Willow Vale

1. Lila

CHAPTER 1

Lila

Every now and then I’m hit with an overwhelming sense of panic.

An onslaught of an emotion carried by an oncoming bus approaching at full speed. A bus I always thought I could see slowly heading my way that I could somehow avoid. Some days, I managed to step back onto the curb and narrowly avoided it entirely.

Today was not that kind of day.

Releasing a curse under my breath, I ran down the sidewalk as fast as my legs could take me. Panting and barely getting any air into my lungs, it was one of those times when I was acutely aware of how out of shape I was. I really needed to work out.

I really needed to do a lot of things.

Which is exactly why I was running.

My little brother, River, giggled as I jostled him with every step, holding onto me for dear life. His curls bouncing atop his head. “Lila, bad word.”

“Exactly, so don’t repeat after me, buddy,” I said as I reached the preschool with only a minute to spare. I huffed as I sat him down, struggling to catch my breath from all the rushing I did after sleeping through my alarm— again —jumping out of bed with my heart in my throat, quickly getting breakfast ready, and waking River up for school. He fought me every chance he got, which was the last thing I needed at 6:45 in the morning on a Tuesday.

I barely managed to throw on an oversized sweatshirt and hop into a pair of faded jeans before we were out the door. I was so ready for summer to get here if only to have a little reprieve.

“Okay, you got your lunch in your backpack. And don’t forget to give your book to Ms. Walker when you see her, okay?”

He nodded as I knelt to fix his hair. Staring into those curious deep blues that were the opposite of my dull brown eyes, always made me smile. River was just shy of four years old, and full of more energy than I could keep up with lately. His chestnut brown hair resembled mine, but it was getting shaggy since he refused to let me give him a decent haircut. Unlike River’s hair, mine was an untamable mass of thick curls that rarely complied on a good day. Now that I thought about it, I needed a haircut too.

Given I had no time to do anything other than put it up into a messy bun that morning, I knew I had to look like one hot mess.

I sure as hell felt like one.

Once he was all set, Mrs. Green, one of River’s teachers, opened the door for us. She gave me a kind smile after I apologized for nearly being late…again.

“Love you, little man,” I said as River looked over his shoulder and waved excitedly at me before he took Mrs. Green’s hand and she led him into his classroom.

As soon as he was out of sight, my smile dropped as I looked at the time on my phone. I was going to be late for work… again .

Groaning, I spun on my heel and jogged back toward my rusty truck. “Can this day get any worse?”

“ They fired you? ” Desi practically shrieked in the Pepto-Bismol pink booth she sat in across from me.

After I’d changed into proper clothing for work, I ran into the bank like a mad woman with an apology already on my tongue, locked and loaded.

I’d barely been given a glance from my manager, who always looked at everyone with a scrunched-up nose as if everyone in his immediate vicinity reeked of bad BO and stale beer.

News flash, he was the one who carried the natural perfume of a person who could burn the eyebrows off a passerby.

I swirled my spoon in my steaming mug of coffee and shrugged. “He said I wasn’t a right fit for the company going forward. Forgetting the fact that there were only three people working in the bank to begin with since the place opened in the 1950s. I’m getting my last paycheck next week, so at least there’s that,” I groaned, dropping my head onto the table. “What am I going to do?”

After getting fired for the second time this year from another job I hated—but tolerated almost as much as my employers tolerated me—I called my best friend in my time of need. Desi worked at the bar across town and typically stayed up late, but all it took was for one SOS text from me this morning and she told me to meet her at Sally’s Diner to debrief .

We’d taken the booth at the window overlooking downtown where I could see the mountains, still covered in snow, peeking over the buildings. Crisp green leaves filled the trees and flowers started to bloom this far into May, and buildings were decorated with hanging wooden signs inviting customers inside.

Desi hummed. “Okay, let’s think.”

“About how I’m a failure?” I asked without lifting my head. I waved a limp hand in the air. “I think the whole town knows that by now.” That was the beauty and the curse of our small town in Wyoming. Everyone knows everyone. Everything…

Desi smacked my hand. “Stop that. I meant damage control, babe. Damage. Control . It’s not the end of the world. We just have to think of who is hiring in town. It can’t be that hard…”

“It’s May, every college kid is bound to come back to their summer job in town if the high schoolers haven’t already claimed them. I already looked up job listings and the only thing available is a janitor’s position in a high school in the next town over. I’m the definition of screwed.”

“What about Sally’s? Hey, Birdie! You guys hiring by any chance?” Desi hollered over her shoulder, resting her arm atop the booth. The movement made her pin straight red hair dance around her shoulders.

