32. Lila
CHAPTER 32
Lila
Once River was tucked in for the night, I closed the door behind me and went to join Travis out on the back porch. He’d invited us to spend the night yet again, though I was starting to wonder if he had to anymore, since we pretty much went to his house right after every dinner.
It just became a natural routine of ours now.
He was sitting on one of the chairs, seeming lost in thought as he looked toward the trees surrounding the property. Stars twinkled in the cloudless blanket of night, the full moon illuminated the mountains, and the smell of summer reminded me of a fresh field of wildflowers.
It was hotter than usual, so I was glad I’d opted to wear my blue summer dress with a V-neck tonight. I caught Travis watching me with a look that spoke volumes on what he thought when he saw me in the main house. He’d been working all day on the ranch and went to check on the bar after Manny called to tell him that a pipe had burst in the bathroom.
I was glad he’d first seen me wearing this dress at the main house and not at his place, otherwise I wasn’t too sure if there was any chance we would’ve had dinner with his family tonight.
With everything that had happened over the last month, we’d barely had any time to ourselves. There was always something or someone needing one of us. Our days were so packed that by the time we made it to either of our places for the night, we were passing out on the couch in the middle of watching a movie.
In a way, maybe it was a good thing. We were taking things slow. But maybe, it was time to take the next step.
When I closed the door behind me, Travis turned his head when he heard me approach him on the porch. “He asleep?”
“Out like a light.” I let him take my hand and pull me onto his lap. “He was quite the busy bee in the kitchen with Amelia all day today. He loves the ranch but there’s something about being in the kitchen that sparks his interest too. I hope that’ll stick.”
“More than ranching?” he teased, knowing I’d be worried the whole time if River ever decided he wanted to become a cowboy. Travis brushed a strand of hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. “Mom and Dad love him. Finn gets a kick out of him too.”
“He has that effect on people. It’s hard not to love him.” I smiled.
“That is true. It must run in the family then,” he murmured. I knew he wasn’t talking about Irene. We sat in comfortable silence until he confessed, “I’m worried about Wren.”
I nodded. “She’s still recovering. Not being able to ride must be hard to wrap her head around. It’ll take time.”
“I keep thinking that maybe I should talk to her. She’s…different now. I can’t explain it.”
“Then you should. I think that would be good for her. ”
“No news on Irene, right?”
I sighed. “No. If she does somehow manage to get my number again, I’ll just take it from there. I don’t want her to ever get to me the way she has in the past. Though, I doubt she will now that she knows I don’t have money to get her out of her debts.”
“Even if you did, she doesn’t deserve that from you, Delilah.”
“I know that.” I shook my head, playing with one of the buttons of his shirt. “My mother has never been perfect. But there were rare days when she was sober that I remember in bits and pieces. She used to be kind and funny, she wanted to spend time with me when I was kid. Back then, she was healthier. Now, she’s just…someone else. I wish things were different.”
“I know.” And then he said, “Promise me that if she shows up again, you won’t get involved in whatever trouble she’s gotten herself into. If you run into her in town or at the bar, you tell me. You tell Desi. Anyone. Don’t even think about going somewhere alone with her.”
I nodded again, already dreading if it were to happen. What would I do if she started another scene, or worse, did something crazy out of desperation?
Travis gripped my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look up at him. His blue eyes were sharp with determination as he said again, “Promise me, Delilah.”
“I promise,” I finally said. “Thank you for always being so good to me.”
“Why does that sound like it’s a bad thing?” He chuckled, clearly teasing me.
“It’s not. I just can’t seem to get used to it. For some reason, it always takes me by surprise.”
He stared at me for a long moment before leaning forward, putting his hands on my waist to keep me in place as he rested his forehead against mine. “I guess I’ll just have to make you get used to it.”
“Travis…”
“Woman, I’m saying this in the nicest way possible,” he groaned, “just shut up and kiss me.”
Hearing the desperation in his voice had me doing as he asked. I shifted on his lap, straddling his lap so I could face him. I placed my hand on his cheek before I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. It was slow at first. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer as I deepened the kiss, licking his lips until he parted them. His hands guided my hips forward until I was slowly rocking against him on my own.
When I nipped at his bottom lip, Travis groaned. I gasped when he suddenly picked me up and carried me into the house.
I laughed. “Where are we…”
I lost my words when he carried me upstairs like I weighed nothing and kicked open his bedroom door before closing it behind him.
“I want you, Delilah.” He dropped me onto his bed, leaving me panting with my heart beating a hundred miles an hour as I watched him pull his shirt open, revealing his broad chest and abs that made me want to run my hands all over them. “If you don’t want this, tell me now and we’ll stop.” My blood felt like it was on fire under his darkened gaze, and I shivered. My chest rose and fell as I took him in greedily, not caring that he could see my shameless ogling. I could tell he was fighting with his need to touch me and his desire to respect what I wanted, how far I wanted this to go.
“I don’t want to stop,” I said as I got onto my knees, forcing myself not to tear my eyes away from his as I pulled my hair out of its ponytail, letting it fall around my shoulders in thick waves. I was finally ready to give in to what I wanted for once, finally allowing myself to be with the one man who had ruled my every thought for so long. “I want you, Travis.”
