Chapter 11
11
TRISTAN
T ristan stayed about a foot away from Dianna as they walked through the snow along a well-marked path. Shane’s property stretched a lot farther than he’d realized. They were supposed to head out to an oversized sleigh that would be pulled by a couple horses. The driver would take them into the woods that grew on the outskirts to the north of the country club.
The air felt colder somehow, farther away from the buildings and the lights from the country club. Clouds overhead made the evening sky dimmer than it usually would have been at this time of day. They probably had only about an hour left of sunlight before it wouldn’t be very wise to chop down a tree.
A breeze picked up, tugging at his coat and the cowboy hat he wore at Mathew’s insistence. Dianna wore a knit hat beneath the hood of her down coat, but she still looked like she was freezing. Perhaps after they brought the tree back, they could get some hot chocolate and sit by the fire.
His hand tightened around the axe that Shane had shoved in his hand before wishing him luck. At first, Tristan had been confident that he could chop down the tree. But by the way Shane had chuckled and reminded him the driver would be more than happy to help, he wasn’t so sure.
Dianna clasped her gloved hands together and kept her gaze on Mathew, who wandered ahead of them. He stopped every so often to touch a tree branch covered in a dusting of fresh snow before moving on to the next one. It was hard not to stare at Dianna’s serene expression. Even if he tried, he wouldn’t have been able to imagine someone looking like they belonged so perfectly in a place like this.
It was enough to make him want to move out to this area. The people were kind and welcoming when he managed to get to town. He looked forward to spending time with Dianna despite not knowing if she’d end up biting his head off for saying something she disagreed with. He adored her passion.
He took in a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh. What was he thinking? Moving out here wouldn’t work. It wasn’t just him he needed to think about. Mathew’s well-being mattered the most. There was no telling how Mathew would do if Tristan uprooted his son to make him stay here. He’d have to make new friends, get used to new doctors and therapists, and that was if Tristan could find a place to live. Sure, Mathew had taken a shining to Dianna, but there wasn’t even a guarantee she’d be sticking around after this season.
One more peek in her direction, and his stomach tightened. The thought had been tempting, but his logical side knew better and that was why after the holiday, they’d head back to the city.
When Tristan and Dianna arrived at the sleigh, Mathew had already climbed inside and perched on the back edge with one of his toy horses.
Tristan gestured toward the horses on the other side of the sleigh. “Didn’t you want to sit over there?”
His son shook his head. “Molasses isn’t over there.”
Tristan glanced over at the animals. Sure enough, Mathew was right. Molasses wasn’t one of the horses leading the sleigh. He made his way over to his son and sat down. “I guess Molasses had other things to do today.”
Mathew shook his head. “No. Molasses doesn’t do jobs like pulling sleighs.”
“Oh yeah? How do you know?” Tristan bit back a smile, his eyes meeting Dianna’s as they shared a brief, chest-tightening moment.
“Because Molasses is show horse,” Mathew said with a matter-of-fact tone.
Tristan chuckled and his eyes found Dianna’s again. It was small, but something passed between them. Right now she was one of the only people who could appreciate the little moments like this one. Mathew was special. He might not act like society expected him to, but he was intelligent. Sometimes Tristan thought his son was smarter than he was. The kinds of conversations Mathew could have was way beyond his age level. And the ideas he came up with when trying to figure something out… was pretty incredible.
Dianna took a seat on one side of Mathew and Tristan sat on his other side. It was momentary, like flashes of a falling star, but in that second as Dianna met his eyes, he could imagine this was what a life with her could be like.
Wishful thinking, that’s all that it was.
Maybe not even that.
There was a part of him that hadn’t quite come to terms with being a single parent even after all these years. He rested his hand on the back of their makeshift seat, behind Mathew, and when the sleigh lurched forward, Dianna’s arm flew to grasp the back of their wooden seat. Her hand grazed his and her eyes darted once more to meet his. Quickly, she returned her hands to her lap but not before he noted the way she pressed her lips together like she wanted to hide a smile.
He cleared his throat and settled against the uncomfortable seat. If it wasn’t completely inappropriate, he might have tried asking her out. If she wasn’t his kid’s therapist, and if he even had the time to date, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it.
The snow-covered woods passed by them, the scenic view the perfect backdrop for the holiday. The bells attached to the reins jingled as the horses trotted along the path. The farther into the woods they got, the stronger the scent of the pine became. Mathew snuggled closer to him, resting his head against his side.
Though Dianna wasn’t looking at him, her smile grew a little more. Tristan secured his son to his side by wrapping his hand around Mathew’s shoulder.
“Do you pick out a live Christmas tree every year?” Dianna asked over the sound of the horses and bells.
He shook his head. “Usually I put up a small artificial tree and we make homemade ornaments.”
A stunned expression flashed across her face. “Really?”
“Why is that so surprising?”
She shrugged. “I just?—”
He wasn’t sure with the cold, but he could have sworn she blushed.
“That sort of thing is usually something that kids do with their mothers.” She dipped her head and let out a soft laugh. “That sounds terrible, doesn’t it?”
Tristan laughed with her. “It’s not so terrible. I probably overdo it trying to fulfill both roles for Mathew.” His voice was soft, so much so that he didn’t know if she even heard him very well.
Her hand reached out and touched his forearm. “I think it’s wonderful—not that you should feel obligated to do such a thing—but there’s not a doubt in my mind that Mathew knows how much you love him.”
Mathew nodded and craned his head around. “I love you, too, Dad.”
