Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Nikki
The bonfire crackles and pops, sending sparks spiraling up into the darkening sky. The salty breeze off the ocean brushes my face, cooking my skin and whipping my hair about. I grab a rubber band and tie it back. One problem solved. If only my emotional wellbeing was as easy to fix.
I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them close to my body, staring into the flames. The smell of burning wood mingling with the faint scent of the sea fills the air all around us. It’s one of the most comforting smells in the world. It’s even better as my best friends, Sia, Courtney, and Sasha, are sitting here with me, their faces illuminated by the warm, flickering light, the stars twinkling high above us.
I know the conversation is coming, and I need it, even if I’ve been trying to avoid it since I came home. These three aren’t the ones who will let me avoid speaking the truth, though. It’s why we’re friends, why we get along so well. Honestly, the bottom line is that I’m tired of running from my feelings.
I love all three girls but Sia’s been my rock since we were young. She’s the first to start. “Let’s talk about the big, charming elephant in the room... Victor Fortier,” she says. Her voice is light, but her tone is serious.
I let out a groan. “I know. I know. I know.”
“You clearly like him,” Courtney says with a big grin. She’s sitting cross-legged on the sand, her long hair tied up in a messy bun. “It’s also more than obvious the man’s crazy about you, which isn’t a terrible thing.”
Sasha smiles as she sits, toasting a marshmallow over our beautiful fire. “You two worked incredibly well together at the festival yesterday. Damn, Nik, the chemistry was off the charts. I was getting hot standing fifty feet away. I went home and attacked my husband.”
I roll my eyes, but can’t help the smile tugging at my lips. “I’ll admit we worked well together. It felt like we’ve always been in the kitchen as a team, but it’s not just chemistry. It’s... complicated.”
Sia reaches over and pushes her shoulder against mine. “It’s totally about chemistry. You’re making it complicated when it doesn’t need to be.”
I give her a look, but she’s not wrong. I’ve been thinking about this all day. If I’m honest with myself, which I seem to have a difficult time doing, I’ll admit I’ve thought about it for months, maybe even years. It’s continuously twisted me up in knots as I try to figure out what to do.
“Victor is... complicated,” I say, using the same word again. I don’t know how else to describe him. I have a lot of words I can use but that’s the one that comes to the forefront. I sigh. “Victor’s competitive and stubborn and gets under my skin like no one else can. Sometimes he makes me feel like maybe, possibly, something could happen. It frightens me to imagine it though.”
“Something can happen,” Sasha says. “It doesn’t have to be more than a beginning. Love is all about risks, but it can be about reward too,” Sasha says.
Courtney nods, her expression softening. “You and Victor really meld well together. We all see it. We need you to as well. It’s not only about the food, it’s about doing together what you both love. You’ve always had something between you, but as you get older, it’s not going away, it’s getting stronger. The way you guys challenge each other, tease each other, and laugh together really is beautiful.”
Sia leans in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Not to mention how much the audience loves it all. You gained tens of thousands of followers after that video posted. There were over a million watching it live. Imagine what you could do if you teamed up permanently. You wouldn’t need the Food Network. You’re well on your way to success without anyone’s help. You can do everything you want to do: your vlog, a restaurant, travel around the world. The possibilities are endless.”
I gaze into the fire, trying to keep my thoughts from spinning out of control. They’re right. Cooking with Victor felt natural, easy, and fun in far more ways than I could’ve expected. The idea of combining forces, of creating things together, sounds incredibly appealing. But isn’t the thought of doing something always so much better than the reality of it? I don’t even know.
Sia keeps on talking, a dreamy look crossing her face. “Being with Zach is the best decision I’ve ever made. I fought it, and he drives me absolutely mad at times, but there’s so much good in my life now. Having a true partner at your side who believes in you, pushes you, and wants you to succeed is indescribable. I can see this with you and Victor.”
Courtney grins, her eyes sparkling in the firelight. “It’s the same with Blaze and me. Life’s better. I thought I loved being single, and there are times I need my girls and my alone time, but I can’t imagine not being with him now. He makes me a better person. I think Victor can do that for you. I think you balance each other.”
Sasha nods along, her marshmallow perfectly golden. “Callan’s my rock. He’s also the biggest pain my ass sometimes. That’s love, though. It’s messy, complicated, beautiful, strong, and so worth it all. You want someone who challenges you, who fires you up, who makes you laugh, and who you can share your passion with. It’s all a big game of foreplay that comes with one hell of a happy ending.”
“I get it, you guys. You want me to quit fighting this,” I say. “You do realize you’re a little crazy, right?”
“We take that statement with pride,” Sia says with a laugh. “We want to see what the two of you will do together. Plus, we’re all sloppily, happily, stupidly in love, and we want that for you as well.”
Their words settle over me like a warm blanket. The thought’s in my head now, and it’s not going away. What would a life with Victor be like? Would we cook together? Probably. Would we keep enjoying it or would it always be a competition? There’s no doubt we’d challenge each other, push each other, and have some incredible make-up sex. Would this make us stronger, or would we tear each other down? I can imagine a lot of good. But what if it all went bad? Is this a risk I’m willing to take? Maybe.
“He wants this as much as you, if not more,” Sasha says.
“I think you’re right,” I admit.
“It’s okay to want him,” Courtney says. “We all let fear rule us for a very long time, but once we let that go, we found ourselves so much happier.”
I bite my lip, feeling the weight of their words. I’ve played it safe for so long, guarding my heart like it’s the last piece of chocolate cake on the planet. Maybe letting go of fear is the smartest thing I could do at this point.
“I guess it won’t hurt to accept a date,” I concede.
“That’s what I want to hear,” Sia says with a huge grin.
Courtney raises her marshmallow in a toast. “To Nikki and Victor, the unstoppable culinary power couple.”
Sasha laughs and joins in, and before I know it, we’re all laughing and toasting our marshmallows to the possibility of something new and beautiful... something real.
They finally stop pushing me and we catch up on our lives. We have no secrets from one another and that helps us stay healthy and strong. With girlfriends, life is so much better. Maybe this can work out. Maybe I can truly have my cake and eat it too. I guess the greatest things in life come because a person chooses to take a leap of faith.
I lean back and look up at the stars which seem to be twinkling just for me, telling me to let go of my fear. I’m going to take a chance. I’m going to say yes. I’m done playing it safe. If it works, it could be incredible. If it doesn’t, I’ll be fine because I have the best friends in the world to lean on. In all reality I’m not taking much of a risk, but it might be the best risk I’ve ever taken.