Chapter 24
As they neared the van, she pulled her bag from her shoulder and rummaged inside, searching for the key.
It was nice to be able to experience a community like this during the run-up to Christmas.
More than nice. Especially since working at Pennycress, people had been recognising her, talking to her.
She might be leaving soon, but she’d enjoy all the community living whilst she could.
As Rowan paused outside the van, he shifted the boxes in his arms, tilting them towards him as the one balancing on top moved a little.
‘Sorry.’ Trying to focus on the task in hand, Scarlett clicked the key fob and stepped forward, pulling the door open.
‘Cheers.’ Stepping inside, Rowan placed the boxes on the floor next to the sofa before turning around. ‘No Thelma today?’
Scarlett shook her head, smiling at the thought of Rowan worrying about little Thelma.
‘No, she’s still up at the farm. Nicola and Charlie are looking after her whilst I’m over at Pennycress.
We thought it’d be easier. Plus, Nicola reckons Charlie loves being able to relive his childhood by fussing over her.
He used to have guinea pigs growing up.’
‘Ah, that’s nice for her to be pampered then.’ Grinning, Rowan jumped back down from the van before patting the pockets of his jeans, a worried expression creeping across his face.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘I think I must have left my keys at the stall.’ He grimaced. ‘At least I hope I have, or I’ve completely lost them.’
Scarlett pulled the door closed and locked it. ‘I’ll come and help you look. Is that where you had them last?’
‘I think so. I carried the remainder of the stock back to my car and then came back to the market. I’m hoping I put them down on the stall whilst I checked I’d picked everything up.’
Jogging to catch him up, Scarlett matched his pace as they retreated towards the village green.
Even in just the few minutes it had taken them to walk to the van, the streets seemed emptier, the queue outside the chip shop shorter, the pavement empty outside the restaurant, the diners all presumably having wandered inside and been seated.
Pulling her scarf up higher over her chin, she shivered, the adrenaline of running the stall and being kept busy all day suddenly wearing off.
She watched as Rowan held his hand up to wave at a couple in the restaurant window.
‘Were you a stallholder at the Christmas market last year too?’
Turning to her, Rowan answered, a shadow forming across his features. ‘No, I’ve been before as a visitor though. Last year and also another year when I stayed in Meadowfield for work.’
She bit down on her lower lip. There was something he wasn’t telling her. By the expression, his first visit to the market hadn’t been a happy one. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes, sorry.’ Running his hand over his face, Rowan gave her a small smile. ‘My first time visiting the market was in the middle of a not-so-great time in my life. It was in the middle of my break-up from my ex-wife.’
‘Oh, right.’ She reached out and gently laid her hand on his arm.
‘Sorry.’ She could see how hurt he still was.
Not that she should be surprised. She hadn’t filed for a patent on broken hearts; others could have them.
Others wore scars, too. But Rowan… he just seemed so together, so calm.
Besides, she just couldn’t understand why someone would want to split from him.
He was a lovely guy. A really lovely guy.
She shook her head. She was going there again.
To the place where she could believe that she and Rowan had a future together.
Well, they didn’t. They couldn’t. The more time she spent with him the more she realised that, and she was glad she hadn’t had the chance to speak to him before the market had opened.
Someone like him would never understand what had happened between her and Tyler.
He’d never be able to believe she hadn’t realised he was leading a double life.
Or maybe he would. The truth was she was just too scared to find out.
She may need to keep him at arm’s length, need to keep him in the Friendzone, but she didn’t want to lose him. That was the last thing she wanted.
Glancing at her, he ran his fingers through his hair. ‘It was a tough time. I found out she was seeing someone else behind my back.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.’ Her voice cracked as she shoved her hands in her pockets.
She definitely wasn’t the only one with scars.
A mixture of relief that she hadn’t taken Nicola’s advice and the fear of realisation that he’d never understand her past, never want anything more from her if she did divulge her secrets, flooded through her.
He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw twitching. ‘It turned out it was my mate of all people. How can anyone do that? Yes, he wasn’t the one cheating, but he knew we were married, and yet it seems my feelings were never taken into account.’
