Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
MAVERICK
I held Annalee’s hand tight, not wanting to let it go for even a second. I looked over at her as she smiled, her light brown skin dewy with a glow to it that I didn’t recognize, her eyes so bright and full of life.
This was a side of Annalee I hadn’t seen in a long, long time. She seemed so at home here, which should’ve been... impossible. This place wasn’t a home. It was a wasteland, where death and danger awaited around every corner, yet Annalee had no problem navigating any of it.
“Hey,” I said as we walked through a field of trees that had been razed to the ground, nothing left but their stumps and dead leaves and branches. “I owe you an apology, you know.”
She arched her neck to look up at me. “It’s okay. I know I was asking a lot of you, of Mama and Father. I knew it all seemed impossible.” She gripped my arm. “But that’s why I wanted you to see it.”
I let out a laugh of disbelief. “How did you even know I’d follow you? That was a huge gamble to take.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “I had to come here, no matter what. Every time I slept, I dreamt of this place, Mav. And it felt like the longer I stayed away, the more it was eating me alive. I almost believed I was crazy, just like Father said. But everyday when I woke up, back to reality after a night spent dreaming of the Wilds, I lost a piece of myself.”
She jumped up onto a tree stump, then stepped down, her blue-checkered dress swaying with the movement.
“Do you know why you had dreams of this place?” I asked, still not able to put any of it together. “How could you have known what was here? The madness? The wonder. I—” I rubbed my jaw.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know why I started dreaming of the Wilds or these creatures. I don’t even know what happened here after the Shadow War, how Shiraeth became this.” She gestured to the field of stumps. “But I think, in a way, I was meant to come here. To understand the Wilds and its inhabitants. To help them. You know they wouldn’t ever be accepted in Arathia. If word got out what existed here, they’d send armies to slaughter everyone and burn everything.”
For a moment, I wondered if that might be such a bad thing.
Like she could read my thoughts, Annalee swatted my arm. “There’s some beauty here, you know,” she said. “I’ve found it, and everyone else can too. There’s been no one to govern these creatures, no one to lead them or show them how to behave. They need help, not to be wiped from existence.”
“How did you get so smart?” I pressed a kiss to Annalee’s temple. “And when did you grow up?” I’d missed so much after I left for the academy, and Annalee had gone through a lot without me by her side.
From an early age, she’d been having these dreams about a place no one else believed was real, she’d had to deal with my mother’s wild emotions, my father’s stern hand. She’d been called crazy and been made to feel like she was lying, making all of this up for attention. And all the while, she’d been steadfast in her beliefs.
I swallowed my rising guilt, then glanced behind me at Emory, who walked alone, Driscoll and Aron behind her, while El marched ahead of us all.
I caught Emory’s eye and gave her a nod, then turned.
“Who’s the pretty blonde?” Annalee asked.
“A friend.” I kept my voice curt, my answer short .
“Really? Because while we were having our tea party, you kept looking at her like a sad puppy who got its toy taken away.”
I shoved Annalee as she laughed.
“Just worry about yourself.”
“I can’t. You might be my older brother, but I’m always going to worry about you.”
“Hey.” I stepped over a tree stump as the field sloped upward, peaking at a hill that El already stood on, tapping her foot impatiently. “That’s not your job, okay? I’m here to watch out for you.”
“I don’t need you to watch out for me. I just need you to”—she flailed her hands about—“be there for me. To support me. I just want to know that you’ll have my back.”
“I do,” I said quickly. “Always.”
She tipped her head back toward Emory. “Have you kissed her?”
I groaned. “Can we drop this?”
“Should I ask her?” Her smile grew mischievous. “Maybe she’ll be more willing to talk.”
I stopped, tapping her nose. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Well, I made friends with blood beetles and the Mad Hatter. I don’t think speaking to Emory is going to be so scary compared to that.” She widened her eyes innocently.
I sighed heavily as we began the trek uphill, El staring down at us, her gaze practically burning holes into my head. She might have been eager to get home, but I was tired and I was going to take my damn time getting up this hill while I talked to my sister.
“Emory and I have a complicated history.” Annalee didn’t know I was the bone collector. It wasn’t like I was worried she’d reveal my identity to anyone, but it wasn’t my place to tell her that Emory was the white rabbit. I didn’t even know if she’d heard of us, our secret identities. We were mostly known to the frost queen, those connected to her. “She’s a historian like me. Except she’s far braver.”
If only Emory could see that.
“She loves a good challenge. She’ll jump over snake pits, dive into piranha-infested rivers, cross frozen lakes—anything to get hold of rare artifacts.”
