28. JT
Chapter twenty-eight
JT
“I told you Wild Bluffs was the solution to all your golfing woes,” Jameo says as he walks into the locker room late Saturday afternoon. It looks like we’ll both be in the running for the top spot this tournament, which isn’t a surprise for him this summer, but with the way my golf game has been, it’s noteworthy on my part. Unfortunately for Jameson, I think we found the same solution to our problems, it just doesn’t happen to be golfing at Wild Bluffs.
I’m beginning to suspect the women in our lives are the real difference-makers in our games. It might be a coincidence I did so well at the tournaments after I hooked up with Lila last year, but when you add this one into the mix? I’m having a hard time denying the data.
“It’s been a pretty great summer,” I say. “Thanks again for letting me crash at your place.”
“You know you’re welcome any time. I’d prefer I get to hang out with you next time you come to town, though,” he says, and I feel a block of guilt settle into my stomach. I’m sleeping around with his little sister. We’re intentionally keeping it from him. Maybe I should just tell him now? But no. First of all, telling him the night before the final round would be a shitty thing to do, plus, I’m just not willing to risk our friendship over a three-week fling. My heart rebels against my mind at the term fling . Lila and I may be temporary, but it’s not a fling, not something I’m going to throw away easily once it’s done. No, I know these six weeks living with Lila will have changed who I am at a visceral level, and I may never get her out of my system, even if I never touch her again.
“Of course. How has your time away with Bryn been?”
“Fucking fantastic,” he says, pulling his head through his shirt. “The vacation time, seeing Bryn in action at her job, and having her with me at the tournaments have all been amazing, but it’s also made us both feel a bit untethered. We actually have some big news. I talked to a couple of local contractors as well as WBCC, and we’re going to buy a lot and start building a house of our own at Wild Bluffs.”
“What?” I ask, taken aback. They’ve been together for less than a year. They aren’t married. “What’s the rush?”
“There isn’t a rush, but at the same time, I know Bryn is end game for me, so why wouldn’t I start taking steps to make it permanent? Plus, I can’t keep renting that house. It was never supposed to be a long-term rental—Conrad was just doing me a favor. And, especially now that Lila is in Wild Bluffs for the foreseeable future, it feels like a good next step. Bryn insists on calling it my house, if that makes your commitment-phobe heart feel better.”
“That’s, that’s great, man,” I manage to reply.
I can’t imagine throwing myself into something like that. Jameo has been hurt by a long-term girlfriend before, and yet here he is, willing to risk it all again for the woman he loves. Even as I say it, I see Lila’s face like it was last night on our video call, her eyes bright as she told me about her day and the work she’s doing on her top-secret security proposal. I could see it with Lila—diving headfirst into the deep end of being with her. Unfortunately, I know it wouldn’t last. I would need to focus on my game, on earning my parents the life they gave up for me, and she would get tired of not being my top priority. After a week, a month, or a year of being put second, she’d give up on me and leave. And I can’t have anything but golf be my priority. It’s the only way to pay my parents back for the dreams they gave up to support mine.
“Speaking of Lila.” Jameson starts talking to me again, and I force myself to focus on the present. “I haven’t been contacted by the police, so I take it you two have kept from murdering each other or burning the house down. How is she? I haven’t had much time to talk to her lately between her work schedule and mine.”
“Thoroughly satisfied” feels like the wrong answer, but I also smirk with pride at the accuracy of the statement. I wasn’t sure what the protocol would be for our time apart, but Lila texted me minutes into my flight, and we’ve only stopped messaging each other since while I’m actively golfing.
Thursday afternoon, after a good day on the course had me in ninth, I opened my phone to find messages from Sam, Lila, and my dad. I, of course, opened Lila’s first. She’d texted me almost twenty times, all string of consciousness thoughts about my attire, excitement at my good shots, and amusing tidbits and gossip about the guys in my foursome. Her comments made me laugh, and I’ve never felt more supported by someone. My dad’s message, on the other hand, had been short and sweet: About time. Call me to discuss your chipping form.
I ignored my father and texted Lila back instead, the first time I didn’t call him directly after a round. I ended up texting Lila all night, including falling asleep messaging her. While it wasn’t the same as having her in my arms, it was so much better than being alone or lying next to some random stranger like I used to.
Lila and I texted each other all day Friday, and I laughed out loud in the locker room as I read her thoughts from the round. She was highly offended on my behalf that the announcers didn’t mention the decline in female viewers during my absence. To be fair to the announcers, though, I’m pretty sure that’s a stat that only exists in Lila’s head.
