Chapter 27
Group Chat
Dysfunction Junction
East
Heard Kipp had an actual family up at the cabins besides Hattie. Should we start taking bets on how long before he scares someone off?
Nobody’s scared. They were impressed. I got five stars, unlike someone we know.
East
Asshole. That’s an INSIDE joke.
Sage
Inside something. Lol.
East
Lila and I are going to talk about what is appropriate family talk.
Anyway, back to me … the family was impressed.
Lo Lo
Impressed is what men say when they don’t want to admit they hovered like a park ranger with a clipboard.
Wade
To be fair, he is park ranger-adjacent.
Game warden. And I did a perfectly normal check-in. How do you know I have a clipboard?
Sage
Did you explain wildlife safety for twenty minutes?
Kipp
Five.
Phiny
Five is still too many.
East
Was Fish involved?
Fish is an ambassador.
Lo Lo
Fish is the best part.
Wade
Confirmed. People trust the dog.
Sage
Important question. Who were the guests?
Nice family. Two kids. Polite. Observant.
East
You just described deer.
Phiny
Did you offer them a guided hike, a laminated rules sheet, and a lecture on fire safety?
I offered help if they needed anything.
Lo Lo
That’s his version of flirting, too. Just so everyone knows.
Wade
Speaking of which.
Sage
Oh no.
East
Here we go.
Wade
How’s your other tenant?
She’s fine.
Lo Lo
“Fine” is Holt code for emotionally compromised.
Phiny
Did you take things to the next level or just brood nearby again?
Kipp
No comment.
East
That’s a yes.
Wade
I’m proud of you.
Sage
I give it three weeks before he’s googling how to be chill.
Lo Lo
Two weeks before he “accidentally” makes her dinner.
Kipp
You’re all exhausting.
East
And yet, correct.
Phiny
Tell Fish I said hi.
Kipp
Fish says hi back.
Lo Lo
Fish is our favorite sibling.
Wade
Keep us posted, Cabin Romeo.
Don’t call me that.
Wade
Too late. Saved in my phone.