Chapter 12
twelve
. . .
hadley
I can’t believe I racked up a dinner bill half the size of my house payment. I just wanted to be so obnoxious that Jett would regret ever going out with me. I don’t even know why.
Fine. That’s a lie. I had to do something to make him ticked at me.
We almost kissed. Kissed!
And by all that is holy, I want it. I want his lips on mine. I want his arms around me. I want him. All of him, all the time. Forever.
Even now.
It’s like the last fifteen years never even happened.
Like I never received that text.
Never bawled my eyes out.
Never stayed in bed for months after.
Never felt like I was the walking dead.
All of that happened, and I can still feel the grip that grief had on my heart… sort of. Now it’s more like that ache is a ghost, slowly walking toward the light.
Since it’s the start of hockey season, Jett and I are making our debut as an official couple at the first Bobcats game.
It’s been forever since I’ve been to one. I just couldn’t after…
I couldn’t enter without feeling him there. It was too hard. The only way to break free of him was to separate myself from all the things that made us, us.
My heart is nearly beating out of my chest as I find a seat on the bleachers. I’d been offered a VIP seat, but it feels right to be in the middle of all the cheering and action. I feel the air whip around me as the players fly by.
Then I see him.
Jett glides across the ice and takes his position on the wing with the same intensity and grace he had back in high school—only now, he's stronger, sharper, fully grown into the player he was always meant to be.
When the puck comes his way, he controls it effortlessly, weaving through defenders before sending a perfect pass across the ice.
The crowd erupts, but my breath catches in my throat.
This is the version of Jett I tried to forget—the one who made everything look effortless, the one who made me believe in magic.
And now he's right here again, and it's so much harder to pretend I don't feel anything.
Vivi finds me and parks herself. “Wow. This feels almost surreal, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Warden Cameron appears to my left, a massive grin on his face. “Got my math test back. Aced it.”
I high-five him. “That’s awesome, Ward.”
“I told you having a contest would work. I’ve never sat in a VIP seat.” His gaze wanders to the boxes above us. “I’m going to chow on pizza, guzzle soda, and live. It. Up!” He laughs, and his cheeks turn rosy. “It's gonna be lit!”
I laugh. “If this keeps up, we’ll need to add bleachers.”
“Count on it.” He does the same double guns he did the first day of school and jogs away.
“Man, they sure are excited about those seats,” Vivi says. “Guess our little play worked.”
Obviously, we can’t just talk out in the open about what Jett and I are doing. It’d ruin the whole thing if someone found out. “Yeah.”
“How’d your second date go?”
I shrug. “Fine.”
Vivi bumps my shoulder. “Did you order $600 worth of food again?”
I roll my eyes. “I should have never, never, never said anything about that to you. You’re never going to let me live that down.”
“Nope.” The single word is sharp. “Did you enjoy yourself then?” When I don’t respond, she takes my hand. “It’s okay to be mad, sad, confused, hurt, and angry. It’s also okay to be pleasantly surprised and happy.”
I don't want to be happy or pleasantly surprised. I want to hold onto being mad, sad, confused, hurt, and angry. But in just two short weeks, all of those protective feelings are slowly draining away. I've maybe got a fourth of a cup left.
Admitting it almost feels like admitting defeat. Like I’d be saying what he did to me was okay. At the same time, I don’t know. Fifteen years has made a big difference in who we are as people.
“Actually, it was fun. We just hung out at my house.” We’d planned the park, but it had rained unexpectedly. “Then we watched Emperor’s New Groove.” Yes, it’s a kid’s movie. Just because it’s animated doesn’t mean it can’t be great.
Vivi squeezes my hand. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“You’re just happy because attendance at the practice games has nearly doubled—people hoping to catch a glance of Jett and me.” I nudge her. “I think if I hadn’t shown up tonight, there would’ve been a riot. And it would’ve been your fault.”
Vivi smirks, unbothered. “Worth it.”
I shake my head, but the smile tugs at my lips anyway.
I glance back at the ice. Jett is in his zone again—blocking a shot with this practiced ease, fluid, and focused.
How is it possible to feel like I’m watching a stranger and the boy I once loved, all at once?
I don’t want to admit that being around him feels… right.
But I do know this: the more time I spend with Jett, the harder it is to remember why I ever hated him.
And tonight?
