Chapter 7
Austin
Every muscle ached as I groomed Ahwan and put her in her stall.
We’d pushed hard right through lunch to get the cattle checked and hayed, and the strip wires moved early, so Colby and Davis could go up to Selbyville for dinner.
Apparently, Mama’s put on a Thanksgiving feast worth abusing your body for.
Seth asked if I wanted to go too, and I told him no.
I had no money, though I didn’t remind him of that, and didn’t want to borrow any.
Besides, I didn’t want to hang out with a bunch of strangers tonight, even for more cherry pie.
Seth was staying back to keep an eye on the pregnant cow and the rest of the stock, and the last thing I wanted was to go without his friendly presence at my side.
A toot of a horn outside the barn marked Colby driving out with Davis in the passenger seat.
I glanced through the window to watch them swerve down the drive, snow fanning from under the tires.
Something in me relaxed as their truck pulled away, like I didn’t have to put on my very best face anymore.
Seth had seen me cuddling up to a horse for warmth.
He knew I didn’t have all my shit together.
I still jumped when he said from outside the stall, “Let’s get the rest of the nags in and feet picked out. Then we can go watch TV or something.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I followed him out to the paddock, where we spent a lively half-hour catching the loose horses and bringing them inside.
Turbo, the troublesome gelding, seemed to relish making us look like fools, refusing to follow the others into the barn and turning down a bribe of sweet feed.
“Right,” Seth said. “Done messing around.” He fetched a lasso and tossed a slick loop over the gelding’s head on the first try.
As soon as Turbo felt the pull of the rope, he quit running and bucking and stood still for Seth to walk up to him and attach the lead rope.
“He needs more work.” Seth led the gray gelding through the door I held open and into his stall.
“You looked good on Ahwan. Maybe we’ll get you to put some time in on this boy. ”
The offhand compliment warmed me all through picking out feet, checking water buckets, and putting a blanket on the oldest mare whose winter coat wasn’t coming in thick. When we were done, Seth led the way to the cow’s stall.
“She hasn’t touched her hay,” I noted.
“Yeah. Tail ligaments look relaxed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she goes tonight.”
“Should we stay here with her?” Spending the evening in the barn with Seth and the horses would be a pretty perfect Thanksgiving.
Seth shook his head and pointed at the ceiling. “This is the foaling stall. Kendrick put in cameras with a cable to the house. We can keep an eye on her in comfort.”
“Fancy.” Back home, Mr. Ford didn’t breed his own horses, and he never coddled a cow like this.
“Practical. Not going out in the cold when you don’t have to.”
“I suppose.”
Seth suggested, “Let’s stop by my cabin, shower and change, and we can bring the laundry with us.”
Us. Shower. Laundry. It all sounded so ordinary, and so good, an anchor when I’d been adrift. “Sure. Let’s do that.”
An hour later, we were up at the house, me once again dressed in Seth’s sweatpants while every stitch I owned except my underwear tumbled alongside his clothes in the washer downstairs. Seth opened the refrigerator and pulled out a couple of covered dishes. “Davis left us dinner.”
“He cooked for us, even though he’s off buying his own meal at the diner?”
“He’s a good guy. It won’t be fancy food.” Seth lifted the lid off one plate. “Chicken, baked potatoes, green beans and carrots. The potatoes will be crispier in the oven, but the microwave’s faster.”
“I’m not fussy.” I was hungry, though I didn’t want to say so.
“Microwave it is. I’ll alternate the plates.” He placed one inside and hit the buttons.
To the accompaniment of the rotating tray humming and the first scent of roasted chicken, Seth leaned against the kitchen counter and tilted his head. “If you have someone you want to call, to let them know you’re okay, you could use my phone. Or the landline, if you prefer.”
I winced because there wasn’t anyone. Not really. Joe, but I’d never memorized his number. Mr. Ford, but I was just one of the hands and I wasn’t sure he’d care. I wasn’t about to disturb him on the holiday. “Nope. You?”
“Davis is the closest friend I’ve got.”
“Does he know you’re gay?” Maybe that was nosy, but I wanted to know how safe I was here. “Does Mr. Bowen?”
“Yeah, they do.”
“Like, in the abstract?” I shouldn’t have kept pushing, but I did. “Or for real, like, they’ve seen you kiss a guy?”
Seth took his time pulling the first plate out of the microwave and starting the second one. “They’ll each need one more round,” he noted. I waited, but he didn’t add anything more.
