Chapter 38 #2
Kipp always said I was a builder because I liked control.
There were few things I liked more than knowing how something fit together, how to fix it when it broke.
But this wasn’t something I could fix with two-by-fours and nails.
This was a woman whose very foundation had been ripped out years ago.
She’d managed to find a new one that her Grams had built up for her, but now it was on shaky ground.
I understood all of that, but I wasn’t sure how I fit anymore. Or if she wanted me to try.
I wasn’t sure if she’d ever let anyone reinforce the damn thing again.
Still, I wasn’t going to leave her house in ruins, so I got to work and settled into a steady, even frenzied pace before calling it a night.
By the time I left the cottage, the mist had turned cold enough to bite.
The truck door groaned when I yanked it open.
I didn’t head for home right away, just drove.
First, I went by Chapter & Crumb, where the lights were still on.
It looked like Lila was closing up for the night.
I’d sent her a few texts earlier, but they were all unread.
It made me a little sick to my stomach at the thought that she might be ignoring me.
Then I turned my truck towards home. When I finally pulled up at the farmhouse, Kipp’s truck was still in the drive.
I killed the engine and sat for a minute, watching the glow from the kitchen window.
Maggie’s silhouette moved inside, slow and easy.
For the first time that day, I let my head drop against the steering wheel and just breathed.
Kipp was at the sink when I walked in, drying a plate. He didn’t look surprised to see me. Just raised a brow and poured a second cup of coffee without asking.
“You look like shit. Afternoon didn’t go well?” He leaned a hip against the counter while watching me, waiting for me to speak.
“Something like that.”
He slid the mug over. “That look on your face says something happened with Lila.”
“Could say that.” I took a swallow that burned on the way down. “Derek showed up at Lila’s today.”
Kipp’s whole posture changed. His shoulders went tight and his jaw set. “He threatened her?”
“I wasn’t there, so I didn’t hear everything he had to say, but he was an abusive shit to Lila.” I cringed a little, knowing I was spreading information Lila hadn’t actually shared. Kipp nodded, though, as if this wasn’t news to him.
“Yeah, dude is bad news for sure. I know all about Derek Burnett. I’ve had a few run-ins with him up in the woods. There’s a pot grow he hangs around sometimes. Guy is skeevy.”
My eyebrows went up. “Really?” This was news to me.
“Oh yeah. Guy hangs out with some real stellar company.” Kipp’s lip curled.
“I know for a fact that two of the guys he’s friends with do an illegal grow every year, but we struggle to shut them down almost every time.
” His eyebrows knit with what I knew to be frustration.
Kipp was an exceptional tracker, and he loved nothing more than keeping people safe, so something like this? It would drive him bananas.
“Sounds like a dick. Not that I didn’t already know that. I guess he mentioned the fire to her, and about old family resurfacing. He spooked her pretty bad.” The thought that Derek had approached her gnawed at me.
“Jesus,” he muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I’m guessing he cleared out before you got there?”
Kipp had a hair trigger about women in delicate situations, and this would be hitting a little too close to home.
“Yeah. You’re guessing right. She was alone. By the time I got there, he was long gone. I doubt he would have shown up if I were there.” The fact that she was alone was a kick in the gut. I wanted to be there for her.
“Does Wade know about it?” He chewed on the side of his cheek as he looked at me. “You should talk to him.”
“Not yet. I’ll call him after this. She went by herself to the bookstore.” I stared morosely at my brother. “She said she needed time to think.”
He studied me for a long beat. “She’s the first woman that you have big feelings for.”
It wasn’t a question. Kipp wasn’t one to talk either.
He had had one serious girlfriend, but it hadn’t worked out.
She hadn’t been anything like the sort of girl that we’d thought Kipp would go for.
She’d been materialistic and vain. In the end, she’d broken things off with him and left in a huff. Maggie had said it was a blessing.
“Yeah.” My throat felt raw saying it. “More than I probably should.” I wasn’t sure that Lila returned the feelings that I had. I was thinking she did, but now I had doubts.
Kipp leaned back against the counter, mug in hand. “She’s had it rough. That’s obvious. But you can’t make someone ready for you if they’re not. Doesn’t matter how hard you work. You both have to commit.”
I gave a humorless laugh. “That’s supposed to be wisdom from the great Kipp Holt?” It wasn’t bad.
“Wisdom from the man who’s stepped on the same rake too many damn times.” He lifted his mug in mock salute. “Don’t chase her. Be there. But don’t chase.”
“Right now, I just want to keep her breathing. Then I can think about chasing.” I stared at my hands for a minute, wondering if I should try to go to the store to check on her or not.
“Then do that. The rest will shake out, however it’s meant to.” Kipp gave me a sympathetic look.
Maggie appeared in the doorway, hobbling on her crutches. “Everything all right?”
“Fine,” I said too quickly.
She gave me that mother look that said she didn’t believe a word of it, but decided to let me keep my pride anyway. “I made a casserole earlier. Eat something, East.”
“I’m good,” I lied. “Making casserole? You must be feeling pretty good.”
“Yep. I’m learning to balance, and I got my checkup. This cast is definitely coming off. I’ll be getting that walking boot, you’ll see.”
She was determined to get the walking boot at her six-week checkup, and given her dedication to following her doctor’s directions and keeping up with her strengthening and conditioning exercises, I didn’t doubt her.
“I’ve learned to do all my chopping and prep at the counter sitting down, and I can still do most everything on my own,” she was saying proudly, and I had to refocus to pay attention to what she was saying.
“I’m proud of you, Maggie. I know that you want to keep your independence.” We all knew that was important to her.
“Where’s that girl of yours at?”
The question was innocent enough, but I winced a little, and that was enough for Maggie to perk up. “She’s at the shop. I’m not sure …”
“Listen here.” She shook her finger at me. “That there is the perfect woman for you, Easton Holt. Don’t you let her run away from you. You hang onto her with both hands. You chase her if you need to. Don’t listen to your brother.”
My shoulders slumped a little. “I’m not sure if she feels the same way I do.”
She scoffed. “I’ve been around a little longer than you have. She feels just the same. I can tell by the way she looks at you. Maybe she’s a little gun-shy, but you need to keep showing up for her. Don’t let her fears or yours get in the way. She steps back, and you step forward.”
“Okay, Mags. You’re right.” I squared my shoulders.
I knew what my feelings were. They were strong and steady like a current in a river.
If hers were the same, or even like the ones that eddied, swirling into each other and back again, then I could work with that.
She could be my chance at a love like Levi and Maggie’s, and I wasn’t going to mess that up.
“I’m going to head to town. Check on Lila.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” Maggie shot me a wink.
By the time I got back to my truck, I looked toward the valley where her cottage sat, half rebuilt and empty for a few minutes before I started it up.
Somewhere out there, Derek was walking around, just waiting to cause more trouble.
It bugged the hell out of me that he was back in town.
And then there was the issue of Lila’s father coming back into the picture.
I was sure that bothered her, just as it would bother me if someone with no claim at all was making a move.
They were getting closer. I could feel it.
And the worst part was knowing that no matter how ready I was to fight for her, she might not let me. Still, I wasn’t backing down. I climbed into the truck and dialed Wade. When he answered, I didn’t bother with hello. “We need to talk.”