Chapter 14
Now that I owned a dungeon core, summonings didn't have to be done in the bathhouse anymore.
If the target was a demon, I could make a sealed chamber inside the dungeon with escape teleporters for my people and me.
Since I had the three sisters, I didn't see myself calling on more demons any time soon, but I did need to summon celestials.
I was short on liquid sunlight, so I had to continue reaching to the heavens even if it was risky. Immunity to Holy wasn't directly beneficial in eliminating Abaddon, but keeping my party alive was nothing but upside. That would always help me.
The difference with summoning celestials was that they would be more comfortable with an exit in the material plane than they would be with an exit in a dungeon.
So I built a summoning chamber in Sanctuary South with the premise I would use in a dungeon: completely sealed with teleporters only my party could use for a quick escape.
As always, Solara drew the circle and said the incantation. The arcane symbols spun in opposite directions at varying speeds before shining gold.
A grigori with white marble skin stepped through the tear between planes. Her wings were clipped like the other grigori we had seen, but this one had a body very much like the sorceress standing next to me.
The fallen angel had wide hips and exceptional breasts.
Bound by gold chains, her captors had wrapped her mounds three times, the gleaming metal pinching her skin, her flesh squeezing painfully through the gaps.
The chains wrapped her ass and then her thighs individually, so she could actually walk, I assumed.
Her silver hair had been shaved, and her eyes were the liquid gold I had come to expect from angeli.
“You insult a grigori's master by summoning her here,” the fallen angeli said. “No grigori is so low that a human is above them.”
I was afraid this would happen. Cici was beginning to look like an anomaly among her people. Her spirit was broken, and she welcomed a chance to escape, even if it was hard for her. Every grigori we had summoned since appeared before us, already spewing insults.
In our last attempt, I dangled the offer of freedom, but that only upset the grigori more.
I began to worry that the majority of grigori summonings would go exactly the same way, so in the days leading up to this summoning, I made a decision.
If another grigori stepped into the circle already cursing me, I wouldn't offer a contract.
“I mean no insult to your master,” I said. “I have summoned you so that you may return with gifts.”
“A grigori is no fool.”
“At your feet are two boxes. You may inspect them if you wish. You are right that I am a humble human, and that is why I seek to trade with my betters so that I may learn from their grace. If your master likes these gifts, they are welcome to meet me to discuss trade.”
The grigori eyed the packages suspiciously. As she did, I pictured Solara in the same chains. She would look just as good, I realized, if not better. Yes, I needed to chain her up soon to see for myself.
“What is inside?” the grigori asked.
“Byron’s Blessing and Penny's Blessing. They are relaxation toys.”
“A grigori knows that humans lie and use traps.”
“You do not have to return with them if you think denying your master their gifts is wise,” I said. “If you wish to leave your master’s property on this plane, I understand.”
I should have felt bad for manipulating an emotionally stunted grigori. I didn't.
The grigori continued to stare at the boxes.
“You shouldn't tarry,” I said after a minute. “Your master will wonder where you are. Returning late and without their belongings would be dangerous for a grigori.”
With a huff, the buxom grigori grabbed the boxes and disappeared.
The Intoxicate Bombs inside the toys and hidden inside the frames of the boxes were far smaller than the city-enders we tested on recruits, but they would still spread Intoxicate+100 into the heavens.
Little by little, celestials would grow addicted to my seed, and addicts were nothing if not predictable.
Once the need was strong enough, they would do absolutely anything to satisfy it.
When Podni first proposed the idea of these bombs, her vision did not extend beyond the material plane.
Using small Byron Bombs as my first foray into invading the celestial planes had come from my own mind.
If they worked as I hoped, a few masturbating angeli would give me the foothold I needed to permanently defang any celestials who would harm me.
“Wow,” Solara said, staring at the now-empty summoning circle. “That was well done. I didn't think she would take them.”
“It's her master’s fault for not educating her. Treat her well and teach her critical thinking? She doesn't go back to the heavens with 2 sex toys from a strange pair of humans.”
“Somebody once told me rewarding good behavior is a powerful leadership tool,” Solara said.
