Chapter 35
When we departed the palace for the evening, Podni and I opted to continue our night rather than end it, so we enjoyed a stroll through the night market and found a tavern whose owner also ran the bakery next door.
That meant more sweet treats for Podni. In a few hours, she would be undead, so I didn’t mind indulging her again.
“I keep looking for the trick,” she said to break a long stretch of silence.
“What do you mean?”
“When is the floor going to disappear and drop me in a pit of snakes? When will a bunch of people cover their mouths and laugh at me for falling for this prank?”
“I have the same thoughts sometimes, to be honest. Too good to be true.”
“Why is it so hard to enjoy something good? We spend so much of our lives hoping good things will happen, but when they do, we waste that time being afraid of them.”
“Of ruining it, or it betraying you,” I added to extend her thought.
“Or having it taken from you.”
“Yeah, that too. Is that what you’re experiencing now?”
Podni nodded. “I love you and the girls, and I know that this is what I want, but I’m so damn scared, Byron. If all this gets ripped out of my hands… I don’t think I could bounce back.”
“You’re allowed to be afraid.”
“I’ve never seen a drop of fear from Ithaca or Penny or Solara. They believe, without doubt, that our eternity is guaranteed.”
I wobbled my head as I thought. “That doesn’t mean they never worry about the future.”
“I don’t think they do.”
“First of all, we’re different people. You aren’t them, and they aren’t you. Those differences are what make our lives fun and interesting because we’re surrounded by great minds who keep finding new ways to surprise us. That means we respond to challenges differently as well.”
“Purity and I were talking one night,” Podni began. “She told me about a conversation you and she had where you talked about what it was like dying and coming back.”
I listened. Purity and I had indeed talked about that moment on many occasions.
“You describe this life as your second. You didn’t come back and resume your first. You started over. Purity suggested I think about this as not a new chapter in my life, but a new book. Undeath is a whole different kind of life.”
“That sounds wise,” I said.
“What if I’m afraid to ‘die?’ Mortal Podni is about to go away forever. I know that. I’m ready for my second life, and I can’t wait for it to start, but what if I screw that life up too? I’m worried I’ll squander this amazing blessing.”
“Conversations like this are one of the reasons I love you.”
“I don’t understand.”
I reached for Podni’s hand. “You almost never put your guard down. Your eyes are always scanning, looking for potential threats. That mentality kept us alive on multiple occasions. You were paying attention and helped us to act in the right ways at the right times. Becoming undead isn’t going to change that about you, and I don’t want it to, but you will need to do one thing differently to keep from losing your mind. ”
“What’s that?”
“You have to let someone else take watch sometimes,” I said.
“We trust you to see threats and opportunities, so trust us when we say that it’s safe to relax.
The way your brain is put together, you’ll never actually turn off that fear of screwing something up, but you don’t always have to listen when it talks.
So listen to me: You’re an amazingly capable person.
You’re your own harshest critic. And you never have to handle life alone again. Not ever.”
Podni’s eyes were glossy with tears. “Can we get married now?”
I dumped a bunch of currency on the table, hoping I had done the conversion correctly. “Follow me.”
We went out the door and down an alley.
“Keep up if you can.”
I Silk Walked into the sky, climbing up and up toward the clouds and the stars. Podni used her Air Steering ability to chase me, one quick leap at a time. Her feet seemed to find purchase on nothing at all as she sped to catch me. In between, she beat her black wings to give her even more speed.
Up and up I went until the clouds were within reach. As soon as I paused, before I could turn around, Podni latched onto my back. She giggled as she put her lips to my neck.
“I love our life,” she said as she worked her way up to just behind my ear. “You understand me better than I do.”
I turned to kiss her, ending up with her legs wrapped around my hips, me standing in mid-air with a hot summer breeze wafting by. Every peck was accompanied by a slight moan, as if every touch of our lips sparked deep pleasure within her.
She paused to catch her breath and pressed her forehead to mine. “You make me feel so safe. Please. Marry me. Make me your wife.”
I held up the bite-sized golden ball. She snatched it with her teeth, without hesitation, and swallowed. Her eyes unfocused for a moment when she read the notification that she was now Immune to Holy.