I stared flatly at my best friend who I’d known since we were in elementary school, unsurprised that her first instinct was to announce that I was a jobless loser. Her emerald eyes were gleaming with determination though, so I had to appreciate that she was committed to help me find a new job.

Desiree Boone was not a woman who gave up easily or let anyone else give up when things got tough. It was one of the reasons I loved her so much. She never let me give up no matter how many times I wanted to in the past.

I looked around the diner, relieved to see that there was only one other person there. Mrs. McKinley—who always sat in the corner of the diner drinking from a steaming mug of coffee—was working on a crossword puzzle with a frown on her face. Unsurprised but equally annoyed that Desi was disrupting her peaceful morning.

Just like old times.

I cast the surly woman an apologetic glance when she narrowed her eyes at us like she always did ever since we were teenagers.

The retro style booths lining the walls and windows were the same color as the front door of Sally’s Diner —pink. The only thing that wasn’t pink were the plates, the black and white checkered tiles on the floor, and a single white streak running down the center of the booths. Nearly all the framed retro-styled posters on the walls had some shade of pink too. The owner of Sally’s Diner sure loved her pink.

Our waitress, Birdie, chimed as she made her way over to refill Mrs. McKinley’s mug again. “Sorry, hon. Seasonal positions were already filled by a couple of students coming back to town.”

I gave Desi a pointed glance that said, I told you so.

The panic I’d been feeling all morning revs back up and the tears caused by my frustration sting the back of my eyes. I blew out a breath, looking out onto the street as people trailed up and down the sidewalks.

A gentle hand reaches across the table and lands atop mine.

“I hate seeing you like this,” Desi said gently. Now that I was on the verge of bawling my eyes out, there was no doubt that she knew I was feeling as helpless as I did four years ago when River came into my life and I stepped up to raise him.

The sound of my cellphone chiming announced an incoming text, and I checked the screen. Only to see that it was from the last person I wanted to talk to right now. Desi noticed my mood taking another drastic turn when her gaze shifted to my phone, but before she could say anything I flipped it over and ignored the next round of texts my mother was bound to send in rapid succession. Like clockwork.

I didn’t talk to my mother. At least, I tried not to.

She didn’t live in Willow Vale anymore, but she visited every now and then when she felt like it. Sometimes, we would go months without talking or seeing each other, and I felt these swirls of emotions all at once. They went from relief to worry to anxiety—all of them filling my head until it started pounding. An incessant drumroll begging to meet its abrupt end before some eye-opening revelation made my entire world come to a screeching halt.

Because that was what inevitably happened wherever my mother was concerned.

Until she needed something again.

Irene was hardly a responsible parent when I was a kid. Sometimes I think it was a miracle I survived into adulthood. If anything, I’d started training to become a parent when I was ten years old, cleaning her up after she had a weeklong bender with her friends and showed up reeking of whatever stained her clothes. Wondering and worrying about where she was when she didn’t show up after a few days.

“Lila?” The sound of Desi’s concerned voice forced me out of any thoughts surrounding Irene North.

I blew out a breath and exercised my usual optimistic tone when shit hits the fan, “It’s okay. I just need to dig deeper. Someone in town is bound to hire eventually. Rent’s not due until next month and I still have some money saved up. It’ll be okay.”

“I can always lend you?—”

“No,” I cut her off before she could offer.

I didn’t want to ask Desi for money. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I relied on my best friend for money. Or anyone else for that matter. I made it this far on my own since I was a teenager, and I did the same when I was twenty and took River in after Irene wandered off. I could do this on my own too. I had to do this on my own.

“You know I love you, Desi. But no, thank you. I’ll figure it out.”

“I have no doubt that you will,” she said before muttering under her breath despite knowing I can hear her perfectly, “Even if you’re as stubborn as a mule sometimes.” She tapped her index finger against her lips, her red nail polish gleaming. Then, her eyes widened like she’d just been struck by a sudden epiphany. “Actually, I think I have a job in mind for you.”

“Okay, what is it?”

She asked with a sly grin stretching across her lips, and I knew that look could only mean trouble. “Do you have any experience bartending?”

I blinked. Any other job and I would have jumped at the opportunity. I was desperate enough to take anything at this point.

Except for that.

“Absolutely not.”

“But—”

“I’m not going anywhere near The Pint. Not going to happen.”

“If it’s because of the bar, it’s been?—”

“It’s not only because of that and you know it.” I swore to never step foot in a bar again after spending most of my adolescence hunting Irene down. But that wasn’t the only reason I’d rather yank my own teeth out than ever set foot in Willow Vale’s most popular bar in town. It was because of who owned The Rusty Pint now.

Desi raised her hands in defeat but that glint in her eyes remained. “Whatever you say. But let me know if you change your mind.”

Yeah, that definitely wasn’t happening.