Chapter 5
ROLAND
Aderyn’s lips were magical.
One touch, and every thought and worry that’d plagued me throughout the day blew away. There was just the warmth of Aderyn’s mouth, the soft hitch of his breath before he dove in again.
We’d only ever kissed, and maybe I hadn’t known what it meant each time we did, but this time, when he ducked his head and bit his bottom lip, I chased him. I leaned in, catching his mouth once more, my hands framing his perfect, elegant face.
He was so beautiful. When I’d first seen him, I never could’ve imagined that he’d be every bit as gorgeous in skin as he was in his green scales.
I felt his jaw move, the hollow of his cheek softening as he opened wider. The brush of his tongue against my lips invited me inside, and I drew him closer, turning toward him on the couch so my bent leg slipped behind him.
His moan vibrated into our kiss, and he buried his fingers in my hair. His hand moved up and up, until his knuckles pressed the golden edge of my crown. It toppled to the floor and rolled.
The sound made him flinch, and he pulled back, and—
And fuck, that was the last thing I wanted.
“Sorry,” he whispered, shrinking down into his neck, though it was far, far too long and handsome for him to manage it.
I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
He moved to the side as if he meant to abandon me to pick up the blasted thing. Nothing had ever mattered less than that damned crown.
“Leave it,” I rasped, reaching for his wrist to draw him back to me.
His expression turned pinched, worried, as if he feared doing something wrong. I’d seen the look before, many times—the fear my friend had learned while he was at a monster’s mercy—but I never wanted him to look at me like that.
“Aderyn,” I whispered. My voice came out thick and choked, and I didn’t know what to say.
He held my eye for a moment before he swallowed, and when he stretched out his arm, it was to comb his fingers through my hair again. Without the weight of the crown, the feeling of his nails dragging across my scalp sent a tingle down the back of my neck.
My eyelids fluttered and I moaned, and next thing I knew, he was kissing me again, open and hungry with his arms around my neck, his fingers buried in my copper hair.
He pressed against me, and my blood rushed straight to my cock. My thoughts turned hazy. His chest was firm against mine, his body warm and sensuous as he moved against me.
“I love you,” I gasped against his lips.
My eyes flashed open. I had to know—had to see how that made him feel.
Nothing I said had ever been truer, and I needed to know that he heard it. If we were going to kiss like this, hold each other like this, he had to see that he meant so much to me.
His irises were green as the hills in late spring, glittering with joy as he stared at me. His lips curved upward, then he caught himself like he hadn’t meant to let the feeling in.
Finally, it got the better of him. He smiled, and a sigh escaped me, lost between us as I was lost in him.
Then he dragged me in again. His teeth teased my bottom lip and he fell back on the couch, pulling me along.
I kissed him for what felt like hours, just feeling his body beneath mine, the close press of us together, the way the familiar lines of him felt when I let myself touch him without worry or hesitation.
When I slipped my hand beneath his shirt, his breath caught. Another flinch from him, and I pulled back, holding my weight on my outstretched arm.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He shook his head fast, his eyes still shut.
I sat back on my heels, pulled my hand away, and took one of his. Slowly, I brought his fingers to my lips. “We don’t have to rush. I just—” I looked down at our hands, locked together, the red peaks of his flushed knuckles as he clung to me.
I’d gotten lost in him. Wanted to see what his skin felt like when his heart raced.
I wanted to devour every inch of him, swear myself as his defender, keep him as my own.
He finally opened his eyes when I broke off, and I shook my head.
“Aderyn, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need anything more than having you here with me as my very best friend. We—we’re still that, right?” A sudden spike of panic gripped me. Had I pushed too far? It wasn’t as if we’d never touched before, but not like this.
For a nightmarish second, all I could think was that I was another horrible Cavendish, pressing Aderyn, denying him his freedom and his own desires and—
And then he smiled up at me, and even though he was quiet, I could breathe again.
He didn’t hate me. Didn’t see me as someone demanding or frightening. I hadn’t messed up that much.
Hadn’t messed up at all, apparently, because he pressed himself up until we were kissing again, and I sank onto him when his arm looped around my back and his hand pressed flat against my shoulder.
“It felt nice,” Aderyn muttered against my lips. “But in a new way. I wasn’t expecting it.”
Between us, he shifted his tunic higher. At the feel of his questing fingers, I sat back to allow him to pull it off entirely.
Then, he was bare before me—his top half, anyway. He had a golden-pink complexion unlike anything I’d seen before, and I stared, awestruck and useless, while his cheeks flushed.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered as I dragged my fingertips across his skin, tracing out along his collarbones, then down his chest, circling his rosy nipples with my thumbs before touching lower.
His cheeks turned even pinker. He chewed his lip. The way his blush followed my touch was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen. I bent down to kiss his warm skin, following the pink tinge and the sound of his soft breathing until I reached the top of his trousers.
“Does it still feel good?” I mumbled against his lower stomach, the soft blond hair there tickling my lips.
“Mmhmm,” Aderyn nodded, and I realized he was too overwhelmed to talk.
I didn’t mind. I smiled against his skin and kissed there softly.
“May I keep going?”
“Mm—” He made another little sound that I thought was affirmative, but I looked up to see him nod, just to be sure.
I undid the ties and pulled his trousers down enough to free his cock. It was gorgeous and flushed, with a little curve to the left that was undoubtedly the most charmingly imperfect thing I’d ever seen.