The kisses resumed. She unzipped my pants, pulling me free. She stroked as she held the fabric of her dinner outfit aside and guided me into her.
Her back and thighs flexed each time she slowly lifted her hips and brought them back down, repeating the motion at a gentle, sensual pace.
I felt her adoration in her every kiss. I felt her passion with every smooth insertion.
Her love seemed to stop time. Every plane and every universe halted so that we could have this moment to ourselves.
Just us and the stars.
I used Touch of Abyssal Undeath as I squeezed her close.
She gasped and closed her eyes, leaning back to savor the sensation of abyssal scales forming at the base of her skull and spreading to the tops of her shoulders.
“I will always need you and want you,” she whispered.
“You will always have me.”
And we continued our slow fuck in the sky. No abilities. No tentacles. No debauchery.
We made true love, and my life was beautiful.
The next morning, while Podni escorted Queen Ophonia and her security through a silk noose teleporter, I joined King Jillias for a walk in his gardens. I suspected that part of his motivation was keeping tabs on me should his wife go missing or be held for ransom.
Which was fair. Wisdom is often mistaken for paranoia, and the King was right to keep me within his walls to ensure peace.
Not because I intended to betray him, because I didn’t, but rather because it demonstrated the kind of awareness I liked to see in a business partner.
Arranging to be with me right now was a simple way to be certain of his queen’s safety. I respected that.
“I know of two kings who have attempted to locate Sanctuary South in the southern lands,” King Jillias revealed as we walked between rose bushes that alternated red and dark purple.
“Oh?”
“They failed, or at least, that’s what they told their allies.”
“The wasteland is a big place.”
“Surely the true answer is not so simple. This barrier we have heard so much about–it occurs to me that no one has seen it from the outside. I do not expect a confirmation or a denial, but I believe that barrier makes your city invisible.”
“Very astute,” I said. And also very wrong.
“Do you fear your isolation could be used against you?” the King asked. “If Queen Ashley were to decide to close your gate, you would be cut off from the world. Assuming it’s true what you say about your teleporters being unable to move goods, that gate is your lifeline.”
“Sanctuary South has the infrastructure to be entirely self-sufficient. If the world does choose to cut us off, that makes me even more glad I chose the southern wastelands.”
“Why is that?”
“When a person is banished or cast out from their community, there are those who stand on the walls to watch how that person will react. Will they cry? Will they beg forgiveness? The cruelest among us might choose banishment specifically because they wish to witness the suffering that follows. If the world cuts us off, they will simply never see us again. They won’t get to watch from a distance to see what we do next. ”
“You have an interesting perspective on the minds of men,” King Jillias said. “It is more tempered and more insightful than the stories would suggest, and I do not mean offense in saying that.”
“No offense taken. What do the stories suggest?”
“That you are a sex-crazed fiend who revels in violence and chaos.”
“That’s all true,” I admitted.
“All of it? One of the stories we learned of involved an incident where bandits attacked part of a city, called Flowst, if I recall correctly. According to the rumors, you singlehandedly slayed all 40 of them and then piled the pieces of their bodies on the road. They also say you personally carried every bloody piece.”
“I don’t recall the number of bandits,” I said. “Forty sounds like a lot, but it could be accurate.”
“Why did you do that with the corpses?”
“I didn’t know who I could trust, and my neighbors had suffered enough already.
Making the consequences of violence visible is a good way to deter more of it.
And in case you’re unsure of how to ask about the paladins, it’s true that I killed them too.
And yes, I bed a lot of women and sometimes do so in the middle of dungeons.
What the stories leave out is that every one of those conflicts came to me, and every woman I’ve screwed chose to have me.
“Ludwig the Lawful cornered me at the wedding reception of Queen Invia and Queen Ashley. He implied that if I did not accept his duel, then the guests at the party could be caught in the violence. Paulson the Pure tracked me down to an inn room where I was spending the weekend with someone I love. He made the innkeeper fetch me from my room and proceeded to make me an offer similar to Ludwig’s.
“I ask you in return: Who is the greater danger to society? The people who incite the violence or the people who are forced to face it?”
“You suggest that paladins are not good people?”