18. Thora
THORA
O ne week later, Thora, Rosie, and Reggie were in Finn’s car on the way to a shop situated in a sprawling industrial park, an hour away from the village.
Finn had spoken to Pearl, and she’d agreed to help him with the proposal too.
They planned it for the following Sunday evening, when the café would be closed, enabling them to prepare everything.
‘I hope they have what I need in stock,’ Finn said.
‘So do I.’ Thora glanced at the list on her phone. It was quite ambitious, but if Finn could pull it off, it would be amazing.
Finn pulled into the carpark and cut the engine. ‘OK, team, you all know what you’re looking for?’
In the back, Rosie and Reggie nodded. ‘Yes, Dad! We know what we need to get.’
‘Ah look, there’s Lucas.’ Finn pointed at another car and Lucas waved at them from the driver’s side window.
‘I didn’t know Lucas was joining us.’ Thora’s stomach somersaulted.
‘Well he’s involved in the proposal plans so I thought he could help us today too.’ Finn grinned at her. ‘The more the merrier.’
Thora narrowed her eyes at him but kept quiet.
Whatever she said would come out wrong, so she was better off saying nothing at all on the subject of Lucas.
She told Finn about the kiss with Lucas, and he was delighted, urging her to pursue her former boyfriend.
He said she’d only regret it if she didn’t give it one more chance.
They got out of the car and the freezing December wind whistled across the vast carpark, greeting them like it had missed them and was desperate to connect again. It crept around exposed skin on faces and necks, making eyes water and noses sting.
‘It’s so cold!’ Rosie said, teeth chattering, as they hurried towards the automatic doors of the shop and dashed inside.
The interior wasn’t much warmer than outside, with its high ceiling and puny heating fans. Thora stuffed her gloved hands deep into her coat pockets and hunched her shoulders forwards.
‘OK then, we should split into teams,’ Finn said. ‘Rosie and Reggie, come with me, and Thora you go with Lucas.’
Thora flashed Finn a look that could kill, and he sniggered behind his hand. He’d clearly planned this all in advance.
‘Do you have the list?’ Finn asked.
‘For the millionth time, yes, I have the list.’ Thora crossed her arms over her chest.
‘Right well, if we both get trollies, then we can load up and meet at the tills in about forty-five minutes.’ Finn looked at his smartwatch as if to confirm the timing.
The shop was basically a warehouse filled with lots of different products, and Thora realised it could easily take them that long to work their way around it.
‘See you soon!’ Lucas said. He went to get a trolley then brought it to Thora and asked, ‘Where’s Barry?’
‘With his grandparents. I thought it would be too cold here for him and he likes to have some time with Mum and Dad. They spoil him rotten.’
‘I bet they do.’ Lucas laughed. ‘Shall I push?’ he gestured at the trolley.
‘Sure.’ She smiled.
‘So what’s first on our list?’ Lucas asked.
‘Crepe paper.’ Thora scanned the signs hanging from the ceiling. ‘Art and craft supplies are over that way.’
‘Then that’s where we head first.’ Lucas pushed the trolley, and she trotted along next to him.
Tinny speakers played Christmas hits above their heads, the sound scratchy yet cheerful as it bounced off the metal rafters while harsh strip lights buzzed, bleaching everything with their cold, artificial light.
Finn and the twins had already gone to the opposite end of the shop, leaving her alone with Lucas.
It was a Friday evening and fairly quiet, but then she guessed most people would be at home having their dinner and relaxing in front of the TV now, not freezing their backsides off as they tried to find what Finn wanted for his grand proposal.
‘It’s a great idea, isn’t it?’ Lucas asked.
‘What is?’
‘Finn’s proposal.’
‘Oh! Yes. It’s brilliant. It should be a lot of fun. This is far more adventurous than when he proposed to me.’
‘How did he do it?’
‘We were watching Four Weddings and a Funeral on TV after stuffing our faces with pizza and Finn just said, “Do you think we should get married?”. I thought about it then said yes. It wasn’t grandly romantic, glamorous or adventurous, but I’d given up on being swept off my feet by that point and so it seemed fine. ’
They’d reached the arts and crafts aisle and so Thora looked around for crepe paper.
‘I’m sorry,’ Lucas said.
‘What for?’
‘Well … you should have had a romantic proposal that swept you off your feet.’
Thora glanced at him, not trusting herself to meet his eyes for long. She could feel the magnetic force pulling her to step into his embrace and kiss him hard, and she had to fight it because this was not the right time or place.
‘It was fine. It summed up our relationship, really: good friends who were comfortable together. If he’d gone all out for me, I’d have felt weird about it.’
Lucas scuffed the toe of one of his boots against the tiled floor. ‘It’s not good enough for you, though.’
‘It doesn’t matter. What matters is helping Finn to make this a wonderful proposal. I can’t wait to see Titus’ face.’
‘He’s going to have a surprise for sure.’ Lucas reached out and grabbed a packet from the shelf. ‘Green crepe paper.’
‘Excellent. Can you grab some more? We also need red, gold and silver.’
‘Sure.’
They worked their way along the aisle putting cotton wool, glue, glitter, and other items into the trolley.
Thora felt at ease with Lucas in this situation and she could let her shoulders relax and exhale the tension that had built when Finn had spotted Lucas’ car.
It was OK, she told herself. Lucas was a friend and they could chat as easily as they used to do.
There was no pressure. They were simply getting to know each other again.
‘What’s next?’ he asked as they reached the end of the aisle.
‘We need some … boxes.’
‘What type?’ He frowned.
