Chapter 3 #2
He turned his head again and listened, but whatever Frankie was doing, it was damn near silent. “What’s going on?”
“I’m looking up the dates,” Frankie said quietly.
Lucas scoffed and walked over, one hand in front of him until he came into contact with Frankie’s body. He felt…solid. Very solid. And very warm. And good. Kind of hot and— Fuck, no. No, no absolutely not, he told himself sternly.
“Move. I’ll read them to you.”
“That’s against—you know what, fine. That works for me.”
Lucas pulled his hand back. “I don’t want to cheat, okay? But you sound…” He trailed off, hating the fact that he was softening. “Stressed, I guess. What happened yesterday that made you leave?”
Frankie was quiet for so long, Lucas thought maybe that was his way of saying fuck off. Then he took a breath and said, “Elodie had a seizure.”
Lucas’s brows furrowed. “That little spitfire had a seizure yesterday?”
“Mm. She has cerebral palsy, so she gets them a lot. It’s been…
” He heard Frankie swallow thickly. “I have a court thing coming up for her, and I’m scared they’re not going to let me keep her if her health is bad.
Like…what if they decide there’s some other very rich family with more resources who would be better for her than I am. ”
“They can’t take your daughter just because—”
“She’s my sister.”
Lucas’s jaw snapped shut. “Oh.”
“It’s a very long, very complicated story, and I won’t burden you with it. But yeah. She’s, ah…” He trailed off.
“What? Hilarious? A huge pain in the ass? I mean, I was the reckless disabled toddler in my house, so I feel like I can come up with some pretty accurate adjectives.” He stopped. “Sorry, I know you said you didn’t want to talk about her on the clock.”
Frankie laughed very softly. The sound rumbled over Lucas’s skin, as delicious as his speaking voice. “No. Actually, this is kind of nice. But if I tell you what I was going to say, you’re going to hate me even more.”
“Dude, not possible. Trust me. Last night, I sculpted a clay model out of your face from touch-memory alone and then threw darts at it.”
“Wait…really?”
“Oh my god, no. I haven’t touched your face, you fucking weirdo.”
“Right. I, uh…my sleep deprivation might be making me delirious.” Lucas heard a noise he recognized as the one gesture Gage did a lot where he rubbed his hands over his face. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Calm down. I’m not that sensitive about shit, especially when the person has no experience with blind people.”
Frankie took a breath. “Elodie’s blind.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Mm. Which, you know, means I should know better.”
Lucas couldn’t help but burst into laughter. “Yeah, no. I mean, yes. You should know better, but trust me, I don’t think that’s the default. I have one good dad who is the exception to the rule, and a shitty one who still believes all the stereotypes.”
“So your mom—”
“Dad,” Lucas corrected quickly. “I have another dad, and he sucks big, juicy donkey balls.”
“Gross.”
“I mean, not literally. I don’t think. I won’t ask. He doesn’t speak to me anymore. He didn’t want to have some freaky autistic blind kid, so once the divorce went through, he was glad to be rid of me.”
“He sounds like a dick. Sorry,” Frankie added.
Lucas gave up trying to make this man not care about swearing. “Look, you seem like a decent guy, okay? I mean, you were an ableist shithead yesterday of epic proportions, but you’re…not a total monster today.”
“Thanks,” Frankie said flatly.
“And as much as I want to use that to bribe you into giving me an A plus-plus—”
“Not a real score.”
“—I want an accurate grade because I don’t want to kill my customers or whatever. So how about I read you the labels so you don’t have to take a hundred years. Then I’ll make you one of my famous grilled PB and Js because they literally cure bad days, and then you can be on your way.”
Frankie was quiet again, which Lucas hated. His friends had all learned to give some kind of verbal cues—sometimes humming or tapping their fingers. Any indication to let him know they were still present. He should probably coach Frankie on that so he didn’t torment his daughter.
“Why not?”
“Sweet. Now, get your nicely sized ass out of my way so I can do this.”
“Did you just…”
“What?” Lucas pressed.
Frankie let out a breath. “Never mind. I’m ready.”
Turning back to the fridge, knowing full well he’d at least touched the line with his toe, he smiled to himself, then set his fingers on the food storage bins and began to read.
“Your chariot awaits, my lord.” Gage said the words with a soft flourish, and Lucas felt a pang in his chest because while he fully believed now that romance between them would have been the worst thing they could have done, it hurt.
He wanted someone like Gage. Someone built for him and who loved him just as fiercely. Someone who embraced all his nerdiness and weirdness like they were welcome pieces of his personality. So far, he was zero for…too fucking many. Or however the saying was.
He didn’t do sports.
He’d only played goalball in high school to get his ex-dad off his back about being too nerdy and weak, and he was more than glad he didn’t have to sweat on the court any longer.
“Where are we going?” Lucas asked as he folded his cane and set it between his feet.
Gage sighed. “I don’t know. I want some comfort food, then I thought maybe we could go over to that new game shop and see if they have anything good. Now that my campaign is over, I’ve been thinking about putting together a new group.”
Lucas groaned as the car pulled out onto the road. “Dude. I know what you’re doing—”
“Yeah, and?” There was fierce challenge in Gage’s voice. “If you think I’m going to hang around with some guy who said that shit about you, then you don’t know me at all.”
“I just don’t want to smother your ability to make other friends just because someone was mean to me.”
“Bruh. I would literally invade a small country if the king looked at you wrong.”
“I wouldn’t even know if he was so—”
“No. Don’t deflect.” Gage’s voice was more tense than usual, and Lucas immediately realized something was wrong.
“What did he say?”
Gage cleared his throat. “Well, let me preface it by saying that everyone came to your defense.”
That did not bode well.
“I don’t actually want to repeat most of it, but he wasn’t being very kind. And everyone thought it was bullshit.”
“But?” Lucas pressed. “Let me take a guess. They still invited him back.”
“Carly said it might be a good idea. That it’s a good way to teach him how to be a better person and suggested that maybe you come back so you can show him what he thinks about you is bullshit.”
“Excuse the fuck out of me?” Lucas’s face felt hot all over, and he pressed his hands to his cheeks. He could feel the edges of a panic attack creeping in. “I’m not some token to teach bad people how to be less morally fucking corrupt!”
“I know, babe. I told her to go fuck herself,” Gage said quickly. “I left after that. I told her to call me when they got their heads out of their collective asses. And I’m not interested in wasting what little time I have off tolerating them when I could be hanging out with you.”
Lucas did appreciate that. He loved Gage beyond all reason. He struggled to remember what life was like before they met. But it stung to know how quickly his other friends would dismiss him over someone…well.
Someone they’d consider normal.
Half their group was blind, but none of them were also autistic, and all of them had a little usable vision, where he needed all the accommodation. He was used to being left out since leaving his blind school, but he’d held a bit of hope that he’d found his people.
The grief wasn’t crushing, but it was profound.
“Maybe we should just quit, you know? We’re getting kind of old for these kinds of bullshit social games anyway, and—”
“Only if you want,” Gage interrupted. “But hanging out with you helps me feel like myself. After everything back at school…” He trailed off, and Lucas didn’t press him to go on.
“Hey. I’m not going anywhere. I just don’t want to limit you because people find me, you know, off-putting.”
“Fuck anyone who feels that way.” Gage let out a soft groan. “Uhg, screw this. Wanna go to my dad’s for dinner? I don’t know who’s there, but I could really use a bunch of hugs right now.”
That was one invitation Lucas would never turn down. Especially with how shit the last twenty-four hours had been.