Chapter Twenty-One
Elle sat on a bench, gazing out at the lake, hearing the soft rustling of leaves from the light wind blowing through the trees behind her. All those things were her go-to for peace. The tranquility never failed to settle her nerves or quiet her fears…until now.
Not even the beauty of the vista before her could take away her pain. She knew what she had to do, and it was her own fault, too.
Why’d you have to go and fall in love with the guy? she wondered for the millionth time since yesterday.
How was it even possible? They’d only been seeing each other a little over six weeks. That was enough time to fall into lust, not love.
And yet…
A heavy sadness weighed upon her heart as she grappled with the harsh reality of the situation. Elle inhaled, and the motion sent a stray tear down her face from her watery eyes. She didn’t have a choice now. She had to leave. Jeremy’s life depended on it.
No, it didn’t, her conscience argued.
Too bad she knew it to be wrong. Callum was living proof. Literally. Bumping into him here in the Poconos was insane, but it’d cemented her beliefs. By divorcing him, he’d survived being a SEAL. She’d loved him, but found the strength to let him go, and he’d lived.
Now, she needed to do the same for Jeremy.
But, God, it was so much harder.
Elle knew they could get past their squabble about her secrets and her concern over his trust issues. But she wasn’t going to even try now.
Running into Callum had changed that. It reminded her of her curse and that due to her feelings for Jeremy, and his for her, she’d put him in jeopardy. They meant more to one another than a way to release steam.
And therein lied the problem. Keeping things physical was fine, but getting their hearts involved was stupid.
Still, Elle just wasn’t sure if she could find the strength to leave.
Last night, torn between her desire to salvage the relationship and the realization that its end was inevitable, she’d started packing. All that was left was to load up her car, visit with her friends to say her goodbyes, then drive out of town.
She’d tried to load it up this morning but chickened out.
Still it had to be done.
The fact he hadn’t called her like he’d said he would only firmed her resolve. She could use it, build upon it to make him see it was best if she left.
Despite the pain, she recognized that holding on would only prolong their mutual suffering. Reluctantly, she accepted that letting go was the kindest choice for both of them, even though it meant facing the future alone. Again.
“Elle?” Jeremy’s voice had her jumping to her feet and her heart racing out of control.
She cleared her throat and swiped the tears from her cheeks before turning to watch his approach. He was striding with purpose. His shoulders were back, head held high, and a determined gleam shone in his eyes.
Her heart rolled in her chest.
The betrayal, the hurt…they were gone. And Dear God, in its place was affection and warmth.
This was going to be so much harder than she thought.
“I’m sorry about yesterday.” He stopped in front of her and reached for her hand. Remorse entered his gaze, but the warmth and affection remained. “Can you forgive me for being a jackass?”
Butterflies bypassed her stomach and took up residence in her tight chest. No man had ever, ever looked at her like that before. Her whole body shook with the same emotions showing in his eyes.
It was amazing.
But it also wasn’t good.
She nodded and tugged free. It was too hard to think when he touched her.
“I ran into your ex-husband,” he said, knocking the breath from her lungs.
Elle blinked. “How do you know Callum?”
A smile tugged at his lips. “I’d never met him before. I only recognized him as the man you were hugging outside Jenna’s shop yesterday.”
Heat rushed into her cheeks. “It was a shock to bump into him there. Timing wasn’t great, though, because I saw you drive by. I can only imagine what you thought.”
He stepped closer. “Sorry to say, my thoughts stemmed from my head, which was up my ass.”
She snickered despite their dire situation. God, she was going to miss his wit. She was going to miss everything about him.
Her throat heated and closed again. It was time to get it over with. It hurt too much to stand here with him regarding her with…affection.
“Don’t go, Elle,” he said, his gaze darkening with pain. “Don’t run away. Stay here with me. I love you, Elle. I want you in my life full-time. None of this part-time stuff.”
Tears managed to escape her eyes and trickled down her face. “I love you too. That’s why I need to go.”
He shook his head and brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “It’s all the more reason to stay. Make a stand with me. We can fight your past.”
She sucked in a breath and had to reach out to grab onto his arms to keep from falling because her legs threatened to buckle. “M-my past?”
What exactly did he think he knew?
“Yes, your ex told me why you divorced,” he said, his voice full of compassion.
She nodded. “I’m cursed, Jeremy. I refused to let him die because of me, and I sure as hell am not going to let you die, either.”
Elle tried to move away, but he set his hands on her hips and held her there.
“We are all going to die, Elle. But it isn’t for us to decide when.”
Deep down, she knew that, but she also knew she was cursed.
“My brother died seven years after my dad, and my mother died fourteen years after my brother.” Tears were streaming down her face again, but she didn’t care.
“In four years, it’ll be the fourteenth anniversary of my mother’s death.
