Chapter 49
The crew room is as sparse as always. If they laid down a few blankets it could be used as a padded cell. Crew could come back here after a flight and scream out their frustration from dealing with entitled passengers.
Soumia has been in the meeting room for forty-five minutes with Dominic and Ivy.
She was right about her eye, she’s covered up the bruise like an artist. Only the swelling gives her injury away, but even that has gone down significantly after sleeping with a chilled pork chop on her face; she couldn’t afford a steak.
The rest of the crew for the JFK flight are already here.
I think crewing have put us all on a buddy roster.
It’s the same crew as usual: Jason, Nick, Dave, Sandra Scandal, and Danielle.
I texted them all the plan last night. We’re sat in a briefing circle ready to go, minus Soumia and a senior crew member.
The door to the office opens and Soumia comes skipping through. Her smile stretches from ear to ear. Soumia joins us, Ivy sits next to her in uniform.
Soumia shuffles some paperwork. ‘Shall we begin the briefing?’
There’s a collective shift of heads to look at Ivy in expectation of the pre-flight briefing questions.
‘Shall we start with working positions?’ Soumia clicks her pen.
Ivy remains silent. Confused looks hang on the rest of the crew’s faces.
Soumia continues. ‘Callum, you’re down the back, number 8, stay in the galley.’
‘Yes, sure. What? Wait. Are you – ’
‘Senior,’ she says, excitement bursting out of her.
‘OMG, that’s amazing!’
I get up and wrap Soumia in a congratulatory hug. The rest of the crew do the same.
Ivy Walsh interrupts. ‘That’s enough of that, thank you.
We have a job to do. Soumia will be your new senior crew member today, rightly deserved after perfectly handling the incident onboard her last flight.
Well done, Soumia. And to stop any Galley FM, yes, this is a permanent position, providing she passes her check flight which I’ll be conducting today.
So, best behaviour everyone. Jason, I’m looking at you. ’
‘There’ll be no problems from me,’ Jason says.
‘And Nick, if you could try and keep all your clothes on during the trip,’ Ivy request.
‘I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything,’ he responds.
The atmosphere is light. It’s going to be a good trip.
Soumia begins her briefing. ‘Flight TWA036, 2nd April, Manchester to JFK. Everyone fit to fly?’
She works her way through the briefing check list, dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s.
We all take out our passports, medicals and licences, then cross check each other’s documents to make sure they’re all valid.
Soumia asks us what we’d do in the event of a rapid decompression, I say divert to Iceland, the crew giggle.
Next is first aid questions. We discuss the signs and symptoms of a heart attack, the compression rate to rescue breaths, and where we’d find the first aid equipment onboard.
‘Jason, make sure Callum stays at the back. Keep him as far away from 4E as possible. The rest of you, keep Olly in his seat at all costs. And please, no drama on board, let’s save it for New York.’ Soumia turns to me. ‘Did you pack the duck?’
‘It’s in my case.’
‘And do you know all the words?’
‘I’ve listened to the same Queen song ten times.’
The crew all nod their heads like this is a perfectly normal conversation to be having before a transatlantic flight.
My mum disappeared just as quickly as she arrived, but not before we sat down with Soumia to come up with a plan of action.
Code named Operation Olly, not very original I know, but less crude than Soumia’s suggestion: Get Callum Bummed.
No doubt I’ve already made Galley FM headlines, but the gorgeous bastard who’s going to be sat in 4E is worth every humiliation.
The first part of the plan is to keep us apart until we get to New York.
Easier said than done when you’re both flying in the same metal tube with limited places to hide.
Ivy is gathering her things. ‘What time is Olly due to check in?’
Soumia looks at her watch. ‘Ten minutes from now.’
‘Come on, you.’ Ivy’s grabbing my hand. She’s acting like an excited puppy, if puppies vaped. ‘Me and Callum will walk ahead.’
Ivy and I have a slow walk through the terminal.
So far, she’s asked me about how I am, if I watched Eastenders last night, and which is my favourite route to fly.
All trivial conversations, but I’m glad of the distraction.
A quick glance at my watch tells me I’ve about ten hours before I’m the stuff of Tiny World legend.
Whether that’s positive or negative remains to be seen.
‘I can’t believe I’m going to do this.’
Ivy has a quick puff on her vape, blowing the vapour downwards to avoid detection from the rushing passengers.
‘I can’t make up my mind whether you’re brave or foolish.’
‘Can we go with brave?’
‘In my day you would’ve sent flowers.’
‘In your day they would’ve sent a carrier pigeon.’
‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Come on, I’ll get you a coffee whilst we wait for the others.’
Onboard the aircraft, the checks are done speedily and to standard.
Everyone is on Soumia’s side to make sure she passes her line check.
No one cuts any corners. Announcements are made by all the crew exactly as the manual instructs.
‘Number 3’s safety and emergency equipment checks complete,’ Sandra says.
Normally we’d shout, all done at the back, then make a quick brew before the passengers arrive.
I’ve already security checked the galley, making sure the seal numbers on the carts match the declaration form from the catering company, pulled out all the canisters to make sure nothing is hidden behind them, looked inside anything that can be opened – including the tea pots and ovens – and counted the meals to make sure there’s enough for all the passengers.
I pick up the handset and call Soumia at the forward door. A high-lo chime rings through the cabin.
Soumia answers. ‘Soumia, door one left.’
‘Callum, door four right. That’s my safety, emergency, and catering checks complete. Do you want me to bring the bread rolls up for the business class meals?’
‘No, stay where you are, he’s just boarded. I’ll get them after take-off.’ She ends the call then makes an announcement. ‘Cabin crew, boarding positions please.’
Jason and I paint smiles on our faces for the passengers who are just about to board through the last door on the aircraft left.
Jason is much humbler than usual. ‘Did you tell anyone about me and Skerrow?’
‘No, of course not.’ Soumia doesn’t count.
It’s mainly couples boarding today’s flight, all off away for a weekend to explore New York City. The excitement from the passengers is contagious. I forgot how much I love this part of the job.
‘34A and B, by the window on the left,’ Jason tells a young couple, both carrying matching rucksacks.
‘Welcome onboard, can I check your boarding card please?’
‘Are you sure you didn’t tell anyone? 28H, second aisle, window seat on the right.’
‘I promise. Welcome onboard. But are you and Skerrow together?’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Sounds it. 19F, you’re in the middle seat love. Jason, he’s never going to leave his wife and new-born.’
‘They’re not married.’
‘That’s ok then. 10A, you should have got on at the front, you’ll have to battle your way against the traffic.’ It amazes me how passengers don’t seem to be able to work out the sequence of seat numbers and get on at the correct door.
‘He said he’ll leave when the baby’s older.’
‘What, when it’s 3, 7, 18? Jason, they’re all the same. They never leave their wives.’
‘At least we’ll always have time down route.’
‘Welcome onboard… No love, no delay today. Is that you want? To be a flight deck floozy, only seeing your man at 40,000ft and in hotel rooms?’
‘I love him.’
‘Well, make sure he loves you, too. Don’t waste your life waiting for a man or waiting for him to change, because he won't. You’re worth more than that. 31 D, I’ll bring you an infant seatbelt in just a minute. We all are…’