I bent, dragging my tongue up from the base to the tip. Aderyn shuddered beneath me, gripping for the couch before I flicked my tongue beneath his cock’s head, and he reached for me instead.
I tried, really, to take my time tasting him, to draw out a symphony of pleasure so that his whole world was a hazy pink cloud. I wasn’t that patient, though. I wound up gripping his shaft to steady it, sucking his tip like a man possessed, and when I squeezed his thigh, he cried out.
His cock twitched, and then he came bitter and sticky across my spit-slick lips.
I licked them clean as well as I could, swallowed, and smiled up at him. He’d thrown his head back, his eyes closed, his body trembling with every soft inhale.
He’d come fast, but I thought, for our first time, that was simply the best compliment he could give me. I was glad I didn’t have to wonder whether or not I was doing it right for him.
“Good?” I asked.
He stretched out his arms for me. “Yes.”
I crawled up onto the couch and slipped in beside him, wedging my arm beneath his head. He turned in and cuddled into my side, and I let my fingertips dance across his ribcage while he caught his breath.
Nothing had been more perfect in my life. Even his soft exhale against my neck was so sweet.
Then his hand sneaked down over my clothes, and his palm curled around my rigid cock, trapped beneath my own trousers. I gasped, and he froze, so I put my hand on top of his and drew him slowly back up.
Yes, I wanted him.
Yes, that need had been playing at the nape of my neck, a tingling drive that begged me to take more and more and anything he would give.
I just didn’t know if I deserved it. This? Giving him pleasure? It didn’t cost me a thing at all. It only made me happy.
But Aderyn had spent years of his life caged, without being able to speak for himself or make his own choices.
We hadn’t spoken about this. I wanted him to be sure he wanted—well, whatever he wanted—before we went further.
And he deserved—
Well, he deserved the truth of me if he meant it.
“You don’t have to,” I whispered. “That was just about you. I wanted to make you feel good.”
Aderyn sucked in his cheeks. His silky blond hair fell beautifully over his shoulder when he pushed himself up to look at me.
“Do you not want me to?” he asked, frustration shining in his eyes.
I laughed, just a single, breathy sound, and shook my head. “I’d love for you to, one day, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything for me just because I—”
Before I even finished speaking, he flipped me onto my back and was on top of me, straddling my waist. He’d kicked his trousers all the way off and was naked, and I was still fully clothed, and I hated every bit of silk that kept his skin from mine.
When he kissed me, his hair tickled my cheeks. His body moved, beautiful and clumsy as he rocked against me.
I groaned into his mouth, and when I ran my hands down his shoulders, he gripped them and shoved them back on the couch above me.
This demand, this hunger, it was all too much.
Pleasure hit me hard and fast, dragging me under before I’d even made sense of what was happening.
I came, rigid beneath Aderyn, sticky in my small clothes. Aderyn, noticing how still I’d gotten, sat up, his brow furrowed.
“Are you all right?”
It took me a second to catch my breath, but I nodded.
“Better. I—hells, I’m sorry. I thought I’d, ah—last longer than that.”
“Oh.” Aderyn went bright red, then a slow smile spread on his swollen lips. “Oh.”
Grinning, he leaned down for another kiss.
“So you felt nice?” he mumbled.
“So good.” Just having him there had overwhelmed my senses. Maybe next time, I’d have a better handle on myself, but right then, I could hardly lament that I’d let him know just how affected I was by him.
“Then why don’t you—” He plucked at my clothes, and I took the hint, helping him strip me piece by piece. He was more careful with the silk and embroidery than I was, but soon enough, we were both naked, and he sank onto the couch with me again.
In the aftermath, I felt tired and heavy, and very much like I wanted to hide him away from the world and forget all of Llangard. He curled into my side, and I pulled a blanket over us both, buried my lips in his damnably soft hair, and fell asleep in that cozy nest.
I woke before the sun came up, not from some impulse of duty, but because of a buzzing in my ears that wouldn’t quiet.
It was Penrose, high in the sky, and whenever the buzzing started, I—I lost myself. There was only one solution, and with a horrible stab of nausea, I felt Aderyn’s heartbeat. His chest was pressed to mine. My mind clouded.
Too fast, I pulled away from him.
Sleepily, Aderyn blinked up at me, woken by the movement. Uneasy, I forced a small smile, and I leaned in and kissed his forehead.
“It’s all right,” I whispered. “Stay here and sleep more.” I tucked a loose blond strand behind his ear. “I’ll see you after my morning meetings, all right?”
Dazed, Aderyn nodded and nuzzled into the warm pillow I’d left behind.
I dressed, leaving my messy small clothes out of the picture for later.
When I slipped into my chambers, they weren’t empty. Rhys stood at the doors to my balcony, a sympathetic smile on his face.
“I thought you might struggle tonight,” he said softly.
When he lifted his hand, he held a goblet—not by the stem, but by the top, his palm spread over the wide opening.
I knew what he’d done before I saw the flash of gold on his palm, the thick drip into the cup.
“It’ll be worse as Penrose waxes past this middle stage,” he said softly.
Mindless, I crossed the room in a blink and snatched the goblet from his bleeding hand, and when I drank it all, my tongue licked into the bottom curve, desperate for every drop.