, will always have your back.
Sighing, I let go of his hand for just a moment and sit back, losing myself in the silence.
Soft shakes make me sit bolt upright, and I see Hudson with a sappy smile on his face.
“Wakey wakey, it's time to switch,” he whispers, and I rub the sleep out of my eyes.
“Any change?” He asks, standing tall and looking over his shoulder, but I shake my head from side to side. “Damn,” he lifts his hat from his head and places it on the foot of Pacey's bed.
“He will wake up, won't he?” I ask as I push from the chair.
I watch as Hudson's brows crinkle for just a moment, a line forming on the bridge of his nose.
“I hope so, ma'am. I really do hope so.”
The walk is short down to where Tripp is, and nerves rattle inside of me. I ran from him yesterday and never gave him an explanation. I panicked. Things were getting a little too... I suck in a breath as I stand outside his door. Giving myself a second, I step into the room and am surprised to see him awake.
His eyes light up, the smooth lines at the crease of his eyes disappearing as he smiles at me.
“You came back.”
I nod, fingers locked together as I walk cautiously over to the seat next to his bed, but he reaches out for me, fingers wrapping around my wrist as he tugs me towards him.
My eyes widen but a boyish grin pulls at his lips.
The same boyish grin he would flash me when we were both up to no good.
“Tripp,” I whisper as he pulls me into his arms.
“You're never running from me again Dixie Walker,” he breathes as he wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him. He hisses in as I try to move but he doesn’t let me.
“I...” I pause for a moment, bodies flush, and I push up, mindful not to hurt him by putting my full weight on him. Riggs must have told him. My blue eyes bounce between his deep brown pools and my heart hammers in my chest.
One of his hands brushes up and tucks a strand of my hair away from my face and behind my ear.
“I never stopped loving you Dixie, not for even one day,” he whispers, and I swallow the large lump that has formed in my throat. “Tell me you never stopped loving me,” he asks on a beg, the sound of his voice cracking.
“Not for even one day,” I whisper back, eyes filling with tears.
“Then promise not to leave me, promise not to run away from me again. My heart couldn't stand it.”
I lower my face as a tear rolls down my cheek and drops onto his bare chest.
“I can't promise you that,” I choke on my words.
They way he pulls in a breath has me feeling guilty, like my words were too painful for him to hear, his chest aching as if it was too hard for him to breathe.
“Then promise me tonight,” his eyes are back on mine, burning into the depths of my soul.
“I promise,” I nod as his hand cups my cheek, his thumb brushing away a rogue tear that trickles down as our lips edge closer.
His breath catches at the back of his throat the moment our lips touch and I melt into him. Tongues dancing, his hands are in my hair as I cup his face with mine.
“I can't wait to get home,” he whispers against my lips, his eyes lowered watching my mouth.
“And why is that?” I whisper back.
“Because I need you Dixie, I want to trace my fingers over every single freckle, mole, scar and blemish on your skin, I want to remember what it feels like to have you, to remember the way your skin melted against my fingertips, the way you taste on my tongue... I want to remember it all Dreamcatcher.”
My heart is weeping deep inside my chest. Because I want all of that too, but Lucian's threat is too loud in my mind.
“Why Dreamcatcher?” I ask, my voice a whisper as I try and change the subject.
“Because you take all the bad away, keep me safe in the storms Dix... you make me feel peace.” His hands are still cupping my face and I lean into him, “I don't feel haunted when you're here,” and his lips are back on mine and that's how we spend our evening until I fall asleep on his chest, comforted by the noise of a hundred soft galloping horses replacing his heartbeat.
The morning sun shines through the metal slated blinds and it takes me a moment to realise where I am. Slowly pushing myself up, Tripp is still softly snoring. Creeping from the bed, his hand darts out and wraps around my wrist.
“You promised,” his voice is gruff, eyes still closed.
“I'm just moving off you,” I whisper through a smile.
“Okay, I’ll let you off,” his fingers uncurl and rest on his stomach.
“You feeling okay?”
He rolls his head to face me.
“Apart from feeling like a horny teenager, I feel great,” and I giggle.
“Well, I don't think you'll be up for any loving anytime soon,” I scrunch my nose.
“Oh don't you worry about that baby, I’m sure we can make it work... I remember the way those hips moved when you were on to?—”
“Woah!” Riggs bellows into the room and my cheeks burn red.
“Don't you dare woah me,” Tripp shakes his head, a soft laugh filling the room and it's up there with one of my favorite sounds, parked right next to Lainey's laugh. “I walked in and actually caught you eating?—”
“Enough boys,” Aspen walks in rolling her eyes. Hands full of coffees from Sunny's and two brown bags. “Who's hungry?”
“Famished,” Riggs groans as Aspen hands me a coffee cup and I lift the lid and smile, then shoves a brown bag in my face.
“You remembered my order?”
“I did,” she winks, “I mean if it was one of those fancy mojo dojo coffees then you would have had no hope in me remembering,” she laughs as she walks towards Tripp and kisses him on the forehead before dragging his bed table over him and placing a coffee and a breakfast bap down for him.
“This smells so good, so much better than the shit they serve here,” he smirks as he peeps inside the bag.
“Only the best for you Tripp Rivera,” she beams at him and Riggs coughs. “Yours is coming darlin, don't be getting jealous now big man,” she winks, patting Riggs on the chest before handing him a coffee and his own breakfast bap.
He grunts in response and Tripp’s eyes are on me as I grab my bag.
“Where you going?” the panic is evident in his voice.
“Nowhere,” I reassure him as I sit down and reach for my book.
“Oh,” he nods, then whistles to get Aspen's attention, brows raising towards me and what I am reading.
“Oh my god,” she jumps up and down as she watches me opening my book. “You're reading my book!?” she screeches, and Riggs closes one eye, tilting his head as her screech pierces all of our eardrums.
“I am,” I smile at her, eyes glassy at how happy she is.
“And... are you enjoying it?!”
“Devouring it,” I nod, taking a mouthful of my coffee and licking my lips. “Must admit though... the cowboy is a bit of a grumpy ass isn't he,” I raise my brows as I look at Riggs through my lashes.
Aspen sighs, tucking herself under her fiancé's arm and pats him on the chest.
“Yeah, he is, but trust me, he redeems himself.”
“Not long till your signing, you getting excited?” Tripp asks and we watch as Aspen's face falls and she turns her face up to look at Riggs.
“I've cancelled,” and I see the way her shoulders sag forward. “I couldn't leave, not after everything that has happened.”
I nod silently.
“So sorry Aspen,” Tripp mutters as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips.
“Don't be sorry,” she smiles at him and my heart swells.
“There is always next year,” Riggs wraps his arm around her small frame and pulls her into him, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
Silence crackles around the room before Hudson runs through the door.
“Pacey is awake,” he rushes his words out.
“Let's go,” Riggs places his coffee and food down on the table and follows after Hudson.
Me, Aspen and Tripp sit and wait.
The last thing he will want is everyone crowding his room.
“Can you call my mom and let?—”
“Already on it,” Aspen smiles as she lifts the phone to her ear.
Tripp throws her a wink before his sole attention is on me, his boyish grin painted onto his face and my heart skips a beat.
And just like that, we're teens again.