Chapter 43
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Matthew pulled back another arrow on his bow, lined up his shot, and released. The arrow whistled in the air for a split second, then thwapped straight into the bullseye of the target.
He smiled with satisfaction at his three arrows centered on the board nestled in a crook of trees seventy feet away. He was having the round of his life, and he knew who to thank for it.
Winnie’s gray eyes appeared in his mind, and he smiled. She should be here any minute, then the two of them could finally chat.
But chat about what? Oh, he didn’t care, really. So long as it involved them speaking about her future at Foxwood, him sharing his true feelings for her, and his desire to have their relationship finally out in the open.
All this sneaking around was amazing, but honestly, it was getting a little old when all he wanted to do was hold her close, stare into her eyes, and kiss her until they were both senseless. That was precisely what he had planned for that evening, and he couldn’t wait for it.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to for long, as Winnie’s footsteps sounded behind him only a few minutes later .
He shot another arrow, this one hitting just outside the center before he turned to face her.
“Ah, my Lady Winifred. At last you have arrived.”
He grinned at her, hoping she’d join in on the fun. But when she didn’t smile in return, his racing heart slowed until it stuttered to a near stop. His smile faded away, and he set down his bow and arrow.
“Winnie,” he said softly, noting the red in her eyes as he came up to meet her, “what’s the matter?”
She shook her head, her chin raised and lips in a straight line. He hadn’t seen her like this dejected since the first festival hadn’t surpassed her expectations.
“I just got off the phone with my dad,” she stated simply.
His chest tightened. “Oh?”
She nodded, not a tear in her eye, not a flinching mark on her brow. “He told me of a new business opportunity he found for me.”
Matthew could hardly breathe. “That sounds…promising.”
“It is. It’s with a client who can bring my dad’s firm a lot of prestige, so long as I can succeed as their consultant.”
Her eyes peered into his, as if warning him of what was to come.
Somehow, he already knew.
“I have to go,” she said, her chin rising a degree higher.
When before, he wanted to reach out to her, now, Matthew’s arms felt better at his sides. He’d been about to tell her he loved her. He’d been about to ask her to stay, not to continue on as a consultant, but to see if she wanted to make their relationship last.
How could he have been so stupid?
“When?” he said, turning away.
He reached for his bow and arrow again, facing the target. It was easier to look at than Winnie.
“Tomorrow morning.”
Shock jolted through his body, followed swiftly by a deep ache that reached all the way to his bones. He tried not to be hurt, tried to remain impartial to the news, but the cut ran deep. He never should have allowed himself to trust her—to accept her help.
He tried to aim for the target, but unsurprisingly, the arrow bounced off a nearby tree instead.
Drawing a deep breath, he turned to face her. To her credit, a pained look had crossed her features, though she tried to blink it away the second he turned.
He couldn’t understand why. Why could she not allow herself to look upset about having to leave—or rather, choosing to leave?
In an attempt to make himself feel better, Matthew drew his attention to something else, something more distant than his heart being pressed for juice like an apple with nothing left to give.
“What about the festival tomorrow?” he asked.
“It’ll run just as smoothly as it did today,” she said with a nod that looked like she was trying to convince herself of her words, too. “You can handle it all, I’m sure. And you have the staff and your family to help. You don’t need me.”
He almost scoffed. How had he fallen into this trap? How had he not seen this coming—her leaving him on his own to manage a festival he’d never been able to manage in the first place?
“Well, I guess that’s it, then,” he said.
That was it for her being at Foxwood—and that was it for Winnie being a part of his life.
Still, the niggling in his heart could not be removed. Slowly, he turned to face her, forcing his voice to remain level. “Are you willing to explain to me why you’re doing this? Or do you expect me to just accept what’s happening, no questions asked?”
“You can ask me anything, Matthew. You know that.” Her voice was strong, though the look in her eyes was anything but.
“Then, why are you going?” he asked.
“Because…because my dad needs help.”
Despite Matthew’s desire and attempt to remain cool, indignation simmered in his belly. Not for Winnie, but for her father. “ Your dad is a grown man with an established firm. I’m sure he could handle this on his own.”
