Eighteen
OWEN
It’s been two hours and I already love having Zak here.
To be able to hold him and touch him whenever I want.
To look at him as often as I want. I likely would have sent out a damn manhunt after learning this man was homeless had I not found him today.
It might be unusually warm right now for March, but it is still winter. The nights are still fucking freezing.
He hasn’t left my arms since I pulled him here.
He’s made no move at all to get up. If I had it my way, I’d keep him like this for the rest of our lives.
To feel his heartbeat against mine. Feeling the warm puff of breaths along my neck.
The way his body fits against mine really does feel like he’s made for me.
“What would you like to do?” I ask.
“You mean right now?”
I nod. “Yep.”
There’s a pause before he says, “I don’t know. What do you normally do?”
The answer to that question feels incredibly evasive all of a sudden. What do I normally do? I try to think about yesterday and come up blank. Honestly, fucked if I know.
I snort. “No idea. It feels like one of those questions that when put on the spot to answer, you can’t recall.” I feel his smile against my neck. “How about we stream a movie and chill on the couch?”
“Okay.”
I grab the remote off the side table and shift us so we’re now lying on the couch. I expect Zak to roll over, but he snuggles into my chest instead. “You know, you can see the television better if you’re facing it.”
He smiles. The warmth of it spreads across my chest and I grin in response.
“I know,” he replies quietly, but makes no move to change positions. Which only makes me grin all the more.
We stay like that until I’m hungry, then I feed us both.
Eventually, we move into the bedroom and turn the television on in there instead.
I don’t think either of us is watching it at this point.
We’re just cuddled together, enjoying the fact that there’s no hurry to make the most of our time together.
No deadline for when Zak needs to leave.
We fall asleep tangled up, and I wake with the stupidest grin on my face when he’s still in my arms. Our new position suggests we shifted last night, but we remained wrapped around each other.
I don’t wake him. I love how peaceful and relaxed he is.
There’s no stress or tension in his body right now and I vow to make every single day like this.
When he finally opens his eyes, Zak smiles at me. There’s all sorts of emotions bright in his eyes. Relief. Shyness. Excitement. Fear. Happiness. Anxiety. They all flit across his face like I’m watching a movie.
I press my lips to his and he sighs. “Morning,” I whisper.
“Morning,” he answers. “I thought this was a dream.”
That explains all the emotions.
“Only if you’re going to say it’s a dream come true.”
He huffs, rolling his eyes.
“Hockey players are allowed to be corny. For the record.”
Zak grins.
I kiss his nose again and stare into his eyes. “Okay, tell me where you keep your belongings.”
He chews the inside of his lip for a minute. I watch, almost mesmerized, at the way his lip is crushed in between his teeth. “I don’t have much,” he admits quietly. Pulling my eyes up, I find he’s flushed. “The clothes I have are at Gravity’s.”
“So this is what we’re going to do today,” I tell him. “Aside from normal morning shit like getting ready for the day that goes without saying, we’re going to have breakfast and then we’re heading to the cell store downtown to get you a phone.”
“I don’t need a phone,” he protests.
“I disagree. You want a job, don’t you?” Zak nods.
“Then you need a phone so someone can get in touch for an interview. But before that, you’re going to need a way to communicate with whoever it is you need to contact to get a GED.
And before that , there’s the matter of procuring your social security card and birth certificate.
” The stress on his face makes me pause to kiss him.
“If it makes you feel better, I also want a way for you and I to keep in touch when I’m on the road with hockey.
I want to be able to text you, call to hear your voice and video chat at night. ”
“Do you go away often?” he asks.
I nod. “Yeah. During the regular season, I spend about half the month on the road for away games.”
He’s chewing his lip again. “In two days, I leave for eight days—four games.” Zak’s brows knit together. “We’ll talk details later. But my point is, I want to be able to hear your voice and see your face as often as possible. That means you need a phone.”
The stress is back. I rub my finger across the lines on his forehead. “If it makes you feel better, once you start making money, you can pay for your half of the bill. Deal?”
I think that pacifies him, though I have no intention of letting it actually happen.
“So, after we get a phone, we’ll head to Gravity’s to grab your things.
