Chapter 53
“Hi, little devil.”
Blithe says as I close the sliding door, walking onto the deck to sit with him.
It’s silent for a while, nothing but the crickets sounding in the quiet night.
“What’s going on with you and Creek?”
B asks and I choke on air, to which he laughs.
“He was just welcoming me back.” I lie.
“You’ve been here for weeks.”
He deadpans. “Harlyn, I love you, but if you lie to me again I’m gonna kick your ass.”
He says and I wince.
B sighs. “What is going on?”
“How are you feeling about Ressyn?”
My chest tightens when I selfishly change the subject.
He doesn’t say anything for several minutes, just stares off tonguing his cheek. After rolling his lips, he breaks the silence. “It’s to be expected I suppose.”
“What?”
I ask incredulously.
He chuckles, and fucks up my hair, the way he did when I was a lost teen. “Har, I was gone for years. Presumed dead. Of course, he’d eventually move on. We’ve spent some time together, but I had a feeling something was off and now I know why.”
“You aren’t angry?”
“No. More like disappointed that he didn’t trust me with this.”
“But… don’t you love him?”
I question.
“More than anything, yeah. Enough to not be selfish with him. Not anymore. I no longer hold that right.”
“I don’t think I can love like that.”
I admit, picking at my shorts.
“Oh? Is this about Creek?”
He raises a brow, the expression playful, but it morphs into anger the moment my tears spill over.
“Love is nothing like the way you described. I’ve been completely blindsided by his madness.”
I rub at my eyes before continuing. “One thing I know for sure is that even after everything, I would rip anyone apart who would so much as dare to call him their finance.” I sniff.
“You love him?”
His expression softens.
“God B, he’s awful. It’s fucking hurts.”
I cry. “I can’t make it stop.”
“Tell me.”
Blithe says. And so, I do. I don’t leave anything out, even if it’s appropriately necessary and he says, ‘you can skip that part’, I don’t. Because every detail matters to me. The good, the bad, the ugly. The beautiful fucked up mess that is Creek and Harlyn.
I explain it from the beginning. What an asshole bully he was to me. How I didn’t shy away when he first touched me. How his hands made me come alive. How he reacted when I took to it so easily and how naive I was with handling it because he was my first. I go over his stupid ability to not trust a frog in the grass and how difficult it was for me to tear down his walls. I explain the bad.
I tell him all about the adventures Creek took me on, in an attempt to fill a void that wasn’t necessary as long as he was by my side. How fucking sweet he was to me. How real I believed it all to be. How he held me at night to sleep, and how he held me when he’d find me crying alone. I explain the good.
Finally, I explain the ugly. The way I felt when I first spotted the gun in his hand. The way it felt as the bullet pierced my chest. The way that one act alone broke me more because of who was behind the gun. I explain it all-the things he did and the things I did-and I don’t hold back.
I tell him how lucky I was that Rex happened to be stopping by the club to clue Ressyn in on some information he heard about Marcus targeting him. If he hadn’t been there the night those gold acolytes dragged me out of there, I would have died on the way to Marcus. Or worse, I would have lived.
And of course, I tell him everything that’s transpired between Creek and I since we’ve gotten here.
By the time I’m finished B is pacing the deck, no longer next to me. I give him a few minutes to think it all over.
When he finally faces me, I can’t pick up a single emotion to tell me how he feels because many flash across his face.
“Did I ever tell you about the time Res and I fell off?”
He asks. It surprises me, and I shake my head.
He smiles. “We weren’t perfect Harlyn,”
he says clearing his throat. “We had a massive fight once that led to us not speaking for quite a while…”
“What did he do wrong?”
I ask curious.
Blithe chuckles, “why do you assume it was him?”
“Oh.”
“My point is, no relationship is perfect. Definitely not this one and I’m not sure you should pursue it.”
Blithe winces.
“Yeah”
I nod slowly, not entirely convinced anymore.
He hugs me briefly. It’s comforting and warm. It feels like coming home after a long vacation.
“One things for sure, my little devil isn’t little anymore,”
he cringes, and I want to die. “And I trust you. So, whatever you decide, I’ll be by your side through it all.”
“I know.”