Chapter Twenty
Back inside my room at the cottage, I practice everything I want to say to make sure my curse will allow it, and when I hear Will come back down the stairs, I stop pacing.
I stop rehearsing and force myself out the bedroom door.
He stands at the workshop desk in a clean button-down shirt, tipping some crushed ginger into a glass vial.
My heart rate spikes at the cute crease of focus on his face.
“This won’t take long,” Will says, his eyes on the task at hand. “We’ve got a variety of remedies to keep you going. I’ll pack all of them just in case.”
My footsteps are slow creaks across the room.
He reaches for a jar of eucalyptus leaves, pops open the lid, and holds one out over a small bottle.
I devour the way his breathing slows, and his eyelashes bat together.
Gods, he’s beautiful. How I want him to be mine.
He casts a whisper of a spell, and the leaf melts into oil in an instant of fragrant steam.
It’s that time of day when the sun is setting and the world is gray, when the birds stop singing to settle in their nests, and there’s a hint, a magic, a potential in the evening mist. Even in this spacious candlelit room, the night is suspended, allowing me this moment to cherish how, even in the desaturating light, he glows.
As the last drop of eucalyptus oil settles, I reach his side, close enough to smell the fresh soap on his skin.
I’m ivy, clinging to any moment together.
“Will,” I say, my voice scratchy.
He twists on a wax lid and sets the bottle aside, then reaches for another empty vial.
“Will, stop.”
I place my hand on top of his.
He pauses, a lock of hair hiding his eyes.
“I’m not leaving,” I say.
I summon all the courage I have and trace my fingertips up to his wrists, barely grazing his skin, and lift his hand away from the bottle.
His hazel eyes struggle to meet mine, and when they do, he scans my face, lips slightly parted and a tug of disbelief between his eyebrows. Gods, if I could pause the world…
“I’m not leaving you.”
I’d prepared my speech while he was getting cleaned up.
Will, you have nothing to feel guilty about.
I would come for you no matter what. If I was bleeding, if every bone in my body was broken.
If I’d been carved up and beaten, if every single breath was poison, I’d come for you.
If anyone stood between us, I’d claw my way to you if it was the last thing I did.
To keep you alive, to keep you safe, I’d break you out of a thousand prisons.
Drag myself over any obstacle. I’m going to be bold and determined so he understands that I won’t abandon him.
He’ll know that there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than by his side.
But now he’s here, in front of me, and the longing I have for him is a forest of aspen trees, not allowing anything else to flourish where they grow. It rattles and laments in the wind and—
“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” I blurt out.
Will blinks, stunned.
I can’t stop the words from tumbling.
“That day we found Merit, I thought you were going to kiss me. Then in the Lunarie grove that night, and when you took me home, it was perfect and, even just earlier today in the stable I thought—Actually, I don’t know what to think and it’s tearing me up not knowing.
When I thought you’d— When I thought I’d lost you, I was terrified and, well, now that we survived and we’re okay, I just—It’s something I’ve been thinking about, a lot.
Since we met, actually. I think about you. A lot. Um.”
I take a breath.
Fuck.
I hate telling the truth when it’s so clunky.
I’d planned this out. I wasn’t supposed to say it like this.
I’ve ruined this for sure. The silence stretches and Will doesn’t move and when I can’t take it any longer, I drop his hand.
Okay, never mind, forget it, I want to say.
But I can’t. I whip around as the heat of embarrassment burns my face.
It’s a frustrating truth to know that I was a fool to hope so freely.
I suppose he did tell me to leave. I didn’t think he was being serious. I thought—
“Fliss.”
It comes out so sober, so gentle, that I halt.
Will takes my elbow and turns me back around. His eyes are golden in the candlelight, and they flicker with a vulnerability that squeezes my chest tight.
“Fliss, it’s not easy for me to…” His eyes dance across my face.
“There’s so much we haven’t talked about.
So much I haven’t talked about. And I learned my lesson.
The one time I decided to be selfish was the morning I almost killed you.
I’m not risking a repeat. I will not be the reason you get hurt again. ”
“You…you were coming for me?”
“Yeah. And instead, I put a sword through your stomach. As things go, not a great turn of events.”
Hope blooms behind my ribs.
“It was an accident,” I insist. “I willingly put myself at risk and the sword appeared in your hand at the exact moment I reached you. There was no time to avoid it. Don’t forget that you also saved my life.
