17. Chapter Seventeen - Summer

Summer

The silence in Luca's old house seemed more blissful when I moved in here a few days after we got back.

I never wanted to accept this more than generous offer, but my parents fussing over me for the whole flight back and at home kind of sealed the deal. I know they mean well, and they’re worried after what happened to me. I really can't blame them, but worry is the last thing I need right now.

If there are people up my ass, I need them to kick it, not touch me with kid gloves because some son of a bitch thought it would be fun to drug me.

Funnily enough, the whole incident isn't at the forefront of my mind, though.

Was it traumatic? Hell yes. Do I lie awake at night, contemplating the what-ifs? Oh, absolutely. Right along with the best ways to hurt Tanner if I ever run into him again.

I’m not saying I’m going to do it. Our paths will surely cross again someday after all, but thinking about kicking him in the nuts still lightens my spirit.

My mind can be my greatest enemy and come up with a million ways of how the night could have ended had the Walker brothers not stepped in, but in the end, thankfully, nothing happened. But, thanks to Luca's insistence, I've agreed to at least be open to therapy. Although I'm determined to get a job before tackling that.

So, in an attempt to do that, I currently pace the room.

Ten more minutes until I have a digital job interview, and my heart is beating in my throat, my hands clammy, and I'm so thankful the interview isn't live because God, I'm sweating. Like, so much.

Hell, I can't remember ever being this nervous before an interview, but before I know it, the clock strikes zero and I log into the call.

"So, how did it go?" Millie asks me on the phone as I pace the huge living room of Luca's old home, all but stomping my feet to the ground.

"It was horrible," I hiss, barely able to contain my anger. "Two of the three people logged in like ten minutes late. One of them, who seemed like the human equivalent of the word ‘ehw’ mixed with a snail, you know, all slimy and just kept calling me ‘honey.’" I shudder just remembering it.

"They asked me if I had any secretary job experience, even though I applied as data security manager. God, Millie." I stop in front of the couch and fall onto the bouncy cushions. "Why do people suck so much?"

"Oh, trust me, if I knew, I'd tell you," she giggles, and Kayla cuts in.

"Fuck them, it's their loss.” Then she’s silent for a second. “Wait, please tell me you don’t intend to work for a slimebag."

"That's easy for you to say," I point out with a sigh and turn, hugging a pillow to my chest. "I had such high hopes for this, guys. But now? No chance in hell. I ended the interview early. There was no way I could listen to that bullshit for another moment. They even had the audacity to act surprised."

I go past the emotion building in my throat. “The job sounded amazing, the benefits sounded amazing. God, I had such high hopes.”

"If it only weren't for those fucking misogynists," Millie says empathically, and I nod eagerly, even though they can't see me through the phone call.

“Amen,” I mutter and throw the pillow aside again.

I'm absolutely counting myself lucky that I'm not in a position, financially or otherwise, where I need to accept the first job offer made to me, no matter how slimy the interviewers are or how horrible the company seems.

"Just be glad that they revealed how much they suck early on," Kayla advises me.

"I hate to say it, but you got a point," I groan and stare at the ceiling. This one is not as pretty as the one in Amsterdam. Maybe I should get Luca to let me renovate and put some kind of wallpaper up there.

"Right? Just imagine you'd only learn all this once you started,” Millie adds. "God, imagine rejecting another job for those asshats."

A shiver runs down my spine as that possibility floats through my head.

"Anyways, you two, I have to go," I sigh and sit up with a groan. "I've got about another thousand applications to send out."

"Well, if you ever decide to embrace the nepotism, give us a call," Millie reminds me, and I assure her I will before ending the call.

But as soon as I sit down in front of my laptop, a shudder runs down my spine, remembering the three slimy faces that had been looking at me from this exact screen only half an hour ago.

God, I hated every second of that interview. Yet, stopping one of them mid-sentence and informing him I would not be going forward with the application and wishing them the day they deserved before logging off made me feel really fucking powerful.

I'm just about to pull up my standard job site when I hear a knock on the door.

My head whirls towards it. "What the?" I whisper to myself. Who could it be? I don't think I ordered anything. Maybe it’s Mom or Dad.

Oh, I hope not, because I've been trying to train them to shoot me a message before they come over unannounced. I hate to say it, but I totally understand why Luca moved farther away now. Popping over to each other's houses for a barbecue is one thing, but it comes at the price of so far almost daily well-meant unannounced visits.

"Didn't I tell you…" I start as I pull the door open with force, stopping in the middle of my sentence when I realize it's, indeed, not my parents who are standing in front of my door.

No, the man standing in front of my door is too, well, Tanner to be my parents.

"Oh, hell no," I mutter and immediately start to shut the door again, but that sneaky fucker manages to wedge his foot between the doorframe and the door at the last second, cursing under his breath when I squish his foot in my attempt to close it.

"Fuck, Summer. That hurts."

I hate that the way he says my name still manages to send goosebumps all over my skin.

"Good.” I pull the door open the slightest bit, just to slam it against his foot again. “Go away, Tanner." In a move that's very mature, I start kicking his foot, hoping he’ll retract it and I can close my door.

"I'm sorry," he presses out, then puts his weight against the door to forcefully push it open.

"Don't you fucking dare come in," I hiss at him, fury washing over me like a wave.

How dare he turn up here like this? And how dare he force the door open? Hell no.

“Go away or I’ll call the police for trespassing.”

“Let me just remind you that you don't officially live here either," he says, and I freeze in my movement. “They’ll take you right along.”