From there, we can figure out whether you need more clothes.
” Zak’s ready to protest again, so I press my fingers to his lips.
“I understand you don’t want to feel like a charity case, Zak.
I promise you, that’s not at all what this is. ”
“Giving me things for free isn’t charity?” he asks.
“No. It’s spoiling the man who has my heart.
I’d want to spoil you if you owned half the city just as much as I want to spoil you now.
Money isn’t the point of this. Communication is the point.
Your necessities being met. Your comfort and wants.
All things I want to provide because I care about you. No other reason than that.”
Zak takes a deep breath and nods.
“When we’re done fleshing out your wardrobe, we’re going to head to town hall and see what we need to do about getting your pieces of identification expedited.
We’ll get your name on my mailbox and stop at security to put your name as a permanent resident of my building and my condo. Hmm, what else?”
His eyes are wide as he looks at me, face flush. I smile and kiss his lips lightly. There might be more things, but I’ve already overwhelmed him. “Maybe the rest of the day we’ll play by ear. How’s that sound?”
Zak nods.
Kissing him again, I hum. “I really love being able to kiss you whenever I want to.”
Now he smiles and it makes my heart sing. “Me too,” he says.
“Go get showered and dressed. I’m going to get breakfast going.”
He nods again and I climb out of bed. It isn’t long before I have a handful of breakfast sandwiches ready and Zak’s coming out in more of my clothes, his hair damp and slightly disheveled.
He looks scrumptious. There’s something stupidly appealing that lights up inside me to see him in my clothes.
It makes me go all caveman and want to growl MINE!
Zak’s gaze drops as his cheeks heat bashfully.
Maybe it’s the hungry way I’m watching him.
Without saying anything, I pass him a plate with two sandwiches and then take a seat next to him.
We eat in silence. As with every other time I’ve fed him these, he makes it through one and a half, leaving me to eat the second half.
I go to clean up, but Zak stops me. “I’ll clean up,” he says quietly. “You can go get ready now.”
An argument is on my tongue because I don’t want him to lift a damn finger.
Not today; not ever again. But I nod and kiss his cheek instead.
“Thank you.” It’s going to be difficult for both of us as we learn to navigate living together and a new relationship.
I’m aware of his insecurities and his self-worth. Both we will work on.
Not allowing him to clean up may make him feel invalid. Maybe like I don’t trust that he can? Or it might just fall back into the ‘charity’ part of his thoughts.
I consider this as I move quickly through the shower. Somehow, I need to remind myself throughout the day to check in and make sure he’s not feeling overwhelmed and helpless. That’s the last thing I want him to feel.
Zak has the kitchen completely spotless by the time I come out, and it makes me grin. Part of me wants to make a big deal, but I don’t. You might treat a kid that way. Positive reinforcement party when they display good behavior. That’s not Zak’s issue, though. He wants to feel like he’s my equal.
So I don’t comment on how good it looks. I don’t thank him. As much as I want to do both, I simply pull him against me and kiss him until we’re fighting for breath.
Maybe I can keep him flushed like this all day.
“Ready to get that phone?” I ask.
He presses his lips together and gives me a tight nod.
* * *
Zak Ashland. I learned his name when he filled out the new contract to get his phone. When the sales rep walked into the back to get it from inventory, I whispered in his ear, “Your contract. Not mine. This is all you.”
He bowed his head to hide his smile, but I knew he felt a little better about it.
Now we’re sitting in the car that’s taking us to Gravity’s. While I’m definitely not opposed to walking, we have a long laundry list of things to do today, and I know we won’t get them all accomplished if we walk and take the subway to get everywhere.
“When we get in tonight, I’ll set up the rideshare app on your phone. And delivery.” I glance down at my phone. “And your wallet.”
Zak frowns at me, so I kiss him until the frown turns into a begrudged smile. “For emergencies, if that makes you feel better.”
He huffs but doesn’t argue. Pulling him against my side, I press my lips to the side of his head. “Zak, if I could give you the world, I would.”
It’s overcast today, making the air chilly. Especially when the breeze whips by. His reflection looks washed out in the window. “I know,” he says quietly. A minute later, he twists to wrap his arms around me. “I’d give you the world too.”