I needed your mum’s help, and you got me here in time.
There’s nothing to forgive.” I reach up and cup his jaw. “Please. Believe me.”
Under my palm, his skin is soft and warm, and when I move my thumb against his cheek, he leans against it and closes his eyes, seemingly fighting an internal decision. Finally, with a deep breath like he’s about to dive into water, he grabs my waist.
“Oh, fuck it,” Will says, and tugs me flush against him. I squeak and grab the collar of his shirt. His eyes flare in panic that he might have hurt me, but I shake my head adamantly at the worry and rise up on my toes. Closer. I need to be closer.
His voice is a soft breeze, inches away from my mouth. “Those times you mentioned…Did you want me to kiss you?”
“You know I can only tell you the truth.”
“How about now?” he asks, and walks me backward.
He presses me against a bookshelf, and I let him, melted like candle wax in his grip. My heart is a thundering mess. I’m dizzy, unable to think straight, breathe right, let alone reply to his question. He has me captured and he knows it.
“If I kiss you, that’ll be it for me,” Will whispers.
I lick my lips. “It’ll be all I want. There’ll be no going back.
I’ve wanted to kiss you more times than I can count.
Lain awake on sleepless nights consumed by it.
You were everywhere I went and running through my dreams as if I’d willed you into existence myself. Gods, Fliss, of course I want you.”
His confession floods through me like a winter downpour. He was holding back. He likes me. He wants me. Like the first kindling of a bonfire, I switch from silent pining to a satisfied triumph that I’ve been right this whole time.
“Then do it,” I dare him, and lift my chin.
His hands shoot up to catch mine and pin them against the books on either side of my head.
But it’s my turn to take revenge for his holding out on me.
It’s my turn to play. Will lingers in that in-between, his eyes on my lips and hitched, heavy breathing.
He can’t resist for much longer. It’s a marvel that I can have that effect on someone. On him.
“What are you waiting for?” I tease as his fingers intertwine with mine and hold me firmly against the book spines.
Will nudges my nose and I grin. He’s seconds from caving.
I lower my voice. “You’re hot when you’re desperate.
Like in the dungeon. Fliss, please. Fliss, stay with me.
Fliss, don’t leave me. Begging. I want you to beg for me. ”
My words do the trick. He growls and grabs my jaw. There’s a split second when our eyes meet, both alight with challenge.
“Trust me,” Will says, “you’ll be the one begging when I’m done with you.”
He kisses me. It’s urgent and determined, desperate. Exactly what I want. I grasp the waves of his hair and surge against him, kissing him back with just as much fervor. Gods, finally.
Everything else disappears. There’s only Will and his mouth on mine and pleasure humming in my veins.
His tongue brazenly sweeps against mine and I reel.
I’d be swaying if it weren’t for the bookshelf and Will’s body keeping me upright.
I’m completely tangled in him, overwhelmed by the gods damned taste of him.
His hands skim the curve of my backside, and I can’t help the gasp that escapes me.
He stops, his cheeks flushed and lips tinged pink.
“Do that again,” he orders.
I shiver. “Make me.”
Intensity gleaming in his eyes, Will lifts me up by my thighs and carries me over to the workshop desk.
There’s a gust of magic as he sweeps the books and herbs off the table and sits me down, yanking me close by the backs of my knees.
Then he’s kissing me all over again as if he can’t bear another second apart.
I hook my legs around him and roll my hips forward.
It provokes a delighted hum from his throat that has me kissing him even harder, devouring him even more.
Consciously or not, he’s whipping up a magical wind around us that’s really ruining Ruth’s organization, and it’s not long before vials are clattering to the floor around me.
“Your mum won’t be happy about that,” I say between kisses.
Will digs his fingers into my thighs, eyes closed.
“Please don’t talk about my mum right now.”
His indignation makes me laugh.
“What should I talk about, then?”
“Your mouth should be otherwise occupied.”
“Any ideas how?”
Our hands meet at his collar.
“Fliss, wait—”
“We can stop,” I say.
He shakes his head, those waves ruffled from all my traversing.
“No, it’s just…There’s something I haven’t told you.” Will’s voice cracks. He places his hands over mine, paused at his top button, and squeezes. “I, um, I’ve had a couple of procedures to help me become more…”