Tonight it doesn’t feel fake.
It feels like coming home.
***
The six weeks of fake dating we’ve endured have been okay. Correction. They’ve been great. Jett is a gentleman, and the dates are fun. The arena is packed for each Bobcats game. All of my kids’ grades are up. All of them.
Seriously, they are so into this whole thing. Every morning, at least a dozen flag me down and talk about those VIP boxes they’ll be sitting in when the Bobcats take the championship. I’m surprised I haven’t had one of my students bounce up to me already this afternoon as school lets out.
The win-winning is amazing.
The only drawback is all the attention I’m getting. I could do without that part. When did the girlfriend ever get requests for autographs? Talk about weird.
I pull myself out of my momentary absent-minded daydream and check my phone.
Are we still on for some snow angels? Jett’s text makes me smile.
Not all of our dates have been fancy. Before it got too cold, we had a couple of simple picnics—just like we used to back in high school. PB&Js, chips, water. Nothing special, except we were together.
That was before senior year, when Jett picked up two jobs to impress colleges. He’d study late, work later, and I’d bring him food just to squeeze in time together.
It didn’t matter where we were—as long as I had him—it felt perfect.
It’s a date. I text back.
My head is spinning, and I can’t stop myself from smiling. If he tries to kiss me tonight, I don’t know that I’ll have the willpower to stop him.
I’m not sure I’d want to even if I could.
Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted him to kiss me as much as I do now. I’m desperate for his lips to be on mine. I want to just sink into him… and let myself fall.
I take a big breath and gather my purse. Typically, I’m in no real hurry on a Friday afternoon, but today? I practically skip to the exit.
Jett makes it hard not to want and hope. Plan.
My head and my heart are still at war... all the time.
On one hand, he hurt me. On the other hand, we’re both older. This whole thing has taught me that not only am I different, but he is too.
I hate to admit it, but maybe breaking up was good for us. It gave us time to grow. To experience life and pain. Aside from the breakup, all my experiences with him were wonderful. What if we’d stayed together and instead of growing together, we’d grown apart?
How much more would that have hurt?
As gutted as I was back then, it would have been one hundred times worse if we’d gotten married and then divorced. What if we had kids? Things between us could have been so much more complicated. Hurt so much worse.
Maybe all these years separated were a gift that I didn’t really understand until now. We’ve grown closer. I see him with the understanding of an adult and vice versa.
A flash goes off as I step out of the exit door. It’s not until that moment I realize I’ve walked through the school on autopilot, and it takes me a minute to register that Greer Davis is shoving a microphone in my face.
“Were you in on it? How did Jett talk you into it?”
I blink. In on it? Talk me into it? “What are you talking about?”
Her lips curve up in that predatory way she has when she’s got a bone and gnawing on it. “You didn’t know that the Back-to-School bash pond dip was part of a plan to trick you into pretending to fake date Jett?”
My heart thuds so loud I’m not sure I heard her right. Jett and Vivi? Together? Falling into the pond wasn’t an accident? I’m so in shock that I respond, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Of course, I knew about the fake dating…but what?
Greer levels her gaze with me. “You didn’t know? That whole ‘accidental pond dip’ at the Back-to-School Bash—Jett and Vivi staged it to get you two trending on social media. That was their plan to force you into fake-dating him.”
Vivi and Jett plotted to toss me in the pond so they could trick me into dating him?
Greer’s eyes light up because I’m not keeping a poker face at all. She knows she’s spilled the tea on something I had no clue about. “So you really didn’t know that your best friend was working with the guy who broke your heart?”
The waterworks hit. Tears are instant and trickling down my cheeks.
At this point, I need to bathe in holy water and delete the internet.
That Jett-shaped scar on my soul had finally started to fade. The last six weeks had done more to heal the hurt I’d carried than I can actually verbalize.
He’s done it to me again.
Only this time, I’d allowed it. Practically jumped at the chance to let him.
My tears quickly turn from heartbreak to red-hot fury.
I know the kids were counting on me to see this through. But I can’t be the joke anymore. I can’t keep pretending while everyone else laughs behind my back.
“No, I didn’t, and now that I do, I can assure you, Jett and I are done.” I turn my back on her victorious smirk and stomp to my car.
Jett can walk into an active volcano for all I care.
I’m done. I’m done with him. I’m done with Vivi. I’m just done.