Ronen
Chapter
Twenty-Two
“And you—you accepted it earlier? So we’re… officially bonded?”
I ripped myself from Rune, having heard enough.
I forcefully dried myself off and changed into workout clothes. Sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Why did I even bother showering?
Leaving my room, Rune nudged me, wanting my attention.
I ignored her.
She did it again.
I have reached my limit for the day, Rune!
Anger speared down our bond, which didn’t faze me—not until I sensed her disappointment.
What? I snapped, connecting with her.
“Breathe, Lucille,” the pet said.
Rune walked toward the crack in the door, peeking at the hellion. She hunched over herself, breathing hard.
The pet grabbed her face. “Deep breath, sweetheart.”
I wanted to rip out his fucking tongue so I never had to hear that endearment again. But his words didn’t help her, and if she kept breathing like that, she’d most likely pass out.
I wouldn’t let that happen, even if I was pissed off.
Go to her, I ordered Rune.
She barreled between the two, forcing the pet’s hands off our hellion.
Might just find you some fresh, raw meat for that.
Rune’s eager agreement almost made me smile. Almost.
She sat down in front of the hellion, meeting her eyes with ours.
Seven Hells.
I immediately fell into her starry depths, her warm, gentle soul seeking mine.
It brushed against my wall, taunting and teasing me with the possibility of light.
Of something my shadows had never known, but desired all the same.
I wanted to give in. I wanted her to feel me and understand what she did to me daily—this damn resilient, beautiful female.
I wanted to show her how I could honor her, protect her. Love her.
But how could I when there was him? When I harbored so much fear and pain from my past? How?
The hellion’s breathing steadied, and Rune licked her, humming with happiness.
“Give us a minute, please?”
Yes, I’ll give them a minute to mend their wounds, and then she’ll be back in his bed tonight. Fucking wonderful.
I pulled out of Rune, my chest aching, my shadows seething, and needing an outlet.
I luscelered to the arena, thanking whoever I needed to for the lack of occupants. Forgoing gloves, I went straight to the punching bag and released.
Punch.
I imagined his face.
Jab. Cross.
I imagined beating him bloody.
Jab. Jab. Hook.
I couldn’t distinguish between my jealousy and my praesidium at this point. After everything that happened in the Shard Field, the dark beast haunting my soul demanded I run my sword across his neck before the threat stole what was ours. Or worse, forced her from this world.
My next punch split the seam Alexei had repaired, spilling grain across the ground. I wanted to storm into his room and rip her out of there, hoping it’d silence this… ache.
I rested my head against the punching bag.
All I wanted to do was scream at her, to make her feel what she was doing to me.
Footsteps approached from beside me, fiery red braids flashing in my peripheral. “You left too soon.”
“I’m not in the mood, MJ.”
I threw another combination at the bag, hoping she’d get the hint and leave.
“What he said—”
“I’m not. In. The. Mood.”
I heard rustling by the gear, which I ignored. Then a gloved fist slammed into my cheek, snapping my head back.
“How about now?” she taunted.
I spat a glob of blood across the sand and threw a combination at her. She dodged the first two hits, but my third landed in her stomach.
She laughed. Damned masochist.
A burst of fire flickered at my side, splitting my attention. I ducked, dodging the fireball, only to receive an uppercut to the jaw.
“In the mood yet?” she purred in my ear.
“Alexei and I don’t cheat,” I barked. At least not while we boxed.
“Since when do I fight fair or play by either of your dimwits’ rules?” She raised her gloves and formed two fireballs by her head. “Ready to go again? Or do you want to listen?”
My shadows shot out and smothered her flames. She luscelered at me, missing my fists as she skidded through my legs, engulfing us in a sand cloud. Then she did the most cutthroat, morally wrong thing she could and slammed her fist into my balls.
“Fuck you,” I gasped, dropping to my knees.
Seven Hells, I thought I was about to pass out or puke.
As if she didn’t think I was in enough pain, she clocked me in the jaw and knocked me to the ground. I groaned in the sand, clutching my nuts as my jaw throbbed.
She dropped beside me with a smug grin. “Now listen up. I know you overheard Aspen’s theory. I saw Rune, and you both saw me. I also know you left at the worst possible moment, only to come back and help her, then leave again. So you have half the story. I’m going to give you the rest.”
And I was going to lie there and take whatever she said because the thought of moving turned my stomach.
“His theory is just that—a theory. A plausible one we all need to consider. That being said, he couldn’t connect to her like a real cordistella. They aren’t bonded. You didn’t lose her.”
My relief hesitated to surface. She had more to say. I could see it in her face.
“But you’re going to.”
I glared at her. “Sometimes I wish you’d mince your words.”
She scoffed. “You never have before.”
“That was before you knocked me down after I was already pretty fucking low. Our day has been shit.”
She shrugged. “Yes. It has. So what? Suck it up, General. Now, not only do you need to do everything I said before times ten, but now you need to woo her.”
I sat up, regretting it the instant I did. “I can’t believe that word even came out of your mouth. How exactly do you expect me to woo her?”