My face heated. “Sorry, I guess that was kind of a personal question.” Half a night in a guy’s bed didn’t entitle me to his history. I dug in the silverware drawer, trying not to feel young and stupid.
“Yeah. It was.” Seth sighed, swapped the plates again. “Get a couple of glasses down, would you? That cabinet.” He pointed. “We’ll stick to water tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Here, you do one last swap of the plates. Another forty-five seconds. I’m going to get the laptop so we can keep an eye on Ebony while we eat.” Seth strode out of the kitchen and down the hall.
Well, shit. Way to overstep.
I pulled the hotter plate out, started the second one, and chewed on my lower lip.
Things had been so easy between us and I’d fucked it up.
Seth was gone long enough for me to set the plates on the table, fill water glasses, and wonder whether he was actually coming back.
I perched on my chair and stared at the steaming plate in front of me, regretting my big mouth, until Seth returned at last with an open laptop.
“There.” He set the screen where we both could see the slightly grainy image of the cow standing in her stall. She looked quiet, merely shifting her weight slowly from one back foot to the other.
“Not happening yet,” I said. “You want me to rewarm your food?”
“I’m fine.” Seth sat kitty-corner from me where I’d left his plate and forked up some chicken.
We ate in a silence that wasn’t comfortable. The strain showed in Seth’s hands, the way he fidgeted with his fork as he ate. He kept his gaze on the little screen, like that sleepy cow was the most fascinating thing on the planet.
I scraped my plate clean because, no matter the ball of regret in my stomach, food was food.
“You want something more?” Seth asked, pushing his plate aside. “I bet there’s cookies. Davis likes to bake.”
“I’ve never said no to cookies.” Right then, I’d have said yes to anything he suggested. “Let me clear the table.”
After cleanup, we migrated to the great room with the laptop on the coffee table and a box of cinnamon cookies between us. Seth fiddled with the remote for the TV, but didn’t switch it on. I stuffed a cookie into my mouth.
“Okay, so.” Seth clicked a button, and a commercial blared at us from the screen. “Oops.” He switched off the sound. The colors flickered across his face. I watched him, not the dancing sponge on the TV.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” I said. “I owe you a whole lot, not the reverse. I didn’t mean to push.”
“You probably should know, if you’re staying a week.
People might mention…” He frowned down at his hands, then set the remote on the table and stared off into space.
“I was with a guy here, for a while. As boyfriends, I mean. We met when Kendrick hired him as a seasonal hand. Miguel was…” Seth shook his head and huffed a laugh.
“He was something else. He did the gay rodeo circuit, bronc riding, and he was never one to hide, you know? Wicked laugh, bright black eyes, body like an athlete, which I guess he was. Made it to the World Gay Rodeo Finals once. I’d never been with a man like that. ”
I felt an ugly flash of jealousy I had no right to. I stuffed another cookie into my mouth and nodded.
“Don’t know what he saw in me,” Seth mused. “I wasn’t much older than him, but I was boring, in the closet and planning to stay there. He wouldn’t let me. Said we were too good together to hide it.” Seth closed his eyes and tipped his head back.
“Is he dead?” I whispered.
“Huh? No. There was an accident. Not involving Miguel, or only indirectly, but a young hand named Zachary got hurt bad. When the dust cleared, well, Miguel and I split up. He was training horses, last I heard. I haven’t looked for his name in a while.”
The pain on Seth’s face suggested he wasn’t over Miguel. I wanted to find the guy and shake him hard for ditching a man I already respected a hell of a lot, except I was selfishly glad Miguel was gone and Seth was here. “Sorry,” I offered.
“Yeah, wasn’t a good time. Anyway, Davis, Kendrick, Tiffany, and John were all around to see me kissing Miguel. Colby signed on later, but I’m sure he’s heard about it. No one’s going to give you a hard time here for being queer.”
“Good to know—” I stopped, staring at the laptop screen. “Hey, looks like Ebony might be starting.” The cow was down in the straw, her head turned to watch her butt. I couldn’t tell if she was having a contraction or not.
Seth leaned closer. “Right. Let’s throw the clothes in the dryer and head over to the barn.”
When we stepped onto the front porch, a gust of wind drove heavy snow into my face. “Holy shit.” I stared into the darkness. “Wasn’t this supposed to come after midnight?”
“Yeah.” Seth frowned. “I’ll call the guys up at Mama’s once we’re in the barn, tell them to head back now.”