Lucille
Chapter
Thirty-Nine
Unnaturally bright morning light streaked through the surrounding windows. Rays reflected off the sand particles drifting in the air. Squadrons exchanged reports with one another. Some prepared for training, while others prepared for patrols.
“You are their leader. That means every decision, every action, every injury or death lands on your shoulders. You tell them your orders and make them listen. But make sure they are orders best for the whole. And do not let your frustration or anger cloud your judgment,” Aspen instructed as we walked toward my squad with Hadrian and Rune at our sides.
“I know,” I snapped. My nails pulsed against my clammy palms. Everything Aspen said was a repeat of what we had strategized earlier with Ronen and Alexei. My head was full of everything I needed to remember. Ronen was trusting me to do this.
Aspen grabbed my arm like I was a petulant child, halting me. “Remember, if it’s your life versus exposing yourself—”
“I know.” Ronen had been very adamant about my life versus a potential future where Etan found us.
“And I’ll be blocking my emotions. Ronen will be close by and tuning in if the guardian—”
I pressed my hand over his and gestured toward Rune baring her teeth at Hadrian for coming too close. “He’ll be watching. We’ve been over the plan. Are you trying to reassure me or yourself?”
A subtle blue light edged his irises. “Both.”
I gave him a small smile, thankful he wasn’t attuned to my nerves like Ronen. “I promise not to leave everyone and go it alone. Okay?”
The words tasted unfamiliar. Necessary. But unfamiliar.
He slowly released my arm and quietly stared at me, his gaze roving over my face. “You’ve changed from the girl I found in the forest,” he said softly.
“We both have, Aspen. But…” I turned and surveyed Hell’s military. Over the last few days, I hadn’t seen as much animosity. No facing off and beating each other to a pulp. No squadron deaths. Things were changing inside Hell’s military. I glanced back at Aspen. “Isn’t that the point?”
Something in his expression warmed, teasing his dimples. “I suppose it is.”
“Then let’s execute this plan together.”
My squadron stood near the other patrols clothed in their red-and-black Hell squadron uniforms. Daggers, throwing knives, and swords jutted from their backs and belts.
Oliver twirled his blade while talking to Ichi and MJ.
The others chatted beside them, a certain eagerness on their faces.
The same emotion welled beneath my sternum like an inner battle cry.
It demanded more from me. More for my kingdom.
I stopped in the center of their activity.
“Tormentors,” I barked, mirroring Aspen and Ronen’s no-nonsense commanding tone. Everyone but Matt gave me their attention. The strength of it may have tripped me up before, but I no longer cared. I knew what I wanted and what needed to be done.
“We’ve been given orders to hunt down the infected Damned terrorizing Hell.
This will be dangerous. We will need to rely on each other.
No petty games. No half-listening to my orders.
If we want to survive, you need to trust me as your leader.
” Certainty and unbounding strength drove my words.
“If you are not up for that…” I turned to Matt, stepping boot-to-boot with him.
He stared above my head, refusing to meet my gaze.
My Infernus and Glory burned through my veins, threatening to push behind my eyes.
“If your ego is too big.” I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. “Then you’re useless to me. And you can stay with the Bowel babes.”
Matt’s lips jutted out, his nostrils flaring.
“What’s it going to be?” I asked.
“Yes, Tormentors Leader.”
I stepped back, leveling each one of my squad members with the same question. They all nodded, chorusing, “Yes, Tormentors Leader.”
I didn’t linger too long on Oliver, MJ, or Aspen. Their gleaming pride made my eyes sting. I couldn’t even bear looking at Rune to see if Ronen was already watching.
“I know we haven’t worked well as a team, but you have with other squads and under other leadership. So treat today as no different than if you were with them,” I said, leading us toward the exit.
Oliver wedged between me and Rune, much to her huffing discontent. “You sure about this?”
Between the dungeons and listening to Aspen, Ronen, and Alexei go over every pitfall and possibility, then coming straight here, I never had time to fill Oliver in.
I took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze. “You can always stay back if you’re worried, Oli. I won’t think less of you.”
He gave me a small smile. “Not a chance. Lead the way, Tormentors Leader.”
Once everyone was outside, I paused.
Besides the green evergreens, the land appeared brown and snowless. Even the ice on the black castle walls was thinner. Water ran down them in rivulets as if the castle wept for what it once was. The dreary, dismal sight only furthered my resolve.
“So, where is our mission?” Rissa asked, stepping forward, her vicious mask covering her soul wound and matching her brass knuckles.
I turned. As they all eagerly awaited my answer, an unwelcome memory entered my mind.
“The Eternal Forest.” Where the trees were dying. “Let’s go.”
They moved, and I shut my eyes, taking a quick breath.
This was for the good of the kingdom. Aspen would be just fine.
About to trail after them, a hand grabbed my arm, stopping me.
“Ichi?”
She pulled off a necklace I’d never seen her wear before and held it up. On a gold chain dangled a dragon, its delicate blue glass cut into hundreds of facets. It reminded me of the ones she created with her water.
“The dragon in our beliefs is symbolized as fierce, strong, and wise,” she explained, rubbing the detailed pendant.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured, wondering why, of all times, she was showing it to me.
“I was given this on my precipice of change. I want you to have it.”
“I couldn’t possibly—”
But Ichi gave me no choice. She placed it around my neck.
“It’s the moments and choices a dragon makes that create the symbol they become. Do you know who you are?”
I met her one good eye, the strength and certainty I’d felt before filling me again.
“Yes.”