“No, you don’t get it.” She broke off with a sigh. “He asked for help. He’s been trying to build up his firm for years, and he finally found the company to help him do it, but he’s worried that the deal will fall through. He’s asked me to help him, Matthew. Me .” She took a step toward him. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? For him to see my value? For him to trust me? If I can make this work, I think he’ll finally be proud of me.”
Matthew longed to shout out how nonsensical she was being. They both knew she’d never be enough for her dad. He was just that sort of person. She’d said so herself.
But then, who was he to talk? From the time Winnie had arrived at Foxwood, Matthew had wanted to make his own dad happy—wanted to make him proud. Such was the prerogative of children and parents.
The difference was, though, that deep down, Matthew had always known that his father was proud of him, no matter how many mistakes he made. But Winnie? She’d never been given that luxury—no, that basic human right.
“Matthew?”
Winnie’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, her voice holding a tentative tone to it, as if she was afraid to hear the truth.
He proceeded as carefully as he could, not wishing to injure her the way she’d already injured him. “Does your dad really need you…or is he just using you?”
Winnie tipped her head to the side, her lips pulled into a frown. “I’m not stupid, Matthew. I know he’s using me. But after everything my parents have done for me, what kind of daughter would I be if I didn’t help them?” She paused with an impatient sigh when he didn’t respond. “Don’t you get it? I think I can turn this around to benefit from the job myself. I’ll get prestige, experience, and, like I said, I’ll have finally earned Dad’s pride and trust for myself. ”
“You shouldn’t have to earn it,” he said softly.
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t lucky enough to have been born into a perfect family, Matthew.” Her brow furrowed, her voice tense as she responded defensively. “That’s what we Knoxes do. We come from a cutthroat environment. If we don’t act how we’re expected to, we get left behind, and that’s exactly what will happen to me and to my dad if I don’t do this.”
“So that’s what matters most to you, not getting left behind in a corporate world?”
She looked away. “No, helping my dad is more important.” Her answer was weak, her tone unconvincing.
“Why?” he asked, desperate for her to admit the truth.
“Because not helping him would be selfish.”
“That’s not true. Not when it makes you sacrifice your own needs. Your hopes and dreams are just as valid as everyone else’s, Winnie.”
“Maybe in a perfect world. Not in mine.”
He shook his head, trying to keep his frustration at bay because he knew it was only a mask for the pain pinching at his heart.
“Your intentions are honorable,” he said. “But they’re flawed. You’re not leaving Foxwood to help your dad. You’re leaving because you’re scared.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. He’d found the truth.
His heart softened, and he dared a step toward her. “I get it. You’re scared to stand up to him, to stand up for your own dreams. I would be, too. Giving up is easy. But following your heart? That takes courage.”
He paused, praying his words would have some effect on her, but when she shook her head, all hope fled.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “That is courage I don’t have. And a choice I don’t have either.”
Her words pricked at his heart, his will to continue slipping through his fingers. “Everyone has a choice, Winnie. You can choose to stay here. Or you can choose to leave. It’s as simple as that.”
“Nothing is ever as simple as that,” she replied.
Matthew didn’t respond. What was the point? She’d already made her decision.
“I don’t want to go,” she whispered, her voice breaking. Their eyes connected, tears brimming in those gray pools he’d grown to love. “The last few weeks have been…”
Her words trailed off as Matthew shook his head. He couldn’t bear listening to what she had to say. “It’s fine,” he said. “You don’t have to do that.”
She nodded, her shoulders slumped forward, her expression dejected.
Matthew wished he could step in, call her dad and demand that he release Winnie from his manipulative behavior and force him to acknowledge how he was ruining his daughter’s life. But just like Matthew had told Winnie, it was her choice.
Without another glance, he turned away from her, unable to bear the sadness in her eyes any longer, his vision clouded by hurt.
“I really am sorry,” she said, her broken voice breaking him.
“I know,” he said, staring at the target as if the arrows were pierced into him. “I only hope you find the courage to seek your own happiness. Wherever that may be.”
She didn’t respond, but a few moments later, her retreating footsteps sounded across the pathway behind him.
With all his power, he fought the desire to look back at her. It was time to let her go. Time to move on. Time to remember that even though he may not be a disappointment to his father, he would always be a disappointment to himself. Because he’d failed to capture the heart of the only woman he’d ever truly wanted, the only woman he’d ever truly loved.