Chapter 25 Rhiannon, Promises & Returning Home
RHIANNON, PROMISES & RETURNING HOME
DISGRACED MAYOR STEPS DOWN!
In a shocking turn of events—which is saying something, since Dragons has been shaken by several in recent days—Mayor Jedidiah Fowler has resigned, citing personal reasons, and has ended his reelection campaign.
His statement also cites health reasons and relocation to the mainland as additional rationale for him stepping aside.
Crow’s Nest is still reeling from the destruction of Rhiannon Crowhart’s new antique bookstore, Crow & Cat.
The cause of the fire remains undisclosed.
Our sources have confirmed that the Fire Chief has been unable to establish the origin of the fire, and an ATF forensic arson investigators have been invited to assess the site.
Watch this space!
—Crow’s Caw
The second floor was gone entirely. Rhiannon walked through the debris and the destruction of the main showroom, her boots crushing glass under the heels. The sound was unnerving, and after a few steps she stopped, simply looking around.
Hours and days and weeks she had poured into this place were all ruined.
Walls that stood for centuries were either broken-down bricks on gutted floors or skeleton bones sticking out from the husk of the Crow & Cat.
Her Crow & Cat. Not the Atelier anymore.
She realized she hadn’t called it that in weeks, always using the new name. The one she came up with.
And so was this space. She could see it as it had been before the fire ripped it apart and her storm scattered the pieces.
Gleaming under the chandelier, wide windows letting the setting sun in, rows and rows of books, leather spines like soldiers on parade on oaken shelves.
And above all, hers. Crow & Cat, unlike the Atelier, was hers.
“All the fighting against it and it had been mine all along.” Her words disappeared into the chilly morning air, a small cloud of sadness and regret.
“You can say that about many things, Rhy. This town. Your family. Prudence.”
Rhiannon flinched, surprised at her sister being so close to her. Ceridwen wore a leather jacket that hugged her prettily, and her wrist was in a cast with little green flowers on it.
“Deryn drew them.” Ceridwen sounded defensive, and Rhiannon smiled. Then her smile faded away. It was time to give voice to wounds that had been festering for a long time. And what better place than the one where so many of these issues took center stage?
“I don’t think I thanked you for summoning Deryn early to the island.”
Ceridwen furrowed her brow, the small wrinkle adding more worry to the already pale face, but she said nothing, just nodded, allowing Rhiannon to speak.
“Her linking hands with you at the fire probably saved my life. Thank you.”
Ceridwen stepped closer and laid her healthy hand on Rhiannon’s cheek.
“My sister was in trouble, Rhy. I’d bring the moon down if that meant saving you. Even from yourself.”
“I knew what I was doing.”
“So you already said to Deryn. But did you really, Rhy?” Ceridwen’s face was earnest, and Rhiannon couldn’t deny her an answer.
“I thought I did.”
Ceridwen sighed. “So you wanted to die.”
“I understood that it was a distinct possibility, yes. But I didn’t have a death wish, if that’s what you’re asking. Pru has to live. It’s as simple as that. Another woman can’t lose her life because I wasn’t enough.”
Ceridwen’s second sigh ended on what sounded like a growl.
“Pru told me a bit about the nonsense you’ve been spouting about Margaux, and let me tell you, if that woman hadn’t been dead already, I’d put her in the ground myself.”
Rhiannon bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Goddess, she had missed her Ceridwen so much. Even after months on the island, she had missed this Ceridwen.
“You weren’t responsible for her happiness. You weren’t responsible for her life. All you can do is love someone and do your best. Also, divorce is always an option. Just saying, since people suddenly seem to have forgotten about it.”
Rhiannon laughed, then sobered.
“Ceri… I wasn’t enough for her. Nothing I did helped, nothing I tried, nothing I was.
She loved me, she desired me, she was proud of me occasionally, even if it brought up all the ugliness of her lack of self-worth because of her professional failures…
But I know she didn’t particularly like me.
It had been quite a shock to realize that.
But it also explained so much about our marriage. ”
Rhiannon blew out a breath, her throat closing, the words refusing to spill.
They had to though, akin to expelling venom from the wound.
“And so I wasn’t enough for her to live for.
I was, however, perfect to die because of.
And that is one of the best-designed punishments.
She’s dead and I can demand no answers from her. ”
Ceridwen’s eye roll was so exaggerated, Rhiannon wondered for a second that she’d hurt herself.
“Are you listening to yourself, Rhy? What answers? She took everything from you, your family, your town, your craft. You gave and gave and gave. And no, it wasn’t enough for her, but that says nothing about you and all about her.
She was a miserable, hateful human being, taking her failures out on you.
Deliberately. Blaming you for her own suicide?
That’s twisted and cruel and you’re letting her do it even from the grave. ”
“Are you going to tell me how disappointed you are, Ceri? That’s such a mom thing to say.”
Rhiannon snapped her mouth shut the second the joke was out of it. Ceridwen, to her credit, just looked at her, face open and honest.
“It is a mom thing to say. In fact, it was our mom’s thing to say.” They stood in silence for a moment, then Ceridwen shook her head and Rhiannon closed her eyes. She wanted to have this out to begin with, so they might as well. When Ceridwen spoke again, Rhiannon regretted her decision.
“I never tried to take her place, you know. When she died, when I dropped out of college and stepped in, all I needed from you was to be there for me. I wasn’t trying to control you.
The twins were barely fourteen, babies, really.
Victoria had her husband, bedridden and needing her constantly, and you…
You were angry and raging and blaming everyone and everything and all I ever wanted was for you to just be there for me.
