Chapter 18
Sadie
I don’t know what came over me being so bold with Zane, especially about his self protecting.
Then there’s that little old thing about agreeing to move in.
I can’t stop thinking about it all, days later, even after I’ve started moving things into his place.
The whole sharing his house with him is still very surreal, and it’s going to take some getting used to.
But if the past few weeks have been anything to go by, I’m up for the challenge.
Now the man is looking after my cat?
His frostiness has dissipated somewhat, but maybe he just feels sorry for me after that meltdown in his office.
Not my finest moment. But after driving me and Bailey home safe the other night and all the other things: snow tires, letting me stay at his house, a year’s supply of winter mittens…
I think we’re going to be good roomies for the short-term. Then I think back to his surprise…
I stare at the box of mittens on my desk. It came in an package addressed to me, care of Lawless Farms. All different colors of the rainbow. I think about it for half a second… Did I drunkenly order shit off again? It wouldn’t be the first time.
I have been a bit blurry from being back and forth from Bailey’s to his place, trying to get mine and Mindy’s things moved before I head off to see my folks, so it’s possible.
Then I see in tiny print below the address: Z Lawless.
He did this.
That grump of a man who hates New Yorkers and vegetarians.
My heart does a little flip.
My crush has slowly roasted into this new thing…
and I’ve only just spent a night here. Not that I even saw Zane because he came in late, well after I’d showered and gone to bed.
His room is at the other end of the hall anyway, and our paths never crossed in the morning either because he’d already left for the day.
Desire sweeps over me when I think about all the sweet things he’s done, while still maintaining that gruff exterior.
He’s so grumpy with everyone, but then I find out he donates half the profits leading up to Christmas week to the children’s hospital.
He never says no to anyone who needs a hand, including the Christmas light wars.
I was also surprised to hear he steps in to play Santa so the kids who can’t make the town Christmas party don’t feel left out. Is this man just misunderstood?
When he steps into the office, I jump in surprise. The man is never quiet, so I don’t know how I didn’t hear his boots on the wooden floor. Then Maisie runs ahead, bounding up to me as she wiggles her head between my legs, and I scruff her neck, telling her she’s a good girl.
“Zane?” I say, before he can stomp by.
His brow lifts. “Mornin’.”
Oh, right. Shit. “Sorry, good morning.”
“Did you sleep okay?”
I don’t know why my cheeks flush, it’s an innocent enough question, but they do. We’re under the same roof now.
“Yes, perfect, thank you.” Like a baby, but of course I don’t say that. “I was just a little… uh, taken aback by the box of mittens. I thought I’d drunkenly made another order without realizing.”
Maisie nudges me when I stop petting her, so I continue.
He raises one brow in that extremely sexy way he does. “You’ve lost four pairs already, someone had to step in and save those fingers from frostbite.”
“Fingers are necessary,” I agree. “And thank you. I’m not sure fifteen pairs weren’t a little overkill, but the thought was kind. I really appreciate it.”
“And people say I’m an ogre.” He stomps past into his office, leaving a trail of snow behind him.
I’m used to Zane in this short space of time, and I also don’t even mind the way he gruffs.
Maisie doesn’t bother following him, instead, she curls up below my feet in a bed I put there because she’s a princess when she’s around me.
“I can’t think why,” I whisper, giggling under my breath…
Now, as I stand outside my parents’ home in Colorado with Bailey, I feel a sense of warmth come over me.
The fact I can drive here — albeit in Bailey’s car — is because Zane forbade me to take the truck off the property, deeming it unsafe to be driven out of the state.
Another cute thing he does is worry about me.
It’s not overbearing, it’s subtle. I don’t even think he knows he’s doing it.
“Are you gonna do the honors?” Bailey asks.
I nod. “Yep.” I knock on the door, waiting until I hear Harry, their little spotted dachshund, barking as he runs up the hallway. I don’t wait for Mom or Dad to answer, I try the handle and it’s unlocked. Swinging the door open, I scoop Harry up into my arms and yell, “Mom, Dad?”
I hear Mom scurrying from the kitchen. “Sadie?”
“Hi Mom!” I wave Harry’s paw at her and she rushes toward me, yelling, “Elliott!”
We embrace and then she pulls Bailey into a hug, too. “What in the world?” Mom presses her hands to her face, clearly adjusting to the fact we’re standing here in the flesh.