Dianna tossed back her head and laughed. For Tristan, it was the most beautiful sound he’d heard in a long time.
“There’s no getting anything past him, is there?” she said.
“I don’t believe there is.” Tristan chuckled, then kissed the top of his son’s hood-covered head.
The sleigh slowed and came to a stop. The driver turned around, flashing them all a smile. “Any tree with a red ribbon is up for grabs. If you need help, let me know.”
Mathew jumped up from his seat and hurried toward the sleigh steps. “Come on, Dad. Come on, Miss Dianna. We hav-ta get a tree. It’s gettin’ dark.” He clambered down, jumping with both feet into a pile of the freshly fallen snow.
Tristan’s gaze locked with Dianna’s for what felt like the millionth time. He gestured for her to take the lead. She scooted past him, careful not to make contact with him. After their accidental touching before, it appeared she wasn’t as interested in him as he was in her. One more reason for him to get his head on straight.
He climbed down from the sleigh and watched as Mathew hurried ahead. “Stay on the trail, Mathew. I don’t want you to get lost.” He walked side by side with Dianna, but he kept about two feet between them for her sake. “What about you?”
She peeked at him. “What about me?”
“What traditions do you have this time of year?”
Dianna smiled. “We get a fresh tree every year. I like reading by the fire every evening in December.” She looked up at him. “I love making Christmas treats to share with friends and family. But I don’t get a chance to do that as much these days.”
His brows furrowed until realization dawned on him. “Please don’t tell me that I’m keeping you from?—”
She laughed. “Of course not. Things around my family have been pretty busy. Need I remind you of my father lifting his rules for his daughters.”
“ Right . The dating rules.”
“Bingo.” She laughed again, but this time it sounded more nervous than the previous ones. “So with that in mind, you can imagine that the traditions we usually partake in haven’t happened.”
“Well, you’re welcome to make Christmas sweets over at our place. I’m sure Mathew would love that.”
She glanced at him once more. “Perhaps we could make some cookies while I work with him on his educational goals.”
His insides practically sang with jubilation, but immediately he squashed the hope he’d created. “I only have one request.”
“Oh?”
“Sugar cookies.”
“I wouldn’t dream of leaving those out.”
“Dad! Dad! This one. I want this tree.”
They turned to find Mathew jumping up and down, pointing at a tree he stood beside. “It’s perfect, right?”
The tree was only about two feet taller than Mathew making the top branch only reach five and a half feet. It would be easy for Mathew to decorate all on his own if he really wanted to. Tristan nodded. “I think you picked the perfect one.”
Mathew beamed and stepped back. The process of cutting it down took more time than Tristan expected, and at one point, he thought Dianna might offer to step in and help. But finally with the right angle, he was able to get the axe to hit it just right. The final crack split the air and the tree fell with a heavy thud against the snow-packed earth.
Mathew jumped up and down, cheering excitedly. His energy was contagious and Tristan couldn’t fight his own enthusiasm.
Tristan gave the axe to Dianna and grabbed the trunk of the tree. “Let’s get this back to the sleigh and maybe when we get back to the cabin, we can get some hot chocolate.”
“Yay!” Mathew hurried over to Dianna. “You’ll come for hot chocolate, right?”
She sent a cautious look in Tristan’s direction, then brought her focus back to Mathew. “If you really want me to.”
Mathew nodded vigorously. “Then maybe we can make some ornaments, too.” Before she could respond, Mathew ran ahead, faster this time. It was harder to keep up while dragging the tree behind him.
“Thanks for coming,” Tristan said softly. “I appreciate it.”
“I don’t feel like I helped very much,” Dianna said. “You and Mathew did all the work.”
“You underestimate how calming your presence can be.” The words escaped his lips before he had a chance to examine them or consider how they might sound to Dianna.
She kept her focus on Mathew. “It’s funny that you say that. I haven’t seen many blowups with him.” She was quick to continue, her voice tighter. “Not that I don’t believe you. I guess I’ve just noticed that Mathew doesn’t need as much help as I expected.”
“You’re right. He hasn’t had as many meltdowns as he usually does. And I equate that with you.”
She slowed her pace.
“I mean it. There’s something about you that speaks to him. It’s like he can see something that I can’t.” That wasn’t true. Tristan could see a great deal about Dianna that impressed him. Mathew probably just connected with Dianna on a different plane.
“Thanks,” she whispered. “It’s nice to hear that.”
Before he could say anything else, Mathew scurried back toward them. “Do we have marshmallows? I want marshmallows in my hot chocolate.”
“If you don’t, I’m sure we could track some down at the country club. They’ve got to have some in the kitchen, right?” Dianna moved away from Tristan when Mathew grabbed her hand and tugged her forward.
“And whipped cream? I want whipped cream, too.”
She laughed. “A guy after my own heart. That sounds delicious.” The volume of their voices lowered the farther away they got. Mathew didn’t release her hand as they continued walking, choosing to swing her arm back and forth as he skipped beside her.
There it was. The moment he’d dreaded since he’d met this woman. His heart knew what it wanted, and it wanted Dianna. Shane wasn’t averse to it. That left Dianna. Would she even consider anything romantic with him?
Not likely, especially after what she’d told him about her interest in relationships.
It wouldn’t hurt to ask, though.
Would it?
Somehow he didn’t think that Dianna would make things awkward between them if she turned him down. He certainly wouldn’t. Mathew’s experiences here were too important.
But maybe he’d give it a few more days.
If he could wait that long.