Not even to help. But…simply to be.” After a moment, one where Rhiannon’s heart was doing its best to tear through her rib cage, anxiety and regret rendering her speechless, Ceridwen delivered the final blow.
Or perhaps the final caress. “I blamed you for leaving. But I never blamed you for Mom.”
Rhiannon grasped the edges of the once-polished counter, her fingers grabbing on to soot and ash, burnt splinters piercing her skin.
“You should have, Ceri. I sure blamed myself.”
To her surprise, Ceridwen laughed.
“You know, I always thought your ego was over-inflated, but I never realized just by how much. You are responsible for your wife’s death.
You’re responsible for Mom’s. You sure think a lot of yourself, Rhy.
Mom drew her circle, and despite being experienced and having done the ceremony for years, she failed.
She was supposed to have help. She said she did arrange for it and then she either lied to spare us, or something happened on Sky Blue that cost her her life.
Regardless of the why, the power took her.
I don’t know how you walk around with a head this big, Rhy, doesn’t it weigh you down? ”
Well, trust Ceridwen to break things down quite like that.
“She was mad at me for my lack of control, for harming Fowler, for being stupid about Margaux—”
“Yes, we all were. Well, I didn’t know about you hurting him initially, but we were all mad at you.
Mom, the twins and I, Victoria. We spent an entire year just being mad at you constantly.
I half thought you were doing all those absolutely dumbass things with Margaux on purpose.
I knew you were in love, but I didn’t know you were also being dragged around by your clit by a manipulative bitch. And Mom… It wasn’t your fault, Rhy.”
“I was supposed to be the second caster for that circle. She wasn’t feeling well, and yet she didn’t want to even look at me… I was supposed to be there for her! To help her break her curse, and I wasn’t. I got there too late!”
Her shout felt like a stone being hurled through a glass pane, the shards falling to the ground all around them.
“She called me the night before, you know. She was preoccupied and dismissive when I said I’d come back from college to help.
She said no, said she would deal with it, that she had gotten a helper and everything would be fine.
When Victoria found you on the Sky Blue Cliff, crying and holding on to Mom’s jacket, your hands all torn up, I thought you were the help Mom talked about.
I thought you couldn’t handle it, that your power had waned as it tends to with young, inexperienced casters, or that you lost control.
” Ceridwen wiped the tears that sprang to her eyes.
Rhiannon closed hers again. She couldn’t stand this.
“I blamed you for many things, Rhy. But never for Mom. I know Seren doesn’t either.”
“I don’t.”
Seren stood a few feet from them, a bucket and a broom in her hands. Always the practical one.
“Mom said someone would be there with her that night. I knew she didn’t mean you though, the way she was so mad at you back then. I never blamed you, Rhy. Not for Mom. Just for leaving, even if I can’t say I’d have stayed either.”
“I sure would’ve left.” Deryn stomped in with more swagger than Seren and twirled her broom as she made her presence known.
“You did leave, Der.”
Seren smacked Deryn on the head with an empty bucket, and for a while there was bickering and attempts at retaliation. When they stopped, breathing heavily, it was Deryn who finally brought up the elephant in the burned-down room.
“Are we even going to mention what you did the other day, Rhy? Cause unless you and Ceri already talked it out, can I just say that it was fucking stupid to risk yourself that way?” Deryn dropped the bucket and sat on top of it as it overturned.
Then she blew her fringe out of her face and grinned.
“Pale as a sheet, barely walking, fresh from the literal death’s door, magic gone…
So fucking stupid and yet so fucking badass. ”
Seren laughed, and to Rhiannon’s surprise, Ceridwen joined in. Then all three of her sisters were laughing, holding their bellies, and she wondered if they had gone crazy on the cliff last night.
“Oh Goddess, Rhy, only you. Only fucking you.” Deryn fell off the bucket and just lay on the sooty floor, still shaking with an occasional giggle.
“That’s two lives you saved in one week there, champ.” Seren’s face held no traces of the earlier mirth, and Rhiannon sighed. But before she could speak, Ceridwen laid a hand on her cheek, bringing their foreheads together.
“You did save Pru, and you sure saved me. I was so close to losing it, to surrendering, and I knew Seren and Deryn would not have been able to reach me, not as far gone as I had been. And then you came, my injured cavalry from over the hill. Thank you.”
“You’re my sister, Ceri. Injured or not, I’m all the cavalry you've got.” Rhiannon attempted to brush the gratitude off, embarrassed by the emotions choking her.
But Ceridwen just held her face in her hands and she tried to gulp down the lump in her throat.
“I’ll always come, Ceri. And Seren and Der.
I let you down once. I’ll never let you down again. ”
Rhiannon felt tears threaten and forced herself to speak. She had to say this lst piece. These words had choked her for decades, and they had to come out. Her sisters had to hear them.
“I am sorry. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry. For everything.”
Ceridwen shook her head and held out her hand, and Rhiannon took it, their powers colliding, her entire body renewed. Then Seren hugged her from behind, Deryn joining in, and she stood still, feeling her sisters’ heartbeats, their breathing, their magic, she realized she was home.
Things really did come full circle. Months ago, in this very room, with Victoria holding her arrested by her prying eyes, Rhiannon wondered if she’d ever find the door to the place where she would, for once, be happy. She questioned if anyone would ever let her in.
Well, it took a few decades, a fire, a broken circle and a few near death experiences and she found that door and that place. And that happiness? Almost.
Only one person was missing, and Rhiannon knew she would be incomplete if she didn’t throw caution to the wind one more time. This time, to her Wind.