She dipped her head and bit her lip, wiggling her body to add a little extra tease.
I smiled. “Whoever said that sounds pretty smart. You should listen to him. Now, let's summon another.”
Promoting a club at the bottom of a dungeon was a unique marketing challenge.
For normal people, a crawl that deep was a significant undertaking.
Even the crawl teams who did those runs regularly spent relatively little time at the very bottom of a dungeon.
Most of the run was getting there and back.
I couldn't pass out flyers with a date on them and expect to have enough people for the kind of opening an establishment like Penny’s Bar and Bathhouse deserved.
Very few crawlers, if any, would go through that kind of trouble to check out a bar they had never heard of, assuming they believed it existed at all.
I took inspiration from moonrock and dreamdust salesmen and offered a first taste. Low barrier to entry. So accessible, they couldn't help but try it.
For one week and one week only, adventurers could access Penny's from the first floors of the Borja, Flowst, Grubiit, Capital, Minsic, and Zaglis dungeons. After that, only the elite adventurers who crawled deep enough were welcome.
With first-floor teleporters in place, flyers felt more worthwhile. We fired up our printing press and hit every guild hall in the cities where we had teleporters, papering them with the announcement that Penny's Bar and Bathhouse was holding a grand opening.
If your paranoia is well-honed, you will have wondered why I would make myself and my property that accessible when I knew paladins were after me. What was stopping them from rushing the teleporters and overrunning my bar?
I could use the dungeon core to warp to safety if I felt I was in danger, but that assumed I was at the bar in the first place. I barely saw Byron’s Bathhouse as it was, and I hoped to spend even less time in Penny's.
Paladins who went through the trouble of breaking into Penny's would be functionally killing themselves, whether or not I was there to greet them.
All of the teleporters emptied into a room separate from the main establishment.
I assigned two silk soldiers for each teleporter, and if they couldn't stand up to a threat, they had orders to detonate the Unholy Apocalypse bombs hidden in their chests.
Ludwig the Lawful’s soulstone powered the wards, and Abby was mostly certain we could vaporize the teleporter room with bombs without hurting the rest of the establishment. As I said, I didn’t plan to be there often, so the risk of getting blown up didn’t bother me either.
On opening night, a few minutes before the teleporters went live, I sat at the bar with Mirko and talked through the legitimate businesses he had purchased on my behalf. Abby appeared next to me.
“A messenger from Lord Oliverry delivered this to the Ice Temple,” she said, offering me a sealed letter.
I opened it and read:
To celebrate your new venture, I offer you a gift: 10 of my demons. Their soul contracts are yours to do as you wish, but I do remember you fucking one of my demons quite often. Perhaps other humans would enjoy the same delicacy?
Here's to an eternity of success for us both.
Tear this letter vertically to accept the soul contract transfer. Do anything else to decline.
I grinned.
“Good news?” Mirko asked.
I looked around the bar. Mirko had it staffed with a bevy of desirable escorts, prostitutes with enough sophistication to make conversation but not so much that they would recoil at the idea of bathing an adventurer.
They were recruited from all over the kingdom. Not Silk-grade, but still exceptional.
“How would you feel about a few more working girls? Say a more exotic offering?”
“What do you have in mind?”
I tore the letter.
10 frost demons, their bodies as blue and bare as the first demon I ever fucked, appeared in the bar. They dropped to their knees and bowed.
Mirko's eyes went wide, and his mouth went still. This was a bit much, even for him, but oh well. They were here now, and they were all superb with a decent variety in sizes and body types.
“Welcome,” I said, “You can stand. Now that you serve me, you will be working here as waitresses, bath attendants, and entertainers. No hurting guests, and do anything that Mirko tells you.”
I pointed to the bearded man behind the bar.
“He's your boss, and he reports to me. Now, I treat my women like treasures. You will each have your own private quarters in my city, and you will have the freedom to roam that city and do as you please on your days off. You will get paid for your work, and that money is yours to do with as you wish. Any questions?”
10 blue heads shook.
“Good. Mirko, get them up to speed.”
I used the dungeon core to blink to my office overlooking the bar.
“New hires?” Purity asked.