Chapter 14
Vienne
I know he’s going to be angry with me, and now, as the entire mountain breaks apart behind us, I’m not so sure it was worth it.
But Mom is right. Despite the fun games we played, not everyone in the world is like Graz. Magic is too dangerous to exist, too dangerous to be trusted. If the powers that be discovered it, they would use it to destroy each other—and all of us would be caught in the middle.
When we’ve left the crumbling mountain far behind, I slow down to gasp for air. My legs and lungs both are burning, and Graz stumbles to rest against a nearby tree.
You did this? he asks, horror in his voice. He glares at me, panting.
I let out a deep sigh. Yes. And it was the right thing to do. You know what could happen if what we found fell into the wrong hands.
That doesn’t mean you should have destroyed it! He smashes a fist against the tree. We could have protected it. Made sure that no one else discovered it. We could have used it to make the world better!
It’s too dangerous , I say. You know it. You know what would happen if someone powerful got their hands on it, what kind of damage they could do. They could destroy the world!
When Graz levels his gaze on me, his eyes are aflame.
You should have asked me. We could have discussed it. But you just made the decision on your own! Now we can’t find out what those carvings mean. What if it was important? He fists his hands in his wild hair. I can’t believe you!
We saw it , I argue. We witnessed it. Now it’s buried where no one else will find it.
But Graz says nothing as he stares at me, trembling with rage. He sucks in a deep breath, adjusts his pack on his back, and with one final, scathing glare, he turns around and strides off.
Where are you going? I ask, perplexed. I thought that after everything he said about being mates , we would go searching for the last marker on the map together. We could bury the last evidence of magic that exists, and make sure no one else ever gets their hands on it.
Away. Far, far away from you. He marches on. I can’t even stand to look at you.
I stare at his retreating back as he leaves me, and my heart beats faster.
What was all that back in the cavern? I didn’t think this was possible after everything he said—that he would just turn around and walk away.
You’re leaving? I ask, though it’s obvious that’s what he intends. He’s going to abandon me.
Graz doesn’t answer. My chest constricts, tightening around my lungs as he walks on without a second thought.
The hurt from knowing what we did back in that cavern, how he looked into my eyes and kissed me like I was his everything, all those sweet words he told me... it twists and shifts into anger.
I knew it , I yell after him. I knew you were lying. It was just your dick talking when you said all that mate bullshit to me, wasn’t it?
This is all I need to be sure that he made it up. When Graz doesn’t answer, my face heats.
Fine! Go! I don’t give a fuck what happens to you! I clench my hands into fists as an unfamiliar sensation bites at the backs of my eyes.
I won’t fucking cry over an orc. I won’t.
And still, Graz says nothing as he disappears into the trees.
* * *
Graz
I must have been wrong back there in the cavern about who she is to me.
We don’t know each other. This shows exactly how little I understand this human woman—that she would extinguish what meager light we have with which to peer into the past. That she would destroy something ancient and precious, something we’ve barely begun to understand.
I thought we were kindred spirits, drawn by the secrets of the past, intent on discovering the truth. But we have nothing in common. I have curiosity, while she is destruction.
My guts ache and my heart pulls like a taut rope as the distance between us grows. But fate was wrong this time. Vienne isn’t mine—she is a curse. That she would do this behind my back, that she’d betray me in such a profound way... it’s a gift wrapped in poison.
I try to block out her angry thoughts as I leave her there. If she thinks I am a traitor, then she knows how I feel.
I could never be mated to someone so callous and foolish.
You trollkin are all the same, she says, still so close and present in my thoughts even though she’s a long way behind me. Deceitful and cruel. I knew I was right not to trust you with it.
I still don’t answer. She can think what she likes about me. I’m never going to see her again anyway.
Vienne continues berating me as I walk, until the volume of her thoughts begins to fade. Soon, I’m trudging alone through the forest, heading uphill as I make my way back to the path that brought me here.
Alone. That’s always how it’s been, and always how it will be. I don’t need her.
But my whole body aches as I go.
* * *
When I reach the closest town after a few days of hard walking, I sit down at the bar in the local tavern, ready to drink myself into a stupor. Once I’ve got a beer in front of me, I pull out my map. If Vienne has the same information I do, she could already be headed to the fourth marker. It’s far up in human territory to the east.
I need to get there before she does.
I’m halfway through my beer when one very large troll and one very large orcess sit down to either side of me. The orcess, whose hulking body blocks out the light, is familiar—I think she’s one of Gusak’s goons.
Oh.
“The boss wants a word with you,” the troll says close to my ear as the orcess grabs my beer and slugs it back. “We’ve been waiting a while for you to show up.”
Why would Gusak send them after me? Has he been keeping tabs on me?
Now I understand. He didn’t believe me for a moment last time we spoke, and he suspected I was up to more than I shared—so he sent these two along to tail me. They must have lost me here in town, and waited for me to return.
“Fine,” I say with a sigh, sliding a few coins across the bar to cover my beer and the food I’d ordered, but probably won’t get to eat now. “You want me to come now, I presume?”
The troll nods. “Now.”
When we step out into the afternoon, the sun is shining hot and oppressive.
“Did you have something to do with that mountain collapsing?” the orcess asks, surveying the skyline. “It was the talk of the town. We felt it all the way here.”
Great. I’m not going to be able to hide magic from Gusak any longer after they witnessed that.
“Yeah.” I shake my head. “A mistake I’ll never be able to take back.”
The troll whistles. “Impressive! You took down a whole mountain? How much dynamite did you use?”
I don’t answer.
Once the orc and the troll gather up three horses, we’re on our way. Thankfully they don’t tie me up, but it’s obvious I have nowhere to go or they’ll certainly come after me. And I have low hopes for what I’ll face when we return to Kalishagg.
Every step away from those mountains feels like I’m leaving something behind I’ll never get back.
* * *
Vienne
When Graz doesn’t turn around after more than an hour, I finally stop yelling after him. It won’t do any good. He’s decided.
He threw me away. As angry as I am, I’m not surprised, either. What happened was nothing. Any meaning I read into it is just that—something I made up, something I wanted to believe in because nobody has ever wanted me just for me .
Everything Graz said was a lie.
This rejection shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, though. It shouldn’t feel like a sharp cut into my chest, a blade burying itself deep and then twisting until I feel like I’m choking on my own blood.
I skate my hand over the handle of my pistol. Maybe I should’ve shot him. Maybe that very first time we met, I should’ve done the right thing and ended him.
Well, I won’t mess up a second time.
I’m even more certain in my mission now. Magic is a danger. I can’t let that orc, or any of his kind, get their hands on it—which means I have to beat him to the last marker on the map. I’ll have to pass through Culberra on my way, but then I can tell Mom what I’ve done.
There will be some parts I leave out of that story.
It takes eons to get back to the little human town far to the south where the train passes through, and I have to use some of my magic along the way just to feed myself. The days drag on as I hike, recounting every last thing that happened in that cavern, my fury growing and then abating whenever I think of what Graz and I did together.
By the time I reach my destination, all my anger has faded into a resigned melancholy. I’m aching all over, my legs exhausted from how hard I pushed them the last few days, my body tired to the core.
It feels even deeper than that, but I try not to think about it. It’s easier if I gloss over everything that transpired in that cave and pretend it never happened.
I sleep most of the train ride back to Culberra, but in my dreams, Graz looks into my eyes, and I can’t tear myself away from looking back.