“The world I’d like is Jupiter. It’s the prettiest, with all the storms brewing.”
“Okay, but I want Saturn.”
“For the rings?”
He grins playfully. It’s probably the first time I’ve seen this look on him. “Yeah. Everyone needs a few good rings, don’t they?”
Noted. So fucking noted. Also, I’m going to make it my mission to see this playful side of Zak Ashland as often as possible.
“Oh definitely. I’m still waiting on my Stanley Cup ring.”
Zak’s brows knit together. “What’s that mean?”
“You seriously just stabbed me in the heart.”
His eyes blow wide, and I laugh, hugging him tightly to me. “It’s the hockey championship. You know, like football has the Super Bowl?”
He hums and I have a feeling that he doesn’t follow sports in the very least. I’m impressed he knows the words hockey and football at all.
The car stops at Gravity’s, and I ask for them to come back in an hour.
I could have ordered rideshares all day, but then we’d be at the mercy of waiting for someone to pick up our request. The team employs all kinds of companies on their docket, one of which is for transportation.
They’re who I ordered the limo through for the benefit.
I also use them for things like this when the occasion arises.
Zak lets us in the front door and I follow him up the stairs. He uses his code on the apartment door and lets us in there as well. As soon as the door closes, Gravity’s head pops around the corner and his smile is beaming as he crashes into Zak with a bear hug, making Zak stumble and laugh.
“Zaky!” Gravity’s gaze is on mine, his wide smile directed at me. Then he pulls back to look Zak over. “What brings you two here?”
“I’m here for my clothes,” he says, glancing at me and ducking his head to hide his blush. “I’m, uh… moving in with Owen.”
Gravity’s smile is brilliant. He clasps his hands behind his back and rocks on his heels. But says nothing about that detail. “You know where they are. Let me know if you need a bag or something.”
Zak nods and slips around the corner, leaving me alone with Gravity. He nods his head into the living room, so I follow. I sit on the couch and he sits opposite me in a chair. His gaze shifts to the door and then back to me.
“How did you convince him to move in?”
“I’m very persuasive,” I say, shrugging and pulling out Zak’s phone. “Do you want his phone number?”
Gravity stares at the phone, as if he’s never seen one before. A beat goes by and then he’s grinning at me all over again. He accepts it and there’s a little dance in his wiggle. I have a feeling this man doesn’t sit still for very long.
“He’s definitely got it bad,” he declares as he hands me back the phone.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve tried to give him a phone? Even one of my old ones.” He shakes his head.
My stomach flutters as I glance at the door Zak must have gone through. “Good,” I say. “Then we’re on the same page.”
The way Gravity looks at me, it’s like seeing an overbearing friend who tries to give you the shirt off his back when you so much as shiver.
One of those people who wants nothing but the best for you.
He doesn’t know me from any Dick on the street, but I can already tell that the look of doting excitement on his face as he stares at me isn’t just for Zak. It’s for me too.
“You’ll make sure his friends get his number?” I ask. “The two you called yesterday?”
“I will,” he says.
“Everyone will be supportive, won’t they?” I ask.
“They’re going to be thrilled, Owen,” he promises. “And don’t worry. There’s no way in hell anyone will do anything but encourage him to stay and be happy. We’ve been trying for years.”
Zak stands in the door after a minute, looking a little sheepish.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“There’s more than I thought. I… I don’t think I can carry the box and bag on my own.”
Fuck, the way he asks for help is cute. I get to my feet and hand him his phone on the way by.
“You’re going to need to remember to put this in your pocket, Zak.
” He accepts it with a huff. From the corner of my eyes, I see him slip it into his pocket and glare at Gravity’s beaming smile.
Seriously, I think it could cut through steel like a laser, it’s so bright.
But he says nothing at all. Wordlessly, I sling the duffle bag over my shoulder and then pick up the box of clothes. He turns and shakes his head. “I can carry the bag,” he says.
“Sure you can. But you have a big, strong hockey player now. No need to carry heavy things.” I bend to kiss him on my way by. “Let me do all the heavy lifting, sunshine,” I murmur. “I’ll carry you to Saturn.”
He releases a breath, his eyes shiny.