Chapter 34

Sage

SOS. The mayor's wife ordered "subtle spring vibes" for the spring festival, but she keeps texting me pictures of Las Vegas showgirl headdresses. Like wtf?

Lo Lo

Just do what she wants and bill her accordingly.

Sage

She said she wants "whispers of elegance." This woman is screaming in sequins.

Wade

Do you want me to arrest her for having bad taste?

Kipp

I once saw a guy wearing camouflage Crocs to a wedding. There are no laws against crimes of fashion.

Phiny

Break out your hot glue gun and hit Hobby Lobby. It’ll be fine. She'll love it and tell everyone you're a genius.

Or tell her you have the flu.

Sage

East, that's lying.

Its avoidance. Those people make me itch.

Wade

It's definitely lying.

Sage

…I’m definitely not hot gluing sequins. Maybe I’ll compromise and stick some feathers in the centerpieces.

Kipp

Glad we could talk you out of anything involving hot glue. You and glue don’t mix.

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