Chapter Fifteen #3
Dustin’s chest seized with horror. He froze with his hands on Elliot’s hips. Elliot had quickly buried his face in the sheet again, but not before Dustin saw the tears on his cheeks. His shoulders trembled and Dustin realized with a horrible sinking feeling that it wasn’t nerves or arousal.
“Elliot? Roddy.” He reached down and touched him on the shoulder. “Hey–”
“I’m fine!” Elliot flinched and shrugged him off.
“What’s going on–”
“It’s fine, just keep going.”
“Are you crying?”
Silence. Dustin braced both hands against his hips and began to slide out. “Don’t move.”
Elliot went totally still as Dustin pulled carefully out, then immediately rolled off the bed and went for his clothes. They were strewn around the floor and he snatched them up piece by piece with his eyes down.
Dustin stayed where he was and watched him. When Elliot had all his clothes gathered he looked around like a cornered animal, like he’d only just realized he wouldn’t be able to run out without putting them on first.
“Roddy–” said Dustin.
“Don’t.” Elliot dumped the armful of clothes onto the bed and grabbed the jeans.
“What happened.”
He shook them roughly open and started pulling them on. “I said it was fine. I told you to keep going.”
“Okay, there was no way I was gonna do that. What are you doing?”
“I’m just gonna go.”
“Please don’t.”
Elliot got the jeans on and left them unbuttoned as he grabbed his shirt. He shoved his arms into it and wrangled it over his head.
“Did it hurt?” said Dustin.
Elliot scoffed, rolling his eyes as he finished pulling down the shirt. Dustin just sighed and lifted his eyebrows, because he wasn’t buying that at all, and Elliot glanced at him as he bent to pick up a sneaker. “Yeah, okay, a little.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Ugh, just stop.” Elliot sat to put on the shoe. Dustin came around the bed and knelt in front of him and grabbed the shoe as Elliot lifted it to put it on. Elliot didn’t let go of it and they both held it firmly with both hands.
“Will you just talk to me?” said Dustin.
“No, I don’t – it was just–” He looked like he might cry again, and deflected his gaze to the sneaker as he pulled it out of Dustin’s hands. “It was just a lot, I just need to go home.”
“Can I walk you?”
“I don’t need you to walk me!” He finished with the shoe and looked around for the other one. Dustin located it on the ground beside him and picked it up. As he handed it to Elliot, Elliot hesitated. He stared at the sneaker, and when he turned his eyes back to Dustin’s, they were full of tears.
“I live in a hotel,” he said.
Frowning, Dustin took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “O–kay…”
“So it’s not really home.”
“Right.”
Elliot looked away and scrubbed his face on his shoulder, like the crack that revealed that particular chasm of vulnerabilities was more than he’d meant to let open.
There was so much more in there. Dustin was pretty sure this wasn’t about being homesick.
It also probably wasn’t about being surprised how much it hurt to get a dick in your ass.
Maybe it was both. But it was something else as well.
“You don’t have to go to the hotel,” he said. “You can stay here and be homesick.”
“I’m not homesick.”
“Stay here and cry, then.”
“I’m not gonna cry.”
“You’re literally crying.”
“I’m not crying!”
“You’re having a feeling, Elliot!” Dustin moved the sneaker as Elliot reached for it. “You don’t have to pretend it isn’t happening, you can just have it.”
Elliot stared down at him with his hair mussed and face tear-streaked and one shoe on with his pants unbuttoned. He didn’t even have socks or boxers on. He wiped his face on the back of his arm. He sniffed and blew out a breath and tipped his face to the ceiling.
“I should’ve just gone to my mom’s.”
Dustin watched him. “For the summer?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you want to?”
“No.”
“You miss her?”
“Her food is better than mine. So.”
Dustin put the sneaker on the floor, then took the other one off Roddy too, and snapped off the condom he realized he still had on and sat on the bed beside him. He put his arm around his shoulder.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
Elliot shook his head.
“If I promise not to make you talk about it, will you please just stay here?”
Sighing, he nodded.
Dustin climbed all the way onto the bed and pulled Elliot down beside him, turning him onto his side and putting his arms around him from behind. He put his lips to the nape of his neck.
“I thought your food was good.”
Elliot’s breath caught and held. Then he turned over to face Dustin.
Dustin froze, not knowing what to do as he curled into a tiny ball and pressed his forehead to the center of Dustin’s chest with his knees tucked all the way up.
Dustin stayed very still for a moment. Then he drew his knees up under Elliot’s and put his arms around him with his chin on the top of his head.
Elliot started to cry again, very quietly, and Dustin held him with his chest on fire inside and the steady beat of his heart against Elliot’s forehead.
He had no idea what was happening. But he was glad it was happening here and not somewhere where the kid might be all alone.