The best surprise came Friday night when my phone rang, notifying me of a video call from Lila. She’d been out with the Harpers and Becca—the Mavericks football team was away last week at a summer camp, so none of her “new friends” were there, thank God—and she was a bit tipsy as she lay on our bed, her phone held in front of her face so I could see her beautiful grin.
We’d talked for almost two and a half hours before she’d fallen asleep, and I’d put my phone down on the pillow next to me, tilting the screen so I could sleep with her from hundreds of miles away.
I’d been on fire on the course today, too, and I knew it was thanks to Lila. And fuck me if that doesn’t suck, because I know it’s going to end, and then what am I going to be left with? A gaping hole in my chest and a golf game that can’t function without her, that’s what.
I realize Jameo is waiting for me to answer him about the state of his sister, so I force myself to focus on him rather than spiraling about what’s to come.
“Honestly, Lila seems to be doing really well. She loves her job, and she’s making friends with Bryn’s sisters and some of the other people in town.” A few too many of the men in town, but I don’t mention that to her brother.
“My mom said you’ve been driving Lila to and from work every day since her car got totaled.” He looks at me, and I can’t read the look on his face. His arms are crossed, but it feels less like he’s mad and more like he just doesn’t know what else to do with his arms.
“It’s not every day. Izzy and Kelsey give her rides back home sometimes.”
“Well, still. I appreciate you helping her out while I’m not there. Bryn’s car is at long-term airport parking. If you can get to Denver, I’m sure we can figure out how to get it back for Lila to use. Or I’ll just buy her a new car and get it delivered there,” he says, considering.
I know Jameo means it, and suddenly it feels like I might lose my time with Lila even sooner than I anticipated. “Oh, no. It’s not a problem. I’ve developed an addiction to the coffee at Wild Brews anyway. Plus, I’m gone most of the next few weeks for tournaments, so no need to figure out a car until then. Even then, I can switch my rental contract over to her name if she still needs something.”
Now I know it’s suspicion on his face. “Okay, who are you and what did you do with the guy who can’t stand to be in the same room as my sister?”
“It was never that bad,” I say defensively.
“My mom had to add an extra table at Thanksgiving because you two made the rest of us miserable with your bickering.”
“That’s not true, there were just more people there for a couple of years.”
“There were fewer people than normal two of the three years she did it.”
Fuck. I didn’t realize how bad we’d gotten.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was that bad. I’ll call your mom. I’ll apologize. Crap. You should’ve said something. I never meant to inconvenience anyone. I don’t have to come—”
“JT,” Jameo says, grabbing me firmly on the shoulder. “It’s not a big deal. Of course you’re coming this year. If anything, we’ll kick Lila out.” He laughs at his own joke, and even though I know he’s kidding, I kind of want to punch him in the face on Lila’s behalf. And I suppose it doesn’t matter. I won’t be at Thanksgiving with the Walkers this year—the first time since Jameo and I became friends freshman year of college. There’s no way I’ll be able to face Lila in front of her entire family, to hear about the life I’m no longer a part of, and not completely lose it.
“Right. Sorry.” I reach up and shift my baseball cap so it sits backward before reversing the movement so it’s forward again.
“Are you all right, JT?” Jameo asks. He’s a much better friend than I deserve and is, of course, picking up on my nerves.
“Yeah. I just feel bad about imposing on your family. I feel like such a dick for making your mom do extra work.”
“No one has ever felt that way about you. My family loves you, and we all really appreciate you helping Lila get settled into her new life.”
“We’re friends now,” I say. “I’m happy to help.”
Realizing there’s something I need to tell Jameo about, I continue, “Plus, she’s doing me a huge favor by being my plus one to the Ferguson Tournament event, so driving her around for a couple of weeks is the least I can do.”
I’m slightly terrified of how he’ll react, but he doesn’t seem affected at all. “Nice. We’ll be there too. Maybe the four of us can get breakfast together or something.”
“Sure,” I say, surprised with how cool he’s being about this.
“But she cannot bunk with me.” Ahh. That explains it. He’s not even considering she might be going as my date.
Jameo continues, “I’m not losing my alone time with Bryn, even if she’ll be busy most of the time with her work colleagues getting things ready.”
“Is she involved with the event?” I ask, feeling both hopeful and kind of like a leech at the same time. Maybe she can introduce my parents to some people who might want to invest with them.
“Not really. She just offered to help set up, since she’ll be there with me anyway.”
“Oh, cool. That’ll be fun.” Well, there goes that idea.
I offer a grin that comes out lopsided, and Jameo smiles back before heading out to find the love of his life. I sit there feeling inexplicably jealous of my best friend as I pull out my phone and respond to Lila, telling her about the bullet I just dodged with her brother.