She nodded slightly, a knot forming in the pit of her stomach.
Yep, there was definitely no chance he’d understand the situation between her and Tyler.
It had even taken her a while to convince Devon that she truly hadn’t known about Donna and Tyler’s other life.
Rowan would just assume, as most did, that she’d known.
He’d tar her with the same brush as his mate. ‘That’s terrible.’
‘Yeah, it was.’ He looked forward again.
‘Of course, now looking back, I can see it was for the best. I can see that the relationship could never have worked with her, but back then, when it happened, I felt as though it was the end of my world. I lost my best mate and the woman I’d married, both at the same time. Trust is everything, isn’t it?’
‘It sure is.’ She bit down on her lower lip.
Trust was everything, and she’d had her trust in humanity well and truly broken too.
She looked across at him. He’d been able to move on, to move past what had happened to him.
He had his coffee cart and was beginning the journey of starting his second business selling the ground coffee and coffee beans.
He seemed settled, healed. Could she ever hope to be in that position?
‘You moved to Meadowfield for a fresh start?’
‘That’s right. It was what I needed. Is that why you’re here? I mean, I know you’re visiting Laura and Jackson but you mentioned a break-up.’
They walked across the green towards the ghost of the Christmas market, and Scarlett realised it had now all been sectioned off with the temporary metal fencing used to surround building work, which she had no doubt had been the work of Miss Cooke.
The stalls still stood as they had done all day, but instead of the brightly coloured table coverings and handcrafted stock which had adorned the tabletops, they were empty, the centre of the village eerily silent. ‘Yes, but I’m only passing through.’
Rowan paused by the fencing, searching for a way through before shifting a fencing panel a few inches and making a gap. He let the fence panelling fall back into place once he’d followed her through. ‘You’re going back up to Manchester then?’
‘No!’ The word escaped her lips louder than she’d meant, and she glanced around, half-expecting someone to spot them and yell at them to get out.
Lowering her voice, she continued. ‘No, I can’t go back there.
I’m not really sure where I’ll end up, to be perfectly honest. My dad lives in the Highlands so I might go and visit him and his wife. ’
‘You don’t sound so sure?’ Rowan frowned before leading the way between the empty stalls towards the one he’d had set up.
‘Umm, I’m not.’ She shrugged. ‘I need to start thinking about where I want to settle. I’ll go and visit him, but then I’m just prolonging the inevitable.’
‘What’s that? Deciding where you’ll put down roots?’ Reaching his stall, he bent down and picked up the bunch of keys which were lying beneath. ‘Bingo!’
‘You’re lucky whoever secured off the area hadn’t picked those up.
’ Scarlett grinned before continuing the conversation.
‘That’s it. I can’t go back to Manchester.
My old boss has told me a million times that there’ll always be a job there for me, but I don’t want to.
I don’t want to have to worry about running into my ex again. Sounds daft, doesn’t it?’
‘Ha, you’re asking the person who left Cardiff for a new start because he didn’t want to run into his ex or so-called mate.’ Straightening his back, he pocketed the keys.
‘I guess that’s true.’ She smiled.
‘There’s nothing the matter with starting over. It’s not running away, it’s just what it’s called, starting over.’ Leaning against the empty stall, he crossed his arms. ‘You’re not tempted by Meadowfield? You have your cousin here.’
‘Yeah. I don’t know though. I’ve thought about it.’ She had. And she was tempted, but she had a feeling finding somewhere to park her van permanently would be a little tricky with Miss Cooke as mayoress. It wasn’t as though she could continue parking it in the lay-by. Not forever.
‘Can I ask what’s stopping you?’
Settling her back against the stall, she shrugged.
‘The parking situation, I guess. Mostly.’ It was true.
It was mostly that. That and the fact she felt as though she needed to tell Laura and Jackson the truth about her and Tyler.
If she did stick around, it felt wrong that she didn’t tell them what had really happened.
But there was still a huge part of her that was nervous.
Nervous that they wouldn’t believe her that she really hadn’t known about Donna and their daughter, but a larger part of her was scared to face what had happened, to admit to herself that she couldn’t trust anyone, that someone could let her down so much.