“We were just passing by,” Bailey says, taking Harry from my arms and snuggling into him the way he loves. “Thought we’d see what you’re all doing for Christmas since we’re gonna be neighbors.”
Mom wipes her tears as Dad appears, taking his specs off as he bounds toward us. “Princess!” He pulls me into a big bear hug, lifting me off my feet. “You never said anything!”
“Well,” I start, when he eventually sets me down and gives Bailey a hug, too. “I had a lot of things happen in New York, and I didn’t want you to worry.”
Mom instantly frowns. “I know you like us to keep out of your business, but I’ve been looking up employment agencies,” Mom says. “And there’s a ton of better jobs with higher pay. You did the right thing packing your things and leaving, honey.”
Mom’s forgetting that I was the one who was fired.
I clear my throat. “What I didn’t tell you was Kelto didn’t pay the rent, and we were evicted.”
Both my parents stare at me. I continue on anyway. “She left, and I’ve no idea where she is. I had to use all my savings to cover things, but it was too late to save the lease.”
“If you needed money, you should’ve said,” Dad says sternly. “You know we’re here to help you out no matter what.”
Yeah, just what I need, my parents bailing me out again. “I know, Dad, and I love you for it. It was a learning curve,” I say. “I needed to stand on my own two feet. Then Bails told me about this job in Alpine Falls—”
Mom gasps. “You’ve moved to Alpine Falls?”
I’m about to tell her it’s temporary, but the words don’t come out of my mouth. Instead, I say, “Yep, almost two weeks ago.”
Bailey side eyes me approvingly. “And we thought what better time to surprise you right before you pack for your vacation. We’re only an hour away!”
Mom pats her chest, next she’s gonna need to sit down. She’s never been one for big surprises. “You’re a sneak. In fact, you’re both sneaks. What a wonderful surprise!”
I smile, feeling just a little guilty that I didn’t tell them sooner.
But I knew they’d just worry, and at some point in time, I had to handle my own messes.
“Well, I thought it would be a nice pre-Christmas surprise, and we can spend Christmas Day together. I tried to find accommodation in Alpine Falls for a few nights, but everything is booked.”
“Don’t you worry about that,” Mom says. “Oh, honey, this is going to be the most magical Christmas ever!”
“Aside from those surprise tickets to New York,” Dad mutters with a shake of his head. My eyes widen. “You didn’t?”
“I did, but what matters is you’re here, and we love you.”
My eyes tear up. “Dad, I’m sorry.”
He embraces me again, kissing me on the head. “You don’t ever have to be sorry, Princess. You are glowing, what have you been doing this entire time?”
I open my mouth, but Bailey answers before I can. “Oh, you know, soaking up the sights of Alpine Falls.” She waggles her eyebrows at me as I shoot her daggers.
My crush on Zane is a little more than a simmering pot by now. Of course, Bailey and Jo-Beth have grand ideas, but I can’t sleep with my boss. It’s unethical, as much as I’ve imagined doing just that.
“I’ve been working hard,” I put in. “At the Lawless Christmas Tree Farm, it’s amazing. I’ve fallen a little bit in love with it.”
“That’s wonderful!” Mom enthuses. “I’m so happy for you, honey.” She glances around. “But where’s Mindy?”
“Oh,” I say. “I left her with Zane at the farm because she doesn’t travel well in the car.”
“Wasn’t that so sweet of him?” Bailey coos. I elbow her in the ribs, but Dad catches on quick.
“Ooh, do I sense a little spark of romance in the air?” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“No,” I say firmly, though my temperature is on the rise. “He’s my boss, Dad, and he’s the grumpiest man I know.”
“Grumps need more loving than most,” Mom warns happily. “I know because your dad used to be one, and still is in the mornings.”
I laugh. Of course, I’ve heard the story time and time again, but it never gets old. Dad is kinda set in his ways, a lot like Zane, but Dad’s far less grumpy. He’s also mellowed with age.
“Sadie will be well and truly getting used to grumpy mornings since she’s just moved into Zane’s homestead,” Bailey adds with a flashing smile. I fire daggers at her again and smile nervously at my parents as they both stare at me wide-eyed.
“It’s all temporary,” I say quickly, adding, “He’s at the other end of the house, plus he’s never there. Zane’s mom, Sylvia, suggested it until the staff accommodation gets the heating and windows fixed.” I know I’m babbling, and I’ll kill Bailey later for blurting that out.