I freeze, surprise making my limbs numb. How the fuck does he know that? Oh, no. Luca.

"Here," he says, just as I whirl around to, I don't even know, kick him in the shin, punch his dick, or slap him, I don’t know. Truth be told, I could go for all three of those right now. But I don't even see him because he's holding a really big bouquet right in my face.

"What the…?" I furrow my eyebrows as I look at it, shocked. Then angry. "Fuck you, Tanner. I don't want your damn flowers."

"Well, too bad, because I'm leaving them here anyways." He puts them on the table when I make no effort to take them from him. "I just wanted to explain myself."

"Well, I don't want to hear it," I say and cross my arms in front of my chest. "Leave."

"I'll leave once you've listened to me."

His hands are in his pockets now, and he looks at the ground, not able to meet my eyes. I’m so angry, he might just implode if he does.

"I got a call from Adam in the middle of the night. He got a message from Zoey saying she was in the hospital and about to go into surgery.” He takes a deep breath. “All of us were panicking, but thankfully it was a false alarm. I'm sorry, Summer. I shouldn't have left you like that without a message. I promise I wasn't lying to you when I said I wanted more."

"Tanner, let me make this clear, I don’t give a fuck. If I woke up, you were gone, and then sent me a message two hours later, that would have been perfectly acceptable. I wouldn’t have been thrilled, but I could have worked with that." I force myself to remain calm, taking deep breaths, counting as I inhale and exhale.

"We're talking about a whole fucking day," I point out, stomping closer to him and forcefully poking him in the chest with my index finger. "Twenty-fucking-four hours, where you not only couldn't be bothered to leave a message of your own accord, but you ignored all of the ones I sent you as well. No reaction whatsoever, you’re telling me you were too busy for a double-tap?"

I continued to poke my finger into his sternum, making him take a few tentative steps back.

"You don't get to tell me you want more. You leave me without one fucking trace overnight, no message nothing. And don’t put that on your sister fucking up her communication. Let's say it took you fourteen hours to the hospital and that's really fucking generous, what's with the remaining ten hours, huh?"

"It was a family emergency," he says, lifting his arms in a defensive gesture.

"Well, did you break your hand?" He shakes his head. “Had your fingers cut off? Did someone steal your phone?” He continues to shake his head, and a cruel laugh falls from my lips.

“Listen, I’m glad your sister is alright, but my issue has nothing to do with your family emergency, but everything with the fact you did not even think of me, not even for the sliver of a second it takes to send a goddamn reaction to a message. And you have a smart head on your shoulders, Tanner. You knew what it would look like if I woke up to you gone.

“And you still didn’t message me once everything was resolved. Now, why would I want more with someone who regards me that little?”

Emotions are starting to pop to the surface, and I bite the inside of my cheeks in an attempt to keep them at bay, but they grow stronger with each word falling from my lips.

"You're seriously trying to tell me you didn't have 10 seconds to shoot me a fucking thumbs-up emoji, to send a goddamn reaction to any of the messages I sent? Ten seconds to push down a button on your screen and leave a three-word-voice-message?"

Tanner mumbles to himself.

"If you have something to say, at least speak up." But he doesn’t. Instead, he looks at me with eyes reflecting my pain and I take a deep breath.

"Listen, Tanner, your family comes first and that’s understandable and admirable, but this,” I point between the two of us, “is not happening anymore. And quite frankly, I don't really want to look at your face, so why don't you do me a favor and leave me the hell alone?"

"Because I don't want to," he says, grabbing my wrist and forcing my arm down.

"I like you, Summer. I really, really do. And if you can forgive me, I would love to take you on a date, get to know you better, and be the kind of boyfriend you deserve."

"Why, Tanner, you know the thing is…" I wrestled my wrist from his grip. "If you actually liked me, this whole thing wouldn't have happened. Because if you ‘really, really’ liked me, you wouldn’t want me to hurt, thinking you only used me for another night of sex. Do you have any idea how disgusting that feels?" I blink away the tears that are gathering in my eyes.

"So no, Tanner, I don't buy that you like me. And you know what? After the little stunt you pulled, I don't like you either." His face falls, and he instinctively takes a step back.

"So thanks for Amsterdam. It was fun while it lasted. Have the life you deserve."

And with that, I give him a slight push, making him take another step back, and quickly close the door in his face.

"Fuck." I lean my back against it and slowly let myself slide to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my face in my jeans.

"Fuck."

I'd been good at pushing everything down, so sure I would never see Tanner again. But the worst? Speaking my mind didn’t even feel cathartic. No, it just feels like all the energy has been sucked from my body.

"Fuck," I mutter again. This surprise encounter is taking me for a spin. A lot of what I said might have been out of shock or anger, but I meant every word I said.

A family emergency might be an explanation, but it's by far not an excuse. Not after leaving me the way he did, feeling used and dirty.

It's silent for the longest time until I hear a shuffle on the other side of the door and then footsteps that slowly become quieter as he walks away from the door.

"God damn it," I whisper once they’re out of earshot and reach for my phone to pull up my brother's contact.

Summer: "Tell Tanner to leave me alone."

Once I hit send, slowly get up, stretching my arms over my head and take a deep breath.

The phone buzzes with his answer.

Luca: You always want to do everything by yourself. Here’s your chance.

Luca: Knock yourself out.

"Oh, that asshole." I curse under my breath, glaring at my phone. It's taking every ounce of restraint in me to not chuck it across the room. How dare he make me eat my words?

Then I look around. Maybe there's some other way I can get even with him.

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