Chapter 47
One minute, my hearts being crushed in my chest when I finally discover how Cami died as Harlyn falls apart at the seams. The next, I’m on high alert when he stumbles and the color bleeds from his face.
He calls out for Rex, and irrational selfishness infuriates me, but I brush it aside. For now.
“I-I can’t b-breathe.”
He says, and that one sentence alone is enough to split me open.
He falls then, and Rex catches him. I want nothing more than to rip him out of his arms and get him to safety. Tuck him somewhere far away where it could just be the two of us.
I’m so fucking stupid.
“What the hell is happening? What’s wrong with him?”
Blithe demands, the love he harbors for Har, making his voice thick. My mind is still blown that he’s even here. This is who B was all this time…
“Just back up and give him some room.”
Rex says, either oblivious to Blithe’s increasing anger or uncaring.
“You wanna repeat that?”
Blithe’s voice drops something deadly, and he steps forward as Rex lifts Harlyn further into his arms.
Ressyn steps up placing a hand on Blithe’s arm, gaining his attention. His expression softens with intense longing. “Let’s just let him help for a moment until we can figure out what’s wrong, okay? None of this is going to help.”
Blithe’s lips part while he watches Res speak, as if just that simple action is enough to take his breath away. The realization has more jealousy building inside of me. Because I had that. Harlyn looked at me like that.
“Okay sunshine.”
And that’s that. We follow behind Rex silently until we approach the field we started all of this at. He leads us to the back of an SUV, opening the back and depositing Harlyn inside.
The whole way out I dreaded hearing what I knew I was about to hear. I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable, but it doesn’t make it any easier when Rex finally faces Blithe and speaks.
“He has a chronic heart condition. He isn’t supposed to participate in any strenuous activity, let alone all this.”
He waves a hand at the compound.
“Chronic heart condition?”
Blithe questions, concern lacing his voice. Stunned, I watch as tears fall from his eyes and he runs his thumbs over Har’s filthy cheeks, then down his braided hair.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Blithe cry.
Ressyn watches on skeptically. Although I see and feel the underlying shame.
He’s probably thinking about how I did this.
Rex opens a black bag and I hear a machine start up right before he places an oxygen mask over Harlyn’s face.
Turning around I close my eyes as my own tears spill over. Unable to face what I’ve done to him.
I’d take it all back if I could. If I knew what I knew now, then. I’d take it all back.
“He suffered a severe heart injury. Flatlined multiple times, I was sure we’d lose him. The doctor was able to repair it, but he isn’t one hundred percent and never will be again. He has chronic chest pain that he manages with pain medication. His irregular heart rate requires meds as well. He’s also taking something for PTSD and anxiety. We’ve got him set up with a doctor and a physiatrist. He sees both regularly.”
Rex informs.
Blithe nods, rolling his lips. “Okay… okay. Just uhh get his doctors to send everything over to Clarissa, and I’ll ensure that continues. Thank you for helping him.”
“Excuse me?”
“What?”
Blithe asks confused, glancing at Res. “She is still the doctor you use, yes?”
“Uh yeah. And I’ll make sure she’s available at all hours.”
He nods hesitantly.
“Yeaaaah…”
Rex says unconvinced. “Harlyn lives with me so it will be beneficial to just stick to his routine.”
“And I just said thank you.”
Blithe supplies through clenched teeth. “But I’ll be going with Ressyn and Harlyn will be coming with me.”
Rex’s gaze flicks to me. “Shouldn’t that be up to Harlyn.”
“Shouldn’t what be up to me?”
Harlyn says, gaining everyone’s attention.
When I look over his eyes are on me for the first time and my breath catches. His deadened expression doesn’t so much as flicker to indicate that this is affecting him at all like it once did and my heart breaks a little more.
He diverts his gaze to Blithe when he responds to him, “Are you alright?”
He cups his cheeks in his large hands.
“Yeah. Small set back, no big deal.”
He shrugs, but the fingers twitching by his side give him away.
Deciding Harlyn’s hatred is better than nothing, I speak up. “He’s lying.”
Death glare now directed at me, he opens his mouth to speak and excitement lights me up. I love his soft voice, but I’ll learn to accept his venom if nothing else. Only, his lips seal shut, and I frown. He’s looking at me as if I’m not worth his time and sorrow crashes into me.
I don’t know what I was expecting. I shot him. I hurt him just as much as I loved him.
Love him.
Blithe’s squints at him. “Are you lying to me?”
Har huffs like a child being chastised and I’ve got to say, I thought I had seen all sides of him but this one is new.
“I need my meds.”
He provides reluctantly rolling his eyes.
Rex takes his vitals and curses. Meanwhile I want nothing more than to shove him away. He touches Harlyn with a familiarity that makes me uneasy. Since when does he just let everyone touch him?
I mean seriously the guy is petting him like he’s a dog and I wonder if they are more than friends. My jaw clenches at the thought. I mean, Harlyn holds eye contact with him and everything, they are all but fucking in front of me.
I’m not being irrational. I know I hurt him and added to his already immense pain, but does that mean he moved on already? So easy to trust this guy?
Don’t even get me started on whoever the hell Lane is.
Pretty this and pretty that. I’ll pretty his goddamn throat when I yank it out of his ass.
I owe him an apology, I think to myself and my nose scrunches.
“I wanna go home.”
Har looks at Rex.
“Okay, let’s go.”
Rex smirks at Blithe.
My thoughts are scattered as the two of them begin to argue. Blithe steps in like it’s about to get physical, but Harlyn pulls himself up and gets between them.
He winces as he does and I break a little more, reaching for him. He fights as I pull him in close, tucking his body into mine and I squeeze.
Dropping my lips to his ear I whisper, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“Get the hell off me.”
His voice is quiet and threatening, but I’m not afraid. I probably should be considering I just watched him rip many people apart, but I only hold him tighter.
“Never.”
“I don’t want you to touch me.”
“I’m sorry for what I’ve done, Har… Can I fix it? Will you let me fix it?”
This time he breaks my hold and looks down his nose at me, even though he’s smaller. “There’s nothing to fix.”
With those soul crushing words he turns to Blithe. “Enough. I’ll go with you.”
“But-“ Rex tries to deny but Har cuts him off and I smirk behind my hand.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll just go. I’ll text you.”
I don’t want him texting anyone, but this is a step in the right direction.