Lucille #2
Sam glanced at me, sighed, then raised a glowing hand to my throbbing cut.
I hissed as the searing heat dug into my open skin.
That was why I didn’t ask him for help. It hurt more being healed than when I smashed my head into the floor.
An annoying itch came next, then a soothing coolness that cleared my head. I must’ve had a mild concussion.
“Thanks,” I murmured, and I could tell he was trying very hard not to express his irritation.
“Word of warning, Aspen. This kingdom doesn’t know Lucifer has a daughter. You’re lucky you didn’t reveal dangerous information to the wrong people.” Sam gave Aspen a hard look, then left.
“No one thought it important to tell me Lucille’s identity is hidden here?” Aspen stared at us in disbelief.
I sank into a chair beside Ronen’s bed. “When has there been time?”
“Everyone you know in Hell already knows about it. Including Sam, the healer who scolded you,” Alexei supplied.
“Why are you a nobody here?”
“A nobody?”
“Poor word choice, buddy,” Alexei mumbled.
“You know what I mean.”
I huffed. “Do I? Or is the image of me floundering still deeply ingrained in your head?”
The ugly, depressive guilt he carried around spiked, stabbing into my chest. I gritted my teeth, hating that now I felt bad for him.
“Michael is still out there, hunting for me. The male we were going to kill together when I thought you were on my side, remember?” I eyed him, enjoying his silence.
But his guilt became heavier. “He told the council about me. And I’m sure they want my darkness purged from their world.
So to everyone else, I’m not a princess.
I’m a warrior indebted to the king, and I don’t have powers beyond angelic speed. ”
He only nodded, accepting the information with no additional questions or comments. And for some reason, that bothered me.
How did I process all these conflicting emotions? When would everything stop being so damned hard?
“MJ, was that my praesidium earlier?”
“Yes. It’s a protective state you go into when your cordistella is in danger.”
Protective might be an understatement.
“So that’s why she looked like she was about to murder me,” Alexei said.
I shrugged. “Only a little.”
Alexei smirked. “Go right ahead, beautiful. Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Alexei was a balm to the weight resting on my chest and a wonderful distraction. Maybe training with him would actually help me.
“Tomorrow. At the Shard Field.” I winked.
“It’s a date. MJ could even shoot arrows at you again.”
“Or Aspen,” MJ purred. “I’d enjoy seeing what makes him run.”
Ronen groaned, waking up. Instinctively, I touched his hand, our tingling skin easing something inside me.
“That’s our signal,” MJ commented.
“Our signal for what?”
“To leave, Lex.”
“What? No, I want to know what happened, and we need to tell him about Cecilee.”
She grabbed his arm. “You’re such a nosy little imp. They need a moment. We’ll tell him after.”
Did we? Did I really want to be alone in a room with Ronen after kicking him out this morning and potentially causing his drunkenness?
Aspen left first, and the other two followed.
“Wait, I—”
MJ slammed the door, and I was left in a too-quiet room with my heart rate spiking. A cold sweat gathered on my palm, making Ronen’s skin feel hot. But I was too scared to remove my hand. In fact, I was too scared to remove my gaze from the door and lay eyes on him.
Heavenly Hell, this was starting to feel a lot like the last time we were both in here alone together.
I could feel his stare digging into the side of my face.
A flush bled through my cheeks. Our skin still touched, but I was frozen and unmoored.
He unsteadied me, made me sweat, made my thoughts scatter.
Except… when I met those golden eyes. There, I found ground to anchor to.
There, tension eased from my muscles in the presence of a home I’d barely begun to know.
There the world fell away, my fears and doubts, and everything made sense.
He was the eerie silence that stroked goosebumps across my nape and a song that matched every note of my Infernus, every hum of Glory, and eased the staccato beat inside my chest.
The idea that I could feel this way about a male who only just started wanting to be near me was oxymoronic. My only explanation for it was our bond. Or severe emotional trauma.
Little whispers of feeling slithered across my hand, dancing up my arm, around my neck, and playing with my braid. Those damned goosebumps spread down my spine, and I suppressed a shiver, keeping my mind far away from that dream and his bed.
“Are you going to stare at the door the entire time, Hellion?”
“Maybe.”
“Can’t look at me after choosing him?”
I whipped around. “I did not choose him!”
His golden eyes glittered. I snatched my hand back from his.
“I didn’t choose you either!”
He sat up, his shadows brushing my lips and lifting my chin.
