Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LUCAS
Tapping his foot, Lucas fought off the urge to start pacing the hallway of Gage’s building, mostly because it was a new place and he didn’t know it very well.
It was hard enough memorizing the steps to his front door.
The last thing he needed to do was accidentally get turned around, especially since Gage hadn’t put up bump dots on the frame yet.
This whole thing was also Lucas’s fault since he hadn’t called before coming over. It was an impulse thing. He begged Marc to run the truck for the day, then took an Uber to his best friend’s, forgetting that Gage was kind of going through some shit.
“Oh my god, he’s probably at his dad’s. I should—”
“Lucas?”
He heard Gage speak, but he hadn’t heard the door open. “Uh…?”
“Take three steps.”
Lucas did, hand outstretched, and then Gage’s fingers met his own before curling around his wrist and pulling him inside. Gage had set up his place the same everywhere he went, so Lucas knew exactly where to drop his cane and kick his shoes.
“Are you okay? Who am I maiming?” Gage demanded.
Lucas tried for a laugh, but it sounded a bit more like a strangled sob. “I made a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. You’re dealing with so much shit, and—”
“Lucas?” Another familiar voice. Gage’s dad. Fuuuuuuck. “Is everything okay? Do you need me to call your dad?”
“Nope. I, uh…shit. I just came to borrow a cup of sugar from my best friend.” He turned to where Gage had last been standing. “Best friend, do you have a cup of sugar I can borrow?”
“You are a chef—”
Gage was not standing where Lucas thought he was. He was probably talking to the wall. He adjusted his stance. “Yep. A chef who ran out of sugar like some kind of…I don’t know. Bad chef who runs out of things. Anyway, kitchen. Now.” He found Gage’s arm and tugged on it probably a little too hard.
With a small sigh, Gage tugged him back, then guided Lucas’s hand to the wall before heading for the kitchen. It was less than twenty steps, and it didn’t have a door, but it did have a wall, which provided some privacy.
“I don’t actually need sugar,” he said when they were alone.
“Yeah. No shit.” Gage’s dry tone told Lucas this really was a bad idea. “What’s going on?”
“I had a thing to tell you. It’s a big thing, but it’s not bigger than your thing. And I was being a selfish prick who totally didn’t think about that when I came here, and now I feel terrible.”
Gage let out a long-suffering sigh, and the sound of his footsteps told Lucas he was closing the distance between them. He had time to brace himself before Gage’s hands fell on his shoulders the way they always did when he was trying to calm Lucas down. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t want to say it where your dad might hear it. It’s embarrassing.”
“Did you get something stuck in your ass? Because you know he’s probably actually seen shit like that.”
“Oh my god, no. It’s…just. Personal.”
Gage was quiet for a moment, and then he gently tugged Lucas several steps to what he was pretty sure was the dining room. And…yep. That was a chair his elbow smacked. “Okay. Now, talk. He’s probably trying to eavesdrop, but just keep your voice down.”
Lucas was actually kind of terrible at modulating his volume. It was worse when he was a kid, but when he was overexcited or overstressed, it was harder. He cleared his throat and leaned his head in as far as he could toward Gage’s without knocking into it.
“I lost my virginity last night. Kind of. Sort of.”
“What!”
“Dude!”
“Sorry. What?” Gage hiss-whispered.
Lucas swallowed heavily and fought the urge to start rocking back and forth or swaying his head. Oh fuck it, he thought, and began to sway a little. He knew Gage didn’t care. “So my neighbor? You know, the hot one—”
“Oh.”
“No, not your hot one,” Lucas clarified. “My hot one. The older brother. Frankie.”
Lucas let out a sharp breath. “Right. Okay. You…wait. You boned him?”
“I mean, boning is not the term I’d use. We didn’t touch butts or anything.”
“What did you touch?” Gage sounded strange, like he was either going to start laughing or start punching something.
“His hand touched my penis.”
Gage choked. “Oh.”
“Dick? Cock? Pr—”
“Bro.”
Lucas flopped his hands to his sides. “I’m saying that I had an orgasm from someone else, and I’m kind of freaking out about it!
” He took a step back, realizing he didn’t exactly care if Adele heard him.
He was a grown adult, and he trusted Adele not to go blab to his dad.
Well…maybe. He began to rock gently, his fingers dancing at his sides.
The stimming was helping him breathe a little easier. “Do I look different? Can you tell?”
“I literally cannot tell. That’s the one thing blind and sighted people have in common. We can’t see when someone loses their virginity.”
He wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not. But that probably meant no one knew he was a virgin either. Had been a virgin, anyway. “It counts, right?”
