Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
August 2024
J ames sat in the back row of the audience at the Sutton Book Club, listening to a woman he’d once loved to recite the story of their first meeting. His hands were clammy, and he had his head bowed as though frightened anyone would turn and see his face and realize he was the man from the memoir. Although that was impossible. He’d been a young man then. He’d been—as Stella said— extraordinarily handsome.
It was disconcerting.
He thought he might weep or throw up.
“And that’s when I knew J had secrets,” Stella finished the chapter. “I just had to wait and hope those secrets didn’t involve some other girl. Not that I was so desperate to fall head over heels. All I really wanted was an adventure. I never imagined my life would change for good.”
Stella closed the book and looked out across the audience. The audience burst into applause. Many smiled manically, as though they’d actually been in Athens in July 2001, as though they could feel the warm, sticky air and taste the ouzo. But they couldn’t. Only James really could.
“Thank you,” Stella said into the mic. Her cheeks were flushed, as they got when she was nervous or warm or overwhelmed with love. “I was deathly nervous before this reading, but you all made it easy for me.” She took a sip from a glass of water and smiled. “Now, you’re welcome to ask any questions you might have about the text.”
A sea of hands went up. James raised his eyebrows. Maybe this is my chance to leave. To hurry outside and get on the ferry and pretend none of this ever happened. But something kept him glued to his seat.
The first question was simple. It came from a woman in a red dress with black hair. “What was it like to dive back into this story after so many years?”
Stella’s eyes glittered. “It was a bit like dreaming. I felt like I had to enter a different form of consciousness if that makes sense. I wanted to see it all again. To really remember. I consulted the internet for help and learned that some people get hypnotized to reach into their past. I didn’t go quite that far. I guess my memories were mostly intact. Maybe I’ll try hypnosis for the next book.”
Everyone laughed, and James thought, She was always charming. She still is.
Despite his fears, James had read The Athens Affair that summer. He’d read it in a single sitting in the sunlight at the bar near his house, sipping light beer and feeling his heart pound. When the bartender came by to drop off his bill, James looked at her with tears in his eyes.
She remembered everything.
She didn’t leave anything out.
But James hadn’t imagined he’d come to the book launch. That required a jolt of bravery that he’d left behind in the year 2001.
He wouldn’t have come, in fact, if Taylor hadn’t called him two days ago and started screaming at him. “Why didn’t you tell me it was you?”
James’s heart had nearly burst. “Let’s meet in private so I can explain,” he’d said tentatively. And then he’d begged, “Please, don’t tell your TikTok followers.”
Taylor hadn’t been thrilled with this last part. She’d obviously wanted to use the book’s fame to speak to her followers. But she’d respected her father’s wishes and agreed. They had plans to chat about The Athens Affair next week when she got back from a brief summer tour in the Northwest.
But Taylor had ordered him to go to Nantucket Island for the book launch.
“Won’t it be wild to see her again?”
It was wild. But James wasn’t sure what to do with the aching in his stomach and the fear in his heart. What would she do when she saw him again? Would she throw the book at his head?
The question session continued. There was no end to the readers’ curiosity. They asked about Stella’s upbringing in Nantucket, how she informed her family that she was writing, and whether or not she was currently single or dating.
At this, Stella glanced at a man in the front row and gave him a soft smile. James’s heart lurched. Obviously, she has a boyfriend. It was so stupid to come here.
Not that I came here to get back together with her!
That would be insane.
Am I insane?
“I just got out of something,” Stella admitted to the crowd. “It broke me a little bit, but I’m healing. I think this book taught me a few lessons about love. Some of them were lessons I’d already learned that I had to learn again.”
Who broke her heart? James wondered. Who is that idiot?
The Q a few of them looked annoyed at him for taking too much of their time with silly questions. Over their heads, he searched for Stella, but it was as though the great beast of her fans had swallowed her up.
Did that really just happen?
A woman twisted around to look at him, then whispered into her friend’s ear. What was she saying? Did she suspect something? Already, a massive queue was forming from the big table in front, through the chairs, and down the stairs of the Sutton Book Club. If James got in back, he’d be here for the next two or three hours, waiting around like a chump. Had he asked the wrong question? Should he have stood and said, It’s me! My love for you has probably destroyed every other relationship I’ve ever had! No. He had to be subtle.
Subtlety was an art form.
Suddenly, a man appeared through the crowd and walked right up to him. James recognized him as the guy Stella had looked at in the crowd earlier when she’d been asked if she was single or dating.
The man stuck his hand out to shake James’s. His eyes reflected something. It was as though he already knew. But how?
“Hi,” he said. “My name is Matt Fallon. I was married to Stella for fifteen years.”
James’s lips parted with surprise. He shook Matt’s hand because he didn’t know how to get out of it. “Good to meet you.”
Matt let his hand drop. A moment of silence passed. “Are you him?”
Sweat billowed across James’s neck. He eyed the door and hunted for excuses. He certainly didn’t want to talk to Stella’s ex-husband about their long-ago love affair.
“I’m not sure what you mean. But I have to catch a ferry,” he said instead. “Nice to meet you, Matt.”
James slunk away from Stella’s ex-husband and bucked out the door. Already, he felt the shimmering sun on his face. Already, he had imagined telling this story to Taylor the following week. She’d say, “I’m glad you went, but you were a total wimp when you got there.” And James would have to agree with her. A total wimp.
James had spent his career writing about other people.
Somebody had finally written about him.
And he just couldn’t handle it.
It felt ironic.
Suddenly, a voice rang out from the door of the Sutton Book Club. “James!”
James was already at the corner. His heart thwacked in his throat. But Stella’s footsteps came closer and closer. She was running. He could hear her gasping. “James?”
She was chasing him. James considered running faster. Instead, he slowed and turned around to face her.
Stella’s face was marred with rage. She looked all the more beautiful for it. He could see her at twenty-one—wild and free, dancing on a Grecian beach, swimming naked in the sea.
What a tragedy that we had to get older, he thought.
“Are you just going to leave?” Stella demanded. “Just like that?”
James had tears in his eyes. He hadn’t rehearsed what to say.
Suddenly, James realized that fifty pairs of eyes were watching them from the front lawn of the Sutton Book Club. Cameras and phones were raised; flashes were coming from expensive-looking cameras. A few journalists ran across the street to get a better angle.
One of them called out, “Hey! J! Look over here!”
J. They know it’s me.
James put his hand in front of his face and sighed. Stella glanced across the street. She looked confused, as though the idea that people were so fascinated with her life was still preposterous to her. She’d always been so modest. That hadn’t changed.
“Listen,” James said. “I better get going.”
Stella’s eyes returned to his. Her gaze felt like a lightning bolt.
As discreetly as he could, James removed his business card from his wallet and stuck it into her hand as they shook goodbye. “Give me a call when you can,” he said. “I’m in the city.”
Stella nodded and tucked the card into her front pocket. There was nothing else to say.
James turned and walked as quickly as he could around the corner. A few photographers followed him, but he got into his rental car and sped away. He decided not to grab the very next ferry and instead circled the island for a while, listening to music as loud as he could and screaming at the top of his lungs.
He’d seen Stella Sutton again.
He’d braved her book launch.
Maybe it meant he was still himself.
He was still that twentysomething with nothing to lose.
It felt good to know that. It felt good to feel like himself again.