‘Different sizes and colours. The kind you put Christmas gifts in.’
‘OK then.’
They found the correct aisle and strolled along, collecting what they needed.
‘I wish I’d proposed to you,’ Lucas said, making Thora freeze on the spot like they were playing musical statues.
‘P-pardon?’ She turned to face him and saw that he was deadly serious.
‘I was an idiot. I should have come back to Cornwall after you left London and proposed in a way that made you understand how much I loved you.’
‘Oh Lucas…’ She stepped closer and touched his arm. ‘Please don’t do this to yourself now. There’s no point.’
‘But Thora … I can’t help thinking about it. If I’d just…’
‘Hey…’ She reached up and pressed her right hand to his cheek, felt the scrape of stubble on his skin beneath her palm. ‘It’s OK.’
His eyes drank her in and she felt the heat of his body, smelt the mint on his breath and the spicey-woodsy cologne he was wearing.
Her skin tingled, as he leant closer to her, his gaze moving to her lips.
When he kissed her, the ground beneath her feet shifted and she grabbed his shoulders and held on tight.
His hands were on the small of her back and he was supporting her, keeping her upright with his strength.
It had been so long since a man had held her this way and she felt the years falling away.
She was no longer worried about anything other than this moment, right here and now.
They kissed for what felt like hours, but it must have been mere seconds and she realised she could hear giggling.
She pulled away from Lucas and met his eyes, then turned her head and spotted Rosie.
‘Shit!’ she muttered as she pushed away from Lucas.
He’d turned to the shelves and was feigning interest in some Christmas gift bags hanging on the arm of a large plastic Santa that had seen better days.
Its one eye stared up at the ceiling and the other down at the tiled floor while its red jerkin was open at the front exposing a sagging plastic belly.
Someone had scrawled graffiti on the belly, words that would make a sailor blush.
‘Oh, hey Rosie.’ Thora looked at her daughter as she adjusted her bobble hat. ‘How’s it going?’
Rosie raised her perfectly shaped brows and folded her arms across her chest. ‘Fine, Mum. We’ve got what we needed apart from some tiny bells. I’m more interested in what’s going on here.’
‘Oh … I had something in my eye, didn’t I, Lucas?’
He turned around and nodded. ‘Glitter.’ His cheeks were scarlet and his lips were glossy with coconut lip balm that had transferred from Thora. ‘Your mum had glitter in her eye and I was getting it out and then I slipped and I … Well, I slipped and?—.’
‘And Reggie can bottom burp jingle bells!’ Rosie laughed.
‘I’m almost sixteen, you guys. I can tell when two adults have the hots for each other.
Just next time, get a room because no one wants to see that!
’ She made a vomiting action, sticking her finger down her throat and rolling her eyes.
‘Anyway, Dad said we’ll meet you at the tills in ten minutes. ’
‘See you there,’ Thora said, but her voice wavered, and so she coughed to clear her throat. ‘And … I’m sorry you saw that.’
Rosie’s face softened, and she said, ‘I didn’t see anything, Mum. Just Lucas being kind as he helped you get the glitter out of your eye. See you in a bit.’
Rosie disappeared around the end of the aisle and Thora placed a hand on the closest shelf and closed her eyes while she took some slow breaths to calm herself down.
‘Thora?’
She opened her eyes to find Lucas watching her, his face a mask of concern. ‘I’m so sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me. It’s just … It’s you. I can’t seem to help myself,’ he said.
‘I’m the same, so don’t apologise, but do you see how embarrassing that was for me? My daughter caught us kissing. I can remember what it was like at that age and to even think that your parents could be sexual beings was just gross.’
‘Yeah … It’s not what any kid wants to think about, right?’ He grimaced. ‘And yet here we are, over forty and still frisky for each other.’
‘I’m a bit surprised by how I feel, to be honest.’ She chewed at her bottom lip, gazed at the handsome man in front of her who could — it seemed — still kiss her until she went weak at the knees.
‘Well, it just goes to show that we’re not over the hill yet!’ He winked then took her hand and pressed a kiss to the palm. ‘We’re still young enough to feel all the feelings.’
‘So it would seem.’ Thora pressed the palm of her free hand to her cheeks to cool them down, very aware that Lucas was still holding the other hand between both of his.
‘Anyway…’ He looked around. ‘I think we need to finish finding the items on the list or we’ll be in trouble with Finn.’
‘Yes! We should get everything together.’ She shivered. ‘Oh god, what if Rosie tells Finn and Reggie about us kissing? It will be mortifying.’
‘From what I’ve seen of your daughter so far, I don’t think she will, but even if she does …
Is it really that awful? We are human beings too, Thora, and we have a history.
It may not be a simple history, but it’s there nonetheless and we have every right to want to explore our feelings for each other.
But perhaps we need to do so somewhere more private next time…
’ He gestured at their surroundings and Thora laughed.
‘I think that’s a very sensible plan.’
‘Come on then, lovely lady, let’s find what we need and go meet Finn.’
He took hold of the trolley with one hand but kept hold of her with the other.
They walked along the aisle, side by side, and Thora felt reassured by his touch.
By his presence. And by his words. He was right; they were human, and they were still young-ish.
But whatever age a person was, they were entitled to want love and affection, just like people in their teens, twenties, and thirties.
Just because you got older, it didn’t mean that you stopped wanting to love and be loved.
And now that Lucas was back, Thora could see that more clearly than ever.
Lucas had the key not just to her heart, but to the rest of her being as well. The question was whether or not she could allow him to use it…