“Well, honey, we’re just glad you’re happy, aren’t we, Elliott?”
Dad hugs me again. “We sure are.”
“Sorry,” Bailey whispers to me when we have a moment alone to get our things out of the car. “You know, sometimes these things just fly out of my mouth.”
“Don’t they ever!” I whisper back. But I’m not mad at her, I mean, I am staying there after all.
I just don’t want my parents to worry about me, it isn’t good for Dad’s heart.
Though Mom looks like she couldn’t be happier, and after telling Dad more about the Lawless farm over dinner, he seems to be warming up to the idea too.
We spend the next couple of days helping them pack up the car, and gearing up for the trip back. We’re going to go to Silver Pines with them, and head back later in the afternoon before dark.
That night, Zane sends me a video of Mindy.
She’s playing with her ball. A few stills later, he’s teasing her with a stuffed mouse on a string, dragging it across the rug as she chases it.
I stare at it, hardly daring to believe that Zane the grump could be this playful.
The video is captioned: Missing Mommy, but Zane’s got this.
So, he has a sense of humor, who knew?
Before I can blink, we’re heading back to Alpine Falls after helping Mom and Dad unpack their car, settle Harry in and wave goodbye until after the weekend; they plan on making the trip over to us.
Zane said they could take one of the rooms at the Lodge because there were a couple of last-minute cancelations.
They were so ecstatic it made my eyes sting.
When I get back to Zane’s, I find Mindy curled up on the couch, the fire roaring, but no Zane. When I get to the kitchen, I see a Post-it note stuck to the kettle; the first place he knew I’d go when I got in.
It reads: Gone to stables, had a problem with Zeus. Didn’t want to text while you were driving.
Oh, my god. I immediately pick up the phone and dial his number. “Zane?” I say. “Is everything okay?”
His voice sounds tired when he answers. “I’ve just had the vet and my sister here, they said he has a case of the strangles.”
“Oh, god, what’s that?” I pace the living room, afraid of what he’s going to say. I know how much he loves his horses, but Zeus is his main guy.
“It’s a common bacterial infection. He had some coughing and a fever yesterday. I got him checked out because he wasn’t his usual self. He’s gonna be okay with a short dose of medicine and some rest.”
“I’ll come to you,” I say.
“You don’t have to do—”
“Stay put. I’ll drive slow, it’s not far.”
The stables are literally half a mile. I run around the house bundling a couple of warm blankets, pillows, and make a thermos of coffee. Knowing Zane, he won’t leave Zeus’s side tonight. The barn will be freezing, but at least he’ll be close. I wonder if he’s eaten?
Judging by how clean the kitchen is, it doesn’t look like it. I make a couple of sandwiches and throw them in the truck, too.
I kiss Mindy on the head, telling her I’ll be back soon, and set off.
I take the road ultra slow, knowing how dangerous these tracks are, especially at night in the dark when stray animals can be on the road.
When I get to the stables, I see the lights on.
I grab my armful of things, leaving the pillows behind, and rush toward the open doors.
Zane, his dad and Grandpa are inside, talking in low voices.
Zane’s face looks… different. Sullen. Ashen. Like he hasn’t slept a wink in days.
“Hey, Z, Frank, Mr. Lawless,” I say quietly. “I’m sorry to interrupt.”
They turn to face me. “Hello, Sadie,” Frank says, tipping his hat.
Grandpa Gary does the same. “Nice to see you again so soon.”
I motion to my armful of things. “I brought some coffee and blankets in case you want to stay with him.”
“That’s very thoughtful,” Gary says with a small smile. “Isn’t it, Zane?”
Zane nods, his words barely audible. “Appreciate it.”
“How’s Zeus?” I ask, afraid of what they’ll say even though Zane told me he was going to be okay.
“Aside from horse flu, he’s gonna be fine.” Frank slaps Zane on the back. “This one hasn’t slept. I’ve offered to take over, but he’s a little like his pa when it comes to matters of the heart. He’ll see this through.”
“Dad, I’m fine,” Zane says, but I see the bags under his eyes, and it yanks at my heartstrings. Then, to me, he gives me a chin lift, his voice deep and quiet. “Glad you got home okay.”
Home.
I swallow, knowing that even though I’ve only been here for just under two weeks, I’ve never felt more at home, or alive for that matter, in my entire life.
And I’ll admit, it has a lot to do with the Lawless farm. Maybe one Lawless family member in particular.