Annalee’s breathing growing heavy as we continued to ascend the hill. She lifted her skirts when we came upon a muddy spot that she stepped over. “Sounds familiar.”
“Yeah.” I laughed. “We like to compete, challenge each other. Over the years we became friends, and then recently, it became something more.”
“So what’s the problem? She sounds perfect for you.”
“I’m the problem,” I said. “I care too much about work, my profession. I don’t know how to have a life outside of it, how to let others in. I put it above everything.” I swallowed the thick knot in my throat. “I put it above you. Went off to the academy to my job, even though your dreams were beginning to become more frequent, and Father was getting more and more frustrated with you.”
Annalee stopped and turned. “Is that what you think? You think you abandoned me?”
“I did abandon you.”
“Mav.” She shook her head, scowling. “You saved me. You wrote to me every single week. You listened to all my dreams, my ramblings. You asked questions. You didn’t treat me like I was crazy. Not ever. Not like everyone else. You came home and visited, even though it meant long trips and missing work. You even tried to get Father to let me come with you up north.” She put a hand on my arm. “It’s okay to be passionate about something you love.” Then she moved her hand, laying it right over my chest. “Your heart can grow, you know.” She bobbed her head. “Not literally. But you can make room for more. You’re not selfish, and if she believes that, then she doesn’t know you. She doesn’t deserve you.”
We continued up the hill, and Annalee clutched her side.
“Do you need to rest?” I asked.
“No.” She nodded toward El, who was pacing back and forth, hands balled at her sides. “I think she might actually push us back down the hill if we take any longer to get up there.”
I looked behind me. Driscoll, Aron, and Emory had stopped to look at a plant sticking out of the ground that was puffing smoke into the air.
“They better be careful,” Annalee said. “That stuff will give you hallucinations.”
“She’s not the problem,” I said quietly, gazing at Emory as she laughed in delight at something Driscoll said. “She was married before. To a terrible man. He hurt her.” I thought of those bruises on her neck and had to swallow back my anger. “She’s scared. She’s afraid to be in another marriage like that.” Annalee opened her mouth, but I continued on, “She’s worried she’ll be trapped again. Her husband kept a tight rein. So she had to hide that part of herself from him. She doesn’t want to risk losing herself all over again.”
“Hm,” Annalee said. “You know, when no one believed me about the Wilds, I’d almost given up. Father sent me to that terrible Academy of Ladies, and I was so resigned.”
My heart broke at the words. I’d known this, but hearing her say it hit differently.
“I was going to just go and finally be the good girl. Shut up and forget about these dreams and forget about the Wilds.”
“So what changed?”
“You did.” She laughed.
“Me?” I said, arching a brow.
“Yes, you . You started taking more risks, going after what you wanted, trying to make an actual change at the academy instead of going along with those old, stuffy professors. You became this amazing adventurer, and it made you happy in a way I had never seen before.”
“Because I met Emory. Because she changed me.”
“So show her that,” Annalee said. “Don’t stop proving yourself until she realizes you’re going to love her the way she deserves to be loved. Go after her like you’ve gone after all those rare artifacts sitting in that fancy academy museum.”
My lips twitched because when she put it like that...
“If you love her, then it’s worth the fight.”
Of course I loved her. She’d become so entwined in my life, in my thoughts, in my very being, there was no me without her.
Annalee was right. I’d never scared easily. I’d never let anything stop me from getting what I wanted. And there was nothing I wanted more than Emory.
We finally arrived at the top of the hill, and Annalee gasped.
“That’s your camp?” she asked, mouth agape.
I took in the view below. A sparkling blue lake spread out in front of a towering castle. Silver walls that shimmered and glittered rose into pointed peaks. Large balconies jutted out with billowing white curtains draped over the windows. A drawbridge stretched over a river that fed into the lake and wound around the castle.
“Your camp is the castle?” I asked with a raised brow.
El just shrugged as the rest of our group caught up, and Driscoll hunched over, hands on his knees. “I get to stay in the star court castle? Are you kidding me?” He turned to El. “Do you have hot water?”
She nodded.
He sank to his knees. “Oh, thank the bloody spirits. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my entire life.”
“Is it safe?” I drew Annalee back toward me.
“It is,” Aron said. “The castle is where many of us have resided for the better part of sixty years. We keep it fortified.” He nodded toward the castle walls, and I could just make out the forms of guards keeping watch from the towers, all of them with something slightly off about them. I swore one of them had wings instead of arms and another’s body was covered with black fur. “You’ll be safe. I promise.”
That was good enough for me. Maybe without constant threats to my life, I could finally have some time and space to figure out exactly how I was going to win back Emory and make her mine.