“Then get over here,” he commanded, drawing out a shudder at his words that left no room for argument. I crawled over to him before standing. He was towering over me now, staring at my dress like it had personally insulted him.
He ran the back of his finger over my shoulder and down my arm, making goose bumps invade my skin.
“Did you wear this dress for me tonight?”
“N-no. I wore it for me.”
“Liar.” He grinned, pulling the strap down before kissing my shoulder. “Turn around.”
I did as he said, feeling like I was a live wire—aware of every touch and whisper between us. I felt his hand tug on the string tied around my back until the fabric of my dress loosened. His teeth nipped my shoulder, and I gasped. He ran his tongue over the spot to soothe the sting before he finally tugged my dress down until it was on the floor. He unclasped my bra, and I tossed it to the side before his hands were on me. I arched into his touch in time to feel his lips on my neck. We moved against each other in a constant push and pull full of want that filled the air with heaviness I felt within every fiber of my being. We were so close I could feel Travis’s heart beating against his chest, and yet it didn’t feel like we were close enough.
Travis kissed me like it was the last thing he’d ever do on this earth.
He kissed me like a man starved.
A man who desperately needed oxygen to take another breath .
He was greedy and restless, the same way I was but worked so hard not to be. Until now.
I whispered his name as he placed kisses on my neck and chest, slowly making his way down my body. I dug my hands into his hair before moving down to his back, holding him to me until I was intoxicated by his scent. I shivered when his hands explored me, moving down my chest until I felt a thrill spiral around in my belly, turning into a sharp sting like a needle pricking a finger when he rasped into my ear, “I want to go down on you.”
“I...I’d like that.”
He laughed at my clumsy words which only made me release a breathless one of my own.
Travis slowly laid me down on the bed, his hand gently guiding me until I felt the cool fabric of the sheets against my exposed skin. I gripped the comforter as I felt his breath caress my neck, moving to my collarbone, then my chest and stomach, all the way down to my knees where he slowly eases them open. I propped myself up on my elbows when he lowered himself between them, finally bringing his mouth to me. I jolted at the sensation of feeling him against me and his hands came up to my hips to steady me. Then he was rocking me until I started helping him, moving together as one. Chasing the feeling that had me utterly lost to every minuscule sensation. Until my heart felt like it would burst out of my chest. Until I told him as much if only to get him to give me more. More of him, of this, of us.
“Travis—”
“You’re so beautiful, Delilah. Devastating,” he whispered against my hip before he finally pulled away from me and sat on his heels. The sight of him—his hair all disheveled, eyes dark and consuming—is my undoing. I didn’t drink but, if I did, I’d say Travis was what I thought a shot of tequila tasted like. Rough, burning desire that melted all my worries, all my thoughts away until there was nothing but him. Making me drown in every wave he made me feel until I’m desperate for air.
I reached for him, capturing his face in my hands to bring him to me. I felt the way his breath got caught in his throat as our lips crashed together, becoming a needy mess when my hands moved between us. His teeth sank into my bottom lip when I unbuckled his belt, wrapped my hand around him. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling when he dropped his head against my shoulder, rocking into my touch as he said my name on a hiss. Both a reprimand and an anguished request.
“No more.” His hands gripped mine, trapping them on either side of my head. Our urgency to feel each other slows down as he takes over, drawing out soft sighs from me as he told me how badly he’s wanted this. I made sure to tell him I felt the same. “I need to be inside you, Delilah.”
“Condom?” I asked him, barely able to recognize my own voice.
When the tenderness shared between us was once again overruled by our need, he pushed off me and wandered to the nightstand. The sound of foil tearing made me shiver before he was crawling over me again. A heartbeat passes between us, and then he was easing into me. It was slow and methodical, careful when I tell him to let me adjust. Travis never treated me like I was breakable before, but tonight every inch of him seemed to covet me like delicate porcelain.
When we started moving together, the world around us disintegrates completely. There were only shadows surrounding us, the only sounds heard were our breaths. His mouth makes me dizzy, and my hands dig into his back, marking him as if I needed to make sure he’d always be mine.
His hips push against mine and I gasped, “Travis. ”
“Is this okay?” he asked, trying to slow down when he seemed to lose control.
I nod, it’s the only thing I can do as I get lost in everything that was him. His scent, his touch, the reverent way he said my name. It was all so perfect I couldn’t believe we’d gone without feeling one another for so long.
“You have no idea how many times I dreamed about this.” He confessed.
“Is this as good as your dreams?” I asked, running my fingers through his hair.
“You’re perfect, Delilah. So fucking perfect that I’m scared I’ll wake up and find out this was a dream too.”
My heart soars at his words. My body reacting as if I were about to shatter into a million pieces.
“This is real. We’re real.” I said as I kissed him, rocking against him to tell him I didn’t want slow and careful anymore. I only wanted him. Forever.
Words weren’t necessary anymore. We spent the rest of the night just like that, lost in each other—demanding more and more—until there was nothing left of either of us.