“Oh, I know, Hellion. I’d thoroughly remember if you chose me.
” He said thoroughly in a way that had my flush spreading down my neck.
A smug smile played at the edges of his lips, not fully there, but I could tell he was holding one back.
I could feel it, but faintly. “Our situation would be very different.”
I swallowed and stood, putting distance between me and his damned caressing shadows. “I’m confident I don’t want to choose either of you. I think I’d rather run away with Alexei. He seems to be the only straight male bringing me any joy lately.”
Ronen’s smile flattened, and he tilted his head dangerously. “Careful. As much as Alexei’s my brother, my shadows can barely handle one male vying for your affections.”
“I don’t believe you.” He would never hurt Alexei. Even for me. I wasn’t sure I could find anyone who would want to hurt the male who leaked humor and smiles everywhere he went. He was a ball of energetic sunshine locked in a warrior’s body.
Ronen quirked a dark brow. “No? You almost received a taste of it in the arena.”
“Because you’re drunk.” Guilt swept back through me, reminding me of his flinch and the way he stormed out.
He analyzed me, face impassive. “I’m not sure why you feel guilty, Hellion.”
I fidgeted with one of the buckles on my uniform. “Because—you know—”
His face remained blank, waiting. Did he really need me to spell it out for him? He brought it up not even five minutes ago!
“Earlier?”
Ronen’s lips twitched. “Oh. Earlier.”
The ass was doing it on purpose.
He let me stew a bit more, the soft clink of metal filling the silence until I fisted my hand.
“You think I was so distraught by you and him that I drank myself into a stupor?” He rose to his full height, sweeping around the bed and backing me into the wall.
“You think I could possibly use alcohol to erase a memory that will forever be cut into my mind?” he whispered, running a single finger along my chin, down my neck, and following the line of my braid until it boldly stopped just beneath the curve of my breast.
His lips were right there, taunting me. Just like the desire that teased our connection.
It didn’t matter how muted it was or that with each passing second it faded more behind his block.
Not when the heady feeling wrapped around me in an intoxicating embrace, much like his spicy balsam-and-clove scent.
Finally, the smile he’d been holding back spread.
He stepped into my body, pressing against me as he leaned down to my ear.
I felt like I was burning, melting, falling into a blissful drug.
My eyes fluttered as his breath brushed my neck.
“I will never forget. So I’ll warn you. If you act on the desire coursing through your body.
If you so much as kiss me. I’ll see it as your choice, and I will claim you as mine.
And if I ever saw you in that situation with him again after I claimed you, I would kill him. ”
Cold air rushed over my heated skin as he eased back. I swallowed, digging my nails into my palms.
“Then I’d have to kill you,” I shot back, the lie easy and thoughtless.
Ronen chuckled.
Frustrated with his smug confidence, I snapped, “So then why were you drunk?”
“Your father isn’t doing well with his grief, and I attempted to help him. It backfired,” he said plainly.
My breath hitched. For a couple hours, I’d forgotten about my mother, even my father. I’d been so distracted by Ronen and Aspen, nothing else seemed to register. How could I have forgotten her? How could I have had a moment of reprieve from this grief?
I clutched at my chest, and my breathing became ragged.
How could I ever forget that I killed my mom? She had two months. Two months. Until—
Air stuttered in my throat, unable to force its way down.
“Hellion.”
Light-headedness knocked me to my knees. Ronen followed me to the floor, capturing my face in his hands.
“Look at me.”
No. I couldn’t. I forgot her. I smiled at Alexei. I worried about Aspen and Ronen. I thought of everyone but her. I couldn’t find relief in his eyes. I couldn’t. I deserved this.
“Look at me, Lucille.” Tingles erupted across my face, and a steady, calm warmth flowed down our bond.
I lifted my head. He knew what he was doing. I tried to resist the pull of his soul attempting to soothe me.
“Breathe for me, Lucille. Or I’ll do it for you,” he warned, but it fell flat with the warmth and concern trying to steady me.
I inhaled, matching his breath. We did it two more times, and he watched my chest expand like the moment it didn’t he’d force air down my throat and make me. Once he was satisfied with my breathing, he met my gaze.
“You do not deserve to drown in suffering. She would want you to live.”
“Would she?” My voice cracked, and I pushed to my feet. “After I stole her life and soon her afterlife too?” I fled from the room before he could use his eyes and words to make me feel better and headed straight for the library.