My chances aren’t good of surviving, and…
” Elle paused to suck in a breath before she continued, “and if we stayed together, your chances will be even slimmer. Everyone I’ve ever loved that was in my life has died, Jeremy.
I can’t…I won’t let that happen to you.”
With a growl, he crushed her close, and she cried for what could have been, for what she wished she could have, but most of all, she cried because she had to let him go.
After a few minutes, she regained control of her body and drew out of his embrace. “I need you to live, Jeremy. So, I’m leaving today.”
His gaze darkened, and misery ruled his tone. “Don’t go, Elle. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave us. We’re good together. We’re meant to be together. How can you not see that?”
All she could see was death in his future if she stayed.
“Do you really think it was a coincidence that you drove into this town and found it perfect for the series you’re writing to honor my father?
” he asked. “And do you really think it was a coincidence that you were assigned as a ride-along to the son of the man who’d tried to save your brother, especially when you originally thought it had been Martin? ”
Her heart was in her throat, hammering away her breath. She lifted a shoulder, unsure what to think anymore.
“Well, I don’t, Elle. It’s way too long of a shot to be pure coincidence,” he said with such conviction she almost believed him. “Besides, I don’t believe in coincidences.”
Neither did she, but admitting that out loud could…what?
Cause a lightning bolt to shoot out of the sky and zap them both?
“Call it fate, or my dad, your brother, your mother, your father, hell, all of our departed,” he stated. “But our paths crossed with help from above.”
She exhaled. “I thought that too,” she managed to say on a halting breath.
He was right. The possibility that she could’ve chosen this place and met him on accident was crazy. And hadn’t she started to let fate drive her path here in the Poconos? Specifically, her journey with Jeremy?
Could she really stay?
“Give us a chance,” he said softly, caressing her cheek.
She closed her eyes, wanting too so badly, but… “I’m scared,” she admitted, opening her eyes to find his warm, strong, raw gaze open to her.
“I know you are,” he said. “And it’s okay. I am too. But I’m certain this is where you belong. With me, in my arms, riding along with me, in my life forever.”
She hiccupped and sucked in a breath at the same time.
“I’m here for you, Elle. I’ve got you.”
More damn tears escaped to run down her cheeks. “But what if you die in four years? Or I die? I don’t want that pain for you.”
His gaze grew fierce, and emotions blazed bright and clear as he cupped her face. “Then I’ll love the hell out of you in the meantime.”
Elle inhaled past her tight throat, but before she could respond, his mouth came down on hers, kissing her with the same emotions and conviction she’d seen in his eyes.
Those same emotions burned in her chest as she slid her arms around him and kissed him back, baring her soul, giving him everything.
Scared out of her mind, and unsure if it was smart to tempt fate, Elle, knew there was no way she could actually walk away from this man.
He was her heart. Her soul. Her lifeline.
In his arms, she felt safe, loved. She felt everything.
A few moments later, they broke for air, and he drew her in tight.
“Thanks for giving us a chance.”
She squeezed him just as tightly. “I’m not going to lie. I’m really scared.”
He kissed her temple and crushed her closer. “So am I. But I’m more afraid of losing you now than in the future.”
She nodded. “I don’t want to lose you, ever.”
After another kiss to her temple, he drew back to catch her gaze. “The last thing I want to do is rush you, but since you’re already packed, how would you feel about moving in with me?”
Shock raised her brows, then joy shot through her with a tinge of anxiety. “I’d say chances are good. But are you sure? I don’t want to cramp your style. You’re used to living alone, not sharing your space.”
“The best times I’ve had in my house were when I shared it with you,” he said with an earnestness that warmed her heart. “It was more than evident last night. It was damn cold without you, Elle. Too damn cold. You’re a part of me. The best part.”
Since it had been a warm spring night, she knew he wasn’t talking about the temperature. She also knew what he’d meant. “I hated it.”
Elle shoved her hands through his hair and brought his mouth down on hers, kissing him with all the emotions coursing through her. He crushed her close and she soaked in his strength and love, asking fate to please let her have a life with him, because she couldn’t, wouldn’t walk away this time.
After a few, long, amazing moments, she reluctantly drew back, needing air. “I look forward to not being cold tonight,” she said between breaths.
He lifted a hand to tenderly caress her cheek, all while he stared lovingly into her eyes. “You’ll never be cold again, Elle. Ever.”
Wanting desperately to believe him, she pushed thoughts of her curse aside, and turned her head to kiss his palm. “Neither will you.”
If she started to believe what he said and repeated what he said often enough, then maybe she could will them into existence. After all, she was pretty stubborn.
With that gameplan in mind, she allowed joy and hope to seep into her heart.
Jeremy tenderly kissed the freckles on her nose and cheek. “What do you say we celebrate with some wine tonight?”
“Sounds perfect.” Elle grinned and leaned into him. “You read my mind. You. Me. Wine…”
He winked. “And some in depth research.”