MJ stood, unlaced her gloves, and dropped them directly above my aching balls. Luckily, I swatted them away before they did more damage and refrained from shoving a shadow down her cocky little throat.
“You have to figure that out. My suggestion? Do something that’d mean the world to her but make you suffer.”
“I would rather have the reverse,” I grumbled, closing my eyes and slumping back onto the ground.
“Then give up.”
Her tone had me opening my eyes. Her face had softened with a wisdom I didn’t have.
“Relationships are about giving. What have you given her? Protection? Great. It’s a start. What else? What does she know about you? What have you done for her?”
“What has she given me? What has she done for me?” I gritted out.
“If you really care about her, that doesn’t matter.”
“Oh? So my happiness doesn’t matter?”
“Being the cause of her smile wouldn’t bring you happiness?”
Well, she had me there. “Letting her save the pet was pretty giving of me.”
“Yeah, and look at you now. All you want to do is kill him. The one person she’s desperate to keep alive, not just because she’s his guardian, but because she still cares about him.” She slow-clapped. “Great giving skills, Ronen.”
My nostrils flared. “I can’t help that his existence threatens her life.”
MJ nodded, not in her derogatory way, but knowingly—understanding. “I get it. I even imagine Aspen gets it too. And yet, if you want a hope in hell of winning her over, you’re going to have to figure out a way to deal with your praesidium and jealousy. Or what you two kind of have is already over.”
I rolled my head back, staring unseeingly at the arena ceiling.
I wasn’t sure whether I was mentally berating myself for my actions, the unbelievable situation I found myself in, or the fact that my focus was on this and not the other important aspects of my life—like the demon infection killing blood-banded and taking over souls.
“Relationships are ridiculously hard, Ronen. They take a lot of time and effort. They take sacrifice.” She huffed, glaring at me like she couldn’t believe me. “I know you’re a little late to the game, but—”
“Stop,” I said, my voice low and demanding. The voice I used on her when relaying orders.
She shut her mouth.
Standing slowly, I surveyed her dirtied uniform and wind-tossed braids.
There was a lot I let MJ get away with. Alexei too.
They were my closest—and only—friends. I would continue to let them get away with things.
But there was only so much beating I could take in a day.
After Lucille lashed out at me, stabbed me, and ignored me, then the pet said those words and explained a theory that ripped my entire chest apart, I wasn’t sure how I managed to keep my cool while MJ pummeled me.
Especially after everything else we saw today.
Maybe it was the bags beneath her auburn eyes. Or that she hadn’t changed or showered yet. Or… that this was the end of Knox’s creation day, and it was a terrible ending.
When would we catch a fucking break?
“Come here.”
She listened.
I hugged her, secretly satisfied by her tension. Her first reaction to hugs was always hate. But then… she melted and hugged me back.
“I didn’t find Ridigar.” I sighed.
“Figured when I didn’t see his head impaled on the dais.”
I grunted. I’d only done that once.
“Alexei’s got less than a thirty-percent chance of keeping his wings.”
Fuck.
“Sam is the best healer in Hell. He can save his wings.” I tried to reassure both of us.
“He loves to fly, Ronen. As much as you.”
“I know.”
“This day fucking sucks.” Her voice cracked.
I held her tighter, nodding above her head.
“Woo her every day, Ro. Because you never know when you won’t be able to again.”
“Alright, every day,” I said softly instead of saying I’m sorry. I wish Knox were here. I wish I could take away your pain. None of it would help her. None of it would change the fact that she’d always live with half a soul.
“Good.” She pulled back, blinking aggressively. “Now get some rest. You have a lot to figure out, and I’m busy leading your Tormentors because your cordistella can’t right now, and you know it.”
“You’re right.”
But that didn’t change my stance.
“I know.”
I huffed at her snark and the visible shake she gave as she walked away, as if the hug had been horrendous. She loved our hugs. She’d just never admit it. Although I was pretty sure Alexei tried to grope her once. Emphasis on tried.
On my way back to my room, I found Rune lying outside the pet’s door. Her ears twitched when she heard my footsteps, then she lifted her head.
“Does she know you’re out here like a lovesick pup?”
I sensed strong denial from her. I let half the barrier down, allowing the hellion’s emotions to sift into me. She was stressed and exhausted. I wasn’t sure what she was doing in there. I wouldn’t let myself think about it. But MJ’s words rolled around in my head.
Woo her every day.
I wasn’t sure if this would qualify, nor if I was ready to woo. But it was something I knew she needed.
“Don’t connect to me, and I won’t connect to you. But try to give her some peace, okay?” I ruffled Rune’s head as her shadow tail whipped back and forth. Then I quietly opened the door and let Rune in, averting my eyes before I shut it.
The urge to peek, to spy on them, to just know ate at me.
Resisting, I went to bed and forced myself to sleep before I gave in to temptation.
I wasn’t a masochist. Or so I thought. I started to reconsider when an outrageous idea sprang into my head—a way to win her over.
Except I had no idea if it’d work, and it would potentially rip me in two. MJ did say to suffer.
First, before I decided on anything, the hellion needed to learn a lesson. Because I was still pissed at her for this morning. Utterly. Unfathomably. Pissed.