“It counts,” Gage said. “So are you two, like…”
“No.” Lucas bit his lip. Hard. He’d been so dead set on not wanting a boyfriend, but now that he’d tasted Frankie’s lips, he wanted more.
Frankie seemed keen on the idea too. He’d kissed the absolute shit out of Lucas before he had to leave for work and told him to come by that evening if he wanted.
“Elodie will be there, but she’ll be happy to see you too.”
See him too. Just like Frankie would.
“I think it’s just a friends thing,” Lucas finished. “With sexy benefits.”
“Is that…bad or good? Because dude, while I trust you to know your own mind, I don’t want some older fuck-ass player convincing you it’s for the best. I literally will murder him. I’d get away with it too. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
Lucas’s entire body softened, and he reached out, finding Gage and tugging him into his arms. “Was today bad?”
“It wasn’t great. My dad’s having a panic attack about possibly being a grandpa alongside panicking that his one and only son was…
you know. Assaulted. He says he doesn’t know what to hope for, which puts more pressure on me because, like, if it’s my kid, can I just walk away? When people here will love her?”
Lucas’s heart twisted in his chest. He’d never really wanted kids before, but things felt different now. And he knew that if Gage had a baby, he’d love it with every atom of his body. But there was a cost to all of this. A cost to Gage that no one should ever have to pay.
Lucas set his hands on the sides of Gage’s neck, feeling for his pulse, feeling the way his skin was heating up like he was flushed and anxious. “How can I help?”
“You can’t.”
Lucas wanted to argue with that because he literally would attempt to conquer a small country if Gage asked him to. But he also knew that not every problem had a solution. At least, not one he could provide.
“I’m heading out of town for a few weeks. My dad, Kash, and I are taking a little break.”
Lucas’s heart ached for how much he knew Gage needed it. And for the fact that he didn’t need Lucas. But they were getting older. They were stepping further and further apart. It was natural, but it hurt.
“Oh. You can come if—”
Lucas squeezed him tightly. “I know you need your family.”
“You are my family.”
There were footsteps, and then Adele said, “He’s right. You are.”
Lucas managed a smile and bowed his head. “I know. But also, I’m not. This is some serious shit, and I have a lot to manage with the truck.”
“Which you’re supposed to be opening right now?” Gage questioned.
Lucas shrugged. “I had a day off. Last night was a lot.”
Adele sighed, and his footsteps got closer. Lucas braced himself for the large hand that patted the center of his back. Adele’s presence had always been large and looming. It felt a bit like when Lucas approached very tall buildings. He dampened all the sound around him.
“I’m not gonna give you a lecture, but I do want you to promise me you’re being safe.”
“We were totally safe,” Lucas said. He was mostly telling the truth, except they hadn’t even talked about condoms.
“And that just because it’s shaped like a dick or a butt plug doesn’t mean it’s for there,” Adele went on.
“Oh my god, Dad! Please set me on fire, Lucas. Please. I can’t take this.”
“That’s not funny,” Adele said tightly.
Gage groaned. “It’s been a million years. It’s allowed to be funny now.”
“Not to me.” Adele gave Lucas a pat one more time, then said, “Are you gonna hang around for the afternoon?”
“No,” Lucas said while Gage said, “Duh.”
Lucas shook his head. “Seriously, no. I just wanted to…”
“Borrow a cup of sugar?” Adele asked, a smile in his voice.
Lucas felt his cheeks heat up. “I just remembered sugar is super bad for you, so never mind. Anyway, I’ll call my Uber now—”
“I’ll take you. Back to your place, yeah?”
Lucas bit his lip. He had an idea. Possibly a bad idea. Possibly a really fucking good idea. Possibly people would get fired idea. “Actually, I need to speak to someone at the health inspector office. Do you know where that is?”
“Yeah. Right next to City Hall,” Adele said. “You need me to go with you?”
While Lucas felt like he was going to choke on his own tongue, Gage sounded like he already had. He coughed loudly as Lucas tried for a big, sunny grin. “I think I can handle it.”
“You two are being weird, and I’ve decided I don’t want to know.” Adele touched Lucas’s shoulder. “Come on. I can give you a ride there. I have to pick up a few things before we leave town.”
Then he was gone, his steps heavy as he walked away. Lucas sighed and turned back to Gage, who yanked him into a hug. “You sure you don’t want to come? I might need you.”
“Yes. It’s time to put on those big-boy pants you claim you have,” Lucas said. “And if you actually need me, all you have to do is call. I’ll hitchhike if I have to. I’m super good at sex now. I can pay my own way.”
“You’re a fucking goblin.”